FFFC 12/15

sandbar517

cups4

I'm just going to start off with my embarrassing revelation after a shower yesterday that being short and super round already, my H is going to have to help me shave soon....

sandbar517

@cups4 I remembered on Monday that I had an appointment with the MFM, and at first thought I should shave so I don't look like a 70s porn star, but when I looked down at my boobs and belly, I thought....eh, fuck it.  70s porn star it is.  

ivyvines6

@cups4 @sandbar517 I quit shaving pretty shortly after J was born unless there’s a special occasion that warrants it. I give zero fucks otherwise. Also, word of warning, I had my DH shave me while I was pregnant with J and he gave me the worst cut from a razor I’ve ever had in my life, and razor burn on top of it, so just because they “know” how to shave, does not mean they actually KNOW how to shave. 

mileswithmyles

Mine is kinda bad... I really don’t enjoy spending time with my nephews. They’re out of control behaviorally and DS worships them blindly because they are all older than him. It drives me up a wall. Whenever he comes back from being around them, his behavior escalates and he comes home saying and doing inappropriate things, like bad versions of Christmas carols and telling me his oldest cousin told him it’s okay for him to pee in the sink. And recently his oldest cousin got his youngest brother in trouble by telling him to call their mom a fu****g fart face b****h. I will literally lose it if my three year old comes home saying that. I’m not saying DS is an angel, but he doesn’t need any help or ideas with coming up with sneaky or bad things to do. He seems to figure all that out on his own just fine. 

suchaglencoco

@cups4, last pregnancy I used a shower mirror for as long as I could. Then  DH would help, but he was awful at it. He was terrified to cut me, which is a good thing, but it left a few patches every time. I finally gave up.
During my first hospitalization, I apologized to one of the nurses for my "enormous bush" and she laughed. She said "eh, we don't really notice it anymore unless it has weird stuff in it or the patient brings it up. So yeah, yours is pretty bushy!" I liked her immediately. 

Also for anyone who hasn't had a c section, they have a nurse come shave you (logical right?). Well my mom was in the room and I couldn't stop laughing at her embarrassment that she was in the room for it. Like, I've done way more embarrassing things than have a random woman shave my bits for surgery!  They then take tape and basically lint roll the hair off of you, which really had my mom in tears. I told her "you'll never use your lint roller again without picturing this moment!"
So much bonding, haha. I think if I require a c section this time, my mom will just leave the room instead of averting her gaze.

sparklingdiamond

I was super annoyed with a client yesterday who called and yelled at me and called like 20 times yesterday.  So my co-worker and I just stopped answering the phone when she called.

ivyvines6

@mileswithmyles I feel the same way about my nephews tbh... My sister and I have such different philosophies about raising kids it’s hard to deal with each other’s kids because of it. She’s super no care about snacking on junk food constantly, and ignoring screaming and rambunctious behavior until it escalates when they annoy her enough to do something, when she usually goes overboard spanking and screaming. I try to nip behavior like that in the bud, and have no problem removing my kid from the room to stop him from getting to that point, and we don’t practice corporal punishment as a rule. My nephews are unbearable to be around at times because they don’t have any respect for adults unless you’re threatening to beat them at this point, so I don’t invite them over to my house very often, lest they break the things my toddler knows better than to mess with. (Nephews are 6 and 8 ftr)

Also, I’m not a perfect mom, and I make no such claims about parenting styles being better than the other, I just know what we fee is right for us, and I know what we see isn’t working for other families we have in our lives.

sandbar517

@mileswithmyles this was my face while reading your comment:

I don't know if these nephews are from your siblings, or your husband's, but I would be talking to the parents and telling them that they better knock that shit off or my kid would not be spending time around them.  Do you think their parents are even aware that they're saying some of the stuff they're saying (besides the names he was calling his mom, because obviously they're aware of that....) but the peeing in the sink?? What the what?

