Introducing myself (loss mentioned)

chox64

My therapist suggested I join a TTC support group. A little about me, I am 31 years old I tried a cycle of IVF in October, I had to cancel that cycle before my embryo transfer because my progesterone spiked early. I was able to get two embryos. I just had a FET this December and found out today that my beta was negative. I'm starting round two of my FET in January. 

Right now only my parents, in-laws, sister, brother and a very few close friends know I'm doing this. It has been really hard to talk about this to other family members and other friends. The reason being is that I'm actually widowed and the sperm I'm using is from my late SO and not everyone has been supportive of my decision. I've been called a lot of things and told that I'm making a huge mistake, without them knowing all the facts. So for awhile I just kind of shut most people out, but with this recent negative I've been needing more support than the few people who know can give. They are very supportive and amazing but it is hard because they aren't going through the process. I am trying to stay hopefully that this next FET cycle will be successful. 

If anyone has any advice on how to have a more successful FET cycle I would love to hear it. 

emmasemm

@chox64 Welcome, though I’m sorry you need to be here and so sorry for you’re loss. I can only imagine how hard it is for you.

Many people don’t know how to respond to IVF normally and we all receive insensitive comments, unwanted useless advice (like just relax...) and find people who think it’s in-natural. But in the end it’s your decision - and I hope at least the close people you shared with support you.

On this board you will find monthly groups for most topics - so feel free to jump into the January or February FET boards. There you will find lots of ladies going through things at the same time to ask questions and support each other.

You will find other ladies who are not on their first FET, also if you look in the monthly IVF groups you will find some good transfer tips too. 

If its your last embryo, maybe you might want to ask your RE for an ERA first before your next transfer? (Maybe depending if you have more frozen sperm left or not)

[Deleted User]

Welcome!  I am in my second TWW after our first FET ended in a cp.  I'm so sorry that your first transfer didn't work out.  While our situation is different (my H had no sperm in samples and we had to go in surgically to find it) most of our family does not know because we aren't super interested in their opinion about our treatment choices.  It's incredibly personal, and fwiw, it sounds like a beautiful tribute to your late partner, and I hope it works out for you! (((Hugs)))

chox64

@emmasemm Thank you so much! I'll check out the January 2018 post. I've never heard of ERA but I will definitely ask my RE about it! I do have some sperm still in storage but it is still something I am worried about using up. If possible I would ideal like to have two kids so I am trying very hard to use as little as possible. My RE has been really good about that too thank god. 

@BusinessWife I hope your test comes back positive! I understand not telling family... it is amazing how insensitive people are about this whole type of situation. 

rachelbeth130

So sorry for everything you've been through, but welcome to the group. I have recently joined as well and find the people here are incredibly supportive and helpful. I will be starting prep for my 6th fet in just a few days, so I've tried a lot of different things since first starting out. Like someone else mentioned, the era test can be very beneficial. I had 2 failed FETs before my doctor suggested it and it turned out we were transferring too early. May be worth looking into so you don't waste your last embryo.  Best of luck with everything and feel free to ask questions if you have any!

chox64

Thank you so much. I am definitely going to talk to my RE about the era test to be sure they are doing the transfer at the right time. 

cseley321

Reporting biotex...