STM+ Thread Week of 1/3

SmashJam

How far along are you? 

How old are your other kids? 

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

mikayla14mom

How far along are you? 
12 weeks today

How old are your other kids? 
3&4

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
My girls are excited, but only want a sister. Can’t wait to find out. If it’s a boy it should be fun trying to explain why they are getting a brother and not a sister. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I’m excited about having a little new born again! 

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
I can’t think of any fictional places, but I have a long list of real places I want to go to. 

SmashJam

How far along are you? 11 weeks today!

How old are your other kids? 2.5

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Sleep and potty training. He does great outside the house, but inside the house he doesn't stop playing to pee or poop and has literally gone on the floor the last couple days if I forget to prompt him. Also, he has started not falling asleep at night until 8:30 (about a month now) and still waking at 6 or earlier! I want to cut the nap out but on 9 hours of sleep i feel like I can't, so I am trying to cut down the length of the nap and start it earlier. Its worked a few times but not every time, so who knows. Hard to get him down by 12:30 when our outside the house activities often end at 11:30. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: He's still pretty fun to be around. He's always learning new things and playing make believe, and he's a bit snarky, which I love sometimes but sometimes I hate.

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? Hmmm....I picked this and its hard! Lol. I read a lot of fantasy and dystopian novels, so not a lot of great places to visit. However, I just finished rereading the His Dark Materials, so I would say that fictional universe where you can travel to infinite worlds (if you can find the openings). Or a world where magic was the norm, it might be cool to see what its like for people to just use magic like its commonplace.

limoncat

How far along are you? 
11 weeks 3 days
How old are your other kids? 
2 years 4 months
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
My son started a new school today! He was in a traditional play based daycare, and now he is going to a Spanish immersion Montessori school. It is such a big change that I am nervous, but I hope it will be really great for him. My husband did drop off (because I'm a wimp)
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I am really excited to meet the baby. I am hoping to be team green so I think that will make the birth even more exciting than it already is. However, my husband is doing everything he can to convince me to find out the sex at the anatomy scan, so we will see.
GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
Hogwarts would be pretty fun!

comealongponds

How far along are you? 12 ish weeks

How old are your other kids? 15m twin boys

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Currently 8n the middle of packing up my house to move this weekend, boys just got over gastro so hoping no one else gets it (FIL and one BIL already did).

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I’m excited to see what my boys think of having a baby sibling!

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? Hogwarts or the Doctor’s universe. 

paytonpedro

How far along are you? 
13+3
How old are your other kids? 
He’ll be 2 in less than 2 months. 
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
My kid has to be getting into the trying twos. He’s been so unruly. He looks at me while he’s doing something I’m telling him not to do. We spank if he does something more than 3 times of being told not to in a row and he goes in time out. Both work for a few minutes or an hour but he goes right back to doing it. What has worked for other mamas? I’m loosing my patience with him just blatantly not listening. i literally thought he could be hard of hearing when I told him don’t touch that in a calm voice and he didn’t respond. So in the same voice I said do you want chocolate and he looked right up and said “chocolate?”. So I know he’s just not listening. 
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
DS loves this baby so much already. I had an u/s this morning and as soon as the baby popped up in the screen he knew and said BABY!! It’s going to be so nice when they can play together. 
GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
Not sure. 

cseley321

How far along are you? 11 weeks and change

How old are your other kids? 2 and a half

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? I am the worst. I need to start looking for preschools for my kid but have no idea where to even begin. Help

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights, but I am excited nonetheless!

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? A place where I could take a vacation from my daily responsibilities, and just focus on getting my work caught up. since that will never happen, let's just go with Fantasia from neverending story

SmashJam

@paytonpedro constantly doing exactly what you do (sans spanking); we do breaks for 1 minute (i heard half the age is good for time out, my son is 2.5) and if he keeps doing it we go right back to break. If it is toy related, like hes throwing or mistreating the toy or not listening to instructions, we just remove the toy, and take a break, and let him know he can try again later. We often give it back the next day, but sometimes at the end of the day if he asks for it and we think he can handle it based on if behavior has gotten better. But yeah, its a trying, boundary pushing time. I feel like our terrible twos got progressivly worse, lol. 

@Crystal321 I have to start looking at preschools too! I am putting it off. Vermont does 10 hours free public preschool, and if your school doesn't operate one they give you the money to pay for preschool of your choice. That being said, there is only one in our town and it requires 15 hours minimum attendance, so I'd have to pay the difference and its pricey. So I'll have to check other towns. 

powellgirl

How far along are you? 
12+3

How old are your other kids? 
He just turned 2 last month

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
My son is very sensitive and very much so a mommas boy. When I first started babysitting, he would yell at the other kids if they tried to give me a hug and say “That’s my Mommy!” He has gotten much better about sharing me, so I’m hoping he does ok when the babies come. He’s definitely into the testing boundaries phase at this point. I’m hoping it gets better soon! He doesn’t like to potty on the toilet, but he’s good about telling me when he needs to go. He always says the potty hurts him bu, so I think we’ll try a urinal.  

