Weekly Questions | w/o Jan 8 - Page 2 — The Bump
June 2018 Moms

Weekly Questions | w/o Jan 8

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Re: Weekly Questions | w/o Jan 8

  • @LaceyBee522 Same as @doxiemoxie212, I definitely miss at least one day a week (the winter break really screwed me up since I have a routine at school).  And honestly, towards the end of my last pregnancy, i forgot a lotttt.  


    Me: 28 | Husband: 39
    Married March 2016
    DD: born 7.22.16
    DS EDD: 6.23.18
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    LaceyBee522
  • @LaceyBee522 I agree with @doxiemoxie212 that they wont absorb the same if you try to catch up. I take a 3 a day and I asked my Dr if I could take all three at once (that's actually what I had been doing until I read the damn label) and she said that some vitamins and minerals can only be absorbed in smaller doses. So I set a reminder on my phone for three times a day and I keep a baggie of them in my purse. That has really helped and I don't think I have missed any since doing that. I also make it a point to not dismiss the reminder until I have actually taken them. 
    *TW LC*
    Me & MH: 32
    DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
    TTC #2: 12/2019
    Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
    Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
    Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18

    LaceyBee522
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  • @LaceyBee522 Hey there, it's your local neighborhood pharmacist here. As others have said, wouldn't recommend doubling up. All water soluble vitamins (basically everything besides D, E, K, A) you just pee out the excess that you don't absorb so it's kind of a waste to double up. Plus too much of certain minerals and other items can give yucky side effects if more than the norm is taken, ie: iron. 
    2589doxiemoxie212LaceyBee522aharv77
  • Not baby related, but can any of you walk me through the process to find a therapist? I really need to get DH in to see someone; his anxiety, stress and (likely) depression are getting beyond what is reasonable. Ideally, I'd setup a few different appointments with people so he could meet a few and see who he clicks with, but the biggest issue in his life is his lack of time because of his work schedule, so that isn't an option. I'll be lucky if I can find a time he can actually make it to at all. But he's got to see someone. This is getting out of hand. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 - Does your work (or his) have an Employee Assistance Program (EAP)?  They may be able to help him find someone.  It's 3rd party and confidential, so work won't find out.

     Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    First Son - born 2013
    Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV).  First open heart surgery at 5 days old.  He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing.
    Third Son - due June 9, 2018
    izza2
  • doxiemoxie212doxiemoxie212 member
    edited January 2018
    @mytinc I don't think so... I'm not really sure. Our insurance, etc., is 100% through his work, and honestly I'm on my own to find the therapist and schedule it because of how much he works, and I think the depression (again, I'm not a therapist, so I guess maybe I shouldn't be using that word yet, but I mean...) has gotten bad enough that he feels hopeless and like nothing could possibly help. So he's not going to seek anything out. He'll go if I tell him to (uh, work schedule permitting...), but he won't seek anyone out on his own. 

    I guess my question is more specifically: I know how to find a therapist (we're in NYC; there are probably thousands), but how do we find someone he actually likes. I'm seriously debating making a bunch of appointments for myself so I can basically interview them for him. Ugh, this is nuts. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 when I was going through this with MH he just went to his PCP for the initial appointment. His PCP recommended (or just sent him to) one psychiatrist. I think just to confirm his diagnosis. They put him on a medication and then spent about 6 months trying to find the right medication/dosage. Now a year later they are weaning him off. I would have preferred that he actually found a therapist that he saw regularly and talked things through but I just don't think he would have done that.  
    *TW LC*
    Me & MH: 32
    DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
    TTC #2: 12/2019
    Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
    Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
    Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18

  • @krashke I know for a fact DH would not take medication unless maybe he had been in therapy for many months without success, unfortunately. It's hard enough for me to get him to take Advil when his knees act up from running. He's so pro mental health, medication, etc., for everyone but himself; it's unfortunate. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 Going a bit off what @krashke said, if he does have a PCP that knows him well, they may be able to give him recommendations on a therapist he would click well with based on what they know of his personality. 


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  • @lisa2589 He doesn't have a PCP... he went to one when we lived in DC maybe 2 years ago, and I think he had one here when he was growing up, but honestly that might've just been a pediatrician? Our insurance doesn't require referrals, so he has an allergist and a gastroenterologist he went to once or twice last year :# ...
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 Your idea to set up appointments with a bunch of therapists and just start interviewing is basically the best route. When I found my therapist, I used my company's EAP to meet with the first one, then she gave me 5 recs based on my insurance. I met with all of them until I narrowed down who I really liked.