I was tempted to ask MH to shave me last time, but being a nurse myself, I know when they say they *truly* aren't bothered by it (I would add "odor" to the stipulations listed by @suchaglencoco), they mean it, so I just gave up.  I tried to do as good of a job as I could by feel, but ultimately didn't really care.  

I actually have a confession today, but feel it's way too controversial and don't think I want to start the debate.....I'll get back to you depending on how my day goes LOL

mileswithmyles

@ivyvines6 You hit the nail on the head with "Also, I’m not a perfect mom, and I make no such claims about parenting styles being better than the other, I just know what we fee is right for us, and I know what we see isn’t working for other families we have in our lives."  I always feel like when I talk about this I might come off a little "sancti-mommy," when really I know that I (and DS) are far from perfect.  But I can see that never correcting your child's behavior and letting them do whatever they want is not something, IMO, that works.  

@sandbar517 They are BIL's kids (DH's brother).  Part of the problem is that BIL thinks what they do and say is funny!  There are never any consequences for their behavior.  He will FB or Instagram stuff like peeing in the sink and caption it with something about how funny/smart they are.  They are almost 9, 6.5 and almost 5.  It is so annoying!  He and SIL are divorced.  It was very messy and the whole family dynamic is awful.  She's pretty mean and I wasn't sorry to see her go, but the flipside of that is that BIL compensates by being super lax about everything.  They have 50/50 custody and BIL lives with my ILs.  We have been limiting the time that DS spends with them.  Their behavior has always been a problem, but now that DS is old enough to imitate them and be more aware, their influence is showing and I hate it.  We really try to not let him be around them if we aren't there, but we've been in a bind a few times, like this week when DS's school was closed and we needed MIL to watch him.  At our Thanksgiving with them, I went to check on DS upstairs when they were playing because the roof sounded like it was going to cave in.  It was like a Wrestlemania Cage match.  They were taking anything and everything, winding up, and smacking each other with whatever object they had at full speed.  I made DS come downstairs and he got upset because he wanted to play with his cousins.  They crashed our Christmas light viewing last night (don't even get me started on how pissed I was about that) and the oldest one was singing inappropriate versions of Christmas carols and DS was imitating him.  I told DS that that was not nice boy behavior and he said "Well, ***** does it."  I told him that he shouldn't do it either.   I try not to bad mouth them around DS, but I don't feel like I can let it go anymore.  The oldest one was also running in and out of the street and I was holding on to DS's hand with a death grip.  The oldest was trying to get me to let DS walk with him if he held his hand and I was like, "umm, no.  He needs to hold a grown-up's hand."  


Also, @sandbar517, now I want to know your confession!  

sandbar517

@mileswithmyles, Ugh, that sounds horrible.  I think your son is old enough to not necessarily bad mouth the other kids to him, but be honest and tell him that their behavior is not acceptable, and just because BIL lets them get away with it, does not mean it's going to fly in your house.  

Ok, ok.  Here's mine.  And it's going to get some flaming, I'm sure.  I'll try to explain myself as best I can, because I feel I have a very different opinion on all things related to this topic. 
If a spouse is cheating, I place almost no blame on The Other Man/Woman.  Even if The Other Person knows that person is married.  Chances are, if the husband/wife is cheating, if The Other Person was not okay with being The Other Person, the husband/wife would just find someone else to cheat with.  I feel like cheating is *almost* always a symptom of other problems in the marriage, and thus is not something that should be The Other Person's problem to deal with.  That being said, I think this mostly only applies for long-term emotional affairs, because I feel completely different about sex-only affairs.  I honestly feel an emotional affair (I love you, I wish we could be together) is WAY worse, regardless of whether or not there is sex involved, than a "We had sex but I have no feelings for him/her whatsoever" affair.  Let the flaming begin.  And with all situations of this controversial nature, nothing is black/white and there is a lot of grey, so I don't necessarily think this is true for every situation. 

bjkay22

@sandbar517 I totally agree. I’ve always said that your spouse or partner agreed to love you forever in a monogamous relationship (assuming that’s the arrangement). The “other” person is nothing to you and made no such promises. It’s still morally not cool to sleep with a married person or whatever but it’s not their fault and they really don’t deserve the blame. This is assuming the other person is basically a stranger and not like your sister or brother or something. 

