Pregnant after 35

Fear with pregnancy #3

I’m about 5 weeks pregnant with #3 and I haven’t yet had all of the same joyful feelings I had during my first two pregnancies. This pregnancy was planned but I have feelings of fear like balancing logistics, life and work with a third, the age differences (my daughters will be 8 and 5 when baby is born), my age, 36, the fact that this will be my third C-section and whether the baby will be healthy due to my age. These are all things my husband and I discussed before TTC but now that it’s real I feel overwhelmed by all these thoughts. I due have positive thoughts on the pregnancy too but the fearful thoughts are more overpowering. I have struggled with anxiety since my first two pregnancies plus I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks in January so I know this is contributing to my feelings. Apologies for the long vent but wanted to see how others my age or expecting 3+ may be feeling

Re: Fear with pregnancy #3

  • Hi. I am pregnant with my 3rd and I’m 38 years old. My two girls are 5 and 3.5 years old. My husband and I were trying to conceive But now that I got a positive stick I’m nervous because of my age and being out numbered. I know this is a blessing but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was scared poopless. I have some anxiety about it but I think it’s more the age then anything else. I knew what I was getting myself into but now it’s so real.  Just babbling along
    So wish we could have met you Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Hi, ladies!!  I thought I was alone in these feelings!  I'm 37 and 11 weeks pregnant with #3.  This baby was planned, but now I'm wondering how we are going to cope with three, worried about issues because of my age, etc.  My kids will be 8 and 5 when the baby gets here.  If you ever want to chat, please reach out!  
    Mom of 2 with 1 on the way!
    Mason 7 - 1/8/10
    Samantha 4 - 6/28/13
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  • Glad I came across this post. Baby #3 was planned but now that it is happening, all I do is worry about being about to handle three and the change in dynamics in the household. My daughters will be 6.5 and 4.5 when baby arrives. I am hoping that part of this is because I have been raging hormones and constant nausea (even with medication) which I did not have with my first two pregnancies. I am glad that I am not the only one is having worries!!!
  • I came on line just hoping someone else was in here with a similar situation. I have two boys who are best friends (5 & 2) and our family life is just so pleasant and when I got my BFP yesterday I felt so scared and sad! I hate saying that bc that is not how the last two have been! I couldn’t sleep last night and cried while my husband told me we “can do this!” But I am not upset that we can’t do it.. I am sad about disrupting the life we have established. This is so selfish and silly and I don’t want to say any of this out loud... so here I am. He is 41 and I am turning 36 in 5 days and I just felt so good about things and now everything will change.  Forgive the long post.. just hoping to find some ladies to share I think with my first two I got on these forums checking every symptom (or lack of) and this is such a different post..
  • Thank you ladies for sharing you feelings. I think the change from our life as we know it now is what scares me most. Now that my girls (5 and 8) are in VPK and 2nd we have one drop off and minimal daycare cost. I feel guilty that with my first two I felt so much more happiness. I was still nervous about some things but not like this.  I thought about all the these changes/risks before trying for #3 so I don’t understand why ever since I got my BFP panic set in
  • Hi!!
    I have 2 already and I’m 40 aghhh ... Dd age 6 and Ds age 4. (4w3 days or so I think and just got my + Sunday. freaking out lol) 
    I am nervous about the age difference like all of you, and my 2 have already told me “no more babies” lol but i’m sure it’ll be different once they find out.
    Any cool ideas for telling your other kids? 
    Will you find out the gender? 
    Cause I have one of each I’m worried there will be fierce competition and emotions all ar ound if they find our first, so I am feeling like this one may be a surprise in order to mitigate that! I think they’ll be happy no matter what baby is once it’s here.
    How are you guys all feeling about that?
    Nice to meet you all!! So glad I’m not he only one in this boat :)
    - JillB

  • @Knottieb1e39a78370bdee2m ... the shock is taking its time to wear off for me too! Lol

    so I was so shocked that I had my 5 year old tell my husband (which may not have been smart bc now he knows of course..) but he has said no more babies and I sat him down and told him I had very special news and that there was a baby in my belly. Even though he sai he doesn’t want another baby his eyes lit up and he was just shocked and sweetly excited. Then he ran and told his dad. Now my plan is to just keep is minimal until later in the pregnancy and talk about how much fun it will be :) lol

    i have two boys and I am not finding out... so they will find out when we do. They want another boy (and secretly I do too.. not that I wouldn’t love a daughter but anyway...) 

    so today is my bday.. and I am on a business trip and my boys just sent me a happy birthday video (flying home today) and it was precious and I just am trying to think about how much sweeter it will be with three. I’m getting there... (not entirely lol) but progress

