Oh man, I can't believe my lack of interest in skin cream means I've been missing our very own board drama!
@suchaglencoco and @JNCPro3130 hit the nail on the head. If people seriously think this board is rude I can only think they have never seen... the rest of the internet. Or the rest of the world.
@bcmountainmama in the thread about making pregnancy fun, the poster literally never even introduced herself first before just immediately asking what was, frankly, a really weird question. I'm honestly surprised she didn't get flamed more than she did.
This is not intended to be a board where random people all over the internet just jump in, ask one question, and are never seen again. There are tons of forums like that out there if that's what they want. I personally like that this is a community of people who actually are trying to get to know each other, and sticking together for 9 months. Some people will post more and some less and that's fine, but I don't blame anyone for not having a lot of patience for people who show up, ignore all the really clear rules at the top of the board, and then immediately start a discussion all about them.
@laurentzfactor I hear you loud and clear. I’ve noticed it too. The board can be really supportive and a great resource, but it can also be very unwelcoming and rude.
It was rude to post giffs about how you should read before you ask rather than just answer or ignoring the damn question.
It it was rude when a woman last week asked how to make pregnancy more fun for her husband and someone posted a giff saying “ummm you are you?” Who says this?!
This is a community board for all of us who are expecting in May. All of us have a right to post and be active whenever we want regardless of our ability to participate frequently, or even to properly read previous answers.
Folks can call it snarky and think that makes it ok but it doesn’t. Snarky is a euphemism for rude. And there is no reason to be rude ever. There is no reason to bite back when someone says, “wow you made me feel unwelcome here.” That is a real person. With real feelings. Why berate her further for merely expressing that she felt unwelcome?
It may be less popular but I vote for kindness.
A, Why drudge this back up a few days after the dust settled?
B, Yes, people have a right to post when they want, but others have a right to respond how they want to respond, snark or no snark.
C, I think @charlestonchew nailed it on the head that it's rude to ask questions that have already been answered literally moments beforehand. If I was busy playing on my phone when DH was telling me something and moments later, I ask a question he just answered, I would expect him to call me out for being rude. D, I think part of being kind is respecting the way a community has been set up and respecting the flow already established. Another part of being kind is to give more than you take. This includes support.
E, I don't personally think this back and forth was rude or in need of a WK. The back and forth was really respectful compared to most boards. F, I love well placed gifs.
So just so we’re being clear.... Using ableistic terminology is not rude. However, asking people to introduce themselves and read a thread before responding/asking questions is. Just so we are being clear. I’m not going to lie I clicked on this thread initially on accident because the app jumped, so I don’t have much to contribute to the original point, BUT I’m so over people coming to this board and demanding we do things differently and pretty much asking some of us to change our personalities. I’m sarcastic. I’m going to respond to things pretty sarcastically a lot of the time, and it’s going to be called snark when it does happen. I’m not the only person here who is like this. I see some of the other boards and we have a truly supportive and dare I say welcoming group compared to say June... What other parenting or pregnancy board can you have a debate with someone and not have any names thrown or your character questioned??? I’ll wait.
@suchaglencoco me discussing early Black Friday shopping with @charlestonchew last night is the most “drama” I’ve encountered so far, and yeah it wasn’t really drama at all... It’s almost like we’re both adults and realize that each person can have a different opinion without it affecting the other one.
@suchaglencoco me discussing early Black Friday shopping with @charlestonchew last night is the most “drama” I’ve encountered so far, and yeah it wasn’t really drama at all... It’s almost like we’re both adults and realize that each person can have a different opinion without it affecting the other one.
This is what I love about our community. We can have a debate without name calling or being mean. People expressed opinions but in the end everyone just has different opinions and we move on.
By this time in my pregnancy in N15 I had two warnings and was walking on eggshells because of it. I can only echo the others who said this board is super kind and tame. I can’t imagine debating some of these topics IRL...I’m sure it wouldn’t be as kind and tame as how the ladies on this board handle themselves.
CAN WE HAVE A POST ABOUT NOT BEING SOMEONE'S GOOGLE?????? This is not baby center. We talk to each other and have genuine conversations. I am not here to answer someone's one off question about something they can search faster than post and ignore. I am invested with these ladies. I am sad about the miscarriage posts we have. I am missing a member who hasn't posted in a while. I am genuinely concerned with those who are getting not great news in their testing and sending good thoughts and prayers. That is the support I want in this group. Not randoms posting whatever question they could Google or should ask their OB about. If this is not the community you want to be a part of you have plenty of other options. I have certainly chose not to go to other sites because of their community.
Actually, stretchmark severity IS preventable. Genetics has a big part to play, but there are other factors that determine how badly the skin rips.
The stretch mark actually happens in the lower layer of skin that lotions generally do not reach (the dermis) which is why a lot of people think lotions are useless. The stretch mark happens when the skin isn't stretchy enough to accommodate the growth and spreading, so the elastc fibers in the dermis rip.
Lotions do increase the elasticity of the upper layer of skin (epidermis) which isn't terribly useful since that's not where a stretchmark happens, but they also relieve itching and increase circulation of blood to the dermis. You're essentially giving yourself a massage when you apply that lotion. That increased circulation does, in fact, reduce stretchmarks. It can't prevent them altogether, but increasing circulation helps feed the desperate-to-grow tissues in the dermis.
