Facebook?

PCS924

Is anyone interested in starting a Facebook group?  The Bump app is very glitchy for me. It frequently sends me back to the main page when I’m trying to see threads. In my opinion, Facebook is much easier to follow.  

fitzandgiggles

I like the anonymity the bump offers, but I have the same glitch issues as you. Personally I don't like the FB groups because you lose that sweet anonymity, so I will recommend creating a private subreddit instead. If there's interest I can create it and send pm's with the link to join. 

Plus Reddit makes it really easy to share gifs, and who doesn't love gifs???

doxiemoxie212

Not yet. #strangerdanger

doxiemoxie212

@fitzandgiggles I love that idea but still think we should stay on the Bump until third tri at least 

hjungk84

I'd be interested down the road (3rd trimester or so), but I am having the same glitchy issue as you. 

lrichhx05

With my last group we didn't move to FB until after our babies were born, and I liked that. I think now is too soon and it's better to get to know everyone on here first. 

catlady1215

Too soon for me. But I don't use the app. I use my phones web browser.

BurlapandLace

1) Too soon 
2) If I do join a FB group down the road, I would want it to be a smaller group of the people that actually participate at least semi-regularly. Not one where everyone who never posts/only intro’d or dropped a u/s pic is in it. 

izza2

Thanks but no thanks. 


We've all known each other for like 2 months.
I've worked with people longer than that and not had them on my FB.

PCS924

@fitzandgiggles That sounds great!  

PCS924

If anyone does want a FB group please PM me and I’ll add you to a “secret” group. Not worried about stranger danger as I’m in a few “Mom” groups on FB where I don’t know the thousands of people in them. 

MoonOverGoldsboro

Too soon for me, too. I'm into a FB group eventually, but not till it's close to these babies being born. By then, this place has usually been culled down only to the relatively regular posters who have taken the time to really get to know and support each other, and like @BurlapandLace, that's who I'd want in an FB group.

megara5

It's been glitchy for me too, especially today, but I definitely would rather wait until June or later for FB. 

twelvetwosomeonenew

I am all for a FB group.... in late 3rd tri/when the babes arrive. It's way too early for me just yet.  

 I've been MIA for a bit... how have y'all done weeding out the crazies?? 

marcus7676

I'm with the #strangerdanger group, at least right now.  My last BMB moved to instagram, then FB, well after our babies were born.  By then, we had been "talking" to each other for at least a year, if not longer.

dinodna3

Team when our babies are born for Facebook. FB is a lot easier to use and share pictures but shares a lot more personal info. So I’d definelty wait until we “know” each other a lot more. 

ramblebee

I'd join later

sunshineandwhiskey

I'm impressed with how nice everyone was to OP Same as everyone else - My old BMB went to FB around the third tri and there is less than 40 of us. It is amazing and we're all super close. Way too many crazies and trolls still out there right now.

MLS6212

PCS924 said:

If anyone does want a FB group please PM me and I’ll add you to a “secret” group. Not worried about stranger danger as I’m in a few “Mom” groups on FB where I don’t know the thousands of people in them. 

To me, a FB group should be a place where we can connect on a deeper level and be comfortable sharing with each other. I wouldn't want to share pictures of my family/children, discuss the often not-so-glamorous aspects of postpartum healing, or seek advice from thousands of random strangers.

My previous BMB started at the beginning of the third trimester with only 50 people. We've had a few drop off in participation and be removed from the group, so I think we're down to about 46 people. Most of us have met others in the group IRL. We celebrate each other's triumphs in life (baby related or not) and comfort each other in the bad times. We've been through problems breastfeeding, postpartum depression, miscarriages, job losses, relocations, marital problems, loss of a spouse, illnesses, hospitalizations, disabilities, babies not reaching milestones, anxiety, depression. We've celebrated new babies coming along, new jobs, engagements, marriages, birthdays, anniversaries, and babies reaching milestones. We've sent gifts to moms and/or babies who need a little extra love. We've done two Secret Santa gift exchanges. We get silly, we share stories, we post GIFs, and we're *real* with each other. It's like a big adult slumber party, but I feel like I know each and every woman in there. I'm willing to bet that the people who want to wait another 4-6 months to join a FB group feel the same way or want the same kind of experience, not just a generic forum where their questions, comments, or concerns get lost in a sea of a thousand others.

ffw0617

certainly down the line. Some people aren't even out of the first tri yet, its def too soon. I'm pretty much only on at work on my desk top, but on mobile I get the same glitches.

