August 2018 Moms

PGAL (Pregnant After Loss) Check In-12/6

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled craziness that is pregnancy!

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  


2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 


3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  


4. When is your next appointment? 


5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  


6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?

7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?

Re: PGAL (Pregnant After Loss) Check In-12/6

  • SmashJam said:
    This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled craziness that is pregnancy!

    Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread. 

    1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  I’m 4w6. Milestones? Like in relation to my losses? Not yet, mine were further along.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) physically ok. Some minor weird nausea stuff... breakfast seems to make me nauseous - eating it and struggling to finish. I have a minor lingering cough from a cold this fall and coughing on a few occasions has made me gag. Not much general nausea but more intense sudden spurts.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  I’m doing ok so far. The holidays being in the forefront help. I’m also thinking of this pregnancy as more of ‘if I have a baby in aug’, feels more like the tww than a certainty.


    4. When is your next appointment? I haven’t even scheduled it. My losses were likely defects, so early appointments won’t really change anything


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  just wish I had a crystal ball. Uncertainty is hard.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? Team none... but we have 2 dogs. They are 10&11 and massive pitas. So many accidents etc. over. It.

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc? 

    For the two babies I lost I got a special ornament to represent each. The first a small China baby angel, the second a rainbow.


    We are also navigating the recent death of my sil. She does this fall, drug od. It’s a very complication situation and the emotions for dh and everyone else are... very complicated. Mostly it will be a tough holiday for my Mil and fil so it’s figuring out how to support them amidst the also complication and not good relationship we have with them






    11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
    05/2017 cp
    08/03/17 no hb 8w

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    I am still not entirely sure, as I only ever did get one real period since my daughter was born in February. But my first couple tests were quite faint so I don't believe I'm too far along yet. Impatiently waiting to schedule a dating scan for when I'm sure beyond reasonable doubt that there should be a heartbeat. 


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    So far, waves of nausea and a persistant back ache are my biggest complaints. I'm tired and cranky, too.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    (TW)I'm still at a point of "don't get too attached yet" to avoid potential heartache. My first pregnancy was almost the same timeline as this one (actually about a month ahead, but close enough for discomfort), and I lost it right before Christmas. H and I had gotten so invested that baby things were all we got each other for the holiday, so our presents stayed wrapped until I could deal with it. I'm struggling with it honestly. 


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    Still haven't made it, as that just causes me anxiety. I'm waiting for around the 8 week mark to even call in.


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    Part of me feels guilty for being impacted so much by PGAL. I already had a rainbow, and it's been almost two years since the first loss. Since we're likely stopping at two, I really just want to focus on enjoying the process. Instead my brain wants to focus on all the negative "what if"s.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?

    Team ferret! Though I love both cats and dogs too, ferrets are the best of both worlds for me.


    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?

    I really don't have traditions or anything. Holidays are always particularly hard for H, so we usually do something to take his mind off of it. My parents and extended family all live thousands of miles away so we'll mail out cards and call to say hi, but other than that it's just he and I (and this year, our DD!). 

    We'll probably keep it simple this year too.

  •     
  • Thanks for starting this @smashjam! I'm excited to be on this journey with other ladies who understand the unique challenges and anxieties of PGAL. 

    1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  5w4d. Had a CP at 4w2d in July, so I'm relieved to be past that. Next milestone will be getting past 6w, which is when the bleeding started for my MC last November. 

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Feeling pretty good so far. Keep dismissing things because they seem so minor. Like, I'm not EXHAUSTED, I'm a little more tired than usual. I'm not NAUSEOUS, my appetite is just more particular... Sore boobs are my only constant. Poor things are getting smooshed all day long so I can reassure myself. 

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Yikes. Not so great. Really trying to hold off on getting my hopes up too high, while still trying to enjoy this experience for what it is. Every cramp or twinge becomes catastrophic in my mind. Everytime I go to the bathroom and there's no blood I do a little happy dance. 

    4. When is your next appointment? This morning! Saw my RE and we were able to see the pregnancy in the uterus and the yolk sac. Still too soon to see the fetal pole, but we go back next Wednesday. My doc told me that he's had women come in for ultrasounds daily for reassurance... so tempting... 