  • Add me! I'm 35 pregnant with my 3rd. I have a 3.5 and 6 yo. I feel allll the same feels!! I'm scared shitless and don't remember anything about babies . And I feel too old for this not going to lie. (I hope that doesn't offend anyone - I just feel like I can't handle what I currently have going on and get nervous about what I'm doing)
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  • omg i love these!! keep them coming!! 2 posts up, i am SO happy to hear your little guy was happy even tho he said before no more babies - my 2 said that too!!! i so hope they take the news the same way!! yay older moms of older kiddos - i can’t stop thinking abt what great caretakers they’ll be and how much they’ll remember of this baby at such young ages and how special that will be for all 3 of them as they grow up!! my heart is full :):) 
  • I also DEF feel to old for this LOL i remember sleepless nights w my last one - 5 yrs ago!! - thinking “this is going to kill me” - lol what have I done?! 
  • Me too!! I have a 3 and 6 year old and am 18 weeks along with  baby #3 who was a total surprise.  I am 36 and have felt a lot more  nervous during this pregnancy, both about the pregnancy and life with 3.  I often tell my dh that i feel like I’m too old for this!
  • I’m having the same feelings. I’ve been very content with life and am feeling sad and excited and worried about this baby. I know we will settle in, but to think about raising a baby again is really scary! The risks are something I’m worried about too.
  • Jmo30Jmo30 member
    edited March 2018
    Glad I’m not the only one feeling not as excited and a little nervous this time. This will be our 3rd. Our two daughters are 12 and 4 and all our Bdays are in October! Not planned at all, and now another October baby! 4 October Birthdays buy I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m worried how our oldest will take the news. Glad to be able to vent a little since these feeling have been weighing on me for a few weeks.
  • You're not alone! I have three boys ages 13, 9 and 6. I am now pregnant again. I am slightly terrified. My kids are old enough to dress themselves and we are in a good space. I feel like I'm almost in denial. I know everything will be just fine but WHEW this threw me for a loop. Hang in there mama!
  • Guys. I am 42 and 10 weeks. All anyone ever says to me is aren’t you worried? Of course I am! I’m going bonkers! But what can I do? I try to remind myself that my sister had 2 babies in her 40s and they are fine. I feel like I am holding my breath until I get the testing done. 
  • #3 for me too and I am a hot mess of nerves. 
  • I know this is an old thread but i admit i'm a little nervous because of my age.  I'm 36, going to be 37 this I'll be 37 when I deliver in January 2019...which means that year i'm turning 38!!  My DD just turned 3 years old...I'm excited yet nervous...But i live in NYC....and apparently this is a normal age!!
  • This is my third pregnancy as well. Im 38 (33 & 35 with other two). I wouldnt worry about the age being a factor but ive noticed im more emotional, moody, and just blue more this pregnancy than with the others.   
  • baby3obbaby3ob member
    edited January 2019
  • scipiorxscipiorx member
    edited January 2019
    Thank you! Thank you! I’m only about 7 weeks along. My other children will be almost 6 & 8 and I’ll be 39 when #3 arrives. I’m excited but I’m super nervous. My symptoms don’t match my other pregnancies. The only real symptom I’m having is cramping, which is a scary symptom. I suppose I’m also a little fatigued but then again, nerves can wear you down too. My first appointment is until another 10 days. 
  • Nervous here too.  42, and planned, currently 5w.  I have 2 from my previous marriage, ages 10 and 13. Both have said they want a sibling.  Nervous bc I had a MC 2 months ago.  Nervous about being able to afford daycare, and support my kids’ schoolwork and sports and maintain my own identity (I lost it when my 2 were little), and, and, and...

    This is my fiance’s first child, so he’s super excited.  He has no idea what we’re in for.  Ignorance is bliss 😁.
  • I am 36 and found out on Monday that I am pregnant with my 3rd child. I found out 2 weeks before my appointment to get my tubes tied. Needless to say, I am FREAKING OUT. The day i found out i spent that day and the next day bawling....just so upset. I feel like my life has been turned upside down and this was NOT our plan. We currently have a 6 year old boy and an almost 3 year old girl - both have their own bedrooms, Since the dust has settled a little I am wracking my brain with how to handle this situation. For starters, we have no more bedroom to fit any more kids. Our house has 3 bedrooms and yes I know kids can share rooms, however our bedroom are already small as it is - barely fits 1 bed let alone two. Plus I dont see how a baby can stay in a room with a 6 almost 7 year old and an almost 4 year old.... I thought about having my older 2 kids share but my son already likes privacy when changing etc. 

    Id LOVE to move into a larger house BUT i am not sure thats an option we can afford honestly.

    Besides this problem of the bedrooms, I am just overwhelmed with so many thoughts and honestly freaking out daily. I am upset I have to start over from newborn stage.  Im upset that even tho my car will fit 3 carseats it will be cramped for sure.

    I often have the kids on my own, dont get me started on the dad not helping topic, so I am worried how will I function with 3 kids now! I work from home and its been an impossible struggle to work with 2 little kids home constantly, which has brought my income down, so I only imagine with 3 kids it will be worse.  My 2 kids I have now are VERY needy - and are in constant competition with who gets my attention ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.  How will I add a 3rd?!?!?!  

    My marriage and sanity almost fell apart after my 2nd child, from major mood swings during pregnany and post partum depression that lasted almost 2 years.  I cant even begin to think about that again.

    As you can see I am spiraling and any advice from anyone on any of this would be amazing or any kind words. I just need someone to talk to as my husband is the type that says things like " dont worry, itll all work out" an OCD planner!😭😭😭😭😭

    I've spent the past 2 days trying to read online and get excited but I feel like I'm just on auto pilot
  • Terrified.  This was not planned and I can hardly even think about it before I feel like I'm being crushed by anxiety.  My poor husband is freaking out. I can hardly be in the same room with him right now because I am too overwhelmed for his emotions on top of my own.  This feels so much scarier than my earlier pregnancies!  I haven't even told anyone yet because it is super early.  This board may just save my sanity.
  • 313Meg313Meg member
    Hi! Just found out I’m pregnant with #3. I have 2 boys, 5&7. 
    Although we had been trying for over a year, it felt sudden and it’s hitting me in a whole new way. I was so ready, but now that I’m literally pregnant I am freaking a bit. I don’t have any baby things anymore. I’m losing what freedom I have just gained. Starting all over. It’s definitely rocking me a bit! 
    I would just have a glass of wine and tell myself to calm down. But clearly that’s not an option now 🤣. 
    You are not alone!!
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