I thought I was too busy for boards this round...

businessmama

I found out I was pregnant on November 2. It was my Dad's birthday and only a couple months after my IUD was removed, which was a lot faster than our first. I was happy because our son would be just over 2 when our new arrival came.

The next day, I was the one who found my dog who had passed away I expectedly. And I did not deal with it well. My husband and I just kept saying that this news got us through something so crushing. It was the last gift from our boxer baby.

with a toddler, I decided I was too busy for the boards. My anxiety was low. Symptoms were the same, and I felt seasoned. Saw the heart beat when I thought I was 9 and half weeks. They said it was actually 8 weeks. I didn't see how that was possible, but the heart beat was all I cared about.

Then I did something I never would the first time that early. I bought an announcement shirt. I know it's stupid, but that just feels like jinxing it.

i started bleeding this Monday. The doctor confirmed the baby didn't have a HB and had stopped growing just a couple days after the first US.

I took cytotec thinking I just wanted it done before Christmas. So it didn't cloud the time with my son. it's not working, and I'm scared I'll have to get a D&C. 

My husband is catering to my every need,  but I just want to talk about this baby. The baby I am still very much carrying. My second child. 

Looking for any words to carry me through. I hate that there is even a group like this to join, but thankful for you all at the same time. 

Mack2342

I’m so sorry for your loss.  It is terrible thing to go through.  I just had my 3rd d & c this past Tuesday.   I think this time of year makes loss a tad bit harder to deal with.  As for jinxing pregnancy, I have been there but no such thing.  I went it for US at 6 wks and was measuring only 5 wks so they wanted to give it a week and said I had 50/50 chance that it would catch up.  The next week went by so slow. I had to put down my 17 yr old cat that Wednesday night.  So that just added to my stress and sadness even though I was hoping things would finally turn out with since we have already had two losses but on Friday no such luck.  So went in this past Tuesday for d & c.  I prefer the procedure to end it quickly and try to move forward.  For me the process has been virtually pain free and feel back normal physically in a few days.  This time around I feel like I’m taking longer to feel normal.  If I do too much my uterus is sore but I think with a few more days that should go away.  I hope you have a quick recovery and take time to grieve and do what you need to do to move forward.  Again sorry for your loss

holly321

I am sorry for you loss.  Honestly, a D&C is not so bad.  I have had 3 total. One 5 years ago and two with my recent miscarriage.  It is IMO more convenient (because you know when, vs, waiting for it to happen) and quicker.  Unfortunately, I had a molar pregnancy, which is why I needed too.  But the experience of a d&c is relatively quick and only has mild discomfort.  A few hours in the hospital, and after some bleeding and normally, no cramps.

I tried to miscarry naturally this time, I went for 2 weeks with nothing, and I think the worst part was walking around knowing you are carrying your child you will never get to know.

I understand the feelings of jinxing the pregnancy, which is why this time around we bought nothing, and it didn't make any difference.  I know it may be too soon, but I have a memory box for my baby I lost almost 6 years ago, it has his ultrasound, positive test, a Christmas outfit and a blanket someone gifted me, and I only look at it about once a year, but I cherish it and it makes the baby feel more real.  I hate I have nothing for this baby but a positive test.   Maybe you can do something similar with what you bought?  

businessmama

Thank you both. For the d&c, how long did your doctor tell you to wait before TTC? 

Mack2342

With all 3 of mine they just said one cycle and that is just for dating purposes.  

holly321

@AliciaD39, with my first, I was told I could try as soon as I was ready emotionally.  With the molar, I will probably have to wait for almost 8 months total.

businessmama

I went in today and was told everything had passed. I hardly bled at all, and only had a couple of clots after the first dosage. I thought there was no way I had passed anything, let alone the fetus.

im so happy I do not have to have the d&c, but I feel like I let my baby down bc I didn't realize he was gone. I was told I would definitely know; and I went 4.5 days not knowing. 

i explained to my doctor about the amount of.l blood/clotting (seriously barely filled a pad, and only noticed blood when I wiped) and even she said that is extremely unusual for someone who was measuring 8.3 weeks. 

Ill go go back next week to check levels.

how long did y'all have to go before you were back to zero?

holly321

@AliciaD39, the first time, my levels weren't monitored.  This time with a molar it wasn't normal, it took about 2 months.  I think average is 2 weeks.

Mack2342

Glad you passed everything.  Never tracked mine.  With my 2nd one, AF arrived 3 weeks after d &c.   I’m a week out from this d & c so I’m not sure 

robyn2201

I'm so sorry for your loss! I had a similar experience as you in which I did not have a lot of bleeding and did not think I passed everything. I had a NMC at 10 weeks, baby was measuring 8 weeks. It took my levels a little longer than a month to get back to zero. I got AF 4 weeks after my loss and my levels were like 5. I did another level check 2 weeks after AF and it was zero. 

businessmama

I got a call today and I'm at 366. They said they are only going to check next week to ensure still found down, but we would stop after that 

vlagrl29

Mine were checked until I got to 8. I had bruises on my arms.

businessmama

How long did it take you? Bruises.... so sorry!

echo-charlietango

If my D&C counted as CD1, then I had a 32 day cycle. My normal cycles are 28-30 days, so longer -but not too unusual. 

I had low progesterone before we saw the MC, so we didn’t bother tracking that. 

I took HPTs every 5-7 Days to watch that level drop. I was back to BFN 10 Days after the D&C. 

(This was my first everything (pregnancy, MC, general anesthesia))