*TMI* STM+ AMA - Labour, Birth, Pushing, Postpartum and all that fun stuff

failuretofly

All right Ladies, 

Not that we've really censored ourselves too much so far, but I thought I'd make a place for all the FTMs to ask those dirty questions you've always been wondering about labor, birth, pushing, postpartum, placentas, bleeding, pooping, sex, and all that other *lovely* stuff that goes along with welcoming a new bundle of joy into the world!

No question is stupid. No answer is too graphic. No TMI warnings required. 

elcd458

I know we have a lot of CS mamas on this board, so some of this may not apply, but here goes:

-Did your water actually break on its own?
-Did you use the pads/mesh undies/Peri bottle the hospital provided or did you take your own special something?
-Compared to your period, how much did you bleed postpartum and for how long?

I AM SCARED SHITLESS YOU GUYS.  Hold me.

alysapuggles

@elcd458 My water did break on its own, at 36w4d, and I was not expecting it at all! Happened when I got out of bed one morning, and there was no question what it was because there was a lot and it just gushes out, no control over it.

I did use their supplies while I was there and took some with me. I used the Peri bottle for a while but ditched the huge pads and mesh undies for my own. I much prefer the super thin pads, and they seemed to be adequate. It was just too much stuff between my swollen self, huge pads, Tucks pads, etc.

I can't remember exactly how long I bled, but it was comparable to the heavier part of my periods. I was expecting worse actually. The only major difference was a lot more solid tissue/clots, which was not pleasant, but mostly it was just annoying.

failuretofly

@elcd458 breathe, breathe, it's going to be okay! 

-Did your water actually break on its own?
Sure did, in my sleep!
-Did you use the pads/mesh undies/Peri bottle the hospital provided or did you take your own special something?
Mesh panties all the way! And I used the frozen pads from the hospital immediately after but otherwise I was home within 3 hours so it was all my own stuff after. I didn't tear so I didn't use the peri bottle at all.
-Compared to your period, how much did you bleed postpartum and for how long?
I think I was down to liners after 1 week, then done bleeding at 2 weeks. My periods were usually 5 days, with 1 HEAVY day and 4 light days. 

skc040512

@elcd458 my water broke on it’s own (I feel like this board has a large number of ladies who this happened to. Mine broke at 39+2 and I had to be induced because my contractions never progressed). Thankfully, I was at home sitting on the couch, eating Ben & Jerry’s!

I totally used the mesh panties and giant pads from the hospital, but switched to some soft cotton underwear (total grannie panties that were a size bigger) and regular pads after about 5 days. I used the peri bottle for about 3 weeks because I tore in 2 places and it took me forever to heal.

As for bleeding, I bled a freaking ton. My period usually lasts 4 days and is fairly light. I had a super heavy “period” for about 2 weeks after deliver, and had a ton of clots like @alysapuggles said. After about 2 weeks, I spotted for almost another 3 weeks, so definitely stock up on liners just in case! I had completely stopped bleeding by my 6 week post partum check up, but started my period 5 days later. Whomp whomp. 

elcd458

@alysapuggles @failuretofly
Good to know it's not necessarily a horror show. The reason I asked is because I was telling my mom the other day (who, keep in mind, has done this twice) that I had packed some Depends, my preferred brand of maxi pads, and cheapo black undies in my go-bag, and she kept acting like it was for when my water breaks. I kept saying "No mom, for all the bleeding" and I swear her reaction was more or less "what bleeding?" ... so either she barely had any postpartum gore happening, or has put a complete mental block on it after 30 years 

EDIT: @Skcobb Gotcha! Noted.  If I can survive to this weekend I'm making a Costco run for bulk liners. Hahaha.  I was over at your hospital this morning for something work-related and wondered how you were doing! Glad to see you're still hanging in there! 

tmk0325

My water also broke on it's own with my boys (still waiting on this one) and I was in bed.  It was like a water balloon bursting. I had a c-section and used the mesh panties, liners, and the bottle as you still bleed and what not down there.  I remember having to do that for about a week.  

lavashiner

@elcd458
-Did your water actually break on its own?
Kind of--it started trickling just before contractions started, but wasn't a gush. My doula thought that baby was blocking most of the sac, so I just trickled the whole time.

