You are a New Mom When

kdl89

Hey ladies let's hear those fun little moments our new littles our bringing to our lives. 

About a week or so ago we had our first poop up the back in the middle of the night. So what did I do ... woke up my DH to help not that there was a whole lot for him to do but it was great to have the support in the middle of the night. Also the next day we laughed about it cause everyone warned us about the moment there was poop everywhere.

DungeonTrollMel

You have been wearing the same nursing tank for 2 (or 3 but can’t remeber) days despite the fact it has spit up on it 

mymulligan

You can't remember the last time you showered and/or washed your hair

You no longer think of your breasts as anything sacred or sexy. They are like your arm and countless people have seen / touched them at this point. (Nurses!)

MaximumEffort

When you've done this before and still feel lost.  Some how question whether you remembered the baby. Sweetly curse at your LO cause they won't take a pacifier but also doesn't know how to pacify on the breast without getting unwanted milk.  

Let's add crying like an idiot at the pediatrician because LO has not only double pink eye but an infection of the skin of his penis and even though I'm a nurse I feel helpless.  Only good thing is he has gained 2lb 3oz in less than 3 weeks, monster. 

amber0529

@MaximumEffort  I'm right there with you feeling almost like a new mom. I definitely shouldn't feel like that since I've done this once before and I was an lead infant daycare teacher for over a year. I think it's from the lack of sleep and the hormones.  

ladymeowmeow2

@mymulligan Yes to all of that. I used to be so self-conscious about my breasts. Now I have no modesty about them. Yesterday DH and I went shopping with baby and I had to nurse in the parking lot before we could go in. While we were sitting there, one of the security cars drove up and DH started shooing him away, thinking I would be worried about him seeing my bare breast. I assured DH that that was the least of my concerns. He was totally suprised and commented about how much my mentality has changed with regards to my body.

dragonfly87-2

@DungeonTrollMel If it makes you feel better, I have been wearing the same sweatpants for the past three days....and there is definitely spit up on them.

You walk around your kitchen with one boob out before/after a feeding and forget that you have a wall of windows that your neighbor could easily see into if they were out back....but at the same time don't really give a f*** because you are tired and just want your baby to stop being fussy. 

samsterrr

Changing his diaper and I hear a grunt....then poop comes shooting out at me. TWICE now! Why me and not dad?! Hahaha
once was the middle of the night so that was fun. 

kdl89

@samsterrr that happened to my husband today. He was very surprised at how far the poop went since he then had to clean not only baby the change table as well. 

angbaby83

@DungeonTrollMel yes! I bought some more so I have enough to change them but I definitely relate with that.  This morning she managed to spit up down the front of me and I just kept going.   I also relate with walking around with one boob out.  I almost forgot yesterday and answered the door like that.  

As for me especially since I'm a first time mom I think it's taking a hundred pictures of her sleeping because she is just so cute.  I try not to send them to everybody because I don't want to be that Mom but sometimes I am.  Lol

Knottie19640588

I think everyone else has mentioned this but...
You know you're a new mom when your boobs are out 90% of the time 

dragonfly87-2

When you naively think that your newborn will cooperate for photos....

We tried to get newborn photos today....she was not having it. She stayed wide awake and fussy, kept looking around, peed/pooped on DH and the photographer said it was her most difficult session and that Zoey behaved more like a one month old. After 2.5 hours, I hope at least a few good photos will come of it. 

DungeonTrollMel

@dragonfly87-2 H got peed and pooped on during our newborn session today too!!

littlemissc17

I’m just relieved to know I’m not the only one walking around in spit up stained clothes! 

curiousfool1

Ending up with poop everywhere no longer phases you. 

Knottie19640588

@dragonfly87-2 & @DungeonTrollMel FX your photos turn out!!

amber0529

@samsterrr
The projetile poop has happened to me a few times and last night I covered his butthole with my bare hand to try to shield anymore from getting on me or the couch where I was changing him. My fiance just sat and laughed at me.

fishakris

I got my first true blue smile a day or so ago.  She looked right into my eyes while I talked to her,  and gave me a big gummy grin.  Melted me,  and I almost forgot about my projectile poop moments.  Haha 

mymulligan

You know you're a new mom when you are so excited to get out of the house for some girl time with friends but as soon as you leave your heart instantly aches and you just want to turn around and go home.
i was out for 3 hours (had a great time with friends) but missed him terribly.

kdl89

When you realize you haven't shaved your legs since before your little one was born ( which was a month ago).

NYTino24

When you have to YouTube how to open your stroller when you go out... and you nurse / change a diaper on your lap in the car because you naively went into BRU without the diaper bag and you're too tired to go back in to use their nursing room.

MaximumEffort

When you are out of clothes in 2 days because of either leaking during nursing (LO let's it just spill from his mouth), being spit up on, or the lovely pink medicine you're suppose to give during nursing drips.  

NYTino24

When it's 2 am and you have to decide between showering and sleeping. 

DungeonTrollMel

@NYTino24 sleeping. Always sleeping 

NYTino24

@DungeonTrollMel Spoiler: I slept last night and got my shower tonight while DH and DS napped together.

knottie210735f0fa851f79

Lol totally had to YouTube the stroller!

ariasbabyblog

When your entire wardrobe is based on if it is easy to nurse/pump in. 

DungeonTrollMel

ariasbabyblog said:

When your entire wardrobe is based on if it is easy to nurse/pump in. 

So much this. I use my freebie cups just because I get sick of putting a pumping bra on multiple times a day 

kaitlinliz

when you dont remember the last time you showered n you smell like old milk! im a hot mess, but i rarely leave the house so i dont care. baby has reflux, im not gonna shower to get spit up on again lol! i wipe down with baby wipes when i feel like i smell 

kaitlinliz

kdw89 i went 10 weeks lmao!!!! my husband was coming home after being away since LO was 2/3 weeks n i realized i hadnt shaved...it took his whole naptime to conquer that beast