Monday B*tchfest 10/16

sunshineandwhiskey

Lets hear em!

rnielsen321

I am in my last week of work, at a job I have been trying to get out of for the last 3 plus years. So, my Monday complaint is... Can it be Thursday already? I have CHECKED OUT! And to try and actually care about this place, and be a grumpasaurus rex, for the next 4 days just seem EXHAUSTING!. 

Can I just start my new job already? 

krash_

@rnielsen321 Congrats on the new job and GL! Is  your new job similar to what you do now?

My Monday BF is that I feel like I can't drink anything except for water! I have been having half-caf or decaf coffee, but I don't want to have soda. Juice is too sugary. I want tea but they don't recommend having herbal tea every day. And for the first time last night I really wanted a drink! I know it is worth it and it's not about me but I need some more acceptable beverage suggestions. 

bkrahn

So some of you might remember me talking about this on another thread. Basically *TW* our SIL lost a baby early this year at 15 weeks. We were SO heartbroken for her. Two days later, we found out we were expecting (which was a huge surprise because we were under the impression that we couldn't even GET pregnant naturally) Anyways this obviously made things really umcomfortable between us and BIL/SIL. We waited a few weeks to tell them in order to respect their grieving. We tried to be as compassionate as possible. They became angry and accused us of "just becoming pregnant because we are jealous of everything they have.." and "making up our infertility for the past 4 years because obviously we could become pregnant naturally the ENTIRE time." Basically, they just took their feelings out on us and said a lot of really hurtful things. Then we lost our baby, too. And then another one 3 months later. And they showed NO sympathy. I shared our losses on social media, because a lot of people support us and follow our infertility journey, and they thought i was just seeking attention by doing that. *TW* I am just so tired of being belittled by two people who are supposed to be family. They just are so toxic and if you try to approach them with any feelings you might have about them, they twist things around to make you the bad guy. Part of me just wants to cut them off entirely, but again, they're family & DH's only brother. We had dinner with them last night and they ignored us completely, but then when we got home they texted me asking how our insemination went a few weeks ago (we were hoping to wait until our first ultrasound to officially tell them we were pregnant, just in case) and I was caught in a corner, so I told them it went well. Do you think they congratulated us? NOPE. Just made us feel dumb because obviously everyone knew I was pregnant because I chose to share on social media that we were having this procedure done. Even though statistically there's only a 15% chance of that procedure actually working and impregnating us. *face palm* sorry, end rant. It's been a long weekend. 

LaceyBee522

@rnielsen321 Congrats on getting out of there! I know how hard that can be! Sending you good vibes to get through your last few days!

@krashke I know what you mean. I've started adding a splash of fruit juice to my sparkling water just to spice things up. Lol!

@bkrahn I'm so sorry! Having to deal with this kind of toxicity with anyone is bad, but even worse when it is family. Maybe taking a step back for a little while would help the situation. 

My Monday BF is that I just can't focus in the office today. I have so much to do, but I just want to hang out here and read and chat with people. Procrastination station!!!

sunshineandwhiskey

@bkrahn Ugh.  I am so sorry.  That is so unfair to you and your DH.  I hope things settle down soon for you, and you all are able to reach a common ground. 

PatientlyWaiting10

@bkrahn I'm so sorry you have to deal with that....it sounds so complicated and hard!!  I don't have advice, just wanted to say I'm sorry. 

PatientlyWaiting10

@rnielsen321 Do you have vacation time left?  Is it absolutely necessary you work your last few days?  Those days are so awful, especially if it's a place that you are not happy at.  FX the week goes super fast for you!!

oneblessedmess

@bkrahn I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. It really sucks when family is unsupportive. I understand that they may still be hurting from their loss but that doesn't make it ok. I am all for distancing yourselves from people who don't bring anything positive to your lives. Hopefully the rest of your family is a great source of support and compassion!

ffw0617

@rnielsen321 Congrats on the new job.

@krashke why is juice too sugary? Just make your own juice.

@bkrahn I'm sorry, I remember your situation from the other post. I agree take a step back. You don't need added stress or@bkrahn

As for me I'm really ready for DH to shape up. I'm trying not to be too disappointed because this was homecoming week so he just wanted to enjoy time with friends but I was really nervous yesterday about the doctors appointment today and he still came in late last night. When we decided to ttc he assured me he was cutting back on the staying out late. But its been 2 weeks since the BFP and no changes. Also we lost a car in hurricane Harvey (DH has a work van) but we are down to one car now so when he goes out I really feel stranded at home. We decided not to get a new car right away since we'll need a bigger car/suv (obvi to accommodate baby). The car we lost was paid for so we'd like the next car/suv to be paid for as well so he's going to invest the insurance money in his business and use it to get the rest of the money we'd need for a bigger newer car/suv.

bkrahn

@sunshineandwhiskey @PatientlyWaiting10 @LaceyBee522 Thanks girls! We've tried to distance ourselves as much as possible over the past few months, but it seems like whatever little  communication we do have gets turned around & used against us anyways. Tough situation, that's for sure. 

@oneblessedmess totally. I know everyone grieves differently, and it just seems like they took all their bottled up feelings out on our situation, which makes it hard to settle. thanks for your words!

krash_

@ffw0617 juice is just too sweet for me. It's fine to have I just don't like it most of the time. I will probably try to cut it with something. 

momlyfe29

@bkrahn dang I’m so sorry!!! I remember reading that in your other post. Sorry you have to experience that! 

My bitchfest... my inlaws. They are terrible people and they are spending the day with us. So I’m just stress eating sour patch kids 

knitsandgiggles

@rnielsen321 - Good luck at your new position!  Sorry that this week is going to drag.  

