TwatWaffle Tuesday

4deep

Let it out ladies

4deep

I hate the word twat. It makes my skin crawl. I’d rather day f*ck over and over and over than say that word. 

Moving on.... I love my DH. I do. But if he makes me get another real Christmas tree this year, we may divorce. I’ve let him win this for 12 years. He grew up with real Christmas trees and it’s not Christmas without a real tree and it’s for the kids and it creates memories and blah blah blah. But you know what it’s a giant pain in my ass. Who waters it? Me. Who vacuums the needles all over the floor everyday? Me. Who has to readjust the ornaments so they don’t fall off pretty much everyday? Me. I want a freaking fake tree this year. I’m nauseas, I don’t want the hassle. Our kids don’t care at all like he seems to think. I better win this ladies. I feel an explosion 12 years in the making happening. 

cseley321

I nominate all the people and animals in my house. My husband asked me to stay up late with him to keep him company while he fixed the router. So I didn't go to bed until almost 1 am. Then at 5 am, one of the damn cats knocked over my nightstand and I almost had a heart attack. I couln't sleep so I logged on to work around 6 am to get some work done, but then my kid decides to wake up for the day at 6:30. So basically I woke up before sunrise and still managed to get nothing accomplished

4deep

@crystal321 boooo. No sleep sucks 

zande2016

@4deep you just reminded me...what does everyone with little ones at home do about the Christmas tree? I can just see my toddler eating pine needles off the floor and breaking all the ornaments. He wasn't mobile last year so this is new for me. 

As for me, my house is a TW. It's so messy and cluttered, and no matter how much time I spend trying to clean it on weekends, it gets destroyed within hours. I get such anxiety looking around at all the mess, but seriously feel too sick to do anything about it. I wish it was in the budget to hire someone. 

cseley321

@zande2016 artificial tree amd plastic ornaments with strings rather than hooks. The first mobile Christmas wasn't as bad as I had feared... now this one with a full blown toddler is scary AF

4deep

@zande2016 I ended up building a stand for our trees so they were elevated off the floor. It didn’t completely eliminate my little one from touching but took it out of his direct eye path so took away the temptation to constantly touch it. It helped a lot. He’s 3 now and listens so we don’t really need it anymore.... until this one is moving around. 

mybigfatgreekfetus

I nominate the damn raccoon that has decided to take up residence in our barn. He has killed five chickens just for fun, and gets into the feed even when I have it sealed up securely! He has even figured out how to open the sliding door on the coop with his little fingers! My son isn’t even strong enough to do that!

Plus, the little bastard knows how to steal the bait out of the Havaheart trap I put out! And he craps all over the yard! I’m all about living peacefully with nature, but this guy is about to acquire a bus pass...

mybigfatgreekfetus

Oh I forgot to say @zande2016 I can so relate. My toddler is much less into toys than I expected. He’d rather take everything out of cabinets and put them in weird places, like the washing machine. My house is so disorganized at this point! I’m just praying I’ll have a crazy nesting fit at some point and get my house put back together!

hillbillywife

@zande2016 make sure the ornaments you care about aren’t within reach. One of our trees fell over one year and most of our special glass ornaments broke. My kids haven’t been too crazy into eating the ornaments and if they want to put a pine needle in their mouth- well, I hope it tastes gross and you don’t want to do that again lol. 

zande2016

Ugh Raccoons are hard to get rid of, they're very smart and resourceful. They know how to open the lid to our outdoor garbage can, and even when we tried weighing the lid down with boxes and cans, they just shoved them aside. Do you keep chickens for eggs? 

zande2016

@MyBigFatGreekFetus hah! My son is the same, his favorite activity is opening cabinets and moving the contents to other cabinets. I need a professional organizer in my life. 

hillbillywife

Mine is aimed at me... I asked MIL to host thanksgiving this year because I didn’t want to be bothered- there’s a lot going on for me this week. But now I’m sad because I won’t have the turkey leftovers because I’m not making turkey. Womp womp self. That’s what you get.. 

mybigfatgreekfetus

@zande2016 we raise chickens for eggs and we breed them to sell to backyard chicken owners. So you can imagine how mad I was when that a-hole killed my prettiest Jubilee Orphington! 

bearmomma1

I tried searching on the abbreviation list and it wasn’t there. What does TW mean?

ethnomusicwhat

@zande2016 My house, too.  WHY...  And even if I clean, it just ends up a wreck minutes later anyway.  

