PGAL Check In w/o 12/22

offtoneverland

Hope it's okay if I start this today; we're a few days behind and I figured a lot of us might need it.

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled craziness that is pregnancy!

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

4. When is your next appointment? 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge)

offtoneverland

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  4w1d -- in my last pregnancy I started spotting on 12dp; now I'm 15dpo with no spotting in sight so I'm feeling pretty hopeful!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? I'm feeling pretty good. Maybe a couple minor pregnancy symptoms but I feel like they must be in my head since it's still pretty early. Mainly feeling really hungry and thirsty, and a bit tired.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Better than I thought I would be! As I said above, I'm starting to feel pretty hopeful since I haven't had any spotting or cramping yet. 

4. When is your next appointment? Not sure. I called the OB's office yesterday and they said they had zero appointments until February because they're so slammed right now. They said the nurse would call me back yesterday to try to fit me in but I never heard back. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I'm currently visiting my parents in Florida and I'm having a wonderful time relaxing and being off of work. I think that's helping me not focus too much on whatever's going to happen with this pregnancy. I really wanted to get my HCG checked so I emailed my OB to ask if they could by chance send some lab work for me to a lab in Florida, but I never heard back. Oh well! Just trying to take it one step at a time. I'll for sure get some blood work when I return to Maryland. 

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? Pointy Toes Von Pretzel 

jchpg

@offtoneverland great news you passed your last loss- that was a big step for me this pg too. I hope you’ll be able to get in to your OB soon. If they are so crazy- do you have an option to see another doctor? It might be nice to know they are more abilible if you need them...

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  7wk6d. I’ve offically passed my loss. Everyday is a win now.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Just OK, constant nausea, crazy sore breasts, exhaustion and I feel full sooo fast when I eat. Every time I tell DH I feel sick, he responds “that’s great!” I guess we’re both trying to stay positive!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Ish. I’m happy my first US was good and I’m glad I have another in he new year... but I’m constabtly thinking something will go wrong. I just wish I could enjoy this.

4. When is your next appointment? January 9th- I can’t wait! 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  just a few more minutes and I’m outta here! Officially start to the Holidays and vaccation through the 3rd!!!

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge

Shimmer McMittins! 

pghctwife

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  7w1 and sort of yes. My first loss was 9w but a missed mc right after my 7w scan. Second also happened around 7w (learned at 8). 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) pretty bad. I’ve been gagging most mornings from ms and threw up a few times (incl today... triggered by watching my 4yo puke). I’m thankful that I don’t have the exhaustion I had the last 2, bc it’s debilitating. I had ms during my losses too, but not as bad and just different.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise). I’m ok. Christmas has been a really good distraction. I think after Xmas before my us will be hard.

4. When is your next appointment? Ultrasound thurs the 28th

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)   

Tired but can’t stomach coffee ughhhh

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge) Kringle St. Candy Cane

offtoneverland

@jchpg My OB office has a separate location that's close to my work, so I'll probably ask if I can be seen there instead if that's less busy. So exciting that you passed your milestone with your last loss. That's wonderful! The anxiety is so hard. I hope that after your next ultrasound you'll be able to enjoy the pregnancy a little more.
@pghctwife I agree that Christmas is a great distraction. It sounds like your symptoms are promising so I hope it's a good sign. 

pghctwife

Yeah... this pregnancy is actually flying by and I know being pgal it shouldn’t be. This summer when I was also pgal it was so slow and the anxiety was insane. I hope the mental state helps too, it is a good sign... something. 

kindbytealikat

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 6.1 today...Making week 6 with no bleeding is a milestone for me. My loss wasn't confirmed until 7 weeks, but I pretty sure I know the moment it happened. I was 5.4 and started bleeding the next day.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Not great but not horrible. Nauseated and bad indigestion, especially in the evenings. I'm tried but I'm always tired and since getting KTFU I have had the worst time trying to sleep. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  I freaked out earlier this week because I had been having pretty consistent symptoms and then they stopped completely for two days, which is how things started last time. Got an order for and HCG from my OB and that day my symptoms came back. I never thought I'd be so happy to be nauseated.