    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  The thread about how everyone is going to announce to their families at Christmas is so sweet, but it brings up my bitterness. After 2 losses in the past year that I told people about early, I don't feel right making a big production out of announcing this one. Once we see a heartbeat we'll start telling our family, but casually in conversation. I want that naive optimism back. One more thing pregnancy loss has taken away. 

    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? Team dog! My buddy Domino is so chill. He's super cuddly and sweet and protective. The cat "nips" which is NOT cute. He doesn't try to snuggle unless we have food. I don't think he understands his role as a pet. 

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc? Oh wow... I hadn't thought about this. last year the loss was so fresh. Then we got married mid-December. Christmas I was doing everything in my power to just hold it together, then my SIL announced her pregnancy, so I pretty much switched to "auto-pilot" to get through Christmas Day. @pghctwife I like your ornament idea. I think it's nice to have a little reminder of our babies during the holidays. I might steal that from you. 

    pghctwifehezzer78
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  4W6D

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Not a ton of symptoms so a little freaked but it is very early.

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  I agree with the thinking "if I have a baby in August" part.... I was never really reassured even in the pregnancy for my 2 year old until I could feel kicks every day.

    4. When is your next appointment? Still trying to get through to the nurse line so that they can stupidly verify that I did get a positive pregnancy test until I can schedule an appointment.  They never ever answer and call back when I am stuck in my office area that is not private and not willing to let my 3 other coworkers know yet.  Will try for the 4th time on my lunch break.... wish me luck!

    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  See question above LOL!

    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?  DOG!  I have 2 boxers and they are amazing.  Also I am allergic to cats.


    TTC #1 since July 2013
    1/7/14 - BFP!  MC 2/15/14
    12/22/2014 - BFP!  EDD 8/16/2015 TEAM GREEN
    DD Born 7/28/15 - Induced at 37 weeks due to cholestasis
    TTC #2 since 01/2017
    7/2/2017 - BFP!  MC confirmed 7/31/2017
    9/8/2017 - BFP!  MC confirmed 9/22/2017
    12/4/2017 - BFP!  Hoping for a rainbow!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  •     
  • . How far along are you? Any milestones?  5w4d


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I have no symptoms so far.  With my son I had no symptoms either.  With my mm I was so nauseous.  


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  I'm not having a lot of anxiety, just dread I guess.  My miscarriage was really traumatic for me and I don't know how I could make it through another one.  It was a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks 4 days, so I have a lot of doubt.  Even when I will see a heartbeat I know I won't rest knowing that at any time that heartbeat can stop :*(.  I've considered getting a Doppler but haven't yet.  


    4. When is your next appointment? This coming Monday is my intake with a nurse.  Then I will be able to schedule my first ultrasound.  Confession, I lied about my lmp so I could hopefully schedule an ultrasound earlier.


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  Nothing


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? Dog! Cats are too independent.

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  6+6; december will be hard for me. 12/3 was my due date. 12/15 I was induced. 12/16 I gave birth. 12/21 we took my daughter off life support. Big, sad month for me.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Nausea and actual vomit now. SO very tired. 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  I wish I would get an ultrasound earlier. Its going to be hard this  month. Mostly, I don't know what I am supposed to do on DD's birthday and what my family expects from me regarding this first anniversary. I don't want to have to do stuff for them, and in some cases (my MIL) I think they are more of a mess than I am, which makes me feel bad, like, am i supposed to be a ball of tears all day every day during this month? Is something wrong with me? My MIL says all she can think about is the impending birth date of my daughter. Really? I know when it is but it doesn't run through my head every minute of every day. Is that bad? So currently, I am anxious about not feeling depressed and anxious every single day.


    4. When is your next appointment? Tomorrow! But just at a birth center, where they basically just high five me after I pee on a stick and turn it positive and then schedule me to come to a birth group where they try and scare me with how low intervention they are so I can decide if med free is for me! 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? Team cat AND dog. And Goat. No goats anymore but I'd take goats over my dogs any day.