I nominate my upstairs neighbours whose 5 am thumping never fails to wake me up, at which point I have to pee...sigh. 

bdesterhouse

ha, I love the word twat. It is said almost daily in our house, by muah. I said it when my husband's friend was working on our electrical and he couldn't stop laughing. In his defense he married a gal who I don't think curses, ever... my husband married someone with the mouth of a filthy sailor. I do keep in check at work, promise.  I also have toned down on using the F word around my mother. I'm almost 30 and she still smacks me if I say it around her. 

cseley321

@rachelsogo TW = twatwaffle

ajsanders-2

My TW Tuesday - People not doing their jobs, and half assing their work. Seriously, it comes back to bite other people because that one person didn't want to complete what they were supposed to do. 

zombiehoohaa

I nominate DH (d stands for d!ckhe@d)...we have a very active sex life, however ever since finding out I'm KU, I do NOT want to be touched. Give me a few kisses and a hug, otherwise no touchy touchy. He tells me nightly, I want some P. I've told him that 1. I don't feel like it 2. Please wait until our first appointment, so my mind is at ease. 3. I'm worried of spotting. Well, he just doesn't get it. I'm about to send him to sofa city. 

pumpkinpancake

My TW goes out to whoever in my office decided it’s their job to douse the bathroom in air freshener every time they use it. I mean a spritz or two would be ok, but they literally spray so much that you can smell it down the hall. Pregnant or not, that much air freshener is enough to make me gag. I’d rather smell normal bathroom smells than this disgusting artificial air freshener smell!! 

SmashJam

@MyBigFatGreekFetus jubilee orpingtons are amazing! I have always wanted one but they are PRICEY as adults and I can't ever seem to find chicks. I will buy chicks from you in the spring if you ship....

Also I read an article once that I don't think was a joke about how raccoons communicate with each other...a trash company once introduced new trash can lids on one coast and rolled them out across the coast in the weeks/months after. By the time the ones in states neighboring the first states to get them got their trash cans, the raccoons could already open them! Crazy right. Raccoons are twats.

For me its the students at the hs next to the co-op I go to. They ALL get to leave for lunch. starting at like, 10:45. so its like any time between 10:45 and 2 the store is crawling with like, 40 extra people who have no social graces. A good number of them are polite and quiet but the same number are super loud and high fivey and trying to be loudly cool to compensate for not being confident and it makes my shopping experience unpleasant. Plus the lines are long. 

SmashJam

@zande2016 we got a table tree last year and put it in the center of our island with a runner. It was nice. the only presents under it were the books DS picked out for is advent calendar. This year I am pushing for a HUGE tree and though it may ruin the ambiance we might put our gate up around it that we used to keep DS out of the fire place at our old rental.  Or we might go table tree again, who knows.

zombiehoohaa

pumpkinpancake said:

My TW goes out to whoever in my office decided it’s their job to douse the bathroom in air freshener every time they use it. I mean a spritz or two would be ok, but they literally spray so much that you can smell it down the hall. Pregnant or not, that much air freshener is enough to make me gag. I’d rather smell normal bathroom smells than this disgusting artificial air freshener smell!! 

I've actually started taking Poopouri into the bathroom with me at work, whether I go #2 or not. I spray a few squirts before I leave the restroom. I've noticed people don't use the spray as much. I'm doing my good deed to the environment and my pregnant nose. 

