Is anyone else planning to formula feed right off the bat? Or have you done so in the past? One of the other BMBs has a formula feeding thread that I found very informative and I was wondering if something like that might be beneficial to anyone else here. I'm particularly concerned about not feeling supported in this decision post-partum at the hospital.
(I would start a thread myself but this is my first pregnancy so I don't have advice to offer. But if others are interested in the topic I can get something going.)
My first BMB has a formula feeding support thread and a breastfeeding support thread. I think it would be great to have one of each, I have done both and would definitely contribute! Feeding a baby can be surprisingly challenging, regardless the route. Support is amazing those first few weeks especially.
@ShawnnaO@muggle621@chasingroygbiv@LiveNLove44 thank you all!! My dr checked me out and it's definitely Braxton hicks. She checked my cervix to make sure and it is not causing my cervix to open thankfully! They seem to have subsided a bit this morning, too. She also checked for a uti or bladder infection in case that's what's causing them.
So. I have a cold and called the doctor yesterday to see what I can take at almost 18 weeks. Today I woke up with a cough that I feel in my chest and I haven’t been able to keep anything down. Also, my face seems to be swelling some to. Am I just being overly paranoid or should I call the doctor again?
@tabbicat11 I'm sure everything is totally fine and a bad cold just makes everything terrible (and can feel worse than categorically worse illnesses!), but if you feel anxiety over it, call your doctor. Feeling calmer with a phone call is worth it. I hope you feel better soon!
Is anyone else planning to formula feed right off the bat? Or have you done so in the past? One of the other BMBs has a formula feeding thread that I found very informative and I was wondering if something like that might be beneficial to anyone else here. I'm particularly concerned about not feeling supported in this decision post-partum at the hospital.
(I would start a thread myself but this is my first pregnancy so I don't have advice to offer. But if others are interested in the topic I can get something going.)
I haven't decided yet. At the very least I think I will supplement right off the bat this time. How to feed your baby is such a deeply personal decision, and you're right to be concerned about not being supported at the hospital. You just never know what kind of comments you will get. It may be fine or it may not be, unfortunately. My best advice would be, if you go in knowing you will be FFing, make it known and make it known that BFing commentary is not welcome. But come here no matter what. I will support you, and I know others will too.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
Question: why do people suck so much? A lady at work just found out I'm pregnant and after asking all the standard questions got into this: Her: Don't you live here with no family around? Me: Yes, both my family and my husband's are about an 8 hour drive in opposite directions from here. Her: Well that is going to be so hard for you. Me: We'll make it work. Her: But that is just so sad. You're going to have to find babysitters and everything! My niece is 3 and has only had a babysitter once in her life because we're all around and always want to help out! That is just going to be so hard for you.
Thanks, I'm aware it's going to suck being so far from family. Plenty of people have had children with no help from families though, soooo we'll survive. I'm probably overreacting, but I'm in a mood today.
ETA: this probably should've gone in randoms. Sorry!
Question: why do people suck so much? A lady at work just found out I'm pregnant and after asking all the standard questions got into this: Her: Don't you live here with no family around? Me: Yes, both my family and my husband's are about an 8 hour drive in opposite directions from here. Her: Well that is going to be so hard for you. Me: We'll make it work. Her: But that is just so sad. You're going to have to find babysitters and everything! My niece is 3 and has only had a babysitter once in her life because we're all around and always want to help out! That is just going to be so hard for you.
Thanks, I'm aware it's going to suck being so far from family. Plenty of people have had children with no help from families though, soooo we'll survive. I'm probably overreacting, but I'm in a mood today.
ETA: this probably should've gone in randoms. Sorry!
Stuff it, lady. I don't think you're overreacting.
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
So. I have a cold and called the doctor yesterday to see what I can take at almost 18 weeks. Today I woke up with a cough that I feel in my chest and I haven’t been able to keep anything down. Also, my face seems to be swelling some to. Am I just being overly paranoid or should I call the doctor again?