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc 

    My mom died Jan 2015 so we have been celebrating xmas without her for awhile. We just make the same things we used to when she was alive food wise, including cookies. I have a set of cookie cutters she gave me when i got married, along with a cookie press, so we do those. I don't know what I'll do for my DD this year, still thinking on it.

  •     
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  4weeks. I feel like my biggest milestone will be getting the genetic screening tests back, since my loss was due to a genetic disorder. If that's all clear, I will feel a lot better. My loss was at 16 weeks along, so that will be another big milestone for me. Long wait ahead!


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I was super nauseous the other day, but that's gotten a lot better. Mainly just food aversions right now. 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  
    Pretty anxious but I'm trying to ignore it. 


    4. When is your next appointment? 
    I have a weird group appointment that's an intro to the hospital/doctors/getting pregnant on Dec 21st. I really don't want to go because I've done this all before and I have PGAL brain so I can't get too excited yet! It'll still be hard to be around other newly pregnant women. My 1st real appointment is Jan 9th, and I get to have an ultrasound then. 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  See above about the group appointment. I also just want to say it's so helpful reading everyone else's posts here. It feels good to hear others feeling and thinking the same things as me. As much as it sucks to feel and think these things.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? I love both. I have cats right now, and we are thinking about getting a dog. And we have 3 chickens. :)

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: Oh my, nothing as of right now. I think it'd be nice to get an ornament for my baby boy, but I might not be ready for that yet. But if not now, when? I'll probably not do anything.


    @SmashJam This is a really tough month for you! *hugs* and feel whatever you gotta feel, and don't feel bad about it!

    @coffeecocktailsandcake lol I love that you lied about your lmp.... I told the truth about my lmp, but I did not tell them that I ovulated late in hopes that I would get in sooner. It didn't work out for me though, my first appointment is when I'm 9weeks I think. 

    @jlo629 Good luck getting your appointment! That sounds pretty annoying.

    @leahcimmichael Ah I do that too where I am just stoked when I go to the bathroom and there's no blood. Not that that even happened with my MC, I'm just kind of dreading the worst right now

    @mrslittlemac that's so cool you have a ferret! 

    @pghctwife I totally 100% agree with the crystal ball. If only we could know. 

    SmashJammrslittlemachezzer78
  • @SmashJam I'm so so sorry.  I have no advice, just that I think you are allowed to cope in any way you want.  Even if that means not having the reaction people expect or have themselves.

    When I had my miscarriage I reached out to a group of women who briefly shared their experiences with me.  It helped me, but also made me so sad that so many women had experienced this.  But every single one of them went on to have a healthy pregnancy later, I'm trying to keep that in mind.
    SmashJammrslittlemac
  •     
  • @coffeecocktailsandcake I love hearing stories of women who went through similar experiences. Mostly because sometimes I never even knew and they seemed totally normal! Back when I was really having a hard time it was nice to think, "Oh, I might be normal sometime in the future! THese women are normal!"
  • @SmashJam first of all hugs. Second grief is different for everyone, you are feeling exactly how you are supposed to feel. Don’t let anyone else make you feel otherwise. Next time MIL brings it up I’d just kindly mention you don’t want to talk about it and want to focus if making the holidays a joyful occasion.

    1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  4wks today 


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)  my back has really been bothering me the last few days, hungry and thirsty. 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  
    To soon to tell, I’m a fairly anxious person by nature already. I think I’ll be a ball of nerves until my first US and likely until I start getting a kicker. I’m honestly nervous about the BMB this go around. There are in general at least one loss and I’m not sure how I’m going to take them this go around. I really just hope we don’t have any.


    4. When is your next appointment? 
    Calling to schedule this morning but knowing how my OB does things it will be the week after Christmas. 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  I’m also in the trying not to get overly excited yet. PGAL Brain sucks and sucks away joy. I’m not looking forward to talking to DH about telling family. I want to tell parents and my sister now because I don’t want to blindside them again if things go south. I don’t think he’ll be on board but will like say ok the appease me.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? I like both but my heart is with team cat. We’d like a couple cats, and I’d love a corgi and beagle. Although only doing shelters will make that near impossible.