4. When is your next appointment? I had another HCG today. I don't actually see the doctor until the 4th though, and will get my dating scan that day. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  I think I already DD'd enough 

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge) I'm cookie maple

hezzer78

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  5w5d - Not yet. Both of my previous pregnancies stopped growing at 6w6d, so I guess if I can make it to next Sunday I'll feel good.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)  Really tired. Mild boob pain and very mild queasiness - nothing terrible, just a general 'off' feeling in the morning. I kind of thought maybe it was all in my head, but maybe not. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Every day is better, I think. We had an U/S on Wed, but it was too early to see hearbeat. I learned see the HB doesn't really mean anything, but itll make me feel slightly better.

4. When is your next appointment? Friday, 12/29 - going to have a follow up US to see if there's a hb. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) : Nothing really. We debated telling my parents at Christmas, but with no hb yet, we are very hesitant. 

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge)  Twinkle-Nose McMittens!

junabugtunabug

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  Idk I guess 5 weeks. I found out at 7dpo, so I feel like I should be farther along. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) tired, nauseous, irritable. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise). Actually ok today. 

4. When is your next appointment? Jan 10th, I wish I knew what they are going to do at the appointment. It's a different practice than before. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  my friend moved today and wants me to come visit but I work until 8p and have to be back at work at 7a and I need to go to the grocery store. 

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? Pudding McMittens

leahcimmichael

@offtoneverland I hate that the OB’s Office didn’t call you back. Even if they didn’t have an appointment available, they should’ve followed through on letting you know. I left my last OB because the office staff wasn’t responsive. Hopefully they shape up or you find an office that meets your needs.

@jchpg Lol! My husband does the same thing everytime I tell him about a symptom. It’s like, “yay! You’re miserable!” 

@pghctwife I’m having that same feeling. This month has been flying by! I’m worried that after the holidays it will slow to a crawl and feel unbearable.

@kindbytealikat So glad you passed your loss milestone! And that you’re symptoms came back. Yay! You’re miserable! 

@hezzer78 Glad you got to see your bean! We didn’t see a heartbeat at our 5w4d scan, but by the 6w4d scan it was very obvious. Your bean is gonna grow so much by next Friday! I feel ya on not wanting to tell family until you see the HB. I’m still reluctant to tell because it feels so early and uncertain still. 

@junabugtunabug Hopefully your friend understands! I had to cancel plans this evening that I made before I got KU. But 5 hours of driving after work on a Friday just isn’t possible right now with this fatigue. It feels awful letting friends down, but we have to take care of ourselves in order to take care of our babies. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  7w6d today. 8w was when I had my MC, so as of Sunday this pregnancy will be further along. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Not awful. Fatigue has been pretty intense, but I’m not becoming narcoleptic. Some food aversions and mild queasiness, but no gagging or vomiting. Sore boobs like woah! But I went and bought a new bra in the right size and that seems to be helping. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Ok as long as I don’t think too hard. Luckily Christmas is keeping me busy. 

4. When is your next appointment? 12/27 for my weekly US.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  Rant: I told DH that we could see his family on Christmas Eve OR Christmas Day, but that since I’ve been so fatigued and busy I really need a day at home in my pajamas. Since he told his mom that we’ll only be there Christmas Eve she’s been trying to make him feel guilty. Granted she doesn’t know we’re pregnant, but still. Let us come visit when and for how long we’re comfortable. I feel like every holiday becomes this tug of war.

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge Pointy-Toes Maple. This would also be a good elf name. 

pghctwife

@leahcimmichael I agree. I hope it won’t be too bad. If I make it though my u/s I hope it will help me relax a little, and then my first tri blood work will hit with the baby’s sex and then second tri so I hope it won’t be too bad. Plus I’m starting back at work 2 days a week in jan so hoping that all help pull me to January,

but post holidays winter ia the worst, so slow. I was worried if I wasn’t pg this cycle I’d be testing around Xmas and then first tri alllll winter

juliebleu

Hiya! I’m new here but decided to stop lurking and join in.

@offtoneverland you can order you own hcg test yourself. Have you checked out walkinlabs.com ? It is self pay, though.

@jchpg we are appointment buddies! Fingers crossed we both get good news.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

• 7 weeks today. I feel like that is an accomplishment. My mc was at 12-13 weeks so not past that yet, but more than half way there.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

• nausea and hunger and fatigue... sore boobs and cramps, too. Overall: very pregnant.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

• really good. I have been lucky to be super zen this pregnancy. I have taken a very what will happen will happen, approach and have just been trying not to think about the future. Holidays def help keep me in the moment.

