Depressed...help

Knottied2f0b6d8a8dac83a

Help..

Hi so I just need to vent I’m due in March but will deliver in February due to incompetent cervix and I have a vehicular cerclage and have been on bedrest since 16 weeks. I absolutely can do nothing and can’t have a baby shower and therefore can’t work I’m so depressed that our son has almost nothing and no family to give “hand me downs” we seriously can barely pay bills much less stuff for our baby it’s so depressing and I don’t know how much more I can take...I registered at Amazon and target but we really have no friends or family that would even buy so I wasted my time and it sucks so bad I just don’t know what to do anymore we need absolutely everything 

stillcozy

If you are that desperate look for charities in your area. but i dont think anyone on here can help much except suggest similar things also if you are depressed you need to reach out to your dr for assisstance 

CecilB93

Definitely talk to your doctor about something to help with the depression. There are meds that are safe during pregnancy!

Maybe check out churches in your area? Regardless of your religious beliefs churches can be very helpful! 

lovesclimbing

The others are right about the depression.

Regarding your finances, the good thing is, your baby needs practically nothing until they are about 3 months old. All you need are clothing, food, a place to sleep, and a car seat assuming your baby will need to travel in a car.  

-Clothing - have your spouse or SO look at thrift stores for clothing. I buy most of our daughter's clothes at consignment events. Look for those (you can do so online from bed) or swap events. Often, you can find practically new clothing and clothing in great condition for very cheap. I find really nice Carters onesies for $1. 
For diapers, buying bulk, if you can, is cheaper than buying small packs. Cloth diapers are the most affordable if you are able to save up and pay the initial outlay for them. Again, consignment events and secondhand. Cloth diaper reselling is a big thing and you can find them pretty easily for much cheaper than brand new. 

-Sleeping - you can co-sleep and won't even need a bed for several months. If you don't want to do that, have you ever heard of a baby box? It's just a box that babies sleep in. You could also use a dresser drawer or a Rubbermaid tote. You just need a firm pad. For the first couple months, we used our couch cushions in a box so there were edges so she couldn't fall off!

-Feeding - obviously, try as hard as you can to breastfeed. You'll probably eat a bit more than normal, but you don't need bottles. If you do need to bottlefeed, try to pump so you don't have to buy formula. Expensive electric pumps are nice, but you don't need one. I know a woman who worked a regular job and pumped everything she needed for her child with a manual pump. If you do need formula, there are tons of coupons out there. 

-Car seat - you can find used ones out there. The consignment events I go to allow used car seats as long as they're not expired. You can find them for cheap. You also don't need a fancy expensive one. There are federal standards all seats have to meet, so don't worry about a cheap seat not being safe. 

That's all you really need for the first few months. A lot of websites and lists will try to tell you that you need all sorts of things, but you really don't. Babies don't need or get interested in toys until 3-4 months. I still don't have a stroller. I made my own baby wearing wrap from a length of muslin. Google or Pinterest diy baby wearing wraps. If you use a knit fabric, you don't even have to hem it. Order a length online or have your spouse or SO buy some at JoAnn's or order off JoAnn's website. JoAnn's ALWAYS has coupons on their website good in-store and online. There's always a 40 or 50% off one item coupon on their website. One piece of fabric, regardless of length, counts as one item. 

You CAN have a shower if someone offers to throw you one. Many people have them after the baby is born. I've been to several. Even if you did have a shower before the baby is born, there's no guarantee you'd get everything you need. I didn't get most of the things I registered for. 

Finally, try to put a tiny bit of money aside each month to budget for the baby's needs. 

wildtot

I had a similar situation with my son. I was on bedrest all first tri then full disability all third tri. No baby shower for us but my mom got us a lot of cheap baby clothes that worked out perfectly to ruin with all the spit up and blow outs. Because i had a tough pregnancy i feel like it contributed to my ppd. So i highly recommend talking to your doctor if your already experiencing depression. Things have a way of working out and babies need less than you think at the beginning. Like the other ladies said there are many resources out there you can look into. Best of luck!