-Did you use the pads/mesh undies/Peri bottle the hospital provided or did you take your own special something?
I got disposable cotton pads since regular pads irritate my skin.

-Compared to your period, how much did you bleed postpartum and for how long?
I didn't bleed very much at all. It was like a period for a week maybe? I had been expecting worse.

lavashiner

I have a question: anyone get an IUD right after labor? Or did you wait? I am thinking about waiting, but my doc said some women get it inserted right then and there.

failuretofly

@lavashiner I'm pretty sure you can't get it until your 6 week check up? Your uterus essentially has a giant wound within it where the placenta was attached that can take up to 6 weeks to heal (hence why you bleed). I can't see putting an IUD in there a good idea. Perhaps your doc meant at your 6 week appointment?

darkfyre

@lavashiner Having had 2 IUDs (copper T) this seems like a really bad idea. (And I'm pretty surprised it was offered before 6 weeks) Between birth and 6 weeks the size shape and position of your uterus are going to change A LOT. And more than likely you will be losing large clots. This is a recipe for a displaced is not totally expelled IUD. (Displacement being the worst case since it would be ineffective and yet you could not realize anything was amiss.)

lavashiner

@failuretofly & @darkfyre she did say at labor, and when I researched it online I found that more and more people are doing it (there is an ACOG article about it), although expulsion rates are higher (a fact my OB told me). That said, I had the same reaction as you, hence my curiosity. I won't need birth control in the first 6 weeks anyway. hahahaha. I think my HMO is just hot to get women on birth control ASAP.

@darkfyre did you have a good experience with the copper IUD? I'm trying to decide between Mirena or copper--my periods aren't typically that bad, so I feel like I could go either way.

KayLee77

-Did your water actually break on its own?
First DS - they broke my water. 2nd DS - it broke on its own but it was in the hospital.  I thought I had peed myself, I didnt realize what happened at first. 

-Did you use the pads/mesh undies/Peri bottle the hospital provided or did you take your own special something?
I used the stuff the hospital provided while in the hospital, Then they give you a bunch of stuff to take home, so at  home I used it all except for the underwear - I used my own. 

-Compared to your period, how much did you bleed postpartum and for how long?  
I can't really remember how long I did with my first, but I know with my 2nd, it was heavy for the first couple of days and then it went down to just light bleeding. 

cait5413

-Did your water actually break on its own? Nope. Induction followed by c-section. My doc broke my water

-Did you use the pads/mesh undies/Peri bottle the hospital provided or did you take your own special something? Yes, used the pads and mesh undies while in the hospital and maybe for a day at home? Then regular heavy-level pads with undies. No need for Peri bottle with c-section. 

-Compared to your period, how much did you bleed postpartum and for how long? The heavy bleeding was worse than a period, but didn't last that long. Overall bleeding/discharge/lochia went on for weeks, though. And then I got my period when DD was 3 months old. And yes, I was breastfeeding. So, don't assume it won't come back til you stop breastfeeding (though other women may not get it back until weeks/months after they stop breastfeeding). 

ashtynmo

Question: Does sex 6weeks post-partum actually happen? I think I will feel obligated after 6+ weeks of no sex for my husband's sake but I'm curious how it really goes down for people.

skc040512

@ashtynmo DH and I did it the day after I got the all clear at my 6 week. BUT it took us almost 6 months to get back to normal, between some mild PPD and discomfort on my part (the areas where I tore were super tense, and it took forever for me to feel “normal” down there again, but a lot of women don’t have any kind of issues after they’re fully healed)