4. When is your next appointment? 

• January 9th for my first prenatal and a dating ultrasound. I am beyond excited.

5. Rants/raves/whatever

• pass this week

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name

Snowman St. Candy Cane

tops-2

Hey everyone

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 
4wks 5days. Time is passing VERY slowly. No milestones...

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
Still just having nausea on and off, plus thirsty, tiredness and hot flashes. Another interesting one that popped u this week though is an aversion to meat. I couldn't even look at meat at the shops and even ordered just vegetables and chips when out for dinner the other night. I think our little foetus may be vegetarian haha

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
Ups and downs... I just want to get to the ultrasound and (hopefully) get some good news to help me relax a little (15 days to go now!)

4. When is your next appointment?
Whoops - said this above. It's at 9am on 8th of January

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) 
Not much to rant about this week - I have 10 days off work and get to spend time with family, the hubby and my pets

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge)
Tinsel-cheeks Arctic Puffin - that's a long name haha almost as long as my real name :S

melprop

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 7+2, and I’m past my mc dates. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I feel like crap. I never had many symptoms with DS and never got far enough to have symptoms with the two MC’s. This time nausea is horrible. My boobs are so sore I can barely touch them, and I’ve gone up a cup size. I can only do so much before I have to lay down for awhile, but I’m having trouble sleeping at night. My ab muscles are sore too - not cramping but a constant, dull muscle ache. 

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I’m pretty good now. I’ll feel much better after my first appt on 1/3. 

4. When is your next appointment? 1/3

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) DH finds my pg symptoms humorous since I never had most of them with DS. He wants to be all touchy-feely, whereas I want to punch him in the face.

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge) Kringle Snickerdoodle

offtoneverland

@kindbytealikat Yay for no bleeding yet! Did you get your HCG results back yet? Are your levels looking good?
@leahcimmichael My OB office called me back yesterday, so that was good. The downside is though that my first appointment isn't until February 7th.  I've been going to this office for several years and it's always been really great, but if they don't seem to be keeping up their game anymore, I'll look into switching. Yay for your ultrasound on the 27th! 
@juliebleu I've never heard of walk in labs. I'll look into that! I did call Quest lab (where I typically get my bloodwork done) and they said I couldn't get any bloodwork without a doctor's order. I love your super zen approach this pregnancy. I've been telling myself the same thing: "Whatever happens, happens." It helps me not worry quite as much.
@tops-2 I hope these 15 days before your ultrasound go by quickly! Enjoy the 10 days off of work with your family. Do you have any fun plans?
@melprop That's great that your past your previous MC dates and having lots of symptoms. Sorry you're feeling sick but it sounds like it's a good sign!

pghctwife

@juliebleu I feel like I could have written your anxiety section verbatim, down. To the word ‘zen’ (which is what my midwife said when I told her I was pg). I totally feel like whatever will be already is. 

I think we are due close together too (8/9). Fx!!!

coffeecocktailsandcake

@leahcimmichael, you're doing weekly USs? Is it because of previous losses?

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  7 weeks 7 days.  No milestones but after this next week I'll have made it further than my miscarriage.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) nausea all day every day.  Oh great, my toddler just successfully opened the backdoor by himself.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Not a lot of anxiety, but I think I'm depressed.  I struggled with PPD with my son and stopped medication after my mc to ensure I was giving this next pregnancy the best shot I could.  My lack of energy is contributing to my lack of interest in anything, or vice versa.

4. When is your next appointment? 

The first week of January.  I'm looking forward to hearing a heartbeat again.

kindbytealikat

@offtoneverland Thank you for asking, I got Fridays results in the afternoon and it doubled nicely. Which I was happy to see because Wednesdays numbers weren't as high as I was expecting so it made me nervous. My OB was saying though that the should double every 48H or so but even that is just an approximation so she wasn't concerned with Wednesday's number at all but was willing to do one Friday if I wanted. She said I could get another next week if I wanted but at this point I'm going to wait it out until my appointment on the 4th. I'm frankly tired of getting stuck and with the holidays I want to take it easy next week. 

juliebleu

@offtoneverland the laws do vary by state. Walk in labs is just one site online where you can buy your own labs. They do come in with a doctors name and signature on them but- again- laws vary by state. I like walk in labs cause they list what states will take their orders and which not. 

junabugtunabug

juliebleu said:

@offtoneverland the laws do vary by state. Walk in labs is just one site online where you can buy your own labs. They do come in with a doctors name and signature on them but- again- laws vary by state. I like walk in labs cause they list what states will take their orders and which not. 

