TW/Trophy Tuesday 10/17

peachy13

peachy13

I'm selfishly starting this thread because I just can't with my mom on Facebook. She is your typical relative who likes a photo 2 weeks after it was posted, and comments on every single post something generic like "love it!" or "too funny!" -- pretty harmless -- but I logged in this morning to discover that late last night (after some drinks I'm sure), she shared one of those bullshit articles from a sketchy right-wing news source. UGH MOM. I'm sorry but when someone shares stuff like this and think it's a real article or real photo from a credible source, and think they need to share this in order to educate others, I realize there are a lot of stupid fucking people out there. I hate that my mom of all people is turning into one of these people who I usually unfollow. It's weird because she's so tame and normal in real life, but it's after some drinking with my step-dad and watching Fox News and browsing social media, they turn into political analysts who know everything. I'm mostly just embarrassed because she is "friends" with many of my friends, and is already probably getting the boot from some of them. Oh well.

anewadventure

catching up on yesterday's posts.... i think a trophy that represents the world's biggest twatwaffle hereby goes to @kyrwyn's mom. 
she's lucky you didn't murder her on the spot. so i guess with that in mind, @kyrwyn gets a trophy herself!! and after delivery, allllll the stinkin' chocolate chip cookies and pie you can eat! 

families are stupid. people are stupid. i get that. "rolling out" a random color of paint on another wall in the house? i'm sputtering. i don't even have words for this. 

TigerCakes

@peachy13 Your mom sounds exactly like my mom! She shares numerous political things dailt, but admits that she doesn’t know if they are true or not.  I told her to stop sharing them then, but she doesn’t care! Also, if I post an album of 20 pictures she will like and comment on everyone and share it on her page.

No TWs for me yet but the day is young!

elev2017

@anewadventure I also definitely felt extreme rage on @kyrwyn 's behalf. I'd have been absolutely livid.

My TW for the day is DH. We have a contractor coming to start work on finishing our attic TODAY and I've been asking/reminding/nagging DH to move all the stuff out of there in time since he told me last week when the guy would be starting work. Well, of course, I go upstairs this morning and sure enough, there's still stuff in the attic AND he's moved a good portion of the crap into our bedroom (which is in the other half of the attic). I'm SO annoyed, but I can't even get mad it him today because it's his birthday! Tomorrow on the other hand...  

babybison

TW: The new lady at work who has been sick for days sneezed on me yesterday and today my throat is itchy and my nose is runny. Could be psychosomatic, but I'm pissed nonetheless. Don't sneeze on people!

Also agree with @anewadventure that @kyrwyn deserves all the trophies. 

kyrwyn

@anewadventure I told DH that you & "the mommy board" had awarded a TW Trophy to my mom... and he decided to fixate on the concept of a twatwaffle.  After careful thought, DH informs me that he imagines it to be a circular belgian waffle folded into a moderately suggestive shape, with a strategically placed strawberry and maybe some artistically inappropriate whipped cream.

I have been laughing too hard since to be angry anymore. 

kyrwyn

@peachy13 I, too, have some seriously right-wing family (and of course some seriously left-wing friends). While they can see each other's posts, they mostly ignore one another and don't engage. On the rare occasion they do, I hide in the equivalent of a FB bunker and wait out the storm. GOOD LUCK!  

@leilagphillips I'd be murderously angry with DH if he pulled that, too. Birthday or not. I'll give you one of my bumpie-awarded trophies for not ruining his birthday. 

@babybison I hope it's just psychosomatic. Don't sneeze on people! And definitely don't sneeze on the pregnant lady! (Jerkface new coworker.)

peachy13

@babybison ugh so nasty! I would be pissed too. There was someone on the T yesterday who was coughing without covering his mouth and I was seriously trying to hold my breath and contemplated switching trains. People are gross.

eta: T is slang for Boston subway

elcd458

@peachy13  We have the same mom.  And the thing is, old lady moms on FB don't know any better because all their old lady mom FB friends do the exact same thing.  For me, I think the worst part is that my mom is ALWAYS the first person to like or comment on ANYTHING someone posts (usually my friends who she has somehow added).  Like, OK mom, now everyone knows all you do all day is sit on the couch in the dark on your iPad. Congrats. 

MJDsquared

Old people on Facebook are the worst. DH's grandma (a Catholic one-issue voter) is constantly posting conservative 'news' that is clearly fake.