Also re:cheating. DH and I have always agreed that if you have to hide it from your spouse, it’s cheating. I guess that’s my FFC. Obvioulsy this doesn’t apply to everyone but generally I think it does. 


Edit. Words and stuff

thunderberry

@sandbar517 ooo that is a nice and controversial one! I'm on the fence about that. I definitely don't think they are even NEARLY as blameworthy as the spouse is, but if someone is knowingly sleeping with a married/committed person I think they are often just not a really nice person. I generally try to live my life in a way that doesn't hurt other people. Rather than thinking about if I owe some duty to be nice to the person, I l try to think if there's a good reason I CAN'T be. That sound really Pollyannaish and obviously isn't always possible but I feel like the world would be a better place if people just tried not to hurt other people!

But it depends a lot on the circumstances. If you got involved without someone without initially knowing they were committed, it's a lot less blameworthy to continue on once you find out because you're already emotionally entangled, and while it's still not exactly nice I can at least understand it and have sympathy because they've been kind of screwed over too. If you knowingly pursue a married man or woman you're basically the scum of the earth, in my view.

theletlers

I'd have to agree with @thunderberry very circumstantial. But I get what you are saying @suchaglencoco that the blame shouldn't really be thrown so heavily at the other woman/man. The cheater is the one who maybe should have done things differently. Just curious... is this just an opinion or a situation IRL?

@mileswithmyles OMG!!! I would be pissed. My sisters and in laws might have some differences in parenting styles but nothing so crazy like that. I have started to notice however that DS is mimicking the behavior of our neighbor's son. It's hard though because she is also our babysitter so he's there several afternoons a week. Some parts of it I can just let go and say its kids being kids. But last weekend we watched her son while they went to a work party. He was so wild. He was climbing on all the chairs and jumping off of everything, screaming every time he didn't get his way, pushing and hitting DS when he would play with a toy and then yanking it from his hands. I get that every parent can do things in their own way, but I don't allow my son to get away with mean behaviors. Like you all said, he's not some perfect kid and I'm no saint of a parent. Do what works for you. But if your kid is constantly fighting with everyone and screaming to get his way I kind of think something's not working...

And as for my lovely lady parts... I think I might clean it up tonight because DH is home for the next five days. And I have been super into adult time lately. But this might be the last go around for me.
@suchaglencoco I laughed so hard at your shave experience with your mom!! Too funny

bwow615

I don't shave down there, never really have (exception being college).  I always get really bad razor burn and ingrown hairs so i just trim instead.  
As for cheating,hmm.  All forms of cheating are a no go for me, emotional connections or just sexual, both would have me out the door in a heart beat.  Or him I should say.  

fraufarbissina

If we're talking legs here, I never shave unless I absolutely have to which is pretty much only if my pants are dirty and I have to wear a skirt to work and it's too warm for tights.  I guess my hot take on the issue is that I hate it when someone finds out I don't shave and asks how my husband feels about it.  1) they're my legs so it should only matter what I think about them and 2) of course he didn't mind that they're hairy because why would he?