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc? I was in a major funk putting up my tree this year. Things have changed so much in past 3 years and I’ve really struggled since. I hate change even when it makes sense. And since we don’t have DHs kids Christmas Day it’s been hard to form new traditions. Maybe now that DS is older. I bought an ornament to remember our loss, it’s an angel and says our little angel and has a couple baby feet.



    Me: 33 DH: 44
    Married: June 2013
    Step children: DSS-1998 DSD-2002
    DS: 11/2014
    BFP: 7/29/17 Confirmed m/c 8/22



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  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  5 weeks 1 Day.  No milestones yet.  My previous pregnancy the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks but I didn't find out until 8 weeks, so possibly a milestone.. I just don't know about it yet.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) My boobs feel different.  Tingly and "lightning boob" every now and then.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Decent.  Some days are better than others.  I try to find comfort in statistics, but seeing as how I didn't know the baby stopped growing until 8 weeks I can't really count on that until after my ultrasound in a few weeks.


    4. When is your next appointment? Dec 29th is my first ultrasound at 8w2d


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  Today is my wedding anniversary.  4 years.  My husband is in remission from cancer right now.  Last year we spent our anniversary in the hospital due to his cancer treatment so I'm just thankful to have him here another year to celebrate.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? Team Both!  Though if my cat keeps barfing on my new carpet I'll have to re-evaluate. 

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?  I'm going to be getting an ornament for the baby I lost earlier this year.  I feel guilty getting one with all of our names on it and not including him/her, so I'm going to get them their own special ornament.

     

  • @pghctwife Sorry to hear about your SIL.  My husband's grandma died the Monday before Thanksgiving, so it's the proverbial empty chair at the holidays.

     

  •     
  • Hi all,

    This is my first time venturing on to the pregnancy side of the boards.  I’ve been/am active on the infertility boards.   

    1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  4weeks, 3days (life gets pretty exact when you do IVF :P) I’ve actually never has a second blood test go up so this is the farthest I have ever gotten. 

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms).  Sore boobs and tired.  Otherwise pretty good.  My stomach seems off but I wouldn’t really call it nauseous I know it sounds crazy but I keep hoping for sickness to kick in.

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  Hanging in there.  The positive test did trigger a little meltdown lots of crying I can’t do this again.  My doctors office does a beta HCG and then checks 2 days later to see if it doubles.  It did so that gave me some hope.  Still nervous. 

    4. When is your next appointment? I have an ultrasound to check for the heartbeat on 12/18. 

    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  Dear Diary, is it finally my turn?  And if it is please shut my brain up so I can enjoy this.  Isn’t in awful enough that is was so hard to get here and now I just live in a state of anxiety.  I want that tears of joy not tears of fear.   

    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?  Dog! Because they let me cuddle them on my terms J

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?  We sponser three children to buy Christmas gifts for one for each of our CPs. 

    Me:36 DW:31  
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for PGS = 2 Normals in the bank! 
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - Awaiting PGS results
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!! Beta#1 - 63, Beta#2- 128, u/s scheduled 12/18
  • @2MomsHoping That is an awesome idea buying for children to represent your losses. We started donating a box to Samaritans Purse last Christmas to help get DS into giving to others. I think that next year I may use your idea and do 3 boxes. 


    Me: 33 DH: 44
    Married: June 2013
    Step children: DSS-1998 DSD-2002
    DS: 11/2014
    BFP: 7/29/17 Confirmed m/c 8/22



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  • eleanorlinuseleanorlinus member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Comment Photogenic
    edited December 7

    1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  4w4d. This is the exactly where I was when I had my CP two months ago, so maybe tomorrow will be a personal milestone.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Mostly just sore boobs, but I like that because it makes me feel like yes, I'm still pregnant. Also I have to pee a lot, but that could largely be due to the amount of water I'm drinking.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) 
    I'm trying to stay positive. For some reason I have a good feeling about this one. I get nervous every time I wipe, but have such a huge feeling of relief when there's no blood. I've been eating like I'm some kind of health nut... I mean, I was relatively healthy before, but now I'm to the point where I'm sort of obsessing over every single thing I put into my body. It's getting a little ridiculous, but DH is being quite the sport about it. My anxiety is up and down -- I go back and forth between expecting the worst and thinking everything's gonna be fine. Even in the amount of time it took me to type this paragraph, I've had those conflicting thoughts.


