Anyone else scared something will go wrong?

knottie1cf0f45b93957f51

I'm having such a hard time relaxing and enjoying this pregnancy. I had trouble conceiving my now 2.5 year old....then we started trying for baby #2. I miscarried twins at 8 weeks in March. I had chemical pregnancies in May and June. Due to bad eggs the fertility doc said I'd probably need donor eggs and IVF...but said I could go ahead and try the progesterone my OB prescribed.  Guess that did the trick because I conceived in July...now 21 weeks and due April 10th!
I'm so happy! But I'm also terrified to relax and let myself be happy. All the tests have been normal. I have an anterior placenta so I don't feel as much movement, which makes me worry more.
Anyone out there have fears too being pregnant after loss? Any tips on how to cope?

TheQueen788

I worry as well. I had a missed miscarriage in October 2016 (baby #2). I was devestated. When I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. I was immediately overwhelmed with anxiety. My sister-in-law and I prayed about it and gave it to GOD. A cousin of mine experienced the same thing. She told me to not let my loss still my joy for this pregnancy. That has stuck with me every time I get scared to be happy. 

MandyMost

I’m so scared to be happy. It’s like, if I stay weary and don’t get excited about it, then it will hurt less if I miscarry. 

torileea

Completely understand I’m 14 weeks and have seen baby progress and is on track but I’m in my head.. we had an ultrasound last week and baby was very lazy so it makes me nervous my other 2 were movers and shakers.. I’m not sure, that feeling ever goes away once you experience loss.

[Deleted User]

Hang in there (((hugs)))  I know it's hard to get your hopes up and plan when you feel they could be torn away.  Have you thought about talking to a therapist who really understands mc and loss?

I'm not sure if this will help you, and you may think I'm crazy.  But anyway the night before my transfer, I fell to my knees praying, and a voice said to me, "Rejoice, and be glad!" That was comforting to me at the time, and helped pull me out of my grief over the first loss, actually <i>feel</i> grateful that we had been given another chance, and to go ahead and celebrate that, and let myself entertain the thought that maybe this time would be different.  Whenever I catch myself falling into fear and doubt again, I just tell myself, "Rejoice!  Today, you are pregnant!"  And try not to take myself down the rabbit hole.  I know it's hard though... ❤

*typo

Fitmom215

I too am nervous but really trying to stop worrying im 6 weeks and had a loss at 5wks in October I feel great but not having an abundance of pregnancy symptoms is driving me insane first appointment not until 8 weeks!

runninginva

Absolutely! With my first pregnancy, that resulted in a CP, I was instantly excited. I started picturing myself with the baby. With this one, I've tried to not make plans, just in case... I'm also so scared about exercise even though this is something I've always done. I'm hoping that after I have an ultrasound it will help me calm down... Right there with you, knottie!

krystalrenae85

I feel the same way. We miscarried in November and I was crushed. I'm 11 weeks this time and I'm really struggling with feeling bonded to this baby. I have a 4 year old daughter and when I was pregnant with her, I felt bonded from the moment I found out. Now I'm struggling with feeling guilty over not feeling bonded. I'm just so terrified to be excited again I think. And the fear of miscarriage doesn't seem to be going away. With every new week I think my fears will subside but they don't. There is some comfort in knowing I'm not alone in this.

harleybrocksurprise

I had a missed miscarriage on Thanksgiving at 9 weeks two years ago. I spotted for two weeks beforehand, and had no other pregnancy symptoms besides lack of period.

I am now pregnant again, almost 8 weeks by my estimation. I've spotted twice after sex, which scared me badly, because, flashbacks. I have my first OBGYN appointment on Friday, and then they'll schedule my first sonogram. I have all the pregnancy symptoms, plus, last time something felt "off", but this time it doesn't, but I am still scared to death that I will start spotting like last time (it started at about this far along) or that when they do the sonogram, they won't find a heartbeat, or even won't find a baby. Plus, I'm 42 years old, so this is my last baby.

I'm having panic attacks 2-3 times a day, worrying. Every "stretchy uterus feeling" sends me running to the bathroom to check for spotting 'cause I think I'm beginning cramping. I'm afraid to have sex because twice (out of 8-9 times) I spotted a little after sex. I flinch when my boyfriend touches my stomach, not because he's touching me, but because it forces me to acknowledge this tiny being that I could lose.

