Monday B*tchfest | 10.16

eggplantface

Which can stretch to Tuesday and Wednesday, of course

GoogleMD

My friend is pissing me off because she insists on parenting my todddler when I am sitting right there. I do not need you to repremaind my 2 y.o when I am right, especially when he is not doing anything, he is acting like a toddler. 
I am also getting annoyed with my single childless co worker and her frequent parenting advice. She thinks her parenting ideas are just so mind blowingly amazing. This is coming from the woman that said she never wants to have kids and does not understand how a guy can be sexually attracted to a women after watching her give birth. ... is it Friday yet?

ahoneycutt12

@GoogleMD Oh man my step dad likes to try and "parent" or put his shitty 2 cents in about my child all the time.  Most of the time all that he ends up doing is pissing my 2 year old off and sending her into a tantrum.... like seriously... I am the parent how about I parent my child the way that is best for her and I. 

ldawngirl781

I know this is kind of a stupid b**** but it's annoying and I just need to vent. DH has repeatedly made comments about asking his brother to help us put the crib together. WTF do we need his help to put together a crib?! Last time I checked, BIL didn't help in the making of this baby. I told DH very nicely that I thought it would be best if he and I do this together, and he agreed, but I can tell he was upset. Like, why does your family have to be involved every step along the way? This should be a him and I thing first and foremost.

kbrinks2

My bitch fest is about my volleyball team. I coach a kids team at the school and spent all weekend making the playing schedule, food schedule and parents working schedule for our home tournament that is supposed to be this coming weekend. Today one of the kids comes up and says "did anyone tell you that there is a hockey camp this weekend". Umm no they didn't or I wouldn't have wasted my whole freaking weekend trying to plan this tournament. So we have now cancelled and all of the planning just gets thrown out the window! 

alwayssomethingnew

My ex is an a$$!  When we got divorced, he was out of work and I was just trying to get out of a really bad situation so I ended up agreeing to pay him child support.  It was based on the amount that compensated him as if he were the child care.  Obviously, he went out and got a job.  I should've gotten our agreement updated right then but was still really intimidated by him.  A couple years ago I lost my job.  Again I should've updated the agreement, but I was really depressed.  At the time, barely functioning.  He told me I didn't have to pay anything while I was out of work.  I was out of work for a year and a half.  So fast forward to now.  I have a job.  Finally.  It's good but it doesn't pay as well.  He just changed jobs and he works on commission.  So even though he gets a base salary, it's a tiny fraction of his normal salary.  So for the next few months, his pay is going to look terrible.  He is now wanting me to pay full child support and he's claiming I owe him for the time I was out of work.  I get it, I should've updated the terms of the divorce any number of times, but I didn't.  It was a huge effort for me to get out of that relationship.  But now, even though he's been making more than me even when we are both employed, I'm going to have to catch up so I'm in compliance and then take him back to court to make this fair.  I know that this puts me in with the deadbeat dad category.  I only want what's best for my kids and to have something that is fair.  If the courts said I have to pay something I would.  I've tried to stay on good terms with him for the sake of our kids.  But I know this will get ugly with him.  

ETA:  my kids are in middle school.  They don't need childcare during the school year.  They take the bus home from school and do their homework for an hour and a half max until I get home from work.

SunflowerMama428

@olitwinturbosnprincess I would invest in a really good lawyer or if the child support would equal the lawyer then id just pay it off. Dealing with a jerk ex husband myself I don’t let anything go without documentation. It took us 2 1/2 hostile years to get divorced. If you have emails or texts saying he didn’t want the payments while your were unemployed you could try and use that. 

babymakes9

@olitwinturbosnprincess i 2nd what @SunflowerMama428 says.  If you have documentation of any of these conversations get them together and lawyer up asap. Did you sign anything in writing? Do you have anything that says his initial support was set based on him being unemployed and providing daycare?  Another factor is who has primary placement or custody? Every states laws are different,  but if his child support was based on daycare expenses which are no longer needed,  maybe the support due was no longer necessary after that time? 
I dont think you need to wait until you are caught up to persue this in the courts. And if you arte intimidated by him i would definatly go the court route.

