hey community, first time mom here so I need some opinions on how to deal with my bfs overbearing mother and sister! I had a feeling from the beginning that things may be trouble when the 2 of them completely decided to take over the baby shower, it was a very beautiful shower, so I don't want to seem ungrateful, but they never even asked my mom to help. I'm my mom's only daughter and this is her first grandbaby, she was very hurt that she was not included in the shower and I cannot blame her I would have been pissed if that happened to me! So, despite this early incident I stayed extremely optimistic, but there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
The day we came home from the hospital, his mom, stepdad, sister, brother-in-law and his 2 nephews were at our house not even 10 minutes after we got home. Like, I just gave birth! Our cat had not even met the little babe yet! Every time mil would come, she would bring gifts (again, not ungrateful) that we 1) already had, or 2) clothes that we really didn't need. She never asked how I felt, what I needed etc. I'm not an "it's all about me" girl, but I did just birth your granddaughter... instead, she comes over and speaks to my bf in Spanish the whole time and I have no idea what's being said.
Christmas eve just really floored me tho, bringing me to ask for advice. Every year we go to his family's side home for (an adult) Christmas party. We were out until 12:30am, which I was already unhappy about, but bf said that we can make this exception, whatever. But the little babe was overtired when we arrived at 9pm and I had just walked in and was going to put her in the body carrier so she could fall asleep when my mil goes "vente", like give me her and begun basically showing her off, but my little cranky babe was not having it so I was given her right back. Then when we were getting ready to leave, bf's sister had her, she thought I was going to nurse her, but when i said we were leaving she's like "oh, I'll bring her upstairs!". Who tf snatches your own child out of your hands as soon as you walk in and who refuses to give her back?!
I'm really getting sick of this. I feel like I get zero consideration as the mother. Any one have any advice or suggestions on how to deal? I already have loosely brought it up to my bf and he just defended his family. I'm getting less and less excited to see his family and I've always enjoyed them and spending time with them. HELP!