    If you happen to be on the same insurance as YH, you could take advantage of his EAP, too - I think. 
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    mytincPatientlyWaiting10
  • @doxiemoxie212 - You can get recommendations from his PCP, but honestly you can tell a lot about a therapist over the phone. When I called around to find people who parred with my insurance, there was a clear distinction between some people and others. One office told me they'd call me before 5 to let me know when their first available appointment was, and if the therapist would even take me on (Apparently he was picky? Idk) - but they never called me, and I felt like that told me all I needed to know.

    If he has that busy of a schedule, there are online therapists he can communicate with via email, text, and video chat or phone. It offers him flexibility to reach out when he needs to throughout the week, but doesn't take hours out of his schedule to do.
    Me: 25 | DH: 29 | DSS: 9
    TTC #1: Aug - Nov '15 (TTA N'15-J'17 for Nursing School)
    TTC #1 take two: July 2017 (NTNP); August 2017 (actively TTGP)
    BFP 10/9 @ 10 DPO; EDD June 23, 2018

  • @doxiemoxie212 So, idk if this would work for him but talkspace.com is an online therapy program.  I've had friends that use it and really enjoy it because they try to match you up with the best fit for not only who you are as a person, but also what you are dealing with.  I looked into it, but never pulled the trigger. 
    Me: 28 | Husband: 39
    Married March 2016
    DD: born 7.22.16
    DS EDD: 6.23.18
    BabyFruit Ticker
    2589
  • @LaceyBee522 okay, maybe I can convince him to do some digging into his benefit information to see about EAP...
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 Also, do you ever use ZocDoc? I haven't used it for mental health professionals, but I'm sure they are on there. If you decide to do the text/call route, I've seen a ton of ads in the city for Talk Space - maybe that would work for him and his schedule?
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @Izza2 @sunshineandwhiskey thank you! Maybe an online therapist would work. I think he might need something more.... hands on? at first, but in the long run especially I think this could be great. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
    izza2
  • @doxiemoxie212 I have no advice to offer but I hope that one of these works for him!  It's gotta be hard for you too, to have to live with someone who's down and unpredictable.  Dealing with those issues myself, I know how hard I can be to live with at times.  
    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days
    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    Testing on mom and dad for possible reasons all came back normal.
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks
    Testing results all returned normal and baby was a GIRL.
    More testing on mom and dad for other issues all returned normal results.
    BFP #7 10/15 | DS born 6/4/16 @ 36 weeks 
    BFP #8 9/28/17 AHHH!!!  |  EDD 6/6/18

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!


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    doxiemoxie212
  • @doxiemoxie212 (in grad school to become a therapist) the type that are pro therapy for everyone else except themselves are usually in denial and think they aren't "that bad." He can't see it. You honestly might have to start going together for him to see it.
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @doxiemoxie212 MH told me today he's going to see a therapist today. I don't think he gets to pick who he sees, so I'm no help there, but you're not alone. It's hard knowing they need help but we can't help them.
    When I went to a therapist several years ago, I picked the first one that took my insurance and had hours after 5pm. In retrospect, I would have preferred someone who was more talkative but it worked for what I needed. 
  • @doxiemoxie212 +1 to the ladies who mentioned TalkSpace. I haven't used it personally but my one of my closest friends used it when she was going through some major life changes last year and said that it was really beneficial. She liked the convenience of not having to leave to home and availability before/after work hours.
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    doxiemoxie212
  • Not trying to take away from @doxiemoxie212 's question (my husband deals with some mental health issues too, it's nice to know I'm not the only one living with someone who goes through that stuff!  Best of luck to finding a therapist!) but I have a question about strollers.  My parents got us a super nice jogging stroller for Christmas, I think it might be Thule brand but can't say for sure off the top of my head.  I'm excited about it because I was wanting one for jogging/walking and I thought the big wheels might be nice for rougher surfaces too.  My question is, what are everyone's opinions on how many/what types of strollers are needed?  This stroller allows for a car seat to be clipped in, which I've heard can be very helpful.  Should I also register for a stroller that is more compact, such as an "umbrella" stroller?  I was thinking for travelling we might want a smaller one (like for airplane travel).  How early can umbrella strollers be used?  They don't look to me like they have much head support, so I'd think you'd have to wait until baby is a little older.  Then again, I doubt we'll be taking any big trips until baby is at least 6 months or so, so maybe by then we wouldn't need one with a lot of support?  FTM here so I have no clear.  ST+M, any advice?  Or if this has been addressed in another thread point me that way!  Thanks everyone!
  • @taykc90 you might find this link helpful! https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12718444/product-spotlight-series-strollers-edition-w-o-oct-16#latest 

    Also, not sure if it was mentioned there, but maybe check out the Babyzen Yoyo; it's lightweight and super compact when folded, but it has a bassinet attachment. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • I think it depends on the umbrella stroller model. I just picked up a used Maclaren Triumph and even though it reclines they recommend at least 6mo. when baby can support themselves.
  • Personal preference, I hate umbrella strollers. I know they're compact and easy but I hate the lack of cupholders, storage and no tray for the kid. Maybe I'm just picky? 
  • @taykc90 If your question isn't addressed in the stroller thread you can bump it. 