What do you guys think of the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" thing?  I've never cheated but I know people who have who hate that saying because they felt so guilty about it and would never do it again. 

suchaglencoco

@mileswithmyles, I don't think.you're coming off as sancti-mommy at all. It's not like you're judging the children on their grammar or them asking "can I" instead of "may I". Children absolutely learn from one another, especially family, about behavior. 
We are very blessed that all 3 sets of cousin's are fairly well behaved. There are some minor issues of one set ignoring adults when they say "hello, how are you", but that is nothing in comparison. 
This seems like a problem that definitely will not go away on its own. The only real options are 1, to deal with it and use it as a teaching tool for your children on how not to act. Or 2, have DH confront BIL about it with a warning that the children will never be around each other. This option will definitely turn into a cage match since BIL seems to not only allow, but encourage this kind of behavior. 
I also find it fascinating that 2 siblings would raise their children so differently! Normally people tend to parent the way they were parented, unless there is an ugly cycle that needs to be broken.
It definitely is a sucky situation to be dealing with.

@sandbar517, I really agree with you. Normally the "other woman/man" gets a ton, if not all, of the blame when things hit the fan. And yes, morally they are wrong, but the spouse is who went over the line and went against their vows. I always hate when the friends pile on and harass the other person on social media or at work. To me, that's just too far. If the spouse wants to confront them, that's different. 
And 100% if there is cheating, there is a huge issuen with the foundation of the marriage itself. Not that it is a valid excuse to cheat whatsoever, but I have yet to see or hear of cheating in a healthy relationship. 

charlestonchew

@fraufarbissina I don't agree with it depending on the scenario. If it's emotional cheating and something was just wrong with the relationship, they may have just went about it the wrong way instead of just ending it. 

DH and I started dating at 15 and when I turned 18 I went a bit wild which included cheating on him. We're 25 and married and I'm completely in love with him and only want him. I was just a stupid kid.

charlestonchew

@fraufarbissina separate post but wanted to comment on shaving. I also rarely shave and I know DH prefers the smooth look but it also isn't a deal breaker for him in the relationship and he realizes its my body and choice. I honestly hate shaving but probably shave everything 3 times a year just to "clean up". This is for both legs and pubes.

ivyvines6

fraufarbissina said:

If we're talking legs here, I never shave unless I absolutely have to which is pretty much only if my pants are dirty and I have to wear a skirt to work and it's too warm for tights.  I guess my hot take on the issue is that I hate it when someone finds out I don't shave and asks how my husband feels about it.  1) they're my legs so it should only matter what I think about them and 2) of course he didn't mind that they're hairy because why would he?

What do you guys think of the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" thing?  I've never cheated but I know people who have who hate that saying because they felt so guilty about it and would never do it again. 

1: To quote my DH when this is frequently asked of him when I wear skirts or on super rare occasions shorts, “It has no bearing on the way a vagina feels, so why the hell should I care?” He finds people questioning him on how he thinks I should conduct myself irritating so he responds in kind...

2: I can personally attest that that is not always the case. Cheating is a learned behavior and a person is fully capable of growing out of it if they value the other person/relationship. When DH and I had been together for about a year we had a horrendous fight that led to me seeking comfort elsewhere. Previous to this relationship I had cheated without care because it never felt like either party was putting in the effort to matter (immature and horrid, I understand) but that one encounter was enough for me to know how deeply differently DH was to me, and how not worth it that type of behavior or lifestyle in some cases is. For anyone curious, we broke up for a few months when he found out, each saw other people, and knew we both wanted to be with each other instead. The first year we were back together was hard for both of us because of the trust that has been broken, and him holding himself to a lower standard as a partner in retaliation for a while in response to it, but we’ve been stronger from it since then. Cheating is harmful, for everyone involved, and I definitely don’t recommend it as a course of action at all. The thought of being with another person in any kind of emotional or physical way turns my stomach now, so I don’t personally prescribe to that adage. 

cups4

@suchaglencoco  the csection shaving is why I actually thought about my problems last night!!!!  I know they do this on the reg, but I felt self conscious about not keeping up well enough for myself and knowing how hard it's going to be later on down the road.  