Austenista

@MLS6212 yes, same. It’s like having 50ish Bff’s. I have an AMAZING BMB from Dec ‘16 and I sincerely hope we get that out of this group too because there’s nothing like having a village of mamas right there with you in the trenches. Sometimes it’s fun to go back and look at old HDBD threads and think, “man, look at us! we really did this thing together.” It about makes you cry. 

My last bmb actually had two groups. One that went straight to fb and those that stayed here until the babies were born. That initial one is pretty dead now and was full of strangers (to me). The one that waited is my group. We are super close, talk about everything and anything, just like @mls6212 said we do secret Santa and holiday cards and have a sunshine committee for mamas that need some help or some sunshine. I’ve now met some of them IRL. Others I have their numbers and we’ve texted regularly. Friends with most of them on FB because I’m more cool with them seeing everything than the randos I barely remember from high school. It’s the best. I really want us to get there too. I think we need a little more time though before we can be that to each other. 

krash_

I have nothing to add to the discussion re: FB because my feelings have already been well put by everyone else but I just want to add that I don't get why other BMB's think we are the mean board. I mean this type of post has gone over much worse on all the other BMB's I've seen it brought up on. 

Round of applause for June '18!

PCS924

I just tried using the website to no avail. I think FB groups are great. My neighborhood Facebook group has created a “framily” out of a neighborhood. Also, there is less privacy on this board than in a Facebook group because, as Krashke said, anyone lurking on The Bump can see into this group and I guess other groups think this one is mean (I haven’t seen this because of the aforementioned glitch issues). 

A few things to remember - If you wait until June for a Facebook group, twins and early singles will already be born and many other people will be extremely busy preparing for their baby and might miss the big move. Also, removing the anonymity of user names might make some people act nicer.  And finally, if you are worried about stranger danger I know women who have created fake Facebook accounts to join groups until they’re comfortable with revealing their names.

With all that being said, I have created a closed group called “June 2018 Bumpies”. Please provide your Bump user name to gain entrance and I’ll flip it to secret at some point in the future. Looking forward to meeting some of you ladies in an easier to follow thread. All are welcome even if you are like me and haven’t been active due to the glitches. Thanks!

krash_

PCS924 said:

I just tried using the website to no avail. I think FB groups are great. My neighborhood Facebook group has created a “framily” out of a neighborhood. Also, there is less privacy on this board than in a Facebook group because, as Krashke said, anyone lurking on The Bump can see into this group and I guess other groups think this one is mean (I haven’t seen this because of the aforementioned glitch issues). 

snip

The point is though that people don't know your real name or identity and only what you have chosen to share is put out there. Even if you are just in an FB group, not friends, people will be able to see your full name and location. And personally I would not get the same benefit and support from a group like that as I do on TB. I am a part of a local moms group that has 1,000+ members but what is shared on there is very superficial. Like recommendations on where to see Christmas lights. Nothing like the kind of support this group has offered and nothing like the kind of FB groups the women above have described. 

doxiemoxie212

@PCS924 I’m sure there are plenty of existing Fb groups for June 2018 moms. Why not join one of those? It sounds like due to glitches you’ve struggled to even lurk here so I just don’t get why you care about if WE specifically join your group? Are you also posting this ad on baby center, WTE, etc? I’m confused. 

oneblessedmess

I'm still part of an active FB group of ladies from July '15, it's not huge which I like. We just did our third annual Secret Santa. A few of us have met IRL and one of them brought her son to my daughter's birthday party. I love them. But we didn't start the FB group until the end of third tri. I definitely think it's too early but later on I'm down!

