I know it's not Wednesday anymore, but WTF toddler. My Christmas tree is officially only half (top half) decorated. She literally took every bulb off. Oh well, I guess thats half the amount of ornaments I will have to out away later.
I agree with the comments above about the baby nurse. First of all, it's an incredibly privileged position to be all, "oh you MUST get a baby nurse. How ever will you survive without one." Lady, people have been having new babies for centuries without hired help. You, your partner and/or mother will be able to figure things out just fine.
I also agree that it would have made me crazy to have a stranger in my home trying to help with the baby. It's a very vulnerable time and I felt incredibly protective over the baby. Even my MIL holding her for too long made me ragey. That being said, having my mother there so I could hand over the baby when she woke up at 6 am so DH and I could get a few extra hours of sleep was pure gold.
My husband would look at me like a crazy person if I said I wanted a baby nurse. I can see why it may be helpful for some people depending on employment for example. If your partner can't take a lot of time off work and it's just you at home with the baby or if you have other kids to take care of with minimal help (ect) I could see it making sense but otherwise no. Or maybe if you just have foolish amounts of money? lol
@stalkinghorse I mean, with 2 nannies for 3 kids and she stays at home, it's clear that this woman's life is a little different than most moms, and most SAHMs at that. While I never had a baby nurse for DD and wouldn't consider one for this LO, (and I certainly don't think you "have" to have one, as your friend states) I wouldn't brush it off as something crazy or put it in the "I'll never do that" category automatically. My SIL had bad PPD with her first kid, was fine with her second, and then got hit hard again with terrible PPD with her third. It was a really bad time for her. Her husband insisted on hiring a baby nurse for a time with the third baby so that SIL could rest and function somewhat normally in front of their other two children. Because I have also experienced how all encompassing and debilitating PPD can be, I certainly understand the allure of a baby nurse in that case. So, while it might seem like a crazy idea to a lot of women on paper, I wouldn't want to make it seem like having one, because you might happen to genuinely need to ask for the help for your own mental wellbeing, doesn't make you a "real" mom, KWIM?
@stalkinghorse I don't judge anyone for getting a baby nurse. Newborns are exhausting! But I most definitely do not think it's something you "have to have" either. The first days are a little rough but it gets easier and easier. And like you said, literally billions of women have done it without nannies since the beginning of humanity. I didn't have one for DS and I won't for this LO and I don't feel at all like it's too much to do it myself.
My husband would look at me like a crazy person if I said I wanted a baby nurse. I can see why it may be helpful for some people depending on employment for example. If your partner can't take a lot of time off work and it's just you at home with the baby or if you have other kids to take care of with minimal help (ect) I could see it making sense but otherwise no. Or maybe if you just have foolish amounts of money? lol
We might get one for baby #4 for exactly these reasons - my husband runs his own book/part of the business at work and no one can adequately cover for him for any length of time. Also, I have three other kids to bathe/clothe/feed/get to school etc. and with the track record my babies have, I will likely be doing it all on very, very little sleep.
That said, the trust thing is a major issue. Even if someone comes recommended by someone you know, you literally never know what a person will do when you're not watching, and when a newborn baby is involved it terrifies me. So we probably "need" one this time around, but I haven't done anything to hire one yet and doubt I will because it is just too scary (to me - I do know many women who have used one to apparent great success).
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
A baby nurse honestly sounds like a great idea to me, but we won't be getting one. We do pretty well financially, but a nurse just isn't in our budget. DH isn't going to be able to take time off work once our second baby arrives, and I'm a little stressed at the thought of doing the vast majority of the newborn care by myself. After DS was born I could rely on DH to take care of him while I napped, cooked, or got some exercise, but this time around that won't be as easy to do. That's one reason why we're keeping DS in daycare while I'm on maternity leave, the more help we have with childcare for both kids, the better. ETA: I don't think a baby nurse is necessary at all, most women aren't in the position to have one, but I can see how having one can be a huge help.
Re: WTF Wednesday 11/29
I also agree that it would have made me crazy to have a stranger in my home trying to help with the baby. It's a very vulnerable time and I felt incredibly protective over the baby. Even my MIL holding her for too long made me ragey. That being said, having my mother there so I could hand over the baby when she woke up at 6 am so DH and I could get a few extra hours of sleep was pure gold.
That said, the trust thing is a major issue. Even if someone comes recommended by someone you know, you literally never know what a person will do when you're not watching, and when a newborn baby is involved it terrifies me. So we probably "need" one this time around, but I haven't done anything to hire one yet and doubt I will because it is just too scary (to me - I do know many women who have used one to apparent great success).