Anyone else scared something will go wrong? — The Bump
Pregnant after a Loss

Anyone else scared something will go wrong?

I'm having such a hard time relaxing and enjoying this pregnancy. I had trouble conceiving my now 2.5 year old....then we started trying for baby #2. I miscarried twins at 8 weeks in March. I had chemical pregnancies in May and June. Due to bad eggs the fertility doc said I'd probably need donor eggs and IVF...but said I could go ahead and try the progesterone my OB prescribed.  Guess that did the trick because I conceived in July...now 21 weeks and due April 10th!
I'm so happy! But I'm also terrified to relax and let myself be happy. All the tests have been normal. I have an anterior placenta so I don't feel as much movement, which makes me worry more.
Anyone out there have fears too being pregnant after loss? Any tips on how to cope?
BusinessWifebusymama84

Re: Anyone else scared something will go wrong?

  • I worry as well. I had a missed miscarriage in October 2016 (baby #2). I was devestated. When I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. I was immediately overwhelmed with anxiety. My sister-in-law and I prayed about it and gave it to GOD. A cousin of mine experienced the same thing. She told me to not let my loss still my joy for this pregnancy. That has stuck with me every time I get scared to be happy. 
    BusinessWife
  • I’m so scared to be happy. It’s like, if I stay weary and don’t get excited about it, then it will hurt less if I miscarry. 
    runninginva
  • Completely understand :( I’m 14 weeks and have seen baby progress and is on track but I’m in my head.. :( we had an ultrasound last week and baby was very lazy so it makes me nervous my other 2 were movers and shakers.. I’m not sure, that feeling ever goes away once you experience loss.
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  • BusinessWifeBusinessWife member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2
    Hang in there (((hugs)))  I know it's hard to get your hopes up and plan when you feel they could be torn away.  Have you thought about talking to a therapist who really understands mc and loss?

    I'm not sure if this will help you, and you may think I'm crazy.  But anyway the night before my transfer, I fell to my knees praying, and a voice said to me, "Rejoice, and be glad!" That was comforting to me at the time, and helped pull me out of my grief over the first loss, actually feel grateful that we had been given another chance, and to go ahead and celebrate that, and let myself entertain the thought that maybe this time would be different.  Whenever I catch myself falling into fear and doubt again, I just tell myself, "Rejoice!  Today, you are pregnant!"  And try not to take myself down the rabbit hole.  I know it's hard though... ❤

    *typo
    Me: 34 | DH: 41 ~ Married / TTC our First since May 2015
    5/16 - Began Creighton Method CM Tracking / Napro Fertility Medicine | Progesterone + various abx cycles - all BFNs
    8/16 - SHG: ute good, at least one tube open | 10/16 - MFI Azoo dx confirmed. No known genetic cause. Vas tubes absent.
    3/17 - DH started Clomid to prepare for MESA/TESE | 4/17 - Initial RE Consult for me. | 7/17 - Successful retrieval for DH!
    9/17 - Two Back to back IVFs  | 10/17 - Polypectomy  |  11/17 - 1st FET ended in CP  :'(  | 12/17 - 2nd FET ... BFP!!! <3
    EDD: 09/09/18
    torileeabusymama84offtoneverland
  • I too am nervous but really trying to stop worrying im 6 weeks and had a loss at 5wks in October I feel great but not having an abundance of pregnancy symptoms is driving me insane first appointment not until 8 weeks!
  • Absolutely! With my first pregnancy, that resulted in a CP, I was instantly excited. I started picturing myself with the baby. With this one, I've tried to not make plans, just in case... I'm also so scared about exercise even though this is something I've always done. I'm hoping that after I have an ultrasound it will help me calm down... Right there with you, knottie!
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