I keep telling myself I can let myself acknowledge the baby once they find that first heartbeat, and I will relax once I pass that 12 week mark with a heartbeat. I keep seeing a baby (I assume boy?) named Sam (NOT on our name list), in my dreams, so I "think" he might be okay, and I'm just scared that he's not gonna be, but I'm still a nervous wreck.

ashley4218

I had a missed MC September 2017, at 16 weeks. I rarely had symptoms all around, and constantly felt a sense something was wrong. This was our first pregnancy.

Now pregnant again, almost 5 weeks, I oddly find myself much more comfortable. Although, I have been having a lot of cramping, and pressure sensation that has me nervous. Constantly questioning if the sensation is normal, or if I should call my OB. The fear is terrifying, and very real. 

I also find myself running to the bathroom frequently, with any cramp or feeling of additional CM. 

eggo2301

I had a MMC in September at 9 weeks. I was so disappointed but know several people who miscarried and then went on to have healthy babies soon after. I became pregnant again after my next cycle and had another miscarriage in December at 6 weeks. To my surprise, I found out I was pregnant again this month. My hcg levels are low and my progesterone has dropped from 13 to 8. My doctor put me on progesterone supplements and baby aspirin but I have a sinking feeling that this will end in miscarriage as well. I am trying to be hopeful but I also want to prepare myself (if that’s even possible) for the emotional toll a third miscarriage will take. I am constantly checking to see if I have spotted and every cramp or twinge makes me crazy. I feel so unstable and not sure how I will make it another four days until my ultrasound! 

skp480

I'm right there with you mama! I had a missed MC in December 2017. Should have been 8 weeks along, baby was more like 6 weeks. I had a nervous feeling the whole time that something was off because I had practically no morning sickness and with my first, I had a decent but manageable amount. I'm now 10 weeks (tomorrow) with this baby and even though I had a great ultrasound at 7.5 weeks, and my morning sickness is absolutely through the roof, I'm still nervous something is going to go wrong. Funilly enough, I have an instinctual feeling that this pregnancy will go full term, but I'm still not letting myself be calmed by that or be truly happy about things just in case. As a previous poster said, I guess I think it will protect me if things go wrong. Hugs to you though - you're almost there!!!

MrsJP20082015

So many prayers for healthy babies for y’all!!

im in the same boat & even though I feel so guilty about being petrified & not believe it’s real, it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.

I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks in October 2018. I was so bonded with my DD my first pregnancy & I just couldn’t feel connected to baby number 2. I had so much guilt after I miscarried that I didnt love that baby enough. I just found out Saturday that we’re pregnant again & I have such bad anxiety about it. Praying that this passes soon. 

Lots of love, hugs & prayers! 

mommy4life24

I am sending good vibes your way!!!

I think all of us as mothers have that same worry especially after experiencing losses.
The only thing you can do is try your best to stay positive and keep positivity surrounding you at all times!!!!
Bless You!

sarahhhec

All of this is how I feel too! I got pregnant with mo-mo twins 5 years ago and unfortunately lost them the day I turned 12 weeks. It’s been so hard to be happy this pregnancy (currently 5w2d) out of fear that something will go wrong again... especially since I’ve been spotting brown since I got a positive test last week. These discussion boards sure have been helping me know I’m not alone in my feelings. Hugs to all of you! 

wife_momx4_nursestudent

I feel the same! Lost my son at 29 weeks Jan 6. 2019 after what my dr called a “perfect pregnancy” and currently 15 weeks pregnant with our little girl. Everyone says I’m so glad everything’s going fine and I am too but everything was with him too. I’m praying hard this baby continues to stay healthy and praying for all of you as well 

happystin8

Hi - I am in this boat. turned a test positive a week ago and now hoping I keep it. When do I leave the CP window? after 5 weeks or 6? 

projectalice

@happystin8 I don't know the official window but I just hit 7 weeks and finally feel like I'm out of the window for a chemical. 

happystin8

thx @projectalice and nice to know i am not the only one in this boat. 5w5d now. going to get a blood test today to see if my progesterone levels are increasing.  

FyreFlyeRush

I'm almost 16w and still dread every appointment and am terrified of every scan. I'm pretty sure I'm feeling movement, but I'm talking myself into believing it's just gas or my imagination. I think right up until they put him in my arms, I'll be convinced something has gone wrong.