July 2018 Moms

Pregnant After Loss (PGAL) Week of 12/17

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  


2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 


3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  


4. When is your next appointment? 


5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?

Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe?

Re: Pregnant After Loss (PGAL) Week of 12/17

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  8 +3 Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. This Thursday is the day we took her off life support. Lots of emotions this week.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Gross. Nauseous pretty much all the time, nothing tastes good, still can't drink coffee during the morning which gives me headaches midday. Ugh.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Ok. I am starting to get excited, which is inevitable. There is nothing I can do to change the ultrasound date and nothing I can do if there is something wrong with the little nugget, so tryng to be calm.


    4. When is your next appointment? 12/28


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) 

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time? FINALLY reading Book of Dust. Pretty excited. Finished reading the entire His Dark Materials series before getting to this one, and they were every bit as good as I remember them. 

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe? Marvel. The movies are better and all tie in, and the Daredevil/Punisher/Luke Cage/Jessica Jones/Iron FIst/Defenders universe is one of my faves. I do watch the DC ones too, but they just aren't as good.

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  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    Almost 12 weeks! 11w 4d


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    I thought I was better, no MS for a week, but it's come back and I was throwing up last night. Otherwise I am feeling sore and huge and loose in my joints. 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    I'm really looking forward to being far enough along to feel the baby. I'd been feeling great since seeing the baby at 8 and 10 weeks and seeing it happy and waving, but now that I've come out to everyone that I'm pregnant and we're about to tell the world what we're having, I'm anxious again. I can't wait to be able to track movement and just know my kid is okay in there.


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    End of the month. 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

    I feel like this baby isn't getting the best of me. I felt so connected to my daughter as soon as I knew she was in there; having a loss I didn't feel anything but anxious until I saw the baby at 8 weeks. Now I know what we're having (still a secret until we reveal to our daughter!) and I was SO SURE I was having the other sex, all I felt was disappointment at first. Now it feels better, and I'm working towards excitement, but I feel so bad for this kid that it's not getting the best of my feelings right now. I know it'll never know, but I know, and it makes me sad.

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?

    Re-reading The Hate You Give, and going through Matilda with my kiddo. Favorite of all time is Rebecca by Daphne deMeurier

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe?

    Both! I grew up collecting X-Men cards and watching the 1960's era Batman and 70's Wonder Woman. Superman after Christopher Reeve sucks though. 

  • @christycalifornia I think its totally normal to have those sad feelings at the sex not being what you expected, so go easy on yourself! I had plenty of friends who had that experience at first and came out of it eventually, I'm sure you'll get to full on excited soon! 

    Also Matilda might be one of my faves. I related to Matilda as a kid-although I was no child prodigy-but I loved books so so much so we had that in common.
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones? - 9w5d today


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) - pretty good still, bloated and gassy but the nausea is mostly gone. Still tired a lot but getting a bit better.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  
    - anxious to get my ultrasound tomorrow. I think I'll feel pretty comfortable once I see a heartbeat again.


    4. When is your next appointment? - 
    ultrasound tomorrow


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) - I discovered the yummiest pickles ever yesterday and are waaaay too many. No regrets lol

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time? - not reading anything at the moment...I need something new!

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe? - Marvel!


    Thinking of you this week @SmashJam, take care of yourself. 

    run along Pond...2015/12/10

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • @comealongponds thanks so much! Saturday was better than I thought it would be. We'll see how Thursday goes. 
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    11w1d. Past my earlier miscarriage milestones of 6 weeks, 7 weeks, and also a couple of chemicals.
    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    A little better, I think--less nausea, though it still visits in the evening. Of course last week when I thought my symptoms were going away they ultimately didn't. I have a pretty bad cold now which is making me semi-miserable.
    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    Calmer, though I think I'll feel better once I have my NT scan at 13 weeks and also the NIPT results, which may come as early as the end of this week, but will more likely be sometime next week.
    4. When is your next appointment? 

    Appointment today went well, though my OB/GYN let me know that she's pregnant, too, and will be on maternity leave during a few months of my care. Next appointment for the NT scan is Jan. 4th.
    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

    Loving learning vicariously through the STMs!

