Weekend Randoms

acunamatada

It's that time again! 

acunamatada

Thought I'd start a fresh thread for the weekend! (I think we said M/W/F?) 

I was really bummed my MW didnt even try to find a HB with the Doppler during my visit today.. I know 9 weeks is early but still! Anywaysss impatient me found it tonight on my Doppler! Much happier now! 

wildtot

I need to buy some jelly for my Doppler. Or any idea on what else can i use?

DS has been more clingy so wondering if he’s starting to sense a new baby.

acunamatada

@wildtot I lost my jelly. I used lotion instead, I think it works just the same!

hillbillywife

Who was it that watches the great British baking show? I’ve been hooked! It’s unreal how little I’ve accomplished the last two days. 

SmashJam

@wildtot lube works! Lol. Depending on your lube/lotion preference it could go either way on which is pricier.

Also @acunamatada You must have the patience of a saint and a strong Doppler! I didn't hear mine until almost 16 weeks at home!

acunamatada

@SmashJam lube! I didn't think of that! And yes, lots of patience and a REALLY full bladder! 

stillcozy

@acunamatada yay!!!! 

LadyJ2949

My two year old woke up at 4am, cried out for a minute, and then fell back asleep. Guess who is still wide awake two hours later? I thought I turned a corner with my insomnia since I found out I was pregnant but apparently not. Ugh. 

ETA: I’ve edited this twice to finish this and the bump keeps eating it. Whyyyyyyyy. 

stillcozy

ugh insomnia here too! what the heck body! I had to get up at 5:30 for work ugh this sucks!

paytonpedro

I’m a sahm but occasionally pick up receptioning shifts at a veterinary hospital I used to work for (well I technically still work for I guess) and today is my first shift since March/April. Of course my nausea is at an all time high but I’ve also been having a really hard time sleeping and I’ve been up since 2am. I literally just want to cry. Yay for the Firehall Christmas party directly following that I’m taking DS to, so I can’t even nap. :’(

acunamatada

I hear you ladies on the insomnia! Lately the only time I've been nauseous is when I wake up in the middle of the night (very well might be my pnv) 

paytonpedro

@acunamatada I had my last appt at 8+2 and she didn’t look for the heartbeat either. I was a little bummed. I don’t have an at home one and my next appt isn’t for 4 weeks. Ugh. But I do get an ultrasound with that one

blair_krank

@paytonpedro, I worked at a vet when I was pregnant with DD and the smells there overwhelming. Even on good days they made me kind of queasy. 

elizabethrn87

Insomnia struck agai - this time I work up at 1 Am and couldn’t get back to sleep. Had to get up for work at 4:30 . Oy

acunamatada

@paytonpedro I think 9 weeks is the earliest it would be physically possible to hear the HB on Doppler- I think most wait until at least 10 but I swear my MW tried at just over 9w with my son and we heard it. I have an u/s in a few weeks too! I'm excited for an u/s with the bean actually resembling a human lol. 

nimmle

Ugh to horrible insomnia. 2 nights in a row

stillziggysmom

@hillbillywife I dont remember who it was, but they have my appreciation for turning me onto it as well. Its awesome. Side note. I binged the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel in barely over a day because it's JUST that good. It seriously is freaking amazing. 

kat029

Weekend has been full of ups and downs so far. I was mean to my SO and feel guilty about it. I was so excited to see the little bean! Then mom went to the ER, and I couldn't be there with her because I needed to watch grandma in her stance.

And then, this morning I enjoyed a delicious country fried chicken with eggs and biscuits! I never let myself have country fried steak/chicken; so it was a major treat!

Insominia has been off and on for me, lucky this week has been "sleep like a log" for me.

stillcozy

so many drive bys lately 

christycalifornia

I haven't been here for a day and all the yellow indicators are gone!!!! I don't know where I left off!!!

christycalifornia

So I had a major parenting win today. I just asked my kid for a hug while she was busy playing and she said "no thanks, Mama."
"I'd really like a hug, please. It'd make me happy."
::pause::
"Mama, I'm in charge of my body."
 
