Questions for STM+ December Edition — The Bump
March 2018 Moms

Questions for STM+ December Edition



We haven't done one of these in a while.  Any new questions for BTDT moms?
Me: 30 H: 30
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
mdfarmchickchasingroygbiv
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Re: Questions for STM+ December Edition

  • Question from a non FTM, but a very forgetful one instead! ;)  How many times a day should kick counts be done? Is it really just the one time? I’m finding myself counting a few times a day.. 
    GG620
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  • @chasingroygbiv my doc said once a day and around the same time so that you can see any major deviations from the normal pattern. 
    BabyFruit Ticker

    chasingroygbiv
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  • @chasingroygbiv Not a STM but my doctor said the same as @ashleyf911, and also not to start until 28 weeks because the pattern is more likely to be consistent by then. I'm sure there is no harm getting into the practice early, but I was told not to freak out if is irregular before 28 weeks. 
    Me: 34 H: 37
    Dating: 2003 Married: 2010
    TTC #1: Started April 2016
    Dx: Unexplained Infertility  Dx: NIR PCOS
    Twin boys born by unplanned c section 2/22/18


    chasingroygbiv[Deleted User]GG620
  • @chasingroygbiv when I was monitored at L&D the day before Thanksgiving ((25 weeks by my OB, 25+5 by my dates that he told me to keep in my head)), they told me to go ahead and start kick counts. Same time every day, 10 in an hour, or 15 in two. Then at my regular appointment last Wednesday, he told me once in the morning and once at night, 10 in an hour or 15 in two. And if no movement for a while, drink something ice cold, with caffeine or sugar and then try a kick count laying down. 
    chasingroygbiv
  • Thanks! That’s what I was reading after I posted. I downloaded a kick count app and it allowed me to set up a reminder each day so hopefully I can remember to do it at the same time. @ashleyf911 @vflux33 @mdfarmchick
    vflux33mdfarmchick
  • I'm gonna be the dissenter because my OB said I didn't even really need to do but moreso to mame sure there is movement each day. And if not, to try to stimulate it. 
    Me: 28
    DH: 29
    Married: 7/4/15
    TTC #1 since marriage
    BFP 11/17/15 -- EDD 7/31/16


    mdfarmchickkbialalivingthedream-3
  • KASG said:
    I'm gonna be the dissenter because my OB said I didn't even really need to do but moreso to mame sure there is movement each day. And if not, to try to stimulate it. 
    My OB gave similar advice.  If I felt like I hadn't felt something - then count kicks.  
    Me: 30 H: 30
    Dx: PCOS
    Married: June 2013
    TTC#1: January 2015
    BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
    BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
    TTC#2: June 2017
    BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
    mdfarmchickkbialaKASG
  • My OB never mentioned kick counting. I've heard of it before. But she asks if I'm feeling regular movement. 
    mdfarmchick
  • Posterior placenta posse over here lol. LO is pretty predictable as far as when he's the most active. My OB told me 10 in an hour,  but I've never really had to count since he moves quite often.  

    AFM any STM+ remember what SO did that was super helpful during your previous births? DH just isn't going to be available to go to any of the childbirth classes offered at my hospital. I'd like to give him some tips that have worked IRL.
    Pregnancy Ticker
    mdfarmchick
  • @cford08 DH always does really good back rubbing with his hands or a tennis ball through contractions while we are walking or standing. 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    <a href="https://lilypie.com/"><img src="https://lbym.lilypie.com/OcL3m4.png" width="200" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers" /></a>
    mdfarmchickcford08
  • @cford08 When we went to the birthing class at the local doula center, he learned how to apply pressure to my hips, and how to support and massage my lower back during labor. Those two tips were really helpful.

    This is also some really good advice that they went over in the birth class too... https://www.wholisticbeginnings.com/blog/2014/3/19/uv8xw3no1taf6a6v8k7mkyaicojmnb
    vflux33cford08
  • @cford08 In addition to having your DH learn some ways to help physically, I think it'd be good for him to do some reading (or find something to watch) about the different stages of labor, pain (and other) interventions, what to expect if you need a c-section, etc. Also, what emotional support you think you might need. If you have important pieces of your birth plan, make him aware so he can help advocate. Can he go with you to a third tri appt and ask your OB/MW any questions he has? 
    Me: 30 H: 30
    Dx: PCOS
    Married: June 2013
    TTC#1: January 2015
    BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
    BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
    TTC#2: June 2017
    BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
    cford08
  • @ShawnnaO - I never done kick counts with any of mine now (baby #3).  Doctors just ask if feeling lots of movement throughout the day.   

    I’ve also never done a “birth plan.”  I have been induced both times prior right around due date with the mind set that I would use pain management to let me relax and my body do it’s job, which is against my normal list maker, scheduler, must have everything figured out.  Both my labors have gone well and I actually have memories of being calm and enjoying them versus worrying about every detail (my usual norm).  

