Strangers — The Bump
Multiples

Strangers

This has been on my mind for a while, and I want to get other people's opinions and experiences. I had my two month old (born on time and healthy) twins out shopping and one was crying. Now, don't get me wrong, I was used to strangers' comments and even them leaning in a little bit to see the babies. (I rarely covered them with blankets or anything because summers here are very hot and humid.) But, this particular time, one stranger leaned all the way in and touched him and another reached in and gave him the pacifier that was in his seat. I was shocked! If I remember correctly, I got out wipes and wiped his hands and face as soon as they walked away. I just couldn't believe it, though. This has happened a few more times since, but I politely push past so it doesn't go too far since I don't always have wipes handy when shopping. What have you done in this situation if you have experienced it? I feel like a bad mom sometimes because I have "let" people get so close to my twins. Please only kind responses.

Re: Strangers

  • Why does this make you a bad mom? I don't know that this situation would have freaked me out, they were just handing your child its pacifier, they did not try to pick them up without asking. I took all the help I could get with my twins. DH and I would walk into church and folks would immediately come and take them. They were around and but sometimes I could not see them, but knew they would make their way back to me if they were fussy or hungry. DH and I treasured that hour of the week where we got a break. Plus it helped them be OK with being around a lot of people and not freaking out if it wasn't just me holding them. That was a life saver for me. I also don't disinfect the crap out of my children or the things they come into contact with. 
    *TW*
    TTC 1/2012
    Diagnosed : unexplained infertility
    6 rounds of IUI and a MC 2/2014, rainbow twins 4/2015
    TTC #3 5/2016
    Restarted Fertility tx
    IUI 2 rounds, baby girl 12/17

  • I guess my concern was that these people were complete strangers. I'm absolutely not a habitual disinfecter, but I freaked out for some reason then. My whole reason for taking them out is to get them familiar with places and people, but it was just something about that day, plus had seen strollers with do not touch signs, etc. I am usually more laid back because our twins are also very popular at church. (Maybe I'm not bothered as much because I am familiar with the people there and in the nursery.) It's just that in reading some of these boards and posts, other moms can make it seem like even the smallest thing is harmful to an infant.
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  • Umm yeah, I'd be pretty upset as well. Strangers would try to touch our twins and I would remind them that they wouldn't like me trying to pick them up or trying to shove something in their mouth.
    They're your children. Tell people to back off if you aren't comfortable.  
    Our twins are almost 2 and got passed around a lot to friends and family as babies. They can be left with a family friend they haven't seen in months and be perfectly fine for a few hours. Aunts and uncles pick them up with no problems or crying. They were not held by strangers. We didn't go overboard with disinfectants. But we have set boundaries with certain scenarios and we stick by them. 
    People seem to think just because they're babies, they don't deserve personal space and that is so wrong.
  • edited January 2018
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