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
I’m having twins this time around, so I’m feeling like a first time mom this time around! I’m excited for this new adventure! So far both babies are growing on track, so that’s a relief!
GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
The Tardis! 

mhaack92

How far along are you? 13 weeks 6 days

How old are your other kids? almost 2.5

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Currently things are going smoothly, except I've been trying to get a cute picture of my son holding a "I'm a big brother" book for our social media announcement and at this rate the baby will be born long before that ever happens.. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: My son is starting to talk about the baby, which is pretty sweet. He is quite persistent it is a girl, although we've known (and told him) it's a boy the entire time.

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

@paytonpedroGoing into the two's I was terrified. My son's whining and tantrums seemed never ending, but honestly just being consistent with time outs has helped tremendously! and now he is almost 2.5 and I can say I am truly enjoying this age! One other thing that has helped us quite a bit is when he is freaking out and can't calm down I bring him to his bed to "cool off". Within 1 minute he is typically reset. Good Luck! I hope it gets better for you!
@SmashJam I am hoping to start potty training next week and am so nervous! I'm not looking forward to having to ask him to try to use the bathroom for what seems like the rest my life... Everyone I know seems to say boys are harder than girls for some reason! I hope your little man gives in soon!

cseley321

@paytonpedro it's just the age and the personality of the child... nothing worked on mine other than distraction. I just stuck to my guns so that she would understand that I am not letting up on my boundaries. Over time the tantrums died down and she is back to her old self. She is almost 2 and a half now.

Her big trigger was not being able to communicate what she wanted, and not being able to do something on her own (like she would try and wear doll clothes which obviously won't fit). I would just get her focused on something else if it was the latter problem.

I've lost my temper over the tantrums.. I try and keep in mind that it's just what toddlers do. Some kids can be managed well, but some are just strong willed and will eventually grow out of it. Just don't give in!

SmashJam

@powellgirl its interesting you say that he tells you it hurts him. If my son is on the little potty for too long, there is a red ring, and I wonder if that contributes to him refusing to go. He's never said it hurts, but I wonder if it does. He's started to go on the big potty and we've had less accidents. He hasn't peed on the couch all week, but I did clean pee off the floor yesterday, lol.

ETA: He just peed on the floor again. And we just went to the potty two minutes before.

zande2016

How far along are you?
12+6

How old are your other kids? 
15 months 

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
He's been SO clingy lately, and literally obsessed with me. It's really sweet but gets to a point where I need a break. I can't eat, drink,
use my phone, or go to the bathroom without him clinging to me, but my husband gets to do whatever he wants and our son couldn't care less. He also runs around the house yelling "mama mama mama" all the time lol. I'm sure the terrible twos will be much worse, but dam I'm exhausted. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
He is giving hugs and kisses now, and understanding more when I ask him questions and talk to him. It's so cool seeing him learn new things and understanding what's going on more. 

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

 Hogwarts! 

stillcozy

How far along are you? 
14 weeks 
How old are your other kids? 
Lilimonster is 18 months next week
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
we are finally cutting molars and ugh i hate it! getting her to eat is a serious struggle right now! still wanting liquids(milk) at night when she wakes up so trying to find the balance of giving her fluids for her cold and also not becoming a habit. 
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
She is just so playful and fun and her speech is really starting to take off so it is fun to hear her talk more. Even though I can't feel this little one seeing them wiggle so much at the Nt scan makes me really excited and feeling a lot more connected
GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
Narnia or Rivendell

wildtot

How far along are you? 
13 wks!
How old are your other kids? 
20 months 
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
We are transitioning to a new sitter next week and fully effective next month. Curious to see how he does with someone new. Toddler bed transition has been a success!
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
DS loves other kids so super excited to see how they interact.
GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
I’m not big on fictional stuff but i just finished watching The Magicians and i think Filary (spelling?) would be cool.

WorkinWeezel

How far along are you? 
14w4d
How old are your other kids? 
4 and 7, will be 5 and 8 when LO is born
Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
I have no idea how I'm going to juggle this.  My son is... difficult.  And my daughter is used to being the baby.  They are both excited, son wants a brother/daughter wants a sister, but the emotional drain is so concerning to me.
Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
WHEN THEY ARE GETTING ALONG it is nice that they have someone to entertain each other.  And it will be nice to have someone old enough to watch LO while I take a shower, etc... instead of dragging the baby in to the bathroom with me.
GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
No clue- this is tough.  There are plenty of real places I'd like to go!!!!  