I think new symptoms definitely warrant a second call to your doctor. Especially with vomiting added in (unless that's been going on already and is just worse from the coughing.)
Also FYI, my dr's list of safe cold medicines was name-brand and I had a hard time finding the right stuff. If you do go get some cold meds, I recommend double checking with the pharmacist that you have the right thing.
Question: why do people suck so much? A lady at work just found out I'm pregnant and after asking all the standard questions got into this: Her: Don't you live here with no family around? Me: Yes, both my family and my husband's are about an 8 hour drive in opposite directions from here. Her: Well that is going to be so hard for you. Me: We'll make it work. Her: But that is just so sad. You're going to have to find babysitters and everything! My niece is 3 and has only had a babysitter once in her life because we're all around and always want to help out! That is just going to be so hard for you.
Thanks, I'm aware it's going to suck being so far from family. Plenty of people have had children with no help from families though, soooo we'll survive. I'm probably overreacting, but I'm in a mood today.
ETA: this probably should've gone in randoms. Sorry!
Oh HELL no. Nope. No. I would’ve been pissed. My husband and I have NO ONE HERE. The closest family member is 16 hours away. Until quite recently, Neither of us even had any friends here that I would trust with my children. You’ll make it. Not only will you make it, you will EXCELL at it, because you have to and your mom instinct is going to kick in and before you know it your little human is going to be a year old and you’ll be like “wow, I’m pretty damn good at this.” Maybe we’re both overreacting, but I want you to know I fully support the overreacting.
As an example, my husband is gone ALOT because of his job. He works 13 hour days to begin with, five days a week. Sprinkle in 24 hour shifts and the times where he’s gone for weeks at a time, if not months. When my husband is home, I depend on him for my sanity. I count down the minutes before he walks in the door and I can BREATHE. But when he’s gone and I know he’s not coming home, it’s like a switch flips in me and solo paralenting is second nature.
Youre right, you’ll survive. You and your husband will do great and people who doubt that for a second are annoying.
Thanks, @bettyvonsomethingstein and @ShawnnaO! It's annoying because this isn't someone who I have a relationship with--this is MAYBE my third conversation with her (how she knows my family isn't around here is beyond me). It also didn't seem like she was coming from a genuine place of concern but more of a judgmental "how dare you leave your baby with strangers" sort of thing. We actually specifically moved here to be CLOSER to my family (I was 16 hours away from mine too until we moved here) before having kids, and it's a happy medium between mine and my husband's family. Not that it's any of her business. I appreciate the support though, and I know we'll make it work though I'm sure it'll be a steep learning curve!
@stlbuckeye132 I also have no one nearby. DH's fam is in across an ocean and my family is 8 hours away. And my mom doesn't fly. I think I would have asked her what's she's suggesting? I have little patience lately though. It def seems more like she was rubbing it in that her family is better, but really, what are we supposed to do? I'd love to be closer to my peeps but DH got a tenure track position HERE. ShawnnaO is right. We'll make it work. Our kids will learn to meet and trust and be good to diverse people, not just family. And they'll be just as happy and healthy and so will we.
@stlbuckeye132 I’m furious for you. I live on the other side of the country from my family and MH’s. And like @ShawnnaO my husband is gone a lot for work and training, has an unpredictable schedule and works 24 hours sometimes. You’ll be fine. You’ll make it work. We didn’t leave DS with a babysitter until he was 18 months. It was fine. We make date nights happen when we visit family. And on the weekends, we plan things and take the kid along. I, too, countdown until the minute he walks through the door, but having my mom close by wouldn’t change that. While she would give me a break sometimes, she isn’t free childcare and I don’t want her to be—it’s kind of a touchy subject for MH and I because his sister uses his mom for childcare for 40+ hours a week and on the weekends on top of her 40+ hours a week working as a PT. There’s nothing better about my kid because I choose to stay at home with him, or anything better or worse about my friend’s kid who goes to daycare, or anyone’s child who is fortunate enough to be watched by family. They are all just different things. Not better or worse. She sounds like a twatwaffle who is only happy when raining on others’ parades.