I'm really glad I unfriended my father because he feels the need to comment on everything, and his comments are always stupid/embarrassing. And the thing is, I'm sure he thought commenting on my stuff was so great and such a 'connection' for us and made him a good parent. Eye roll.

peachy13

@MJDsquared yeah it seems like you definitely made the right call for unfriending your dad. Being FB friends with family is so awkward. I'm really glad that our generation is growing up with social media and learning the unofficial guidelines on how not to be an annoying person online (though some still have a ton to learn). I hope that it will prevent my future kids from being embarrassed by me someday! 

kaylawing

@peachy13 our mothers sound very similar. My mom is constantly sharing political articles and such. The worst part? My husband (with very opposite political views from my mom and and most of my family) will occasionally comment on her stuff to explain another side and then they debate on Facebook. It’s awkward and terrible and neither of them are going to change the others’ mind. So just stop already. 

My TW award goes to a stranger who went the wrong way in a round about this morning and almost hit my car head on. Who manages to go the wrong way in a round about?!? There are arrows and signs and curbs to encourage the correct flow of traffic. People are terrible at driving. 

elev2017

@kaylawing WTF?! Don't round abouts (in the US at least) ALWAYS go right?!

elcd458

@kaylawing Not sure where you're located, but I live in a large metro area with terrible public transport, aka you can't survive without a personal vehicle.  What I've realized, though, is the industry here attracts huge swaths of workers from other parts of the country (big cities) where adults have never ever had to drive or own a car before. What ends up happening is you have a bunch of 30-50 somethings careening around worse than 15 year olds who just got a learners permit. 

skc040512

@elcd458 yessssss! And then they get mad at us because everything shuts down when there's ice on the roads 

elcd458

@Skcobb  Yes! It had just never occurred to me before until I had a new coworker from MA who was like 28 and had never had a license or car before, who swore to me it was perfectly normal. It was quite eye-opening. Hahaha

babybison

@kaylawing We have some circles with straight roads that go through, and the ONLY thing you're allowed to do is go straight. There's always an old lady trying to turn and throwing off all the traffic. North Jersey is a nightmare. 

oldersis

My twatwaffle is the nurse at my midwife's office. I called in this morning because I am on my last work trip and was up half the night with general abdominal pain and then stabbing pain in my lower right side this morning. She called back and said I should go to the ER. She called again and left me a voicemail that she told me to take ibuprofen and pregnant women should definitely not take ibuprofen. She HADN'T told me that, but what if I had already taken it?

Trophy goes to my midwife who called and told me it sounded musculoskeletal and to take a warm bath and Tylenol because an ER halfway across the country would send me to L&D and I would just be stressed and miss my flight home. And I felt much better after doing those things!

breezybee

Trophy!  Got a new housekeeper from my SIL’s recommendation and she seems so nice. She’ll start coming 1x a week starting next week!  Hallelujah!!  And she’s waaaaaay less expensive than all the housekeepers in the city. Welcome to the Burbs
I cant WAIT to have some order and cleanliness in my home again. Ugh remodeling and moving sucks ass. 
TW - Restoration hardware!  They charge so much money for shipping, it’s almost highway robbery. I spent $70 in drawer pulls and they want to charge a minimum of $17 for shipping. For 6 freaking pulls!  Assholes.  
Also trophy to my fallscape that I completed in front of my house, with my new front door color. Just call me Martha, ladies. 

Tennis11785

@peachy13 My mom did this recently too and I cringed. I called her an wrote something on her wall.

Glad you're feeling better @oldersis

My TW would just be my benefits Manger. I tried to schedule my maternity leave and it required being transfered to like 35 different people. 

mdcd44127

@breezybee Gorgeous!!! That photo could be on the front page of a magazine, it's very inspiring. Usually I do it up with different sized pumpkins and fall-leaf-garlands and all that, but right now I just have one small sugar pumpkin and a planter of dead mums (apparently you have to remember to water them to keep them alive... whoops!) And definitely love the door color.

elev2017

@breezybee The front of your house and fall scape look amazing! I'm a little jealous since I've just got a broken storm door, a couple of half dead mums by said door,and some seriously overgrown weeds and bushes in our front yard lol. Someday we'll get around to fixing it all up...

babybison

@breezybee Would you like to come decorate my house? Land of Nod also has crazy shipping costs, but it's free shipping if you put it on your registry first. RH may have the same deal?

babytimeagain

@breezybee I am in love with your fallscape/your porch! It's got so much character. Way to go on the decorating front! Also, housekeepers are the BEST investment in your home/sanity! I have a team that comes biweekly, and it's amazing. With both DH and me working full-time, not having to scrub toilets and showers on the weekends (or ever!) has truly been a godsend. 