My ex is horrible,  every agreement with him is through the courts and / or documented in writing.  It's s the only way he doesn't stream roll over me and my rights. 

magnolia305

DH and I both have sinus pressure from either allergies or colds--who freaking knows at this point.  Last night, I was getting out his cold medicine (because why would a 32 year old man-child be able to get his own meds *eye roll*), and he starts complaining that the medicine tastes bad and whining about how long it will take to kick in.  I slow turned and wanted to throat punch him.  At least he can take freaking medicine!!! Idiot.  

amb929

@magnolia305 men are THE WORST when they're sick. I've been going through something similar with my DH lately. He has some weird reaction to cough medication where he acts like he's 'high' while on it...and he's never ever been high before so he asked the first time it happened if this is what it felt like to be stoned  The first time it happened it was a little funny...now when it happens...I just roll my eyes. Without the medication he whines. WITH the medication he whines and hallucinates. It's a no win. I agree with you though... at least he can take medicine!! He should be quiet and count his blessings there. I fully support throat punching him and then asking if he feels better or worse... "Do you want medicine NOW?!" 

chucksmom15

@olitwinturbosnprincess  I agree with what the PP said.  If you have anything in writing (Facebook, text, etc.)  don't pay him that money.  

ash0625

@olitwinturbosnprincess I practice in family law sometimes and the hardest thing for clients to learn is that they HAVE to change the court documents to reflect every change in circumstance. I hate that you're going through that now. See if you can get in touch with your local legal services office. They often get grants to take family law cases for an hourly rate determined by the income of the client, so they may be a more affordable option for you. 

eggplantface

magnolia305 said:

DH and I both have sinus pressure from either allergies or colds--who freaking knows at this point.  Last night, I was getting out his cold medicine (because why would a 32 year old man-child be able to get his own meds *eye roll*), and he starts complaining that the medicine tastes bad and whining about how long it will take to kick in.  I slow turned and wanted to throat punch him.  At least he can take freaking medicine!!! Idiot.  

My husband is the same way! The worst is when he clutches his chest, gets this pained look on his face, and is all "Oh baby, I got heartburn, do we have any pepcid?" I say yes. "Where?" Upstairs in the medicine cabinet. [While wincing in pain] "Can you go get it for me? It hurts!" SERIOUSLY? After being married three years I really don't understand where the phrase "Man up" came from, because stepping up to do what needs to be done is definitely a woman's thing!

chucksmom15

eggplantface said:

magnolia305 said:

DH and I both have sinus pressure from either allergies or colds--who freaking knows at this point.  Last night, I was getting out his cold medicine (because why would a 32 year old man-child be able to get his own meds *eye roll*), and he starts complaining that the medicine tastes bad and whining about how long it will take to kick in.  I slow turned and wanted to throat punch him.  At least he can take freaking medicine!!! Idiot.  

My husband is the same way! The worst is when he clutches his chest, gets this pained look on his face, and is all "Oh baby, I got heartburn, do we have any pepcid?" I say yes. "Where?" Upstairs in the medicine cabinet. [While wincing in pain] "Can you go get it for me? It hurts!" SERIOUSLY? After being married three years I really don't understand where the phrase "Man up" came from, because stepping up to do what needs to be done is definitely a woman's thing!

There is now a bottle of Tums on DH's nightstand for this reason.  His usually hits after he lays down.

ldawngirl781

Why are men such babies when they're sick? I mean, DH has the sniffles and he's down for the count. It really gets me sometimes. Especially when he takes the night off work and because he does shift work, if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid. 

SunflowerMama428

ldawngirl781 said:

Why are men such babies when they're sick? I mean, DH has the sniffles and he's down for the count. It really gets me sometimes. Especially when he takes the night off work and because he does shift work, if he doesn't work, he doesn't get paid. 

I was really sick in first tri with a head cold plus the first tri symptoms and felt like death. DH made me go to work. Wouldn’t absolutely not let me stay home even though I’m salary. He caught the same cold and stayed home for 2 days and lost those hours of pay. I wanted to kill him. He doesn’t dare complain about being sick anymore after dealing with my wrath. Men are big babies. 

rainafire77

My husband at least admits he's a baby when he's sick. He keeps going on about how serious "man cold" is and how I'm lucky I'm immune from "man cold". I told him he's going to have to suck it up because the baby's not going to care if you have the sniffles.

clc515

Bitchest rant: My insurance is a PITA. Sure, let's deny my coverage for something at the pharmacy because you want me to go through mail order pharmacy. No problem, except insurance does not inform patient or doctor a specific product should be mail order, they just deny it at the pharmacy. And then insurance tells me it's a 7 to 10 business day shipping AFTER they receive rx from doc, even though the trial supply only last 4 days, and they do not overnight anything ever. So I have to go BACK to the pharmacy to get a 10 day supply prescription, which isn't the end of the world but an inconvenience.