@stlbuckeye132 I was in Target the other night in the checkout line and the lady behind me with two cute little kids asked if I had kids. I was a little taken aback for a second as to why she was asking and said no. Then I remembered the two purple velvet children's dresses I had on the belt. As well as the Minions goggles. And added, "just nieces". But then she that she was asking because some random dude had basically just shamed her for being a working mom and putting her kids in daycare and gave her the whole "leaving them with strangers to raise them" song and dance and was wondering if I thought that was weird. I told her heck yes. Weird, out of place, rude, uninformed. I wish I had said more. I think the bottom line was that she was a little shaken up by the whole encounter and needed a friend. I wish you had asked your coworker if she would watch your kid.
And frankly, just because I live close and am family doesn't mean I'm going to be someone's babysitter all the time. It would be one thing if I knew people would reciprocate but BIL has angled for me to leave work early to babysit so he could golf. Or has wanted us to babysit so he could get OT. Uhh, so you're telling me that you're going to make a boatload of money on this but that I should give you my time for free? Mmmm-hmm. Your time has value but mine doesn't? Yeah, no. I'm glad to help out but I'm also not a doormat. And I would feel really weird using my family all the time unless there was some fair trade off or I absolutely couldn't do it without (and even at that, I'd be keeping track of IOUs).
eta: there are statistical pros/cons either way but for the working moms set, my planned line is, "Children who come from homes with working moms statistically have a more equitable division of labor in their own homes as adults." Then...
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@kiki75 your response made me laugh, so thank you! I thought about the whole, "are YOU offering to babysit for us then since you enjoy watching your niece so much?!" response... AFTER she'd left. Because I always think of what to say after the fact! I don't understand why everyone feels the need to force their opinions on everyone else when it comes to parenting. I'm not looking forward to hearing more of these types of comments as this pregnancy goes on, and then I imagine it gets worse with all the mom-shaming after they're born. Ladies, we all need to stick together!!
Is it too early to talk about post-baby birth control? (I've seen threads about this on other BMBs, so we could start one if there is more interest than the question thread can handle.)
DH will be getting a vasectomy and I'm waffling between getting it done before the baby gets here or maybe waiting a year or so after. Anybody else having their H get the snip after this baby? When are you thinking of having it done?
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@becausescience our plan right now is that I’m going to get a two year IUD and if at the end of that two years we’re still sure that we don’t want more, then my husband will have a vasectomy.
*TW* @becausescience this is absolute worst case scenario - but one needs to think of all outcomes with permanent birth control. We had talked about DH getting snipped before our daughter was born because we were adamant that we only wanted two. Well he ended up switching jobs almost right before she was born so we pushed it back. So so so thankful we did since we lost her. So as unlikely as it is, anything is possible.
That being said, I’ve told my OB if I have a CS with the twins I want my tubes done while I’m open.
I have never been on BC because we wanted at least two close in age. This one was a whoops, but it worked out great timing-wise. So I’m going on some form of birth control post baby and using condoms, because we have proof they can’t be trusted alone lol. I don’t know which route I want to take. I’m kind of a pansy and don’t like the though if iud’s, so I’ll probably do the mini pill PP until I’m done breastfeeding (if I do), then the combo pill long term. Or the patch. I don’t know yet. We’re giving it a couple years to decide if we want another, if we don’t by the time this one is in preschool DH is getting snipped.
@becausescience, I am still convincing DH that he will be getting a vasectomy. He seems to be convinced that I should get my tubes tied instead. Hmmm no.
But we will be waiting a bit. We are 99% sure we are done after 2, but I want to sit on this when I'm not super hormonal (from pregnancy and post partum). We will use condoms for probably a year and then make our final decision/plan for the vasectomy then.