gildah

I am religious about shaving. I don’t know how, but have figured out how to stay trimmed throughout my pregnancies. There’s a lot of feeling around haha!
I feel like cheating is really complicated. There are people who cheat serially, people who suddenly find themselves in an affair that they didn’t see coming, people who cheat because they are ready to be done with their marriage etc, etc. Serial cheating is awful, but I have a lot of sympathy for people who have affairs, feel remorse and work towards fixing their marriages. That being said,  I have a friend who is engaged to a man who left his wife and kids for her. It’s awkward because they are both work colleagues. I would never something to her, but I will not be attending their wedding. The divorce was awful and the ex-wife wanted to save the marriage, asked for counseling etc. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable, and I honestly think he’ll probably do the same thing to my friend eventually. My concern isn’t that their marriage fell apart, it’s that his wife was totally blindsided by it. I think he’d be classified as a walk away husband. 

suchaglencoco

I personally like to have shaved legs and a clean chooch. I am definitely not an everyday shaver by any means, but I like a clean shop. DH also likes it clean, but definitely not a deal breaker!

@cups4, I hear that. I tend to slip up on the chooch and then tell DH I should have brought a scissors into the shower with me. My biggest worry if I have another cs is the first shave. **shudder

sparklingdiamond

I have never had a C-section, so I am sure this is just a dumb question, but why do they shave you for that?  Is the incision that low?

ivyvines6

suchaglencoco said:

I personally like to have shaved legs and a clean chooch. I am definitely not an everyday shaver by any means, but I like a clean shop. DH also likes it clean, but definitely not a deal breaker!

@cups4, I hear that. I tend to slip up on the chooch and then tell DH I should have brought a scissors into the shower with me. My biggest worry if I have another cs is the first shave. **shudder

I mean just because I don’t shave doesn’t mean my genitalia isn’t clean I’m being cheeky, but that’s a sore spot for me when discussing this with disgusting internet trolls. There is an idea that a woman HAS to be smooth at all times to indicate her cleanliness and I find that concept disgusting. My personal feelings around body hair don’t affect anyone else, so I don’t know why my having body hair is SOOO offensive to so many people. (You seriously would not believe some of the comments I’ve received over it)

suchaglencoco

sparklingdiamond said:

I have never had a C-section, so I am sure this is just a dumb question, but why do they shave you for that?  Is the incision that low?

spawwwarklingdiamond said:

I have never had a C-section, so I am sure this is just a dumb question, but why do they shave you for that?  Is the incision that low?

Not a dumb question!  Mine is right at the top of my bikini line. Kind of with a natural fold of the skin- at least for me.
Honestly, I don't even really notice it anymore. And DH couldn't tell you where it is, haha.

@ivyvines6, I don't associate the 2. I just shave because that's my preference. You do you girl! 

gildah

@ivyvines6 That’s just bizarre. Why would anyone care about your pubic hair? Especially on the internet? Is this seriously something that people concern themselves over?