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?

    Currently reading Pachinko by Min Jin Lee. Too hard to pick a favorite book!


    Good luck, Thursday, @SmashJam! And good luck tomorrow, @comealongponds!

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    11 weeks 5 days

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

    Really good today.  I have been able to eat some healthy food over the last few days (thank you food aversions for finally bowing out) and it's making me feel great.  Nice change from the steady diet of pizza and potato based food items I have been living on for the last 4 weeks. 

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    Ok.  We sent out Christmas Cards announcing our pregnancy to close friends and family, so I am a little nervous about that since we have only seen the baby once. But other than that, ok. 


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    A week from tomorrow (day after Christmas).  We get to schedule our genetic testing and I will feel much better once that is completed I think. 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

    My husband comes home on SATURDAY!!!!!  I can't wait.  It's been a really, really long 30 days. 

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?

    I just finished reading All the Light We Cannot See (awesome!) and started a new book but I can't remember the name of it right now. My favorite book of all time is Pride and Prejudice. Oh, Mr. Darcy......

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe?

    Marvel for lyfe


    @SmashJam, thinking about you this week.  <3

    Meagan
    <3 Married 6.12.10 <3
    DS 11.8.12
     Baby GIRL! due 7.4.18
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  11 weeks 2 days


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? A little better nausea wise, but still completely exhausted! 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?
    I feel mostly okay. I went off my progesterone and estrace 1 week ago and I'm still throwing up every morning so I'm thinking he's still in there, which makes me happy.  


    4. When is your next appointment? 
    Thursday (12/21)


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) We recently announced this pregnancy to family and close friends and a couple of people who know we've gone threw hell to get here didn't even say congratulations... it annoys me probably more than it should, just seems rude. 

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time? Not currently reading anything, but I love mystery thrillers. One recent one I really liked was The Good Girl.


  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?   9 weeks! 


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)   

    Sick sick sick.  Slightly crampy which makes me nervous.  Extremely emotional.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 

    Awful :(  my ultrasound is tomorrow.  With my last loss, I went in for my sono at 10 weeks and the baby no longer had a heartbeat.  I'm terrified I'll have to go through it again tomorrow.

    4. When is your next appointment? 

    12/19


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  none

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?   I'm not reading anything right now but I'm a huge HP fan.

  • @SmashJam Me too! Terrible parents, loving books, feeling like an outsider - totally me. I'm sorry this is a hard anniversary week. I'm praying for you. 
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    10 + 4, management to not be on bedrest this time around (so far). Early loss was chemical.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Supee tired, RLP, weird BMs, sore boobs that look a bit bigger.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    Not as bad as i was with DS. It’s nice to have a Doppler to calm my anxiety when needed. 


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    Jan 3rd for NT scan. Got blood work yesterday.


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

    i need to figure out how to train DS to stay in his crib past 5. I can’t sleep with him there, but I’ll miss the cuddles. 

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?

    Don’t hate me but i don’t like to read. I’d rather sleep lol

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe? Marvel!

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    11+5, well past my EP loss


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Pretty good, hip pain and sciatica are creeping up, especially at night. I need to get more active now that my energy is coming back. 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    It's surreal to already be 11 weeks, I still forget I'm pregnant some days now that I'm feeling better but am not really showing or feeling any movement. I'm having trouble connecting with this pregnancy, I hope that'll change after the 1st tri. 


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    NT scan Thursday morning! 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?

    Haven't really had time to read since our honeymoon, I have the Zookeepers Wife started but I can't get into it. I don't know if I have a favorite book, but my favorite author is probably Mitch Albom. 

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe?

    I had to look up the difference  :D

    I guess I like Marvel best, but that's just based of the movies not the comics 

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    12 weeks!

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Feeling pretty good and more energy, thank God!
    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    After the positive ultrasound and appointment last week, I'm feeling much more relieved, almost enough to start to feel excited.  Waiting on those NIPT results though... 
    4. When is your next appointment? 

