August 2018 Moms

*TW* Not this time...

Tuesday afternoon I began spotting.  By the time the evening rolled around, I was bleeding steadily and cramping.  There wasn't any question in my mind what was happening.  Blood tests confirmed that my hormone levels were way lower than they should have been, meaning I likely lost this pregnancy a while ago. 

I'm crushed.  For those of you who may have read my earlier posts on the board, you know that this pregnancy (our third) was unexpected.  Both DH and I were initially shocked and conflicted.  However, it didn't take long for me to start imagining a third baby.  I allowed myself to start thinking about names and to get excited about the changes a new baby would bring.  Plus, in the past 2 weeks, we've found out about 3 cousins who are also pregnant.  It was kind of exciting to imagine being a part of the family baby boom.  

This has been a roller coaster.  We haven't started to talk about what we will do in the future or whether we will actively try for a third baby down the road.  I still don't know where DH stands on that issue.  For now, I'm going to focus on getting through the holidays.  

Wishing you all healthy pregnancies.  I'm sorry that I won't be along for the journey.  Good luck!

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