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acunamatada

How far along are you? 
14 weeks! 

How old are your other kids? 
2.5 

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now?
POTTY. TRAINING. DS is great with #1 but I cannot for the life of me get him to poop on the potty. So he poops in his nap time or bed time diaper... Or just on the floor or in his pants when he feels like making my day. 
I’ll hopefully get a call in the next week or so to set up EI for him too. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:
Can’t wait to see DS as a big brother, he’ll be so sweet. 

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?
Hogwarts! HBO has all of the movies on demand so DH and I have been watching all the movies for days. 

SmashJam

@acunamatada The only ones I haven't watched are 1 and the two 7's. I hate watching 7's because the first isn't super entertaining so I always wanna watch back to back, but who has 7 hours? Also...hugs to you on potty training. Nice to hear I'm not the only one whose kid is using the floor. WTF.

@wildtot good luck with sitter transition! Also...I need to watch the Magicians. Its a book too right? Or maybe its unrelated.

acunamatada

@SmashJam I’m on high alert for poop grenades at all times.. I let my guard down once last week and DS moved his toy buckets away from the wall and pooped in the corner. Then the dog ate it. Soooooooooo sooooooo gross. 

@zande2016 my son has been super clingy too! I’m hoping it’s just a phase. 

@mhaack92 good luck getting a good picture! I spent over a week trying to catch DS in a cooperative mood to get a picture in a big brother t-shirt. It never happened lol. 

@paytonpedro my sons defiant too, he’ll look you right in the eye and laugh when you tell him not to do something. I’ll count to 3 and then make him sit in his time out chair with me, he hates it and he’ll stop doing it for a bit but it’s not a permenant fix for us. 

michelle_bird

@SmashJam - Yes, it's a series of books!  I read them and they were pretty good.  

We are starting potty training soon and I'm not looking forward to the poop wars!

wildtot

@SmashJam not sure if it’s a book. I personally hate reading so not a huge help there.

owl_momma

How far along are you? 14w1d

How old are your other kids? 2.5 and 15

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Current challenge is keeping our 2 year old in his bed at night! We took the railing off the crib about a month ago and everything was great, but now he is getting up around 1-2 am and stand in our doorway completely silent until we call out to him. He's not sleep walking (dealt with that with my DD) he just wants company, and I want to sleep!!

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I think I've said this before, but I'm glad to have two that are so close in age!

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?  The land where toddlers sleep and there is no such thing as the terrible two's

acunamatada

@owl_momma that’s terrifying! DS used to come to my side of the bed and whisper for me. Thank god he stopped that! 

owl_momma

@acunamatada isn't it horrifying! My DD did the same thing, but she didn't whisper she just got super close to my face and stared at me until I woke up!

SmashJam

@MichelleAG05 I just got it on my kindle and @wildtot started the first episode during nap. Pretty excited, but it will be awhile before I get to the books, they are in line behind a 1000 pager, lol.

mamabird18

How far along are you?  15 weeks tomorrow! 

How old are your other kids? She just turned 18 months.

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? I am already mourning my sleep... haha!! My daughter is a little champion sleeper, who loves bedtime, sleeps like an angel and happily takes good naps. I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights!!!

Right now my daughter is starting the super fun phase of tantrums. We joke that she's a sour patch kid... sour then sweet! She had a rough week attitude wise, but is coming out the other side and back to her normal fun self luckily! (I blame holiday sugar!) I think the more one on one time she gets, the better, which obviously will be a struggle with the new baby but I'm sure we will adjust fine.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: We are having a boy! Looking forward to having one of each! I was totally shocked, but coming around to excitement!

mikayla14mom

owl_momma said:

@acunamatada isn't it horrifying! My DD did the same thing, but she didn't whisper she just got super close to my face and stared at me until I woke up!

My daughter just started doing this! I literally screamed yesterday. It scared me!  

tarheelgirl8

mamabird18 said:

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? I am already mourning my sleep... haha!! My daughter is a little champion sleeper, who loves bedtime, sleeps like an angel and happily takes good naps. I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights!!!

Right now my daughter is starting the super fun phase of tantrums. We joke that she's a sour patch kid... sour then sweet! She had a rough week attitude wise, but is coming out the other side and back to her normal fun self luckily! (I blame holiday sugar!) I think the more one on one time she gets, the better, which obviously will be a struggle with the new baby but I'm sure we will adjust fine.

I could have written this myself!  DD is a fabulous sleeper and always has been.  When she was an infant everyone kept telling us that the next wouldn’t be so easy.  She slept through the night at about 3.5 months.  And even before then she was up only once per night and she’s nurse for 15 min and go right back to bed.  Prayers that our next babies will be just as easy!  Well, easy sleep-wise at least! 

mamabird18

tarheelgirl8 said:

mamabird18 said:

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? I am already mourning my sleep... haha!! My daughter is a little champion sleeper, who loves bedtime, sleeps like an angel and happily takes good naps. I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights!!!