So tell me why insurance didn't process my rx until 7 days AFTER they received it (I confirmed w/ doctor when they sent it). Sooooo now I have to call insurance AGAIN to authorize a pharmacy override because the mail order won't arrive for another 7-10 days, though I only have a couple days of supplies left. So I call them, and THEY HUNG UP ON ME while I was on hold. UGH.  (BTW insurance can authorize purchases at the pharmacy, but for $100/month more than mail order, and I don't want to waste $100.) 

I cannot wait to switch insurance during open enrollment...... rant over. 

alwayssomethingnew

Thanks everyone for the advice.  I am definitely getting a lawyer.  I have tried to protect my kids from any ugliness, but I know that can't last forever.  I knew my dad was a man-child without anyone telling me so I know my kids are already figuring out their dad with or without me protecting them.  

TattoosandLace

I had my OB appointment yesterday. I planned a Walmart trip with a friend (I needed a new vacuum and diapers for DD2). We took the girls to chick-til-a for lunch and DD1 was on the worst behavior ive ever seen. I was flat exhausted by the time I got to the OB appointment. Myself doctor was amazing with DD1 and how horrible she was acting. DD2 was melting down because it was so close to nap time. Thank God my OB had four kids of her own and gets it. 

All I wanted to do was get home to vacuum. I put it all together and it was freaking broken out of the box. Walmart is 1h15m from my house (one way). I didn’t have any other time to go this week and NEEDED to vacuum so I loaded the girls back up and went back to Walmart at like 5:30pm. DH was teaching a night class until 9:30 last night so solo in Walmart (huge fear of mine). 

BUT my new vacuum works and is amazing. 

babymakes9

Dh refused to drive 23 miles round trip to get me some taco bell this afternoon during chore time (like when he is feeding livestock).  And he keeps walking on our newly painted dining room floor that is not technically dry yet... 

alwayssomethingnew

@mamaof5already He could've gotten Taco Bell for the cows.  (Not with beef of course.)  Two birds, one stone...  Its more than reasonable.

3plus1equals4

olitwinturbosnprincess said:

@mamaof5already He could've gotten Taco Bell for the cows.  (Not with beef of course.)  Two birds, one stone...  Its more than reasonable.

Hahahaha! Just sent DH on a Taco Bell run, but had to explain why I was laughing first

Ashoes123

@TattoosandLace that sounds like an exhausting day! Sounds like Amazon Prime could be your best friend. 

Im pissed that I found a deer tick on DD tonight and Lyme disease is rampant in my area. We're sending the tick out to get tested, fingers crossed. 

lainikins

Ashoes123 said:

@TattoosandLace that sounds like an exhausting day! Sounds like Amazon Prime could be your best friend. 

Im pissed that I found a deer tick on DD tonight and Lyme disease is rampant in my area. We're sending the tick out to get tested, fingers crossed. 

My son had Lyme right when he turned 3. It was awful. We never saw the tick and he never got the traditional bulls eye rash. We were several weeks in before we figured out it was Lyme. The tick has to be attached for 24 hours to transmit. Hopefully you got it before that. Good luck! 

babybro218

Ugh! Good luck @Ashoes123 That is so scary! 

babymakes9

@ashoes123

Im pissed that I found a deer tick on DD tonight and Lyme disease is rampant in my area. We're sending the tick out to get tested, fingers crossed. 

If the tick wasn't swollen, he should be fine,  or means it wasn't attached long enough to transmit. 

amb929

@TattoosandLace I'll second the Amazon Prime recommendation. My husband is pretty concerned with saving/not wasting time so we got a BJs Wholesale membership when DS was born. He figured out after crunching some numbers that based on what we go through per month, it makes more sense to subscribe to those items on Amazon. We get a monthly delivery of diapers, wipes, toilet paper, paper towels, etc. You can even subscribe to things like Breathe Right strips and Amazon anticipates when you're going to run out and sends you more. It's pretty convenient and allows us to avoid unpredictable toddler meltdowns in public most of the time.

Along the same lines...has anyone tried GrubHub? It's a food delivery service, I've never tried it myself and I'm not sure if they do Mexican or Taco Bell but it's probably good for some of the cravings when husband's don't/won't go get all the things! 