Also- why are we considered the mean board?? I did take a hiatus, did I miss drama or something?

krash_

@oneblessedmess a comment along the lines of "well at least we aren't mean and swear like June" has been made a couple times on other BMB's. Specifically May. I think just based on a few drama instances at the beginning. I would say it is kind of a running joke now because we are not mean nor do we really swear. 

oneblessedmess

@krashke Oh gotcha. Thanks! Yeah this board seems relatively tame to me lol but if other boards want to think we're mean I at least hope they're picturing us like this:

lisa2589

@krashke @oneblessedmess  I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the funniest part of May ‘18 still commenting occasionally about us being “mean” is that one of the drama makers from the very early days has actually moved to their board now as a result of a due date change 

izza2

PCS924 said:

I just tried using the website to no avail. I think FB groups are great. My neighborhood Facebook group has created a “framily” out of a neighborhood. Also, there is less privacy on this board than in a Facebook group because, as Krashke said, anyone lurking on The Bump can see into this group and I guess other groups think this one is mean (I haven’t seen this because of the aforementioned glitch issues). 

A few things to remember - If you wait until June for a Facebook group, twins and early singles will already be born and many other people will be extremely busy preparing for their baby and might miss the big move. Also, removing the anonymity of user names might make some people act nicer.  And finally, if you are worried about stranger danger I know women who have created fake Facebook accounts to join groups until they’re comfortable with revealing their names.

With all that being said, I have created a closed group called “June 2018 Bumpies”. Please provide your Bump user name to gain entrance and I’ll flip it to secret at some point in the future. Looking forward to meeting some of you ladies in an easier to follow thread. All are welcome even if you are like me and haven’t been active due to the glitches. Thanks!

Seriously, it just sounds like you want a group on FB, regardless of who's in it or not in it.
So, join a June '18 FB group and have fun with thousands of people you don't know, or have fun with people who only lurk on TB and haven't taken the initiative to gain the true connection that we've started to gain here.
You very clearly don't GAF about the June '18 group on TB and just want to be on FB, so go have a blast with a bunch of strangers. The rest of us will stay here and continue to build our friendships and commiserate through our struggles.
If you really wanted a group to connect with other June '18 bump ladies, you'd do your best to try and participate on TB more than this post, which, seems to be working out just fine for you, magically??


Just some key responses:
1. There really isn't more privacy on FB. TB is a public forum, yes, but no here knows my last name, what town I live in, what I look like, what my husband and my SS look like, who my IRL friends are/where they're from/their names, etc. What people know on TB is what I purposely share. So no, FB =/= privacy. Even in a private group, anyone can go to anyone else's FB page and try to do some sleuthing if they really wanted to. And just because my stuff is private, doesn't mean my mother's is, or anyone else's on my page you could see.

2. Other BMB groups think every other BMB is meaner than theirs. Some people in May just have a hard-on for June because we had some straight up rude idiots in a few of our initial posts (like 99% of BMBs start out with). We've harped on about July and August when they've had some crazies in their groups. It doesn't constitute a reason to move to FB. We know what our group is really like, just like every other BMB group knows what they're really like. No one should take it to heart and run to FB because woe-is-me-other-groups-talk-about-us.

3. Twins and early deliveries will generally still be around TB, and if they're not, it's as easy as PMing the person, letting them know that we've moved to FB, and giving them the link to the group so that they can join when they have time. If they don't have time to check TB for a few minutes, I doubt they'll have time to check FB for a few minutes. We do/will know who the regular users who's continued to participate are, and we do/will know who would be missing from the FB group. Just like we do know that no one has any idea who TF you are, because although you can participate in this thread just fine, you seem to have an issue participating in any other thread we have going.

4. Adding names to the mix will not make anyone "nicer". As it is, I don't think we have any a-holes in our BMB. Disagreements, debates, healthy discussions, yes. But straight up a-holes? They've either left, or moved to other BMBs because their EDD changed. If anything, we could use a little more snark so that threads like this from strangers like you are shut down quicker.

MLS6212

krashke said:

@oneblessedmess a comment along the lines of "well at least we aren't mean and swear like June" has been made a couple times on other BMB's. Specifically May. I think just based on a few drama instances at the beginning. I would say it is kind of a running joke now because we are not mean nor do we really swear. 

izza2

MLS6212 said:

krashke said:

@oneblessedmess a comment along the lines of "well at least we aren't mean and swear like June" has been made a couple times on other BMB's. Specifically May. I think just based on a few drama instances at the beginning. I would say it is kind of a running joke now because we are not mean nor do we really swear. 

It's probably because I'm pretty sure I so swear a lot...
They're probably all talking about me.
Its okay, I'll take the blame for the swearing, y'all.

MLS6212

Damn it, @izza2! Watch your forking mouth!