    4. When is your next appointment? 
    December 28... hoping for good news for the holidays.


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  OK, so in early September, DH and I got married. We weren't actively trying for a baby, but we weren't NOT trying, either. At the beginning of October, I got a BFP after missing my period, and I was totally shocked, overwhelmed, and basically couldn't believe it. Then 3 days later, exactly one month after our wedding, I had a CP, and I was devastated. It was such an incredible roller coaster of emotions, in just 3 days -- shocked, scared, excited, then devastated. At the beginning of November, my sister-in-law and my brother had their first LO, after trying for 6 years. DH and I met that little nugget, were asked to be godparents, and both went baby crazy. I started eating "fertility bread" and reading up on "how to get pregnant fast." I was all set to drop $250 on the Ava bracelet. Well, apparently fertility wasn't the issue and my timing was fine, because I got another BFP December 1. Now I split my time worrying that my body just isn't cut out to carry a baby, and thinking "there's no way I could have another CP, right?" Sigh.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? I really can't choose. I have one of each, and love them both dearly. The dog (some sort of Spaniel mix -- Cocker-ish face, Springer-ish body) is definitely more into me, but the cat can be a real sweetheart, and his shenanigans crack me up.


  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    5 weeks 3 days. Today is my milestone - with my first pregnancy this was the day I started cramping and bleeding and found out something was not right. of all three pregnancies this is the furthest I've ever gone without complications. 


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Feeling good. I've had bloating but it's settled down. Sore boobs, tired! And running to the restroom as often as every 30 minutes sometimes. 


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    I think passing this milestone is both good and bad. Good because I made it! Bad because now I have no idea what comes next. And of course I'm scared to get attached to this pregnancy before I see the doctor and have an ultrasound. So I guess I'm doing okay but haven't been able to connect with the pregnancy yet at all. 


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    Dec. 22. I'll be 7+1. Just the regular confirmation appt with an ultrasound. 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    Why is it that if I've had three losses, I'm not offered betas or any kind of early confirmation? I feel like my doc thinks I'm crazy. Also, she put me on progesterone and baby aspirin and acts like its some miracle drug - so if I'm not bleeding they don't want to hear from me until my appt. and I think it's working but can't anybody check? They haven't even mentioned blood draws to see where my progesterone is at. #endrant


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?

    Dog! My dog is my child, for sure, and I'm that crazy person talking to and greeting dogs on the street without acknowledging their owners. 

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?


    eleanorlinus
  •     
  • @kindbytealikat I agree about the losses on here. They add to the worry. With my first I left the board bc the losses freaked me out and then it was hard to go back, so I don’t have a bmb for him. 

    @bridgetkoch congrats on the milestone! I think we are due date twins -8/9? I’m on progesterone and baby aspirin and a bunch of other stuff too, but no monitoring. Not much that can be done really. 




    11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
    05/2017 cp
    08/03/17 no hb 8w

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    5 weeks this pregnancy timeline is about 2 weeks off of my loss  

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Tired, nauseous  

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    It’s like walking on pins and needles. We have a rainbow baby. However the anxiety I had my last pregnancy has come rushing back. I ruined my pregnancy last time because I was scared to get excited. I didn’t tell people I was pregnant for a long time. I wouldn’t buy anything and didn’t want people to know, just encase. I was made to feel like I disappointed a lot of people with my miscarriage.  


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    January 
    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    Please dear God let us have all have Healthy babies. 


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? 

    Both 

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?


    eleanorlinus
  •     
  • @kindbytealikat thanks for the support. Also...love me some corgis! I have three. I shopped for all three of them HOWEVER, two of them were "rescued" from a breeder who had no business doing what she was doing. We took their last two females, hoping they would be done breeding. 