Marley629

@ashtynmo I think you will get a lot of varied answers for this. For us, we didn't  until about 3 months PP - mainly due to exhaustion from caring for a newborn and in part of both of us being "afraid" to initiate for lack of a better word. 

cait5413

@ashtynmo DH wanted to, so we did it pretty close to 6 weeks after, but it wasn't very enjoyable for me (I was nervous about it, not exactly feeling sexy, and lots of lube is helpful). I was kind of glad we did it, though, because I had been dreading it and once it was done, we could get somewhat more back to normal after that, and I knew better what to expect so I could relax more. 

sjis

Did your water actually break on its own?

nope. Labor was not progressing fast enough so the dr manually broke my water. They used a long plastic chopstick thing with a hook at the end of it. 

-Did you use the pads/mesh undies/Peri bottle the hospital provided or did you take your own special something?

i used them all and then some. They also supplied me with a few instant cooling/ice pads which was very nice!

-Compared to your period, how much did you bleed postpartum and for how long?

id say pretty heavy for two weeks and then it tapered off fairly quickly. 

In response to @ashtynmo we had sex 4 weeks after. My ob said 4 weeks is ok, depending on if everything checks out, but 6 weeks is preferred. Honestly it was not a great experience and it hurt. I was self conscious and we did it more for the fact that we wanted to get back to normal. This time I’m giving myself way more time to heal. Use plenty of lube!

failuretofly

@ashtynmo we tried for the first time at 3 weeks pp after my midwife gave the go ahead.... 
I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS. 
I think it sent me down a bit of a fear spiral that made sex excruciating for at least 6 months afterwards. I developed what is called vaginismus where your pelvic floor muscles become so tense that penetration is very painful, usually because of fear. In addition, breastfeeding resulted in lack of estrogen which made my vaginal tissues extremely sensitive. Estrogen cream made a WORLD of difference as well as pelvic floor physical therapy. What did NOT help? My midwife telling me to drink some wine and use lube. Lube made zero difference and wine just made me cry. 
This time we will wait the full six weeks and I will be requesting an estrogen prescription that u will use well in advance.

mrsare

ladies, ive been having this question burning in my mind for months.. ive read a ton that your breast milk doesnt come in till about 3-4 days pp but ive also read from some of you ladies (both FTM & STM+) that you have experienced leaking already. im petrified im going to be unsucessful at breastfeeding because my nips have been dry as a bone so my question is does no leaking thru out pregnancy really mean anything? could it be no leaks and the flood gates open up on day 3 or 4?

also, for those who have had unmedicated births.. are you doing it again this time? im considering having an unmedicated birth (if all is well with baby and i) since i am TERRIFIED of a spinal. i feel like the possibility if it not working, the anesthesiologist inserting it incorrectly or that the effects linger way past delivery are super risky and scaring me more than the idea of labor.. ive heard horror stories of each of these things happening during labor for women hence it making me think twice and 3 times about an epidural..  hoping for some positive vibes for team epidural.. 

skc040512

@mrsare I leaked nothing with DD, but I had a ton of milk can me in 3 days pp. I was able to pump for 4 months (ppd and some lingering illnesses made me stop). Every woman is different, so don’t worry if you don’t see any milk right now! 

Also, I had a medicated birth, but was terrified of the spinal as well. Thank the lord I did it anyway because in my case, it’s what allowed my body to relax and dialate from a 4 to a 10 when I was 3 hours from needing a C section (I was coming up on the time limit my dr has for going vaginal after your water breaks). Follow what your body is telling you, and don’t sweat it! Going medicated vs unmedicated isn’t the end of the world either way, so don’t stress yourself out too much, but do make your wishes known to your nurses!

edited for spelling

KayLee77

@mrsare With both my boys, I didn't leak at all during their pregnancies. Milk came in around 3ish days. I was able to nurse them both for 13 and 14 months and had enough breastmilk stored till they were 18 months.   So leaking doesn't mean anything, its just how some womens bodies handle pregnancy.  