mdcd44127

TW: My mom is on a frigging roll this week stressing me out. Some of you may remember I talked about her deciding not to throw me a shower (after promising she would) because [various lame reasons]... well I guess my BFF from high school called her the other day and made her feel guilty, so she just called me to tell me she is going to throw me one... 3 weeks before my due date. At this point DH & I have bought pretty much all the big stuff from my registry because we were told we weren't getting a shower, and I'm certainly not going to want to wait around that long to buy the rest of what we need. And I hate the idea of people flying from out of state to the Northeast in mid/late November. Like at this point I'm over the idea of a shower and this is so much unnecessary stress. I'm about to go bury my sorrows in a giant apple crisp at our local steakhouse.

kln62689

@djd0404 Oh man, only 3 weeks before you are due? I was just worrying today because mine is only 5 weeks before I am due. I cannot imagine being officially full term and waddling myself to an event like that. Not to mention the organization of the stuff you are going to have to do after the party. Ugh. I can see how you may think it would just be easier at this point to go without one than to have it so last minute. I'm sorry!

kln62689

TW - The property manager of our office building is finally working on the horribly leaky roof. For some reason it resulted in a nasty chemical smell coming into our building which we later were told was glue fumes. So I basically had to shuffle out of the office quickly and got told to work from home tomorrow to avoid it. I can wfh no big deal, but it is incredible to me that there is always something seriously wrong with our building. I work for a Fortune 500 company. It seems like working power, A/C, plumbing, structure, etc should be a baseline expectation. Oh also we are about 1 mile from a radioactive / on fire landfill which smells horrible and is arguably affecting the groundwater. I cannot believe we pay rent to be in the space. 

Trophy - The painter finished on my house today, and even replaced the light bulbs in the fan ceiling unit in our bathroom. There are no more ugly floral borders or bad floral draperies to speak of! We now have a nice neutral color throughout the house and are ready to get our own decor up as soon as we can get it out of storage. The painter was punctual, affordable, thorough and trustworthy. I feel like that's hard to find! 

failuretofly

TW is my mom, though also me because I kind of brought it on... Anyway... That 'me too' campaign that is going on on social media kind of made me think about sharing a story from when I was younger about a near-miss sexual assault experience I had as a kid with a babysitter (nothing *actually* happened, just a lot of inappropriate discussions/behavior). But I thought it best to tell my mom about it first because I never have, and thought she wouldn't appreciate reading it on FB/IG first. 
Well... she turns it around to make it about how awful it makes her feel... like as if me telling her was wrong because now she feels bad... No apology, not taking responsibility for leaving me with a creepy ass babysitter, or having me spend time with him and his family A LOT when we were younger. Just 'oh woe is me, I am so sad now'. Ugh... I don't know what I expected, because she always makes things about her... but... it just irritated me. And it's made me kind of ruminate over all the shitty parenting decisions my parents made when we were kids so I am just sitting over here feeling super resentful of my parents today. 

kaylawing

@leilagphillips yup! But she wanted to turn left so I guess her thought was instead of going most of the wat around the circle, she’d just go left? Who knows, but it scared me! 

@elcd458 I do live in an area with not much public transportation. There is a college here and there are busses that run on campus, and a few other city busses but that’s it. Most people have cars, but don’t know how to drive for some reason. 

Amber_Waves

@failuretofly that's terrible... what happened to you, what could have happened, and your mom's reaction!  Silence is a tool of rapists/harassers and her type of thinking just plays into their hands. Ugh.

peachy13

@failuretofly ugh i'm sorry to hear that and this is actually exactly the reason why I didn't participate in the "me too" campaign, because I didn't want my mom to see and be like WTF why did you never tell me. Because I was 13 and embarrassed, and even though nothing too serious happened, it was creepy and disgusting. 

We all get a lot of parenting advice but a few things have stuck with me. One thing my uncle said to me was to think about how you were raised and to take what worked and use it, and to take what didn't work and toss it. My mom was a great mother and raised us right but there is also a lot of behavior I plan to "toss."

failuretofly

@peachy13 yea that's what DH keeps reminding me as well... I guess I've just been focussing on the negatives a lot lately and need to try and find the positives but it's hard to sift through. I mean I didn't have a TERRIBLE childhood by any means but there were definitely a lot of things I would have done differently. 

elcd458

peachy13 said:

this is actually exactly the reason why I didn't participate in the "me too" campaign, because I didn't want my mom to see and be like WTF why did you never tell me. 

YEP! Same.  My mom would've called me immediately with Dad on speakerphone going OMG WHAT HAPPENED?!  Well, it was 10 years ago, and I'm fine. Also like a lot of women with lower self-esteem, I got the victim-blaming mentality of "Well, I didn't want it to happen, but I didn't try hard enough to stop it, so I guess it was my fault too." Ugh.