@becausescience My body doesn't react well to anything hormonal in terms of birth control, and TBH, I spent enough time on something that I'm considering not doing anything other than condoms. I am pretty in tune with my cycles, so I also feel good about knowing those pieces of the puzzle (plus I only have like 4-5 a year). DH is totally game to have a vasectomy, but I think we'll wait until I'm 35 and we know for sure that we are done at three. (DH only wanted 2 originally, so I think 4 would be pushing it, but who knows )
For us, we'll probably start trying again around six months after this baby is born (provided BFing is going well, if it works out that I stop early, I'll try then). I'm not young and it took about a year and a half to get a sticky baby. If that pregnancy was twins, we're done. If it's one, the current discussion is to NTNP after that. Once we feel done, I'll probably go for an IUD. The only question is hormonal or non hormonal. We did condoms for years after I gave up on the BCP after trying to find a better fit (Lo lo estrin -sp- had me bleeding/spotting 3 weeks/mo).
As for vasectomies, while I would absolutely feel like guys can and should take a turn shouldering the burden of birth control, I would recommend that YHs talk to some of their friends about it. BIL and H's friend both had them and report that sex just isn't the same and is less pleasurable (specifically ejaculation). If it comes down to it and the other options are harder on you than his reduced pleasure in one small portion of his life, by all means. Tubal ligation is surgery, my sister was in so much misery weeks after getting an IUD (before having a baby, though) that she got it removed, and plenty of people feel all around better when they're not on hormonal BC. There isn't a perfect solution. So it's just something to be aware of as you decide.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I won't be going on any birth control after this one is born, same as the last time. I don't like how it makes me feel and with having ICP, it is said different kinds of birth control can trigger those symptoms again. We want to have at least one more baby and are ok with our kids all being close in age. I also feel like I am pretty in touch with my cycle and can abstain or use condoms during my fertile window if need be. Probably a UO but thats our plan for now!
Ok, so no idea if anyone could have an answer for this, and I'm going in in the morning so hopefully I can ask then. But on Friday at my anatomy scan and 18 week checkup appointment, after we did the ultrasound and the midwife said everything looked great, she said she wanted me to come in to do a blood test for spina bifida on Monday (the courier had already come by for the day). I'd already talked with another midwife about the test and she said she didn't think it was necessary/we would see any issues on the A/S, so we could skip it. For some reason I just didn't ask her why she wanted me to come in (I think I was thrown off because I've seen the same midwife for my last 2 appts and this was DH's first appt with me, + emotions of an A/S). I assume they didn't see anything on the ultrasound but can't help but wonder/worry if they did and this is the subtle way of checking?? The more I type the crazier I feel like I sound so I'll stop now. Any advice is appreciated! TIA!
@ksmwalters I doubt they would try to “secretly” get the test if they told you everything looked fine. I had something similar happen at my NT scan — I had told my midwife I was ambivalent about the blood tests (and their cost! ha.) and was loosely planning to skip if everything “looked ok.” but the doctor who read my US saw it as a package deal period and casually sent me over to phlebotomy for the lab work (I was too high on baby pics to think about resisting). It’s probably just a routine for that particular midwife.
@ksmwalters, I was going to say something similar to @orbmaker. It may just be that this particular midwife sends everyone for the test as a standard method of practice. But I would still ask for some reassurance. Good luck!
Ok, so no idea if anyone could have an answer for this, and I'm going in in the morning so hopefully I can ask then. But on Friday at my anatomy scan and 18 week checkup appointment, after we did the ultrasound and the midwife said everything looked great, she said she wanted me to come in to do a blood test for spina bifida on Monday (the courier had already come by for the day). I'd already talked with another midwife about the test and she said she didn't think it was necessary/we would see any issues on the A/S, so we could skip it. For some reason I just didn't ask her why she wanted me to come in (I think I was thrown off because I've seen the same midwife for my last 2 appts and this was DH's first appt with me, + emotions of an A/S). I assume they didn't see anything on the ultrasound but can't help but wonder/worry if they did and this is the subtle way of checking?? The more I type the crazier I feel like I sound so I'll stop now. Any advice is appreciated! TIA!