@Ashoes123 Lyme disease all runs rampant where I am. You must be in the New England area I'm assuming? Our news reported the other day that Rhode Island has one of the highest rates of Lyme in the country. I've never had a tick so I can't speak to your experience but I hope the test results are negative and your LO is fine! 

jennifer_m21

@amb929 I use GrubHub! Lots of options, and I'm a huge fan of Mexican delivery. It's either GrubHub or Uber Eats for me.

eggplantface

@amb929 I love me some Amazon Prime! At some point I needed to do the math to figure out if CostCo or Amazon were the better option for diapers, wipes, etc., so thanks for letting us know!

amb929

@eggplantface it took my husband about a month of data to come up with the numbers but we cancelled our BJ's membership as soon as he figured out it was about 30-40 dollars cheaper each month to just buy everything from Amazon. We don't have a CostCo around here but I would imagine the savings are probably similar. Glad I could be of help! 

alwayssomethingnew

@amb929 I use Grubhub all the time.  Love it!  I haven't gotten Taco Bell and haven't looked.  But there are some local Mexican places near me.  We get a huge selection with American, Chinese, Thai, Indian, Mediterranean...  there's one place that is only dessert.

caitb13

 @amb929we  use Grubhub and other takeout services frequently.  Where they delivery from is based on what is near you, so they may delivery Taco Bell! The only downside is that the delivery fee can be expensive. We frequently get a meal stipend on the weekends through my husband's work, and we often spend more than we're allotted because of the fee

Ashoes123

The tick wasn't yet swollen so I think we are in the clear!

I miss my local Costco near my old house. We have BJs now and I can say diapers are cheaper at BJs than Amazon IF you use their coupon flyer. Not sure if It's the same at Costco.  At BJs I know you can any Pampers coupons, even if they are for wipes on diapers which makes a big difference. 

babybro218

@amb929 I use GrubHub and other similar services to help satisfy those cravings. Sometimes it can take awhile, but always worth it.

SarahFoley725

I am super frustrated with our house buying situations. Long story short, we had a contract on a little fixer upper in a a nice neighborhood when we put our home on the market. We ended up having to back out after an awful inspection report. Our house however sold in 3 days. So while we were looking for a new one Harvey came through. It flooded lots of areas we were looking in (which is good I guess) and that also caused lots of houses to get snatched up. There just isn't much out there at this point in time. Last week a new one came on the market and we really liked it. It had been completely redone but was priced really low so that made me nervous. The guy who flipped it has NO documentation of any of the work he had done including foundation work so that's shady and puts us back at square one. I'm starting to think we will be bringing the baby home to my parents and that sucks a lot. 

ash0625

@SarahFoley725 that IS stressful. I remember when we were house shopping it was a nightmare. I have my fingers crossed you'll find the perfect house ASAP. 

My complaint probably belongs in the annoying things people say thread, but I'm already typing in this box. I HATE the "just wait..." crap lately. I was talking about tough love with our two puppies who are getting a little spoiled and I heard "Just wait until the baby is here. You're going to spoil him." or I was at dinner and I was saying I was so busy at work I hardly had time to think straight and I hear "just wait until baby is here, you don't even know what busy is." DO PEOPLE NOT HEAR HOW CONDESCENDING THAT IS? 

ETA: You know mansplaining? I'm going to call the above situations "Momsplaining" and its JUST AS ANNOYING. 

winnie1122

@ash0625 So annoying, and unfortunately doesn’t stop once the baby gets here. There’s always something you get told to ‘just wait’ for. I almost felt like I had to apologize that I had such an easy baby the first time and I actually wasn’t experiencing all the things I was told to just wait for...so there’s that. Basically no baby is the same and no mom is the so assuming someone will have the same experience is pretty silly IMO, better to just ask how someone is doing and be encouraging than tell them all the things that might possibly be hard for them later.

sabriel1

The "just you wait"s are so annoying. Even now my oldest is 5 and I still have to hear "just wait until your kids are teenagers". Does it ever end?

pandappanderson

I agree with the ‘just you waits’ or ‘enjoy while you cans’ etc. 

Just because I’ll be more tired later, it doesn’t diminish how tired I’m feeling RIGHT NOW. 

Also when people only ever tell you bad things about childbirth/parenthood. It’s like just because they are having a bad time they are wishing it upon you. 

chucksmom15

Sorry about the house search @SarahFoley725!  Hope you get something under contract soon!

I am also tired of the just waits and that's just nature preparing you for baby.  Screw you I want to sleep!!  Plus when people ask if he's kicking and I say yep he's an active little guy I get "oh if he's that active now that means he won't sleep once he's here".  Throat punch to you all!!