    @doxiemoxie212 Not much to add. I've found therapists for myself and others by getting recommendations word of mouth/asking around. 






    doxiemoxie212
  • @may142011 our umbrella has a cup holder and storage, so I think it just depends on what you get. @taykc90
     We switched to an umbrella around 12 months because the Cruz got too cumbersome.  I don't think you need to register for an umbrella, since you won't be able to use it right away.
    taykc90
  • Here's a random opinion based question: What's the line on too many bump pictures over the course of your pregnancy?
    I'd imagine its similar to too many selfies, or too many gym pics. But I want your opinions
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @ffw0617 like for you to have? or for you to post on social media? and if we're talking social media, are we talking snapchat or instagram stories or like, on your fb profile. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @ffw0617 do you mean on social media or in general. In general I say the sky is the limit. On SM I wouldn’t go so far as to say just one a month because it’s your SM, but maybe not just excessively like a daily thing. I’m not a big poster on social media myself but if someone wanted to per se document the heck out of things on their own Instagram I’d say, “do you, booboo.” 
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  • @doxiemoxie212 sorry I meant to post on social media.
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • krash_krash_ member
    edited January 2018
    @ffw0617 if we're talking social media I think less is more but it is your place to share so feel free but I un-followed a friend on FB during her pregnancy because of the incessant bump pics. Now she keeps asking me when she's going to see my bump but I don't think I will post my first bump pic on SM until 20 weeks.  
    *TW LC*
    Me & MH: 32
    DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
    TTC #2: 12/2019
    Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
    Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
    Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18

  • @ffw0617 I think funny, more frequent bump photos on instagram STORIES or on snapchat are fine. I definitely wouldn't do more than one bump photo per month on my actual instagram or fb. I'm also fairly particular about the quality of photos I post on those anyway, so I wouldn't want to flood my pages with crappy photos. But again, love them on stories! Esp with good stickers.
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @krashke that's kind of what sparked the question. I've posted 2 photos on social media since we announced the pg and every single time at least 3 people comment "when are we going to see the bump" or "I want to see the bump" or "I can start to see the bump." Like dude its a picture or me and grandma (who just had hip surgery) on facebook WHY would I be showing off my bump? 
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
    taykc90
  • @ffw0617 that would be so annoying! Especially on a pic of you and your grandma. The only photos I have posted since we announced have been of my dog and cat lol. I would probably hold off longer just to spite them. 
    *TW LC*
    Me & MH: 32
    DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
    TTC #2: 12/2019
    Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
    Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
    Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18

    taykc90
  • @krashke agreed.
    Me:27 DH: 31 Married Since: 08/2016
    TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
  • @ffw0617 first time around, for fb or IG, I probably did a couple a month. Snapchat etc, ehhh... more is ok i feel. 

    Something feels weird doing it this time around for me. Not sure if it's cause i know the 2nd isn't as exciting for other ppl? Or cause just about everyone on my fb has been there/done that?
    me:35 DH:34
    DS: born oct 2012
    TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
              BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
              BFP #3 sept17  EDD 5/31/18
    fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
  • Is anyone keeping a "Baby Book" that tracks your pregnancy too? I am getting so many US pics (because twins/high risk = more US appointments), I feel like I should save them. But, is that just old school and everything is online now?
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    ramblebee
  • @LaceyBee522 i bought one from Anthropologie over the holidays when they were doing like 30% off. I wrote like 3 things in it so far, but I still need to do the pictures and all that stuff... let me see if I can find it... it's V cute IMO...

    https://www.anthropologie.com/shop/le-petit-baby-book2?category=kids&color=040 

    BTW, the kids stuff at Anthro is so effing adorable. Expensive, but adorable. 
    Me: 30 // DH: 30
    TTC #1: July 2016
    BFP - Sept 2016 // MC - Sept 2016
    TTC #1 (version 2.0): May 2017
    BFP - Sept 2017 // EDD - June 2, 2018 // DD born June 6, 2018
  • @doxiemoxie212 Thanks! I didn't even know Anthro had kids stuff!
    Pregnancy Ticker
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