Anyone watching....

tosh24

This Is Us tonight? I have to watch it because I never miss an episode,  but I know it's going to be a tough one.  I'm actually a bit relieved that DH has to get up super early for work tomorrow so he's already gone to bed - now I can sob in the comfort of my own company 

mrsjcrane

Ek I’m not sure I can watch it right now. I’m feeling kinda down tonight and I think it might be best to
avoid...sometimes a good cry is helpful though! 

Kath525

Watching... All. The. Feelings.

tosh24

I actually didn't think it was that bad. I feel like they just skimmed the surface and I was a little disappointed. I was waiting for the punch to the gut but it never came. I thought Kevin's episode last week was way more intense. I was actually looking forward to a good cry - guess I'll have to wait! Funny, the parts that got me the most were the couple of scenes between Kate and Rebecca because I don't have a mother that is my soft place to land,  hence why I've never told her about either of my losses or any of my IF treatments.

Kath525

There were a couple of times where it hit my heart soft spot. But I thought the last scene in the bathroom was a little off. It kinda made it seem like and now 2 days after the MC, everything is okay. When really that's not real life. But maybe there will be more to come to show that's not the case.

vlagrl29

Nah I still can't watch that show because they say you cry every episode 

dpjennifer

I'm with vlagrl29 . I cry enough in real life and over seeing stupid trigger things in commercials and the shows I regularly watch.

zamoraspin

@tosh24 @Kath525 I watched it last night. I was really upset last week at the end of Kevin's episode when we found out about Kate. I was extremely curious to see how they would handle mc. I was somewhat disappointed. I thought the parts with Rebecca and Kate the most touching. I know everyone handles mc differently, but I overall found a lot of it did not ring true for me. For one thing I thought Toby was really sweet in trying to protect Kate from the package, which was right on, but then when he told her about how he felt, well, our partners are entitled to those feelings and I'm sure that is all accurate, but I thought it was a weird time to impress upon her how hard it was for him and make her feel even more guilty. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I wished DH would share more to make me feel less alone in it. What she said about feeling like she let Toby down, yes 1,000 times to that part. Overall the most unrealistic part to me was the sense of, ok, well we just move on now very quickly which is something I was a little afraid they would do.

If I could convey one thing to people about mc it is that you don't just move on, there is now always a part of you that is broken and it can never be repaired. It stays with you, even if you go on to get ku again, or even have a successful pregnancy, there is always a sadness about what you lost. I only know one person IRL who has struggled with RPL and she is a family member who went on to have two successful pregnancies, and she says she still thinks about the ones she lost sometimes. It's been more than 25 years for her. 

fishee333

There's no way I can watch something so emotional. The last 2 years actually (since getting pregnant the first time) I haven't been able to watch anything too intense. Same with my husband.  It's The Office and Parks and Recreation for me  
It would be great if TV could portray more realistic MCs though, even if I can't watch it. 

tosh24

@zamora_spin I agree completely. I thought the show had a great opportunity to showcase the rawness and grief that come with miscarriage and I had such high expectations that the writers would actually capture the reality of it all, but I think they totally missed the mark. I found the portrayal of the story line did not ring true for me either. I was hoping that people who watched last night's episode who have never experienced miscarriage would get a glimpse of the heart wrenching hole you fall into after losing a baby so that maybe for an hour they could "understand" - they could witness the pain, the guilt, the despair, the sadness, the fear - all the emotions that swirl around and change you after a miscarriage. I wanted to scream at the TV "that's not how it ACTUALLY is!!!!". And I felt like the scene at the end where they just look at each other all hopeful and happy and say "we'll try again" - like they just lost out on a house they put an offer in on instead of lost a baby - rather insulting.  

zamoraspin

@tosh24 I feel exactly the same way. I really got my expectations up that this show in particular could capture the reality of mc and it was disappointing. Spoiler for a show that is no longer on the air - Desperate Housewives had an mc story line for one character and the way she dealt with it is she released a balloon to "let go" of the loss. I thought it was such a lovely scene at the time but man, like, that's not how this works, that's not how any of this works. It does get better but like other loss, you still feel these pangs that never completely go away. 

honeybeebub

I thought it was going to be much worse. Hubs even tried to delete it from recording to protect me lol. But it really just skimmed the surface and wasn’t that bad. All the good feels when Kate reconnected with her Mom. I had a similar experience where my mom actually came around for me, so maybe i had more of a connection to it. 

MandyMost

I watched, and was surprised that it wasn't nearly as emotional as I was expecting. But I did think a lot of it was realistic, for me at least. After my MC I tried to act like everything was fine, even though it wasn't, so it was nice to see that reflected. But this show makes so many things soooooo emotional, I was surprised they didn't do it with this episode. You really didn't feel her pain and loss and guilt nearly as much as I expected we would. 

[Deleted User]

Isn't that weird how Kevin's episode seemed so much more raw overall?  I thought that was kind of a kick in the gut how Randall just blurted it out to kevin, and i see what you ladies mean about the last scene being so hokey in a way.

We are trying again fairly quickly, since I wasn't far along at all, but my heart is still so heavy - both of our hearts.  I liked the comparison to how they might show a couple losing out on a house! Lol ACCURATE!

*typo

myjessesgirl

I know I’m about 10 days late on this, but we turned on the TV not intending to really watch anything and stopped on This Is Us right before the scene where she goes through the loss. This was pretty close after my loss, so I was pretty raw and totally not expecting it since I haven’t followed the show at all this season. Two things I think they did well: (1) showing her feelings of guilt and “what did I do wrong” and (2) pointing out that it was a loss for both Toby and Kate (although my DH said, “I don’t like the way they treat each other on this show”- it was his first time watching it). They definitely could have done a better job. Although I can say from my experience, since it was such an early loss, we quickly decided to try again. Except it’s not that decision that is hard; it’s when you are waiting and doubting and all the feelings of wanting THAT baby return. I think it is difficult to portray all of those feelings on an hour-long TV drama, though. 

galactickates

@AGM0616 - I had the same thoughts as YH. When Kate left the show I was screaming at the TV "call Toby!! He's going to show up and you're not going to be there!" But also I was wondering how the H she felt physically ok to go sing.... The thing that got me crying was Kate avoiding her mom's phone calls.  I definitely know how that feels.