    I highly suggest having DH attend some appointments with you especially towards the end if possible.  Hearing the heartbeat I think always helps make it seem more real/connect Dad to pregnancy along with listening to the doctor.  My DH hasn’t attended any appointments this time due to work (heck they currently even letting him take time for baby’s birth) and I think it’s caused a huge disconnect from my last pregnancy to this one.  We don’t even talk anything baby related.  It makes me very sad and wish he was involved.  
    cford08
  • @cford08 honestly, we never went to any birthing classes either, but my husband was great at providing emotional support and just being my best friend during labor. Telling me it’s okay, that this is so exciting, that I’m having a baby and doing such a good job (he raves still to this day about how good he thinks I was at being in labor). When the time came to push, my doctor had him hold one of my legs (which we still joke about because honestly it’s the funniest thing to think back on). My labor was fairly quick, only about 6 hours, and the contractions were so painful for me that I couldn’t sit still during them, so all he could do to help me physically was hold my hand. 

    I think just to tell your your husband to constantly be building you up. That was the most important thing for me, to hear his voice so consistently. Usually your doctors will point him in the right direction as far as things he can do to help physically during labor, but that emotional support was key for me. 
    cford08leilaquinn
  • edited December 2017
    KASG said:
    I'm gonna be the dissenter because my OB said I didn't even really need to do but moreso to mame sure there is movement each day. And if not, to try to stimulate it. 
    TTM here and I've never kicked counts, and I've had 2 OB's and neither mentioned kick counting. If I find I've had a busy few days I'll take time in the evening to lay down on the couch and count for my own reassurance since I know he's most active between 8-10pm.

    ETA: Also never had a birth plan or birth classes. I'm not saying you shouldn't I just never found a need and it's cool.
          
  • @cford08, my DH did whatever my doula told him to. I remember specifically him getting in the birthing tub behind me and rubbing my arms. We didn't birth in the tub but laboured there for 4 hours. If that's something you're interested in, tell your DH to bring a bathing suit so he can come in too or sit on the edge like mine did. 

    Also, this is during pregnancy, not delivery. Has anyone heard of lift and sift? My doula taught us this and we learned it in our prenatal classes. Basically mom gets on her hands and knees, and someone else (usually dad) would wrap a blanket or long/strong scarf under her belly. Dad stands behind mom and using the scarf, lifts mom's belly (pulling up towards her belly button). Then he rocks his hands back and forth (sifting) the baby. It apparently helps get baby into a good position and it feels AMAZING because DH is essentially carrying the pregnancy weight for a few minutes. We don't realize how much weight we are carrying until dad releases the scarf. Just make sure he lowers slowly or it hurts mom!! 

    We did it tons in third trimester with DS and we have already started with this LO. It feels so good!!!
    Chillprcford08
  • We didn’t do any classes or anything. DH was in charge of music and he held my leg (doctor or nurse told him to). He kept me calm throughout. I wouldn’t have changed a thing and plan on having him there in the same capacity this time around.
    BabyFetus Ticker
    ShawnnaOcford08
  • Kick counts - never really did them and asked my MW about it at my appointment this week. Her philosophy is that it doesn't make sense to set an arbitrary time where you focus on counts. As moms, we typically notice a pattern of when there's a lot of movement (as soon as I get into bed for example) and when baby has been still for a while. She recommends focusing on kick counts when you feel something is off or there hasn't been movement in some time.

    I'm going to be different than most of the posters above about DH's involvement in birth. My husband went to the birthing class and we learned some of the massaging techniques and assistance with pain relief. Then labor hit and I wanted no one touching me or talking to me. He tried and I nearly bit his head off. So, you never know. My labor also went 0 to 60 in a very short time, so I think I was just so focused on getting through that, that anything else was an unwanted distraction.


    DS:
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnant with #2: 
    BabyFruit Ticker

    notthefathervflux33cford08
  • Kick counts have never been mentioned during either of my pregnancies.
  • Hi all - It’s been a while since I’ve posted.

    My midwife has never suggested kick counting for either pregnancy. I feel inclined to start since baby is so active now. I can never tell between a hiccup or kick.

    I have a pretty well documented birth plan only because I’m super particular. During the last birth they tried overstepping in one instance and DH knew the plan well enough to be my voice. I found it helpful, and we’ll try to go with the same plan.
    mdfarmchickcford08
  • I remember my DR talking about kick counts with my 1st. No one has mentioned to me yet but I have an appointment on Wed, so maybe then?! Regardless, I already know the patterns this little guy has.