sandbar517

@fraufarbissina, I think it depends on the person.  Some people cheat as a symptom of the relationship, so if they leave that relationship and start a new one that is better for them, I think they are not necessarily predestined to cheat again.  Some people cheat for more internal reasons, narcissism, depression, whatever, and while I don't want to say it's definitely a part of their personality, I think those type of people are more prone to cheat again, regardless of the relationship they're in.  
@theletlers I think you tagged the wrong person, I wrote the original post, not @suchaglencoco.  It's not a situation I'm currently dealing with IRL, but I've been on all different sides of the situation in different parts of my life, and I have a lot of family and friends who have been in the situation in one way or another-some rather recently. Mostly, I just figured it was a situation a lot of people could relate to.  I've been The Other Woman in the past (it was definitely not a "he's going to leave his wife and we're going to be together" type of relationship, not that that matters), and one of my "friends" brought it up the other day, and it sparked a conversation.  Was I a good person for doing it?  Definitely not.  But was it my fault that he broke the vows he made to his wife?  I don't necessarily think so.  This was also brought on because I read an article the other day about a man who cheated on his wife, the other woman told the man's wife for whatever reason, the rest of his family found out, and then the man suffered some consequences, (I don't remember the exact details, it could have been something minor like he lost his job or something major like he killed himself, or something) and the whole family was blaming this woman for what happened.  Not one person stopped to say, "Yeah, but if he hadn't been cheating in the first place, none of this would have happened either."  
To further stir the pot, I'm going to bring up happily married people cheating.  On one hand, I have married friends that I've had (and have) a totally flirty type relationship with, but I knew it would never be something that would actually happen because they were completely happy in their marriage and the flirting was more just part of our personalities, so it's easy to say that if people are happily married they would never be cheating in the first place.  On the other hand, I am happily married, but I'm not going to lie and say I've never been tempted before.  I actually broached the subject of an open marriage with my husband because of that, and after a long discussion he said he wouldn't be comfortable with it, so that was the end of it. I agreed that we would be monogamous, and I haven't broken that promise.  (I realize most people will say this should have been brought up before we got married, but I felt very differently about it back then.)  When he and I talked about it, it was strictly on a sexual basis.  I'm not interested in having a boyfriend/girlfriend or carrying on any type of long term relationship with anyone else because I love my husband and I love the life we've built together.  I was just interested in exploring my sexuality and exploring sexual encounters with other people, both with and without my husband involved.   How's that for a FFFC?  Geez, hope none of that was TMI.  Just wanted to be honest and let people know where I'm coming from. 

kpc914

@cups4 I rarely shave my legs (it's probably been over a month for me, and I only shaved because I was a bridesmaid in a wedding). As for my "area" I am SUPER prone to razor burn and ingrowns, so I get brazilian waxes (had one yesterday). It's not that I don't want to be hairy, I just feel more comfortable when I keep up with my waxes. Just my personal preference.

@sandbar517 I totally agree with your confession. While it may show questionable morals on the other man/woman's part, they aren't to blame. The decision to cheat is on the cheater. They make the conscious choice to go outside their marriage, they are adults and should be responsible for their own actions. I hate the term "home wrecker" for this reason. As if the other person was responsible for your broken marriage. 

sandbar517

Wow, lots of comments while I was typing my response.  @gildah I absolutely agree with you.  That's why I mentioned in my original post that it's almost NEVER black/white in these situations.  People cheat for so many different reasons, and I think my main point is just that I find it really unfair that in almost every situation The Other Person is almost always given as much, if not more, blame than the spouse who did the cheating.  That's why the term homewrecker exists, but there's no term for the spouse doing the cheating.  If we had hours and hours to discuss this (oh, wait, we kinda do! LOL) we could really get into the sexism of how the situations I'm talking about are almost always a husband cheating on his wife with another woman, while we know women cheat on their husbands just as often, but they're almost never discussed.  And "The Other Woman" is vilified WAY more than "The Other Man".  
@kpc914 jinx!  You typed almost the exact same response I just did!

For the hair situation, I wonder if the shaving for C-sections is also just to keep the field as sterile as possible?  Shaving around incision sites is still always done, so regardless of what part of the body is being operated on, they would probably "shave" whatever little hairs are there.  
@ivyvines6 I'm also shocked that internet strangers would be so concerned with your personal grooming habits.  Although, I guess I shouldn't be....I sometimes shave my chooch (@suchaglencoco that term is making me giggle, I love it-also love bajengo from Scrubs!) and I sometimes don't.  Just depends on how lazy I feel.  Same for my legs.  Underarms for me are always shaved, though.  Societal norm, maybe?  Self conscience about sweating/odor?  Who knows, but I shave them every time I shower.  On other people, whatever makes you happy.  I prefer MH keep trimmed, but it doesn't have to be totally shaved, and that's just my personal preference for oral sex.  So if he asks me to do the same for the same reason, I'm okay with it.  

