Introducing Myself

ccvslp

Hi guys, I figured I would introduce myself in a new post.

TTC our first since 8/2017.  We got pregnant only to have a MMC, blighted ovum at almost 8 weeks.  I had a D&C 9/25/17.  I had finally wrapped my head around MC a bit in mid November as my first real cycle was underway and was diagnosed with PCOS (I am 29 and have probably always had it but was slapped on the pill as a teenager with absent cycles - they had returned after coming off the pill December 2016 but were irregular and not as they should be apparently.)  Since my diagnosis things have been tough and overwhelming, even harder than right after the MC... thinking about TTC with the increased MC odds that PCOS carries is so scary to me.  I had a sonohysterogram last November that showed an abnormality and led to a hysteroscopy yesterday that actually looked great.  They did find a small hemorrhagic cyst on my right ovary, though, in ultrasound, but don’t seem overly worried about it  (in addition to all of my usual PCOS ones.)  Now that hysteroscopy is done we aren’t technically benched but are still holding off at least until after we see two REs this month for opinions, 1/23 and 1/30.  I have also seen a naturopath who’s ordered lots of labs in addition to my OB’s and will get her suggestions/plan 1/30.  I’m turning back to the bump now because I need a place to come where people “get it.”  I feel like after a measly four months of spinning my wheels a lot of my friends who have never experienced anything like this are sick of hearing it.... like “is she really still all about that same topic?!”... but of course I am.  Every appointment takes months to get to and every day of waiting just for answers (nevermind the “fixing” part) feels like a month.  

Looking forward to getting to know you ladies and supporting each other.  I hope 2018 is full of lots of rainbows. 

dpjennifer

ccvslp Sorry for your loss but Welcome to our group. There are a variety of backstories here and we definitely 'get it.' People IRL tend to say "sorry" and move on and wonder why you're not over the MC a few weeks later, when you can just 'try again' and it gets super frustrating.

Kath525

I'm so sorry for your loss. Waiting is so hard and there's a lot of it in the ttc journey. I hope you get some answers with the RE and that your stay on this board is short. Welcome.

coco2787

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I also had a MMC and D&C, it's a tough pill to swallow.  I hope the RE appointments go well and you can come up with a good plan for moving forward.  Welcome to the board.

tosh24

Welcome. I am so sorry for your loss. You may not be ready to dive in and participate, but the IF board has lots of ladies past and present who have dealt with/are dealing with PCOS. Reading though years of threads at once can be overwhelming, but if you are interested to see the types of treatments and protocols that other PCOS ladies have used to GP, the board is a great resource and you can just browse little by little. I don't know what the Trouble TTC board is like anymore but years ago when I was on it there were also a lot of ladies dealing with PCOS. I don't think the board is as active anymore but it might be another place to check out. GL!

ccvslp

Thank you, ladies.  Thanks, @tosh24 for the suggestion!  Sometimes it can be overwhelming to see everything others have gone through but that could be great a little at a time as you said.   

pumpkinpancake

@ccvslp I’m sorry for your loss but welcome to the group. Unfortunately, we all definitely “get it”, so you’re in good company here. I agree it’s hard in real life without people who have gone through the same or similar experiences, so that’s why I’ve really appreciated this group over the last few months. As much as it sucks to be here, we’re all really supportive and can relate on many levels. 

bakerstreetboys

I'm sorry for your loss.  It's so hard when people expect you to just move on.  It makes me so upset and angry when people say "oh, it'll happen soon", or "I'm sure it won't happen again".  It's like sticking a bandaid on an amputated limb.  I'm new here but it's a great board where people get it   Good luck with your appointments!

kikimi83

So sorry for your loss. It is a lonely experience, that's for sure. Somebody actually told me when I told them I miscarried "Oh that's good. That means something was wrong.". Well no. I didn't want something to be wrong. I didn't want any of this! I know people don't think and just try to say something but sometimes that's so much worse. 

offtoneverland

@kikimi83 omg! I can't believe someone said that to you. That's horrible. Some people badly need to work on their empathy skills.

kikimi83

@offtoneverland really. Just say "sorry". Full stop. There is no other appropriate response. Don't give me your trite cliches or try to make me feel better. And then I find myself being like "yeah you're right" and hating myself after for not saying something...ugh.