    January 9, but I'm getting bloodwork next week and I have to do the early GD testing because I'm AMA and my babies were both very large (8.15 and 9.12)


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

    Just still super nervous to tell our families.  No clue how they will take it, particularly my brother.  I love him so much, but sometimes he can be ridiculous about things, and because his fiance is pregnant, he doesn't want anyone to steal her thunder.

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time?

    I'm a big-time reader but haven't had much time in the past few weeks.  I don't know that I could pinpoint a fave right now!

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe?

    Batman is by far my most favorite superhero ever, so I guess DC; although I do love IronMan, too!  And Hulk.  And Thor.

    Met: 1/21/2005
    Married: 6/27/2008
    DS: 3/14/2010 Planned, PG first try
    M/C 6/2012
    DD: 4/22/2013 Planned, UnDx Infertility, PG on our own
    BFP: 10/28/2016 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE! 
    M/C 12/12/2016
    BFP: 10/27/2017 Unplanned, HUGE SURPRISE
    EDD: 7/2/2018


    Babysizer Manly Pregnancy Tracker
  • @adventuresawait1 "Way of Kings" is so good! (assuming you mean the Sanderson one!) The third book in that series in next on my list after I finish Book of Dust!
  • @GoldAndCurls hope your ultrasound goes fabulous today! 
  • Waiting to be called for my ultrasound. I didn't expect to be this nervous...
    run along Pond...2015/12/10

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • @smashjam thank you!!   I cried the entire drive there. I was SO NERVOUS...


    They pushed my date back a week. So July 26!  But baby gave me a little wiggle and it's heartbeat was beating away.  8w 5d now!  I feel very relieved. But still very very nervous as I've had 10 and 11 weeks losses before.  Can't wait to get to the second tri.
  • Gah! You guys. I’m freaking out. Friday had a sono and everything went well. That evening I found heart beat with my Doppler. Tried again last night and I was at “maybe but not positive” I had the heartbeat. Tried today and can’t find anything. This is the week I had lost previous pregnancy due to partial molar. Cue me freaking out that something isn’t right. I don’t want to call the OB to get an appointment because we literally did a wellness check Friday. I KNOW Doppler ate difficult and I am so early. Wish I could just sleep until next sono at 13 weeks ( currently 9.4)
  • @elizabethrn87 dopplers are so tricky! I am glad I haven't found mine from before moving yet because I might drive myself crazy! Try and hang in there. 
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  11+1. Had first ultrasound at 9 weeks and verified the baby is moving and has a heartbeat, I was freaking out so bad beforehand. Last time we went in for the ultrasound around 8 weeks, this was back in May, and there was no heartbeat.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I'm tired and not very hungry which makes me anxious. 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  
    I thought the anxiety would ease up after the ultrasound, but now I just keep thinking that something is wrong and there's no way to know until I have my next appointment and it's driving me insane. 


    4. When is your next appointment?
    Thankfully in 1 week I have my NT scan. I just pray everything is OK. 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I'm just feeling more anxiety now than before and it's hard to pay attention to anything else. Especially since we told our parents/siblings over the holidays. Also my thyroid levels are borderline, so trying to adjust my synthroid to get that under control is annoying.

    6. GTKY: What are you reading/ What is your favorite book of all time? I love YA books. Hunger Games, Divergent, etc.

    Bonus GTKY: Marvel or DC universe? Marvel! Thor is everything.

  • @elizabethrn87 I just found and tried my Doppler and I'm 9 +5 And found zip but my own heartbeat! Doesn't leave me super hopeful for Thursday, but I hope the doc has a stronger Doppler than I bought for 30$ lol
  • @SmashJam I tried again and had a maybe. But I’m at work so it’s a Doppler that doesn’t have a rate count. Trying to time the rate while balancing didn’t go well. So I’m not very certain. Will check with my own again at home tonight . If I can’t find I will call tomorrow. I HATE that my previous loss was just me feeling like something was “off” and no symptoms- really messes with you head for any future pregnancy’s 
  • @elizabethrn87 ugh, I know, I had no loss symptoms last time either so it is definitely messing with my head that something could be wrong, but there's no way of really knowing. I can't stand it.
  • @SmashJam Yes, exactly.  I really want to read the new one, too - waiting to borrow it from a friend.

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