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July 2018 Moms
alparsonsfamily
member
Private Facebook Group?
alparsonsfamily
member
For my first son, I found a private Facebook group through The Bump (May 2016) - it started off with about 150 people. I’m interested in doing that again- I will start it if anyone is interested...
Re: Private Facebook Group?
My D14 group went to FB and it’s been awesome but it was way later.
jk jk it's probably me
Also, who are the crazies here?
Edit* missing words
This has little to do with what we’re talking about, but I wanted to share my own crazy BMB story because it was so long-term, and it really changed the way I saw bmb groups.
We had a mom in A14 that joined around mid-second trimester who quickly became a board favorite. She was sweet, kind, personable, vulnerable, shared her stories of depression and anxiety, and just generally was someone people liked. Her life was always a bit crazy, like there was always some drama going on, or something medical she was suffering from that didn’t ever effect the pregnancy. Shortly before birth the stories got more chaotic and outlandish, tapered off for a bit the month she gave birth to her son, then quickly ramped up again after. The stories were verging on extreme, but all felt we knew her and were invested, and had been treated to a general escalation of events in her life, so it all fell within the realm of plausability based on how crazy we all thought her life was, so we all were supportive and helpful as much as we could be. Right before birth a whole bunch of really traumatic stuff went down with her husband, according to her, so after her birth we were all in her corner because she seemed so helpless and victimized, and we felt protective. Then some people I had off-Bump friendships with who followed her on Instagram started noticing inconsistencies in her timelines with her drama tales, which started them digging. They stared looking up past posts and comparing them to pictures posted around the same time, and it didn’t add up.
*TW fake loss mentioned
Then, about twoish months after we all gave birth, she announced she was pregnant again. Those of us who had been talking about the holes in her stories were pretty confident she would announce a miscarriage in a few weeks, but I still wanted to believe the best of her, so I hoped she wouldn’t. Sure enough, a week and a half after she told our group she was pregnant she said she thought she was miscarrying and was going to the hospital, and proceeded to basically live-tweet in our Longest Random Thread Ever all her thoughts and emotions and fears and what was happening while she was in the hospital. Most of which confirmed to those of my friends that had gone through loss that she had no idea what a miscarriage was like, or what happened when you had one.
End TW*
My friends who had been digging started posting veiled disbelief and passive comments that weren’t to her, but were, you know? They were joined by a lot of others from the board, who had apparently also been suspicious of her for a while. It was causing confusion and panic for those who hadn’t figured out what was going on, and paranoia that they were being made fun of, not to mention paranoia from the girl who was on high alert for her bs being smelled and kept doubling down on the severity of her posts. No one was being direct, and as someone here pointed out I often play the role of voice of reason, so I decided (and was kind of nominated) to just say what everyone was thinking but no one was saying.
I wrote an extremely long post basically telling her we didn’t believe her, in the kindest way I possibly could. I told her I hoped I was wrong, and that if I was I totally accepted that she might hate me forever. I detailed all the inconsistencies we’d found in her stories (she was even posting pics of her and her husband on a walk on insta while she was supposedly miscarrying in the ER and while I was typing), the many physical ailments she had had since we’d known her that didn’t add up when taken all together, or with her social media posts, and how when she announced her pregnancy many of us suspected it would end this way because of her past history of everything going wrong so we would all be on the poor Poppy train. I begged her to tell me I was wrong, and I also begged her to get help if I was right. Liar or not, we all really cared about her, and could see that what she was doing was beyond being an internet troll. Her intentions weren’t malicious, but pointed to her either being a pathological liar or Muncheusen’s syndrome. Or both. My guess was Muncheusen’s, which made me scared for her son, because she also had a few indicators for Muncheusen’s by proxy in the few months since he was born. Whatever the case, we all felt she was a deeply troubled young lady who needed professional help, and I tried to point her towards that, as much as an internet virtual stranger can.
After I posted, we had a few back-and-forths that sealed the deal for all who had suspected her for a while, and shocked everyone else who was unsuspecting. She left, and unfollowed us all, and we never heard from her again. To this day, I still think of her every now and then and say a prayer that she got help, because she deserves a good life free of those issues. Her husband certainly does, especially because all the terrible things she made up about him that had us ready to crucify him weren’t true. He was actually one of the most supportive husbands ever, who knew his wife was troubled and was always trying to support her and get her help.
It rocked our board. So many who didn’t see it coming were in shock. She was one of our most beloved members, and we all couldn’t believe we’d been on this road with her for about 8 months and a lot of it had been false. Many people were beyond done, and livid she would fake a loss for sympathy, and said they were glad it was me to speak up because it had to be done and they couldn’t have been kind about it. It was such a mess. Shortly after the group moved to Facebook, which I didn’t have so I mostly lost touch, save with about 12 women I’d grown really close to. And I don’t know that I would have joined if I could, because after Poppy it was really hard to trust. It was one of several reminders I’ve had over the years that until you meet someone in person, you never really know what’s going on and who the person is behind the computer, and that it can all turn on a dime. So I’m pretty cautious.
ETF spelling mistakes.
Lab Mom (x2): Sept/Oct 2014
Married: August 2015
DS: Nov 2016 (36w)
Baby H #2: July2018 (Team Pink!)
@christycalifornia @julesf817
I missed my little mom board friends, it was crazy over the holidays so I cant wait to read and respond tomorrow to what I missed in the past few days.
It seems to have been.. interesting from what ive read so far
Jack gained his wings on 09/02/2016.
Kali gained her wings on 07/28/2015.
They will be forever missed.
Keep in mind everyone, this was about 6-7 months into our pregnancies I think. Plenty of time for most to feel that they got to know her and obviously trusted her. We had similar board tension to what @christycalifornia talked about before the big reveal came.
My bmb for Feb16 was formed on then comes family before it exploded (haha), and many from that group made the transition to FB and it's working out really well for us. We have had a few very legitimate $ collections and gift giving/exchanges so far for a variety of life events. We also plan to get together in person next year! It's really nice and feels lucky to have that group of ladies who are genuine when there are so many crazies on the internet.
On my first day of a new job I had to take a drug test, they didn’t tell me so I had used the bathroom right before. I brought a water bottle with me. I told them I wasn’t quite ready, but I could just take my water in the bathroom to help. They said NO NO!!
Innocent me just couldn’t pee but other people bring fake pee or try to alter their tests with methods like that. Lol never would have thought that on my own.
I also was taking adderall which was listed on my page of medications and a known thing from my doctor. I failed my test (they ran it right in front of me) and they started whispering and calling other nurses in to double check the results so I finally asked them what was wrong. They told me I failed, and they’d have to call my doctor and verify that it was prescribed.
Sorry guys, not abusing drugs, just can’t hold my train of thought longer than 5 seconds without thinking of squirrels.