Weekly Chat - 11/12

catlady2015

What are you looking forward to this week?

What are you dreading? 

Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? 

Random thoughts?

GTKY: What's your favorite game? Pick a game, any game (card, video, board, etc.)!

catlady2015

What are you looking forward to this week? Getting close to thanksgiving!

What are you dreading? A dear friend of DH's has been really sick for a long time, and we don't think he has much time left. In a way it's a relief b/c he won't be in pain anymore, but DH'll have to go see him next weekend (it's a 7-hour trip there). I hope he makes it long enough for him to say goodbye in person.  

Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? Just keep up with things, aside from planning our Thanksgiving menu! 

Random thoughts? Hugs to all you awesome ladies. 

GTKY: What's your favorite game? Pick a game, any game (card, video, board, etc.)! We are big game people in my family, and DH isn't a fan, which really stinks. I guess my favorite would be Mille Bornes, a french car card game. You have to draw cards to start your vehicle, and then go 1000 miles. Other players can give you car trouble, flat tires, stop you, etc. Otherwise, I'm a huge Super Mario fan. 

maureenmce

What are you looking forward to this week?

It being over so thanksgiving break can start!

What are you dreading? 

Ugh, this week is going to be nuts bevsuse we have a ton of deadlines at work and we're off (unpaid! the glamour  of reality tv, lol!) all next week and we have to get everything done before then. Also dreading having to start the job hunt soon, since my current show wraps mid January. Gonna have to get that going this week.

Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? 

Job hunting, as I mentioned above, and calorie counting every day + working out 3 times.

Random thoughts?

I am surprised how surprised I am, every single year, about how quickly time moves from the day after Halloween until the end of the year. 

GTKY: What's your favorite game? Pick a game, any game (card, video, board, etc.)!

I love Scattergories! We played it all the time when I was younger and I still love it.

And @catlady2015 I'm so sorry about your DH's friend. Hope he makes it to say goodbye. 

kindbytealikat

@catlady2015 I'm so sorry about the friend, I hope your DH makes it in time. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers. 
@maureenmce I play a mean game of Scattergories

What are you looking forward to this week? DS Birthday party Wednesday...And this probably sounds horrible but my in-laws leaving and having my house to myself again. 

What are you dreading? I am always dreading my in-laws leaving because I think DS is going to really struggle with it this time. 

Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? Naw just trying to get to Saturday 

Random thoughts? So my in-laws made and offer to DH to either 1. Give us money to put toward a house or 2. Buy us a house and do a rent to own on it for us. I don't know how I feel about this. On one hand I and so very very grateful and this takes the pressure of me to go back to work before I'm ready on the other hand I hate being indebted to people and have a really hard time excepting help. 

GTKY: What's your favorite game? Pick a game, any game (card, video, board, etc.)! It really depends on my mood. I like almost anything Mario/Yoshi related on console, and play the classic NES AND SNES more than other consoles we have. I play a lot of various games PC with Sims or Stardew Valley being my favorites. My favorite card games are Spades and Hand&Foot and Mexican Train dominoes

meggyme

@kindbytealikat we had financial help from my inlaws when we bought our first house. They basically gave us an interest free loan to help with the down payment. And while it caused some complaining about how we spend our money (most on DH’s part because he’s the spender in our family) it ended up being a great investment for us. We were able to pay off the loan within a few years and made $80k on the house, so ultimately I would do it the same way all over again.

catlady2015

@kindbytealikat - the mario games so much. I almost exclusively play our Wii, which has some older school Nintendo games on it. Also used to play Crash Bandicoot all the time. 

We haven't bought a house yet, either, but that has more to do with work stability/location. I know I would have a hard time accepting that kind of help, either from my parents or my in-laws, so I feel for you! But at the end of the day, it comes down to what you're comfortable with. Would you be comfortable accepting the help and staying home longer? Would it be easier to accept the money to put towards the house (so it's not so much help) or could you work out rent to own payments that are feasible for your current budget? GL with this! I know there's no easy answer here. 

dreamscapes_

@catlady2015 I hope your DH makes it in time to say goodbye! I've never heard of that game, but it sounds interesting!

@maureenmce FX that the job hunting goes well for you! Hopefully this week won't be too insane for you. I honestly am not sure if I've ever played Scattergories.

@kindbytealikat Happy birthday to your DS! I absolutely understand wanting some time without the in-laws. That is an insanely generous offer re: the house. Also understand the difficulty accepting help. Both DH and I are like that. What's your favorite Mario power-up? I always liked the raccoon tail, but I LOVE the penguin suit in Super Mario Wii.

We haven't bought a house yet, either. We're okay with renting for a while longer, so that's okay.

What are you looking forward to this week? Going home and sleeping in my own bed and not having to deal with either set of parents for a while.

What are you dreading? Not really "dreading" as more "I'd rather not", but going back to work on Friday.

Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? I'm going to teach my FIL how to make peanut butter dog biscuits either today or tomorrow.

Random thoughts? I'm very tired. But I'm always tired, so that's nothing new. My MIL wasn't particularly thrilled when we told her we were trying, since we've had a rough year financially. Once we explained the reasoning (my low AMH and the fact that I'm 33), she seemed to understand it a little better.