Duckie678

My TW is to the people at work messing with me. I work in a construction office, and normally I can handle the teasing or joking around but I've been sensitive yesterday and today and I don't want to tell anyone at work yet. I'm trying really hard to keep it under wraps until after the first of the year but I've already had two people (guys, no less!) ask me if I was expecting. 

runsomewhere

We need to spell out Twat Waffle in this threat title. I've been avoiding this thread thinking it was the weeks trigger warning topics (losses) 

amdftw

@zande2016 The first year my DS was mobile we put a one of those big baby gates around the tree.  He was just over a year old then.

zande2016

Thanks for the tree suggestions all. Guess I'm going to have to finally bite the bullet and buy some type of baby gate.Sigh. 

bearmomma1

Ah! @runsomewhere now I know what the other TW means. Couldn’t figure that out. Thank you

acunamatada

@zombiehoohaa can I just say I love poopouri!! People give me sh*t (pun intended) for giving it out as gag gifts but it's so practical! I always keep it in my purse 

zombiehoohaa

acunamatada me, too! My brother introduced me to it a few years ago and my life has changed. I literally keep a bottle in my purse and one at home. Funny story: my sister, niece and I were at Kaiser to pick up medications. My sister had to go to the bathroom. So we all decide to go. As she is taking a deuce, I asked, "Are you pooping? Dangit, I have poopouri in my purse. I would have given it to you to use". Well...unbeknownst to me, there was another woman in the restroom. She is busting up laughing at my comment. My sister just laughed. The lady said that was the laugh she needed for her day. I really have no shame...everyone poops!

pumpkinpancake

@zombiehoohaa @acunamatada what is this poopourri that you speak of?? Is it less offensive than normal air fresheners? Maybe I should get some and switch it out for the one in our work bathroom...

acunamatada

@pumpkinpancake it's definitely less offensive! It's this EO/magical spray that you spray into the toilet before you poop and it holds ALL the smell in. It's amazing. 

ethnomusicwhat

Oh my word, I have totally forgotten about poopourri!  I love that stuff, and with my sensitive nose lately, well, DH's bathroom visits have been gag-inducing.  Looks like I need to head to the store. 

zombiehoohaa

@pumpkinpancake It's this essential oil based spray that you spritz 3-5 times prior to pooping. They have different scents, I prefer the Vanilla-Lavender-Citrus or vanilla-mint-citrus. Then what acunamatada said. It's AAAAAMMMMAAZING! We no longer use sprays afterwards, because this really flushes the hazardous fumes down the toilet with everything else. 
https://www.poopourri.com/pages/how-it-works 

zombiehoohaa

Additionally, when the littles (8 y/o niece, 5 y/o nephew, and 2 y/o nephew) go, they think its the greatest thing to spray before going. And those kids know how to bomb a bathroom!

stillcozy

yes Poopouri is the best!!

stillziggysmom

My TwatWaffle Tuesday is this chick (not a parent) commenting on that really hilarious video about flying with children. She straight up is spouting nonsense about how if children are too young to behave well on a plane they should not be allowed. She even goes so far as to say that family and friends should fly to THEM, and people to not move enough to justify babies and small children being allowed to fly. WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?!?!?!? Tell that to the wretched adults I've sat next to on airplanes, or the parent of an autistic teenager! Anyone countering her is "what's wrong with this country," in her words. I guess that's it for going to see our families, right? My husband's ENTIRE family has too many medical issues to travel beyond the freaking grocery store, so obviously they shouldn't be permitted to have any relationship with our son since it would inconvenience a few people for a few hours that ONE time they're on a plane with us.

Sorry. It made my blood boil SO much. She was just so rude and entitled and just an overall uninformed nightmare. 

Phew! That felt good, lol.

stillcozy

@d_marie_23 vent girl Vent! that is what this is here for also in terms of her personality 

stillziggysmom

@lindsayleigh1989 Yay for a safe venting space! Lol. I didn't think the hormones were getting to me too badly this pregnancy because I've been super level headed... and then I realized I have zero control over calling out the nasty people (like the one above) on Facebook that I normally ignore. Woops  

stillcozy

nope you are just fine! I like people like that fe free to bring that fire to the board too! we all need to know when we are acting out of line