My understanding is the standard noninvasive prenatal testing is three parts: the DNA test (like Harmony or Materni21), ultrasound, plus spina bifida blood test. I just had mine done last week
***March '18 October Siggy Challenge: Halloween Costume Fails***
Do you guys honestly remember to do kegel exercises throughout the day?
Only when I sneeze! I have never really done them and this will be number 4. Though I have had 3 c-sections so that might contribute to my ability to not need them as badly.
I'm also on the hunt for good shoes. I just ordered these Lucky shoes, so verdict pending. I am in sales and have two trade shows coming up. I really don't want to wear sneakers, which seems to be the go-to for all of the pregnancy blogs. I do have a pair of Dansko clogs. I love them but can only wear them with certain outfits since they are kinda goofy looking. They blend in with black tights fine, but paired with ankle pants - and call me hansel.
Any recommendations on good pregnancy shoes for work are welcome #nomoreheels
@orbmaker@bettyvonsomethingstein@justkeeptrying Thank y’all! She basically said what y’all said - that it’s part of the complete genetic screening tests and that sometimes SB is hard to see or missed on a ultrasound. Plus that it can apparently predict placenta insufficiency later. So I feel better both about her wanting me to have it done and deciding to go ahead with the testing.
@crossfitbabybump @orbmaker sarabeth5678 I agree that the Dansko clogs are kinda goofy looking, but they totally got me through plantar fascistic. But also keep in mind, if you are going from flats to Danskos that's like going from 0 to 11 in terms of arch support and they may not seem comfy.
I liked keen, but they are more casual. Springs Step, Aerosoles, and Clarkes come to mind. You might want to go to Zappos and select the "comfort" category to see more of what's out there.
Edit, also I saw these this weekend at Motherhood, but haven't tried them:
Is it too early to talk about post-baby birth control? (I've seen threads about this on other BMBs, so we could start one if there is more interest than the question thread can handle.)
DH will be getting a vasectomy and I'm waffling between getting it done before the baby gets here or maybe waiting a year or so after. Anybody else having their H get the snip after this baby? When are you thinking of having it done?
@becausescience Sorry about being late to the game on this one but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in trying to figure this out. We are 110% sure we are one and done plus we are closer to 40 than 30 so my H is getting a vasectomy about 6 months to a year after baby is born (depending on finances). I will probably get back on BC in the interim but I am not very good at taking it on time.
@fatstagnation thanks for the shoe recs! I also want to check out those insoles at Motherhood. I am having the worst arch pain though yesterday I realized part of the issue is that my left foot is a bit bigger than my right (and is not swollen).
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Re: Questions - Week of 10/16
Her: Don't you live here with no family around?
Me: Yes, both my family and my husband's are about an 8 hour drive in opposite directions from here.
Her: Well that is going to be so hard for you.
Me: We'll make it work.
Her: But that is just so sad. You're going to have to find babysitters and everything! My niece is 3 and has only had a babysitter once in her life because we're all around and always want to help out! That is just going to be so hard for you.
Thanks, I'm aware it's going to suck being so far from family. Plenty of people have had children with no help from families though, soooo we'll survive. I'm probably overreacting, but I'm in a mood today.
ETA: this probably should've gone in randoms. Sorry!
Also FYI, my dr's list of safe cold medicines was name-brand and I had a hard time finding the right stuff. If you do go get some cold meds, I recommend double checking with the pharmacist that you have the right thing.
As an example, my husband is gone ALOT because of his job. He works 13 hour days to begin with, five days a week. Sprinkle in 24 hour shifts and the times where he’s gone for weeks at a time, if not months. When my husband is home, I depend on him for my sanity. I count down the minutes before he walks in the door and I can BREATHE. But when he’s gone and I know he’s not coming home, it’s like a switch flips in me and solo paralenting is second nature.
Youre right, you’ll survive. You and your husband will do great and people who doubt that for a second are annoying.