Right now my daughter is starting the super fun phase of tantrums. We joke that she's a sour patch kid... sour then sweet! She had a rough week attitude wise, but is coming out the other side and back to her normal fun self luckily! (I blame holiday sugar!) I think the more one on one time she gets, the better, which obviously will be a struggle with the new baby but I'm sure


I could have written this myself!  DD is a fabulous sleeper and always has been.  When she was an infant everyone kept telling us that the next wouldn’t be so easy.  She slept through the night at about 3.5 months.  And even before then she was up only once per night and she’s nurse for 15 min and go right back to bed.  Prayers that our next babies will be just as easy!  Well, easy sleep-wise at least! 

I am SO hoping this too!! My daughter was totally not sleeping through the night at 3.5 months... so jealous of that! It took her awhile longer. I still just feel so thankful that she's such a good sleeper now... doesn't it make all the difference in the world?!

i had a hard time last time cause you don't see the end in sight (aka sleep in sight, haha) so at very least I feel like we know it's all a "phase" this time, and sleep will come!

amdftw

How far along are you? 11w6d

How old are your other kids? DS4

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? My biggest fear about having a second is generally managing 2 kids, and also paying for 2 in daycare.  Thankfully, DS will start kindergarten in Fall 2019 so we will only be paying double daycare a little less than a year.

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: I'm looking forward to watching them bond and build their own relationship with each other.

Kenya715

How far along are you? 14 weeks

How old are your other kids? almost 11 months

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? Falling even more in love with my son. I love how it comes in waves. He's just been so sweet and engaging lately. He will play independently and then want me to play with him. And we are cuddling a lot, which I'm trying to soak up as much as possible now before I start getting to be too big. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM: Worrying a little about the logistics of two babies. All of a sudden I can't remember how to mom. Just trying to trust that I'll know what to do. 

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? Hogwarts. No question. 

SmashJam

@amdftw what kind of dog is that in your picture? Is it a corgi?!

amdftw

@SmashJam yes that's my Corgi.

SmashJam

@amdftw that's awesome! I have three corgis and a bassett. We are lovers of corgs around here!

Kenya715

For STMs whose kid is a little older than mine (11 months today) - I need to get out of the house! I'm finally feeling a little better now that I'm in second trimester and want to go do something with my son. Any suggestions on things to do or places to go? He's not walking yet and loves to explore and play. Don't think we could sit through a mommy and me matinee movie but maybe visit a museum? I'm a WFH mom and don't really know anyone else around me who would be available for playdates yet. Any and all advice is welcome! Also - I'm in the DC area and it's too chilly to go to parks or on walks. Something indoors would be better suited for us. THANKS! 

zande2016

@kenya715 see if there are any children's museums around you (there must be one in/near DC). We started taking my son to one when he was 12 months, and even though he didn't start walking until 15 months, they had a section just for babies that he loves. He was also able to enjoy parts of the toddler section even though he wasn't walking yet. Also check for indoor play places, like Gymboree. I live in NYC suburbs and there are seriously tons of them in my county, I imagine DC area would be similar. There are a lot of mommy/daddy and me type music classes around me, they usually group the classes by age and have a lot of classes for under one. Finally, look into library programs...some have music, story time, craft, etc. I work out of the home and never get to do any of these classes/programs with my son, but always hear about them on the local mom facebook groups.

acunamatada

@Kenya715 I’m not familiar with the DC area but I think a museum would be a great idea, most have exhibits geared towards younger kids too. I’m not sure a movie would be the best idea, unless you think he could sit through it or they have other things to do while the movie plays. Even at 2.5 I think I’d be pressing my luck taking DS to the movies. What about a library? Most have story time or activities for the kiddies. 

Kenya715

Thank you @zande2016 and @acunamatada! I looked into museums and there looks like there is an awesome kid's play area at one close to us. I think I'll check it out today. These suggestions are perfect! My mind has already started going to mush. I appreciate it! 

cseley321

@Kenya715we do storytime at the local library since she was 6 months and she loves it. I second a children's museum where he can most likely explore things

amdftw

@SmashJam Wow 3 corgs AND a bassett!  I'm sure they keep you on your toes.  Our girl has so much energy and personality.

leesa-lee

How far along are you? 
15 weeks today.

How old are your other kids? 
I have one 8 year old girl

Current challenges/concerns about being a STM+ or questions about things your children are going through now? 
My only concern is how I will manage my finances. Things will be a lot different until I can find a new process. 

Current joys/successes/or happy thoughts about being a STM:  
Excited about be a new mother again. Also, super excited for my daughter who has been asking to be a big sister for a while. 

GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

Hogwarts