 I used them last month with my chemical and it was super simple. They'll even fax the order over to the lab if you call them. 

leahcimmichael

@coffeecocktailsandcake Yea, I had a couple of losses so I started seeing a RE. His protocol is weekly ultrasounds for the first 12 weeks. My anxiety is a fan of this plan.
Im sorry to hear that you’re struggling with depression right now. Hormones can definitely contribute, so I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that as your pregnancy goes on and hormones calm down that your depression will recede too. Do you have a therapist you see that can help get you through until you can start medications again?

lizziealyssa

. How far along are you? Any milestones?  5w4d

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) tired

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  I like what y'all are saying-whatever happens happens. It's true. But I think for the first trimester I'll still be stuck between excited and terrified. Until I get past the 2 dates I've miscarried before at 6 weeks and almost 12 weeks it wI'll be hard to rest easy. I'm so happy for the ladies that have already passed their mc milestone!

4. When is your next appointment? Jan 4th. Doc put me on progesterone just in case so hopefully that helps.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  The first baby I lost was at 12 weeks. I had announced it after my sister announced her pregnancy due around the same time. So exciting! But since I lost that baby her now 5 month old is a reminder of what could have been for us too. I'm happy for my sister and her baby is precious  (haven't met her yet because we live overseas) but it's still hard. 

SmashJam

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  9 +4; 1 year milestone since my daughter was born and passed are done. It didn't kill me!Throughout the whole grief recovery process,  I am continually amazed by what I can make it through (not a challenge, God).

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Better-today almost not pregnant. I had two days where I could drink coffee in the am and then went right back to not wanting it. And I couldn't eat my biscuits and gravy this morning! That happened to me with DS, totally had an aversion to creamed chipped beef on toast and b&g.  #itsaboy

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  I am doing well anxiety wise, and Ilike how @juliebleu said it I am trying to be zen and what happens happens. I can't do anything about it. 

4. When is your next appointment? this thursday! Finally. They are gonna try to hear the hearbeat, so FX they are successful (just because I don't think I have had someone find it this early).  And then hopefully schedule my first ultrasound for the genetic testing. 

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  people who know about the pregnancy are bringing me down. I was telling DH this week that it sucks that people aren't happy about this pregnancy they are nervous, and it takes over their excitement. DH even made a joke about working on another next xmas when his mom said I could drink then and she didn't even laugh. It's like the loss has also affected their ability to believe this pregnancy is going to end with a baby. She is also second guessing my choice to do a birth center again, not a big fancy hospital, even though this birth center is a 6 minute ambulance ride from the fancy hospital with a NICU (versus the 12 hours and 2 hospitals that my daugher went through). I think something she doesn't know is that there is nothing that could have been done in our situation. When my daughter was born, she had to go to another state eventually to get on a machine to prep her for heart surgery. Even the hospital within the state, which is where I will be if anything goes south, was unable to do anything for her. The disease she had had resulted in the death of all three babies that presented with it at the children's hospital she died in. The hospital made no difference in this case, it was an inevitebility. I just hope at some point she can be excited, maybe once the fetal echo is done. 

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge)

NAP1029

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

7 weeks and some change. No milestones until after 10 weeks mark; then I’ll be past our 2 previous MMCs. That said, today’s emergency ultrasound revealed a baby and a strong heartbeat—but also a sinister looking bleed which is apparently the culprit of my Christmas Day spotting. I’m so grateful to be here and to know that my baby’s ok so far because I was imagining the worst over the past 24 hours. But I’m scared as hell because my MMCs had bleeds too. Trying to stay positive.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

Intermittent nausea. Boobs sore but maybe less than in weeks past? Or maybe that’s anxiety. A little crampy—probably because of the bleed

NAP1029

OMG why do I always get cut off?!?!

kburg15

How far along are you? Any milestones?  5w2d

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? So tired

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? My anxiety is currently through the roof. I’ve had two losses since July, with the most recent in November. I hadn’t had a period between that loss and this pregnancy, so my due date is an estimate. I also just got a call from the midwife today that I have mthfr and pai-1 mutations, so I have to be in baby aspirin, heparin, and additional folate supplements. Hopefully they caught this soon enough that this pregnancy will remain viable—last week I had great betas, but that was a week ago...