ShawnnaO is right. We'll make it work. Our kids will learn to meet and trust and be good to diverse people, not just family. And they'll be just as happy and healthy and so will we.
And frankly, just because I live close and am family doesn't mean I'm going to be someone's babysitter all the time. It would be one thing if I knew people would reciprocate but BIL has angled for me to leave work early to babysit so he could golf. Or has wanted us to babysit so he could get OT. Uhh, so you're telling me that you're going to make a boatload of money on this but that I should give you my time for free? Mmmm-hmm. Your time has value but mine doesn't? Yeah, no. I'm glad to help out but I'm also not a doormat. And I would feel really weird using my family all the time unless there was some fair trade off or I absolutely couldn't do it without (and even at that, I'd be keeping track of IOUs).
eta: there are statistical pros/cons either way but for the working moms set, my planned line is, "Children who come from homes with working moms statistically have a more equitable division of labor in their own homes as adults." Then...
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
DH will be getting a vasectomy and I'm waffling between getting it done before the baby gets here or maybe waiting a year or so after. Anybody else having their H get the snip after this baby? When are you thinking of having it done?
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
@becausescience this is absolute worst case scenario - but one needs to think of all outcomes with permanent birth control. We had talked about DH getting snipped before our daughter was born because we were adamant that we only wanted two. Well he ended up switching jobs almost right before she was born so we pushed it back. So so so thankful we did since we lost her. So as unlikely as it is, anything is possible.
That being said, I’ve told my OB if I have a CS with the twins I want my tubes done while I’m open.
I don’t know which route I want to take. I’m kind of a pansy and don’t like the though if iud’s, so I’ll probably do the mini pill PP until I’m done breastfeeding (if I do), then the combo pill long term. Or the patch. I don’t know yet. We’re giving it a couple years to decide if we want another, if we don’t by the time this one is in preschool DH is getting snipped.
But we will be waiting a bit. We are 99% sure we are done after 2, but I want to sit on this when I'm not super hormonal (from pregnancy and post partum). We will use condoms for probably a year and then make our final decision/plan for the vasectomy then.
As for vasectomies, while I would absolutely feel like guys can and should take a turn shouldering the burden of birth control, I would recommend that YHs talk to some of their friends about it. BIL and H's friend both had them and report that sex just isn't the same and is less pleasurable (specifically ejaculation). If it comes down to it and the other options are harder on you than his reduced pleasure in one small portion of his life, by all means. Tubal ligation is surgery, my sister was in so much misery weeks after getting an IUD (before having a baby, though) that she got it removed, and plenty of people feel all around better when they're not on hormonal BC. There isn't a perfect solution. So it's just something to be aware of as you decide.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I have never really done them and this will be number 4.
Though I have had 3 c-sections so that might contribute to my ability to not need them as badly.
@orbmaker
I'm also on the hunt for good shoes. I just ordered these Lucky shoes, so verdict pending. I am in sales and have two trade shows coming up. I really don't want to wear sneakers, which seems to be the go-to for all of the pregnancy blogs. I do have a pair of Dansko clogs. I love them but can only wear them with certain outfits since they are kinda goofy looking. They blend in with black tights fine, but paired with ankle pants - and call me hansel.
Any recommendations on good pregnancy shoes for work are welcome #nomoreheels
@orbmaker
sarabeth5678
I agree that the Dansko clogs are kinda goofy looking, but they totally got me through plantar fascistic. But also keep in mind, if you are going from flats to Danskos that's like going from 0 to 11 in terms of arch support and they may not seem comfy.
I liked keen, but they are more casual. Springs Step, Aerosoles, and Clarkes come to mind. You might want to go to Zappos and select the "comfort" category to see more of what's out there.
Edit, also I saw these this weekend at Motherhood, but haven't tried them:
@fatstagnation thanks for the shoe recs! I also want to check out those insoles at Motherhood. I am having the worst arch pain though yesterday I realized part of the issue is that my left foot is a bit bigger than my right (and is not swollen).
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18