    @eleanorlinus we are appointment twins! I have mine on Dec 28th as well!
    eleanorlinus
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  5w+1d  - no milestones yet. Lost the last two at 6w6d (the same day), so I'll be keeping my FX til then.


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Pretty normal -just crazy tired. I'm getting over being sick so that may be something to do with it too. I'll be happier when my boobs are sore and I feel a little queasy.


    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  
    Doing ok. Just trying to take it one day at a time. Don't want to stress too much, but I also want to acknowledge the excitement and joy so I'm trying to be cautiously optimistic.


    4. When is your next appointment? 
    I had betas drawn today and will have them again on Wed. I imagine she will get me in sometime my 6th week for a trans US.


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  Kind of excited, but like I mentioned before, cautiously so. This is the first pregnancy after my uterine surgery so I'm hoping everything is working correctly now - FX.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?  I used to be team dog but I think now I'm team both with a slight lean towards cats.  I love their independence and personalities. And their cuddles. 

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?

    Not really - our two losses were pretty hard on us, and we hadn't told any of our other family members about the pregnancies before hand, so we just kind of quietly grieve. 


  •     
  • Just got my ultrasound scheduled for the 28th in the afternoon. And in doing so had a huge massive wave of anxiety flood over me. Sigh…

    Theres a reason I was putting it off. All the feelings from my bad ultrasounds cane flooding back. 

    But, it’s after Christmas because god forbid, I don’t want it to ruin my Christmas. And it’s at 8w, later than both my babies died. 




    11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
    05/2017 cp
    08/03/17 no hb 8w

    SmashJam
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 

    4 weeks I think. 


    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Tired and a little nausea 

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    Worried this one will end like the last one


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    I haven’t called the doctor yet. I’m gonna wait till 7 weeks to call I think. 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  just worried 


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? Dog

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc? No, but that is a good idea.


  •     
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

      6 weeks 2days
    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Nauseous, sore boobs, mild cramping occassionally
    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    I'm very nervous. I'm scared to get too excited. I had a missed miscarriage at 11wks. My body did not release the baby on it's own. It was very traumatic for me. In addition, I had to collect samples for genetic testing.
    4. When is your next appointment? 

    My 1st appointment is December 18th
    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    It annoys me that I have a in-law who takes the incident lightly and make insensitive comments like "I don't don't see the big deal people make about miscarriages".
    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? Team Cat

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?

  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

    5 weeks today. I suppose my milestone will be making it past week 10; my 2 MMCs happened sometime in the 9th week.  

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    Sore boobs and frequent urination are reassuring. Early bedtimes are also now my favorite hobby.

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

    I’m an absolute basketcase. I’m so scared of being excited. Every trip to the bathroom without a pink wipe is a delight, however.

    4. When is your next appointment? 

    3 successful betas deep. Have an ultrasound on Thursday though I’m not sure why. My confirmation of pregnancy appt is scheduled for 12/30. 

    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    As much as others want monitoring and intervention, there’s nothing that can be done to prevent a loss if it’s genetic. I wish my doc would spare me the stress of all of the labs. I sincerely think I have PTSD from transvaginal ultrasounds and the bad news they’ve brought in the past. PGAL leaves me so jaded...

    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why? 

    Dog. I have a 12 1/2 year old golden retriever and he is family.

  •     
  • NAP1029 said:


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    As much as others want monitoring and intervention, there’s nothing that can be done to prevent a loss if it’s genetic. I wish my doc would spare me the stress of all of the labs. I sincerely think I have PTSD from transvaginal ultrasounds and the bad news they’ve brought in the past. PGAL leaves me so jaded...


    I am sooooooo with you. My losses also seemed to be genetic. There were deformities notes with yolk sac the second loss and all my multitude of tests came up with ok. I was really expecting diminished egg reserve (I’m 37 and had an ovary removed when I was 20, which can be associated with early menopause and therefor early fertility issues) and can mean crummier egg quality. 