4. When is your next appointment? Jan 16 and it’s just a phone/paperwork appt then they’ll schedule my first exam at that point  

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): ugh, I raced a lot up above. I need this anxiety and all of January to pass quickly. 

pghctwife

Ahhhh my u/s is this afternoon, feeling soooo anxious and worried. After bad u/s in the past... ugh. So much dread.

juliebird6

I'm a lurker here, but @pghctwife good luck! FX for a happy and healthy appointment today.

hezzer78

@pghctwife Good luck today! Keep us updated..

ecwk

*lurking lurker* 

@pghctwife thinking of you and good luck with the appointment today!!! 

kindbytealikat

@pghctwife Good Luck with u/s please keep us UTD! Hugs and prayers 

pghctwife

Healthy normal perfect 

166 hr and 8w1. Same tech as last time who was so kind and she was teary while I was crying

both my losses the baby died before this point. 

shri929

@pghctwife I can totally relate, ive realized I have SERIOUS ultrasound anxiety. So glad yours went well!

juliebleu

@pghctwife yay!!! Congrats.

mac627

@pghctwife I had the exact same feeling before my u/s. So glad you got to hear the heartbeat. It’s the best!!

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  8 weeks and sort of. Last time I had my first u/s at 9 weeks and it was a missed mc. There was basically only a sac. So I haven’t gotten to 9 weeks yet but I have had 3 u/s already thanks to my RE and have heard the heartbeat twice! This was a big deal for me and now that we’ve gotten past that hurdle I feel better. 

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Nauseous, starving constantly, tired  

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I’m doing ok after hearing the heartbeat. Weekly u/s definitely help! Most of the time I’m mixed emotions between excited and nervous.

4. When is your next appointment? Jan 4

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I was just scrolling through Pinterest when I saw a post called “how to get pregnant on the first try.” After struggling with IF, a mc, and finally doing IVF, I hate seeing stuff like this! Grr. 

NAP1029

@pghctwife all smiles over here

pghctwife

Thanks!!! I can’t believe it. I was preparing myself for the worst... I couldn’t eat anything all day from nerves. Once we saw the baby was ok, I suddenly was famished ha! 

rkcf

hi everyone.  I just wanted to share that I had my doctor's appointment today to confirm whether I was already pregnant again after my loss last month.  well, the nurse came back and said my pregnancy test was negative, but then the doctor came in and said it was negative but turned positive after a few minutes.  so they had me draw some blood and scheduled an ultrasound for tomorrow.  my beta test came back and my levels are at 120.1  so I am still in limbo as to whether I am truly pregnant or my levels haven't gone down since the d and c.  I guess this is why they say to use to protection until after the first period.  at least I would not have these questions going around in my head.  I just needed to get this off my chest.  This concludes my rant for the week.

juliebleu

@rkcf I’m sorry you are in limbo. Hopefully tomorrow will give you some answers.

jlo629

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  According to last period 8w1d, according to O 7w0d, according to my US on 12/26 6w2d.  No heartbeat yet but a fetus which is better!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) nauseous, bloated, and exhausted.  Basically like a hangover that never goes away!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  US did not go great as I am measuring behind but they saw a fetus which is better than my last 2 MCs.

4. When is your next appointment? 1/10 for another early viability US.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  I just keep praying this baby sticks but it is so stinking hard to be optimistic because I worry I will just end up heartbroken again!

6. GTKY: What's your reindeer name? (Pic in spoiler because it's huge) Shimmer Bon Bon!

rkcf

unfortunately my appointment did not clear up my questions.  I went for an ultrasound on Saturday and the radiologist came back and said I have a yolk sac, which is not usually seen until the 5th week and when beta levels ae higher.  so they think it is left over from my d and c in November.  I didn't have any  bleeding after the d and c and was wondering if that was normal.  I had no pain or discomfort.  I asked the doctor if she was able to get everything out and she said yes, pathology confirmed that the tissue was products of conception.  but the radiologist this weekend said my ultrasound looked the same as it did in November.  they only thing she could tell is that there was a sac and I should talk to my doctor about what to do next.  so I continue to be in limbo and am wondering if I could have had another pregnancy that is starting to miscarry now because my levels are so low. i'm just praying and hoping for a miracle to come along and completely confound us.