GTKY: What's your favorite game? Pick a game, any game (card, video, board, etc.)! No one's ever heard of it, but there's a video board game from the 90s called Nightmare. It's amazing. My brother actually made me a DVD copy of the tape about a year ago. I also love Mario, Cards Against Humanity, Exploding Kittens, and Organ Attack.

CecilB93

@catlady2015 sorry to hear about the friend, hope DH is doing okay.

@maureenmce good luck job hunting! DH and I play scattergories with our friends and totally dominate, lol.

@kindbytealikat happy birthday to your DS!!

@dreamscapes_ good luck teaching FIL how to make the dog biscuits!

Looking forward to: going out for dinner and drinks with some girls from work on Wednesday. We're a large branch (bank) so I'm still getting to know some ladies, these monthly dinners help! Plus I get the inside scoop on gossip, lol. Petty, I know...

Dreading: I have a horrible cold/maybe sinus infection, so this week just sucks in general because of that.

Goals: clean the house!! My mom is going to be coming to town next week and we need to get the place cleaned up.

Random: my aunt asked me to make green bean casserole for thanksgiving. One, she knows I don't like it. Two, I've never mad enough it before! No idea what I'm doing!!

GTKY: DH and I love Cards Against Humanity. I also love Pandemic, Settlers of Catan, some zombie game with Winter in the name (I think...it's a board game), Minecraft, Lego Marvel and Lego Batman (both PS4).

meggyme

What are you looking forward to this week?
DH comes home Thursday

What are you dreading? 
Not too much, but I'm not feeling great. So... everything?

Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week? 
I have to bake something for my department potluck Wednesday. I ran out of flour while I was making blood orange cake and the bananas I got for banana bread are way too green. 

Random thoughts?
I've been watching orphan black. It's a really interesting show.

GTKY: What's your favorite game? Pick a game, any game (card, video, board, etc.)! I used to play a card game called Nertz (Idk how it's spelled) but it's like multi-player solitaire. We used to play it at water polo tournaments with my team.

CecilB93

@meggyme you can fix the banana issue! Put them in a 350 degree oven until the skins turn black, I do it all the time  

meggyme

CecilB93 said:

@meggyme you can fix the banana issue! Put them in a 350 degree oven until the skins turn black, I do it all the time  

Stuck:

Thanks! I knew there was a way to do it and I was going to try this afternoon. Now I need more flour too...

mermaidca

@catlady2015 So sorry to hear about your husband's friend. I hope he gets out there in time.
@maureenmce Reality TV!?  My favourite kind of TV! Good luck with the job hunt.
@kindbytealikat Happy Birthday to your DS!  Borrowing money from family is tough.  My sister and her husband borrowed money from his parents and now they feel like they get to have a say in how they spend all their money.  Not saying yours would do the same though.
@dreamscapes_ Glad to hear your MIL was understanding when you explains the circumstances.
@CecilB93 I do not like green beans in any shape or form.  Good luck with that, ha!
@meggyme I second the bananas in the oven - works like a charm!

What are you looking forward to this week?  Finally have DH on board for cleaning the entire house before the holidays come and we host a bunch of family and friends.  We started on the garage this weekend and he seems eager to continue.

What are you dreading?  Craft sale season starts this weekend.  It's so hard to tell what will sell each year.  Setting up a whole table, spending a day there and then not selling anything makes for a hard day.

Have any goals/things you want to get accomplished this week?  I need to get back in the gym.  That stomach bug took me out for a long time.

Random thoughts? 

GTKY: Favourite game - +1 for Mexican Train Dominos!  I am such a Debbie Downer.  I don't usually like games, I'd rather not play, I usually just watch.  This goes for pretty much any games - cards, sports, video.  I do play a mean set of beer pong but that may be the only "game" I get excited for.

maureenmce

@kindbytealikat Late to this, but definitely take the help if you can find a way to be okay with it, it'll be worth it in the end! Though, I would say take the money for the down payment over them buying you a house and then doing the whole rent to own situation. (Choosing a house is so personal and the rent to own thing would be so long term!) But good luck deciding! 

Edited to add more general chat thoughts: Normally, I'm fine with pregnancy and baby announcements, but lately it's been like a freaking tidal wave and I haven't been doing great with it. And today there was a baby born with one of my top two baby girl name choices, and I don't know why that especially hurt, but I think I've been super sensitive after TW my miscarriage end TW and I'm hoping this over sensitivity passes soon, because I know with the holidays, this is hardly going to be the last pregnancy announcement! 

mermaidca

@maureenmce I'm so sorry to hear that.  Baby announcements are hard, especially when they are so close to you.  Be kind to yourself.

meggyme

@maureenmce it’s understandable that a new baby with a name dear to your heart would hit especially hard. Allow yourself to react as you need.

mermaidca

Warning - long-winded rant ahead.