That's right, kid. I'm down one hug, but she gains agency. I'm either crying tears of joy and pride, or someone's chopping onions.

acunamatada

@christycalifornia omg who's chopping onions?! She is so precious, that is good parenting! 

devilcat139

@christycalifornia that happened to me earlier this week! It was so confusing. The yellow markers came back randomly after like a day though-hope they magically reappear for you too!

christycalifornia

@acunamatada I was so proud, it was hard not to just scoop her up in big hugs anyway! She's felt comfortable refusing physical affection for a while, but that was the first time she's ever used that phrase, and it's the best feeling in the world to hear my words echoed by her after years of trying to instill her with personal agency. I feel like the Grinch when his heart grows three sizes. 

christycalifornia

@devilcat139 Good to know it's not just me! My Bump always feels broken, though, so par for the course I guess. 

tarheelgirl8

@christycalifornia that is amazing!!  I can only pray mine picks up on it so well  

SmashJam

My hubs is home after a week of being gone but he took a red eye so he's sleeping and its basically like he's not here. I got up at 4am and DS is not napping so even though I am tired I am still awake parenting and I AM SAD. I can't blame him he was basically up all night but I'm still like, ugh GET UP ALREADY. lol

@christycalifornia that comic is awesome and good for your daughter!

@d_marie_23 I just looked up Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and now I am excited to watch it!

tarheelgirl8

@christycalifornia reminded me of something I’ve been meaning to research for a while, and I thought I’d see if y’all had any recommendations.

With all the news lately, I want to talk to DD more about who should/should not be touching her, etc.  Anyone have any resources about how to approach this for various ages?  DD is 2, but ideally I’d love to read about how to have the conversation now and then more nuanced conversations as she gets older.  We already talk about how she doesn’t have to touch/hug/kiss ppl if she doesn’t want to, and we teach her to ask first before she gives her friends hugs.  But I want to do more especially since she’s potty training and becoming more aware of her private parts.  

ETA: I realize this isn’t actually pregnancy related.  Hope that’s ok. 

blair_krank

Today is not good. We have MHs company holiday party tonight and I don’t know if I’m going to make it. I’m actually sad because they throw a really fun party—even if I can’t take advantage of the open bar. Also I have an awesome dress that probably won’t fit next Christmas because #breastfeedingboobs. 

wildtot

Success! Finally got to cut DSs nails! The only opportunity i get is when he falls asleep in the car. Otherwise you’d think someone is trying to hurt him.

acunamatada

@tarheelgirl8 there are some really good books for younger kids that could approach the topic. I've worked with kids affected my DV and abuse in the past, teaching them about proper relationships and personal agency. I think one of my favs was "I said no!"- I can't think of the author, and it might be a little above a 2 yo level but it's a good one. A good explanation of "private parts" are anywhere a bathing suit covers. There's so much more but that's about my garbled mind can come up with today lol. 

ETA and can I just say you're awesome for asking questions like that?! You're going to raise one heck of a woman! I'm getting all the feels today  

christycalifornia

@tarheelgirl8 First off, everything is okay in randoms! It's the brain-dump place, so you are in the right place!

Second, I find a lot of resources by searching for teachers resources online. I have a lot of friends who teach elementary grades, and we trade resources a lot. And check out this post by Scary Mommy. It highlights some free printables and posters, which I haven't printed because my kid can't read yet, but helped me frame my conversations with her. I really liked the ones about early physical warning signs your body gives you when there's danger, and have used that as talking points with my kid about when to know to run to a safe adult.