    ANYHOW. Mine were after the heart was beating. Not a progesterone issue that can be supplemented. 

    For me what will be already is, just have to wait to know. I had the roller coaster of a good u/s both times followed by bad. I told my mw I don’t want my u/s till later. I won’t trust a 6w heartbeat anyhow.

    And yes. The ptsd from those transvag u/s. Omg yes. Just the drive there, pulling into the parking lot (mine are at a different place than my provider). I know where I parked each time. What I wore. Where I sat in the waiting room. Ugh. 




    11/18/16 missed m/c 9w1
    05/2017 cp
    08/03/17 no hb 8w

    NAP1029
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    Not quite 4 weeks. My EDD is Aug 24th. No milestones yet but I have my first doctors appointment on Thursday.
    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    I’m feeling bloated, cranky, hangry, have breast tenderness and had a little bit of nausea.

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    I’m soooo anxious. I had a missed miscarriage in March  at 9w5d. The baby’s heartbeat stopped at 8w.  I want to be excited right now but I’m too afraid to get my hopes up  I’m not telling anyone except my husband and bff until the 2nd trimester.  I’ve taken 4 pregnancy tests and all were positive but with very faint lines. I know I’m extremely early and most women don’t even test this early bus the faint line scares me. It’s just PGAL brain I’m sure. 


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    My first appointment will be this Thursday


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    The faint lines on the pregnancy test are making scared that I will have a chemical pregnancy and that I shouldn’t have tested so early.


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?

    Team Dog, I don’t have any pets but if I did it would be a boxer puppy. I had one growing up and he was amazing. So gentle with children, very playful and all around sweet. Love those gentle giants.



  •     
  • 1. How far along are you? Any milestones?  

    No idea I ovulated late, didn’t get a positive until way later. It was all very confusing at first. Wasn’t getting a period and wasn’t getting positives. Even beta was negative. Hoping I get an estimated date this weekend at my appointment. 

    2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) 

    dizzy all day feels like. And super tired  I can sleep all day if I could, no energy. Seems like symptoms are more than with  DS.  

    3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)  

    Extremely anxious. Tomorrow will be a year since I had an ectopic pregnancy resulting in the loss of my right tube. It was the most physical and emotional pain I have ever experienced in my life. Very much a traumatic event. Rushed to ER had emergency surgery. I have not a single family member near by, didn’t have anyone to care for my DS (who was 10 months at the time) ugh all in all a very bad situation. 

    Haven’t talked to anyone about it since,   except DH. It’s all a fuzzy memory in my head.

    I also had a chemical in October this year. 

    I did have an early ultrasound to rule out ectopic this time. I was so nervous bc I wasn’t getting positives just like last year. But baby has implanted in right place! So happy. 

    BUT I still feel anxious. Honestly, I think I will feel this way until I have a baby in my arms. I feel guilty I’m not enjoying this pregnancy and be 100% happy and excited as I was with DS. 

    I want to tell immediate family so bad but I’m  too scared :( 


    4. When is your next appointment? 

    Saturday 


    5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)  

    See above hehe  


    6. GTKY- Team Cat or Team Dog, or Team other animal? Why?

    Team dog. Though, I’ve never had a pet! My mom was allergic to everything so we didn’t have them growing up. Then I became an adult and was busy adulting so didn’t get one. 

    But I want to eventually get a puppy :)

    7. Bonus TW Filled GTKY: The holidays can be a difficult time for anyone who has lost a pregnancy/child/family member, regardless of when the loss occurred. This GTKY is about missing family members as well as loss of pregnancy or child: How do remember those lost to you during the holidays? Do you have a tradition you incorporate to remember them, periods of reflection, etc?

    Last year, it was so recent that I didn’t even want the topic brought up. And this year I haven’t even thought about doing anything. So idk yet. 

  • I know what you ladies mean by traumatic ultrasounds. I changed both my provider and the hospital this time around to the one I used when I had a successful pregnancy with my daughter.  I'm still dreading the first ultrasound scheduled January 9th though. 
    mamaekNAP1029
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