kpc914

and I agree with @charlestonchew and @ivyvines6 I don't believe the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" crap. People make mistakes, it's complicated, they were young and stupid, etc. Doesn't mean that you cannot be a loyal and trustworthy spouse if you have cheated on them or someone else in the past. People mature, learn, and grow. At the same time, if a guy cheats on you with 30 different women over the course of a year and you get back with him after being broken up for a month (I know someone who is doing this right now)...you really need more more time apart. I believe he is capable of change, but no one changes that fast. Sorry. 

ivyvines6

@gildah I didn’t mean pubic region specifically actually I should have clarified. I follow a lot of feminism pages on Facebook and body hair comes up fairly frequently so when I mention that I don’t shave I get lots of harassment over it. Also in public I’ve had men come up to me and tell me I’m a disgusting lesbian and I need to shave so my child and husband won’t be embarrassed of me. (Separate conversations btw) My sexuality has nothing to do with my body hair bro...

sandbar517

@ivyvines6 As if we need another example of rampant sexism and gender norms in our society, there it is.  If women don't shave, they're dirty lesbians/hippie freaks, and imagine the backlash if a man decided to start shaving his legs and underarms!  Ugh, I don't understand why people are so concerned with how other people prefer to live their lives.  

cups4

@sparklingdiamond  mine is right at the top of my bikini line so if I let it grow it will be completely covered.

@ivyvines6 like @suchaglencoco it's just my preference too and I cannot believe that any other person would have any sort of opinion on someone else's body parts and their shaving habits!! 

@kpc914  I am able to shave with minor razor burn or any at all, but I will share this: my first brazilian literally a week before I gave birth (ended up in a csection) and I'm scarred lol.  I was telling my mom how bothered I was that I couldn't properly shave and she bought me my first wax at our salon/spa we go to.  FTM, so didn't think about how much worse it was going to hurt 9 months pregnant.  When I was being prepped for the csection the nurse got out the razor to shave and in the heat of the moment I told her to put it away and that I had gotten a wax and wouldn't be wasting it.

suchaglencoco

@sandbar517, I love scrubs.

charlestonchew

I do take note of societal norms though and always shave legs if they will be showing. I remember when I was a freshman being made fun of for leg hair showing and it kind of burned me.

sandbar517

@suchaglencoco That is one of my favorite lines in the whole series.  And my BFF and I still use the term "bajengo sisters".  Such a great show!  
@charlestonchew I do, too. I just hope that we, as a society, can get to a point in the future that shaved/unshaved legs aren't  a societal norm, and we can just let people live how they want to.  

sparklingdiamond

I like when I have shaved, but that being said, I rarely shave lol.  I am so lazy and don't want to take the time to do it.  

kpc914

@cups4 do you remember if they used hard or soft wax (if it was soft wax, they would have had to use a fabric strip to remove the wax)? I wouldn't let someone near me with a 10 foot pole if they were trying to do a bikini wax with soft wax. That being said, I get mine with hard wax, and I will say my first trimester waxes were a bit more painful. I definitely don't recommend your first wax during pregnancy lol! I have been getting them for almost 8 years, so I think my hair is thin enough now that it's really not painful at all for me anymore. 

@sandbar517 you're really speaking to my soul today. 

theletlers

@sandbar517 you're right wrong tag originally! But I get your situation and several other people's. I do think it's too complex of a situation to have a set of rules for who should blame whom. Each situation is different because we as humans are each different. So the reasons one person had will be different than someone else's reasons and everyone will walk away from the situation with different emotions and lessons learned and experiences. I don't really think it's my job or place to judge or put anyone down though for what someone else has done. It hasn't affected my own relationship and I would of course feel hurt if it did. But I think I would feel more upset with DH than the other woman. I'm not saying we would become Reba and Barbara Jean, but I think ruining her life to get even wouldn't make me feel better. I might just happen to accidentally throw something directly and angrily at DH's computer though if that happened! 

Im actually terrible at shaving my legs regularly. I try and remember to do the pits once a week. DH really doesn't care about any of it though. 

theletlers