Personally, it's just snippets of conversation over time at this age for me. Quantity of messages makes more of an impression than an in-depth conversation. So while we were potty training, I'd tell her Mommy and Daddy and Olivia (her regular babysitter) are allowed to touch her vulva, but no other grownups should unless we say it's okay first. Sometimes when we have a bath I'll ask her to point to parts of her body that a bathing suit would cover and talk briefly about how those are her special places, and no one should touch her there, save appropriate adults. If she's climbing all over me, or pulling at my clothes and I don't like it, I'll remind her that I'm the boss of my body, and if I said no, she has to respect that. I model that as well as enforce it for her with her body.  As she gets older and can read I plan to use posters, charts, visual aids, etc to help talk about all this, but now it's just more repetition repetition repetition. It's hard to describe these things to them because at this age they don't know shame, or bodily fear (at least they shouldn't) so the best we can do I think is to reinforce a sense of bodily ownership and respect for their body and others, so that if someone is doing something they don't like, they can say so to a safe adult and know to run away. It sounds like you're on the right track! It never too early to start these conversations.

Another thing that's important to note (in my opinion) is using either correct names for body parts, or names that are easily recognized by others. Some parents are uncomfortable using "vulva" or "penis" which I get, but something recognizable like "privates" or something is preferable to made up cutesy names that teachers and other trusted adults may not recognize. I'll never forget my friend who, in her second year of teaching, had a preschooler in her class that would tell her she was sad/upset because her uncle would touch her "Minnie". My friend thought it was a Minnie Mouse toy, and said the normal teacher things, telling her to use her words if it bothered her, and it was ok to share toys etc. Nope. "Minnie" was what the little girl was taught to call her vulva. It was only because she was persistently talking about it and visibly upset over a period of time that my friend brought it up to the girl's mom, who turned 50 shades of pale and explained what a "Minnie" was. 

ETA: I just re-read my post and I sound like such a freaking know-it-all. I'm sorry! I have a background in early childhood education even though I teach high schoolers now, and body and sex issues are a bit of a passion project of mine, so I have a lot of info in my head. Don't mean to sound like such a, well, TEACHER when I talk about this stuff. 

acunamatada

@christycalifornia forever 

christycalifornia

@acunamatada You literally make me laugh out loud every time.

christycalifornia

Also, @acunamatada, if you think of any titles as the weeks roll on would you dm them to me? My kid loves to read, and I'm always collecting books about important topics like that for her. That's awesome that that was your job, but how heartbreaking. 
@tarheelgirl8 I second Acuna about asking those questions. Here's to raising a generation of strong women who know how to demand respect!

acunamatada

@christycalifornia I enjoyed working with kids much more than now- now I work with the parents in DV relationships. The kids are wonderful and sweet and SO resilient. Most of the books I remember were more so DV related- there's a whole behavior series we used a lot. A couple we read pretty often were "hands are not for hitting" and "words are not for hurting" I think they'd be about your daughters level- maybe even below lol she sounds so smart! 

christycalifornia

@acunamatada I'm going to look those up, thanks! And I just ordered "I said No!" Great resource. Thank you!

tarheelgirl8

@christycalifornia and @acunamatada thank you both for your thoughtful responses!  they were both really helpful.  

@christycalifornia you did NOT sound like a know it all.  You sound like a FANTASTIC educator! 

paytonpedro

acunamatada said:

@paytonpedro I think 9 weeks is the earliest it would be physically possible to hear the HB on Doppler- I think most wait until at least 10 but I swear my MW tried at just over 9w with my son and we heard it. I have an u/s in a few weeks too! I'm excited for an u/s with the bean actually resembling a human lol. 

Yes, pretty sure with DS my dr got a heartbeat at 9+4ish. I remember this u/s with DS and I’m so excited! Last time I saw his long legs and I can’t wait!

coco2787

This is the book we have.  It covers stranger danger as well as being the boss of your body. It was recommended to me by a school psychologist.  Super Duper Safety School: Safety Rules For Kids & Grown-Ups! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984747214/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_1m0iAb9DER8K2