@krashke - watered down juice maybe?  What are you looking to avoid - sugar, caffeine?

@bkrahn - Wow, I am really sorry that you and DH have to deal with such toxic family.  Did I read correctly that they specifically asked you the outcome of your insemination, but passive aggressively after you had just seen them in person?  And they didn't congratulate you to boot?  You don't need that kind of stress in your life and maybe taking a step back from interacting with them at all would be a good start.  Is your DH close to his brother and could maybe have a chat just the two of them?  Understandably this is a really emotional situation, but them treating you like this isn't okay.  

@ffw0617 - were you able to talk to him this morning about his staying out late?  

knitsandgiggles

My Monday bitch is the stupid crossfit gym that I was a part of is making things difficult.  Short background is a fell and dislocated my shoulder during a run around the gym back in August during one of the workouts.  It was dark, very poor lighting.  In hindsight, it was a really bad combination.)  Instead of not charging me the membership fee while I was out, they are going to keep charging me monthly until I come back and add the extra months at the end of the membership.  Which conveniently would be June-August.  On top of this, I have made some really awesome friends and I don't want to leave because I actually do really enjoy it there.  

RatParade

@krashke I'm in the same boat.  I've really only drink water, coffee and alcohol.  And now that alcohol is gone I realize that I pretty much only drink water and it's sorta lame haha.  I've been trying to get into sparkling water- adding lime juice helps but it's just not the same.  My husband had a beer last night and I legit pouted.  I've had a non alcoholic beer but it's not very good.

LaceyBee522

@knitsandgiggles Gym memberships can be so frustrating! I'm so sorry about your injury - it sounds painful! I also just wanted to say I love your screen name.  

@boymama29 GL with your in laws today!! We called my in laws to chat last night. Father in Law told us we shouldn't bother buying our place because it is way too small - we may want kids some day. Lol....we did not reveal that I'm currently pregnant, but it will be pretty hilarious in a few weeks.

@ffw0617 Sorry you are dealing with that! Have you been able to talk to him about it today? MH doesn't go out much, but he really wasn't coming to terms with me being KU'd up and what it actually means to his life, too. Last night he finally told me he was "starting to get nervous." So maybe, he just needs a little more time for it all to sink in?

@PatientlyWaiting10 That's a good idea re the vacation time. 

LaceyBee522

@krashke and @RatParade I've gotten very into the flavored Perrier cans: https://www.perrier.com/us/en-us/perrier-with-natural-flavors. Right now orange and watermelon are my faves. I just bought strawberry, but haven't tried it yet. I can't find pink grapefruit, but really want that one!

tammy574

@bkrahn I think you are doing the right thing. Distancing yourself without cutting them out completely. Think about in 5 or so years when this is hopefully behind you and them how you will be glad you were the bigger person and didnt permanently lose any relationships. 

ffw0617

@knitsandgiggles no. I feel like we had this talk several times before ttc and during ttc I don't feel like its something we should have to talk about again. A friend of mine (who is also pg with a DH that has a simular social life to mine) said that once he hears the heart beat it'll "become real for him" and it'll probably click. IDK.

mytinc

@ffw0617, Is it possible he thinks the cutting back on staying out late will be once the baby is here?  Or does he understand your expectation is that he cuts back during the pregnancy as well?

ffw0617

@mytinc no he knows. we've been together 6 years. He's 31 (so since I was 21 and he was 25) and he'd ask if I had a problem with him going out, I always said no, enjoy your youthful childfree life. I mean we do things together (date) and stuff so its not that I personally feel neglected. I just don't want to be left home alone with a baby/ child a couple times a week. I don't want him thinking just because I'm home on a Saturday night that means I'm fine being home alone with a baby/ child for the next 10 years while he enjoys himself until 1-2-3 in the morning. Not cool.

bkrahn

@knitsandgiggles yes, you read that correctly! And yeah DH and his brother were pretty close before this all happened, which is what makes it so hard! Thank you!
@tammy574 yes, I'm hoping so! And that's what we are trying to avoid as well. We have a 2.5 year old nephew & they are also nearly due with their second one, so I would hate it if we weren't able to be a part of their lives growing up! 

bkrahn

@ffw0617 I'm sorry you're dealing with that with your DH. My DH stays out late once a week, and even that seems like too much! Hope you guys can sort through that! 

@boymama29 thanks girl! And I hope you make it through the day! Make sure you treat yourself after they leave

ChloandCoco

My Monday b*tchfest goes to the nurse I talked to this morning. TW** my last two pregnancies ended in mc, so my OB said I would get extra testing this time **End TW. When I told the nurse about my history, she scheduled an appointment with my OB in 3 weeks (which is not helpful at all), and only ordered a beta test to confirm pregnancy, not that my betas are doubling... I'm calling back tomorrow and I'm going to speak with my OB's assistant. 

chocomom2

@ChloandCocoThey ordered my betas as the results came back - so I called for results from the first one and they ordered the doubling test then. Maybe they will do the same thing? Were you expecting an appt sooner too?

ChloandCoco

@chocomom2 Maybe, I just think the nurse who set up my appointments is quite new. I’m hoping to change around my appointments tomorrow so that it makes more sense. 

bitzyg

@bkrahn I can empathize with your issue. I have 2 family members with personality disorders, and it’s amazing how their reality and my reality are so polar opposite. It can be so confusing and hardball to stay in the right mind, but it sounds like you are doing a good job of that! Sorry you are going through it.

@boymama29 I like the sour patch coping. I might use that next time!