I'm going a bit BSC today.  DH got a call from the company he interviewed with months ago saying that he is 100% perfect for the job but everyone is stuck in red tape and head office (in England or somewhere far) is holding things up and the regional guy in San Fran is notoriously slow.  So they said that they are thinking January but there was no official offer just this guy saying "The job is yours we just have to wait".  Now I'm going crazy about when I should get my IUD out and start planning and my mind just won't stop.  DH wants this new job (with a significant bump in pay) so we can be secure in the future with another baby and I'm just putting the cart waaaay ahead of the horse.  And of course I don't feel like I can bring this up to him because he doesn't even have an offer it's just talk at this point.  He is more cautious and responsible than I am and I can't imagine this conversation with him would get me any further ahead...ugh.  Baby fever is hitting me hard lately.

meggyme

@mermaidca that's so exciting that he might have the job! I ha don't a similar situation while I waited on my security clearance to come through. It's tough to not get your hopes up when it all seems so promising.

lalala2004

@kindbytealikat yeah, borrowing money from family can be awkward. FIL paid off one of DH’s student loans and we just pay him back interest free. I think he just likes having more monthly income since they are retired. They’ve offered more loans, but I would be pretty uncomfortable with more than what we are already doing. It’s great to have family help, but I don’t think we should buy a house until we can do it on our own. Unfortunately that has meant waiting a while. DH calculates how much we’ve paid in rent for some strange reason, and the number hurts!

@mermaidca I’ll play devil’s advocate. It takes 9 months to make a baby, and that gives you time to figure out financials. You could wait forever and it still won’t feel like the perfect time. Things have a way of working out. Yeah, the more money you have the better, but babies aren’t as expensive as people make them out to be. When they’re teenagers, that’s when you have to worry!

mermaidca

@lalala2004 That's totally how I'm thinking.  That's always my argument!  We wouldn't have a new baby tomorrow, it would be at the absolute soonest in 9ish months.  That's a long time.  He won't listen to that.  We already have other kids so we have most everything we need already.  I wish he would just admit that I'm right and let me have my way haha.

lalala2004

@mermaidca your DH sounds like mine, always worried about money. Ultimately, though, I think he was just so happy to have condom free sex that he wasn’t going to say no

CecilB93

@mermaidca I feel you girl. Since DH didn't get his promotion/raise when he was supposed to (and won't until February...) we have to hold off on TTC. With two in daycare it'll be over $1000 for us, and we can't do that until he gets that raise. I've been wracking my brain trying to find a way to save up money/sell things/whatever so we can still start this month, but I know realistically we're avoiding until at least April...it sucks. But hopefully your DH comes around soon! Maybe once he gets a legit offer he'll be more open to trying asap?

mermaidca

@lalala2004 Maybe that's how I'll convince him!  Haha.  I'll have to get my IUD out then say we'll need to use condoms....or not....

@CecilB93 I hear you!  Our girls go to an unregistered dayhome in our community because any other option would totally negate my paycheque.  I have plans to change careers and stay home when we add a third because 3 kids in childcare will be an arm and a leg!!!  I tried selling some of those direct sales things, and I sell some of my crafty stuff but it's hard to get real significant income from those kinds of things.
How ridiculous that their screw up is messing with your family.  Not fair!!!  I wish these weren't issues families have to think about before trying to add little ones.

maureenmce

@mermaidca Ugh, totally feel you. I'm benched for the moment, but I will have to decide soon whether we want to start trying again in Dec or wait until Jan and it's largely going to hinge on job stuff too, which is so frustrating, because I am totally in baby fever mode. But I work freelance and I don't want to start trying until I lock down my next job, BUT the holidays are literally the worst time in my industry to hunt, so who knows if I'll be able to lock anything down soon?  Also yes, to everyone on the high daycare costs. I want to have a second kid like yesterday but once we have two in daycare it will cost (gulp) roughly $2500 a month, which does kind of make me want to cry.

mermaidca

@maureenmce Good luck again with the job hunt.  $2500 a month is insane.  Ours are $850 each so 3 will put us around there.  Not happening. 

Side note - I wrote "Good lunch" instead of luck.  Food on the brain.  I guess my salad didn't quite cut it for me today.

maureenmce

@mermaidca Yeah, $2500 a month is indeed, completely insane. My husband and I revisit the idea of moving away from LA pretty much every time we talk about the 2 in daycare costs. We'll see!  Also, "good lunch" cracked me up. Once I started to write brainstorming on my calendar but got distracted in the middle of writing and it just said BRAINS in all caps. I laughed about that for like a month. 

CecilB93

Regarding daycare, we're lucky and DH works for the Army Corps of Engineers, so we get a subsidy and have to pay something like the amount of the closest military daycare. So we currently pay $430 for DS, a newborn is around $650 I think. Otherwise it'd be about $2500 for us as well, which I'd just have to quit working at that point! And I actually really enjoy my job!!

meggyme

@cecilb93 that’s a nice benefit! I wish more companies did stuff like that. They might retain more of their family aged talent.

maureenmce

@meggyme Yeah, I wish that happened more too. I know one major reason there's a lack of women in positions of authority in my field is that many have to drop out of their career, usually at a crucial time, for a few years when their children are small because daycare here is so expensive. And some don't return at all. It sucks.