But the most effective way to maintain elasticity is to stay hydrated and eat well to maintain healthy collagen. And above all, don't gain weight too quickly. Steady weight gain allows the skin to stretch without ripping!
As for a lotion recommendation, I find Burt's Bees Belly Butter is my favorite. Itchiness disappears immediately and the smell is fantastic.
I would like to add that I've never gained weight quickly by choice. Unless you count getting pregnant, because that I definitely did on purpose and plan to gain weight in 8 months time.
After reading others' reactions to this thread, I feel motivated to keep it alive lol. The forum needs a healthy balance of "deep" and emotionally satisfying threads as well as "shallow" threads about bump cream and Christmas tree polls.
After reading others' reactions to this thread, I feel motivated to keep it alive lol. The forum needs a healthy balance of "deep" and emotionally satisfying threads as well as "shallow" threads about bump cream and Christmas tree polls.
Well thats kind of rude. I don't think a fun GTKY poll is shallow. It's a fun way to get to know other bumpers and keep conversations moving along. I'll leave this here in case other drivebys were wondering about this angle.
After reading others' reactions to this thread, I feel motivated to keep it alive lol. The forum needs a healthy balance of "deep" and emotionally satisfying threads as well as "shallow" threads about bump cream and Christmas tree polls.
Aw! You think me/everyone else trying to get know people here is shallow? How neat!
It’s cool, you don’t have to illicit your opinions or preferences in those types of forums, and can stick with educating us all with your vast knowledge of stretch marks. I’d love to know what you data banks have to say about cellulite! Or hemorrhoids!
@mamabird515 no joke, after I had my son, the best thing ever was just sticking a tucks pad in between my butt cheeks and just letting it chill there. Haha
does that fall into deep conversation or shallow conversation? Still unclear.
@mamabird515 no joke, after I had my son, the best thing ever was just sticking a tucks pad in between my butt cheeks and just letting it chill there. Haha
does that fall into deep conversation or shallow conversation? Still unclear.
Depends on how bad your hemorrhoids are? Mine were pretty bad last go around tbh. It was worse to me that the recovery from tearing imo
After reading others' reactions to this thread, I feel motivated to keep it alive lol. The forum needs a healthy balance of "deep" and emotionally satisfying threads as well as "shallow" threads about bump cream and Christmas tree polls.
@mamabird515 no joke, after I had my son, the best thing ever was just sticking a tucks pad in between my butt cheeks and just letting it chill there. Haha
does that fall into deep conversation or shallow conversation? Still unclear.
Depends how far up you stuck the Tucks lol
But also i am in agreement that Tucks are life. Specifically refrigerated Tucks. Definitely satisfying.
Re: Bump cream
Oh man, I can't believe my lack of interest in skin cream means I've been missing our very own board drama!
@suchaglencoco and @JNCPro3130 hit the nail on the head. If people seriously think this board is rude I can only think they have never seen... the rest of the internet. Or the rest of the world.
@bcmountainmama in the thread about making pregnancy fun, the poster literally never even introduced herself first before just immediately asking what was, frankly, a really weird question. I'm honestly surprised she didn't get flamed more than she did.
This is not intended to be a board where random people all over the internet just jump in, ask one question, and are never seen again. There are tons of forums like that out there if that's what they want. I personally like that this is a community of people who actually are trying to get to know each other, and sticking together for 9 months. Some people will post more and some less and that's fine, but I don't blame anyone for not having a lot of patience for people who show up, ignore all the really clear rules at the top of the board, and then immediately start a discussion all about them.
D, I think part of being kind is respecting the way a community has been set up and respecting the flow already established. Another part of being kind is to give more than you take. This includes support.
F, I love well placed gifs.
Maybe we should hide a fun thread in a "we're not Google thread" haha.
The stretch mark actually happens in the lower layer of skin that lotions generally do not reach (the dermis) which is why a lot of people think lotions are useless.
The stretch mark happens when the skin isn't stretchy enough to accommodate the growth and spreading, so the elastc fibers in the dermis rip.
Lotions do increase the elasticity of the upper layer of skin (epidermis) which isn't terribly useful since that's not where a stretchmark happens, but they also relieve itching and increase circulation of blood to the dermis. You're essentially giving yourself a massage when you apply that lotion. That increased circulation does, in fact, reduce stretchmarks. It can't prevent them altogether, but increasing circulation helps feed the desperate-to-grow tissues in the dermis.
But the most effective way to maintain elasticity is to stay hydrated and eat well to maintain healthy collagen.
And above all, don't gain weight too quickly. Steady weight gain allows the skin to stretch without ripping!
As for a lotion recommendation, I find Burt's Bees Belly Butter is my favorite. Itchiness disappears immediately and the smell is fantastic.
I'll leave this here in case other drivebys were wondering about this angle.
It’s cool, you don’t have to illicit your opinions or preferences in those types of forums, and can stick with educating us all with your vast knowledge of stretch marks. I’d love to know what you data banks have to say about cellulite! Or hemorrhoids!
does that fall into deep conversation or shallow conversation? Still unclear.
I feel like discussing hemorrhoids is pretty deep. I mean, I don't just discuss that with anyone.
Even if some of you are shallow.
But also i am in agreement that Tucks are life. Specifically refrigerated Tucks. Definitely satisfying.