    @mmom3 my husband also hasn't been to any appointment this time around, due to work and it's a bummer. I'm hoping once I switch to every 2 weeks he can find 1 to come to.  Makes me sad, too. Totally different than the 1st time around for us.
    mdfarmchick
  • So, for those who are on their third+, I am feeling like the last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy about ten weeks earlier. Is this normal? 
    StephBrim24
  • @mdfarmchick in terms of being uncomfortable and so done with pregnancy? If so, right there with you!
    mdfarmchickKASG
  • @mdfarmchick I’m only on my 2nd, but this baby is doing a number on my body. My entire back is one big ache....so over being uncomfortable 
    mdfarmchickKASG
  • @heatherdubrow BH that hurt, low cramping and awful back ache. Like things I had with prodromal labor... thankfully not all three at the same time. 
    heatherdubrowcford08StephBrim24
  • @mdfarmchick yes, but this is only my second. Be careful and listen to your body! My OB gave me a long lecture today about preterm labor since we’re going to be moving soon and I won’t be able to have another apt for about two months. 
    mdfarmchickStephBrim24
  • Does anyone else still sit in the backseat with your first LO? My DD is 2 and whenever I ride with her and DH is driving, I sit back there with her...is that weird?? (Wondering if this should be my FFFC?!)
    kbiala
  • @ShawnnaO I know that they are all signs of preterm labor and I’ve been resting as much as I can to limit the BH and cramping. Nothing seems to help the backache so I’m assuming that has to do with Baby’s position. Also, I moved countries at 28 weeks pregnant with DS so if you need anything or anyone to talk to, I’m here. My last appointment in England was at 26 weeks and then my first appointment ended up being monitored at L&D at 34 weeks because we were rear ended on our way to the hospital to set up insurance and appointments. ((Rolls eyes)). 
    ShawnnaO
  • Thanks ladies for the suggestions. I'm going to make sure DH comes to some of my 3rd tri appointments.

    Getting him to read/watch/participate in any labor related media is a no go  :D he is still thinking about this LO in the hypothetical. His inattention would frustrate me and make him clueless about my frustration. He does better with anything baby related when he has to "act right" in front of people (OB, my parents) lol
    Pregnancy Ticker
    vflux33mdfarmchickleilaquinn
  • @mdfarmchick thank you!!! We are thankfully only moving across the country, not to a different country. We leave about two days before my next appointment would be and won’t actually be at our new address until another two weeks after that because we’re trying to see family for a few days since we won’t be traveling for Christmas this year. Then I guess I need to see my primary care doctor before they’ll let me set up pregnancy related appointments and ugh. It’s such a hassle and I’m definitely nervous to be going so long without an actual pregnancy appointment! 
    mdfarmchick
  • Also a FTM, but I asked my doctor about kick counts at my appointment yesterday, and she said they don't tell patients to do particular kick counts, instead just make sure you feel kicks at three different parts of the day (morning, afternoon, night), and that there is a minimum of 10 movements in 2 hours. She said it was normal to have WAY more than 10 movements, but that the baby sleeps for 90 minute cycles, so depending on when your 2 hour window falls, the baby could be asleep for much of it. She said any sudden change in the amount of movement is worth a call in.
    mdfarmchickcford08vflux33
  • So, for those who are on their third+, I am feeling like the last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy about ten weeks earlier. Is this normal? 
    I'm on #3 and I feel like I'm 30-32 weeks and I'm (ok because it's my 3rd I'm not sure) maybe 25 weeks
          
    mdfarmchickStephBrim24Chillpr
  • @ShawnnaO TriCare can be ridiculous. Honestly because I was already in the third trimester, and our base has a hospital attached, I went in for monitoring at L&D and they just assigned me a doctor and set up my first appointment. Fortunately I didn’t have to pee in a cup to prove I was pregnant ((that was actually discussed though)), or have a PCM assigned before an OB and especially fortunately that I didn’t have to go to the stupid required birthing class that everyone must attend at 8 weeks. :lol: 
    ShawnnaO
  • 1) this time, DH has only come to major appts so far. Last time he came to almost all of them and to birth classes. But for birth, I had 2 birth companions/Doulas in training, him, and my mom so... the husband was helpful, as much as he could be.

    2) STM and this baby is doing me IN!!! Everything is harder and all pain/discomfort is more exacerbated. I look and feel more pregnant too :/
    Me: 28
    DH: 29
    Married: 7/4/15
    TTC #1 since marriage
    BFP 11/17/15 -- EDD 7/31/16


    cford08mdfarmchickChillpr
  • @mdfarmchick - I’m definitely feeling the same way too. This is #3 for me and I feel like I occasionally need to hold up my belly to help support it. I shopped for 4 hours today and it had me cramping, having uncomfortable BH, and later in the day my lower back was a wreck (leaning on the counter while making dinner). 
    cford08mdfarmchick
  • @amylonghorn I totally sit in the back with DS1 who is 2. I don’t know why & have been wondering myself if I should stop. He loves it though & so do I 
  • @kbiala thank you for the reassurance!! I was just thinking how much I enjoy it bc I get to spend that little extra time with DD, but then I was like, wait, is this still normal?! Either way, I don't care, I love it (a la that annoying song!!)
  • Agree to this being much harder the second time around. Between catching all of DS’s colds and viruses from school (currently on my second fever this pregnancy- fourth time sick) and BH contractions starting much earlier (around 20 weeks) it’s been much more physically tolling then when l was pregnant with my son. 


    StephBrim24mdfarmchick
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