I had an epidural with my first, and unmedicated with my second.  I had a 2 hour labor with my second, and 45 minutes of that time was us driving to the hospital. So I had no choice to go unmedicated, I had him about 30 minutes after getting there.  I honestly felt better after the unmedicated birth, so I will try to go unmedicated again with this one, but I will have no problem giving into an epidural either if it turns out to be a longer labor.  I will just go with the flow of it all. 

oncape100615

@lavashiner I have always had fairly light periods and figured the copper IUD wouldn’t be a big deal. My OB also told me that it would lighten up (not to my usual lightness, but the heavy period side effect would improve) I had it in for about 16 months and the periods only got heavier. I was DESTROYING clothes. Also heavily stained my couch. Was going through super plus tampons in 2 hours for at least an entire day. Then I’d have 2-3 more heavy days. Then 2 medium-light days, so an entire week and I had to double down on pads and tampons to attempt to salvage my clothes which is uncomfortable. I tried to power through but I couldn’t take it. 

kimbo2015

@mrsare I had an unmedicated birth with my daughter and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought! I didn't have a choice because I labored so fast though but I am going to try it again this time around for sure. I'm not against epidural but like you they terrify me! I think I'll have to be in a lot of pain for quite a while before I'd get it just because the whole needle in the spine thing freaks me out a bit. Either way in the moment you probably won't care nearly as much as you do right now and neither way is "better."

As for the milk supply question I never leaked with my first and I haven't this time yet either. I got my milk in on day 2 I believe and had no issue. I only was able to breastfeed for around 2 months because my daughter had bad reflux and wasn't eating enough but we didn't catch it in time to save my supply with pumping. Don't worry about not leaking everyone is different and I don't feel it means a thing!

failuretofly

@mrsare I was unmedicated with DS and I am actually looking forward to doing it again! I feel like I learned SO much about my body and I can't wait to use what I learned this time around. 

I also NEVER leaked with DS and I ended up with oversupply because DS was a champ at the breast. The key is getting a good latch early on! I also haven't leaked at all this time around, I was actually still BFing DS when I got pregnant and my milk completely dried up about 10 weeks in. I have zero concerns that means anything about how much milk o will make for baby!

mrsare

thank you ladies! all of your input has put my mind at ease and im looking forward to just going with the flow and trusting my body!

alysapuggles

@ashtynmo

For me anyway, I waited longer. I had some bad tearing that took a while to heal, and I was just not mentally ready at that point either. It may be entirely different for you, but between that and lack of sleep, etc., I was just not ready. SO was very understanding though, and it didn't last forever, but it was still painful/not really enjoyable for me for the better part of a year.

flowerpower5838

alysapuggles said:

@ashtynmo

For me anyway, I waited longer. I had some bad tearing that took a while to heal, and I was just not mentally ready at that point either. It may be entirely different for you, but between that and lack of sleep, etc., I was just not ready. SO was very understanding though, and it didn't last forever, but it was still painful/not really enjoyable for me for the better part of a year.

SAME. Bad tearing + breast feeding dryness + exhaustion = no sex for a while. Doctor's orders til about 10 weeks PP, but I think we finally boned around 12 weeks pp? It wasn't great for a while and lube will definitely be your friend. 

As for the milk question, I am about the same as @failuretofly. No leaks during pregnancy, good supply after, didn't dry up until I got pregnant! 

splsmama2016

@mrsare I’ve been leaking since about 20weeks. Same with DD1, and my milk room for-ev-errrrrrr to come in with her. And after it did, i still had a lot of issues. 

As far as unmedicated births go, i have a huge phobia of needles and wanted to put it off as long as possible. However the pain from pitocin contractions were stronger than my fear and i went for it. I had a negative reaction (learned the hard way I’m allergic to fentanyl!!) and had to be injected with epinephrine. I’ll still be getting some form of spinal with this one.