@eggplantface I was like damn a soup party. Soup is all I crave since becoming pregnant. I am quiet jelly.
I came up with the idea to do 7 days of Soupmas with my parents when it gets colder. We are having a new soup every day. I am excited and ready for the soup.
@ahoneycutt12 I am so sorry I would be LIVID. DH was a little tipsy after a brewery visit today and that was annoying enough for me.
In personal news we saw 4 houses today and we may be offering on one! Waiting for a few reports from work they had done to come in before deciding though.
We got the fish tanks moved and all the storage out of the living room alcove that will be the baby room. Just have to move DH's desk, paint and get a rug then it will be all ready for our little one!
****TW Signature****
DD born 04/28/2002 Married DH 03/25/2017 1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017 BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
Do any of you have suggestions for somewhere to get an affordable dress for a baby shower? Nothing that I already have fits all that well, currently, but I don't want to spend an arm and a leg on a new dress that will likely only be worn once. Bonus if it could work as a nursing dress after (to get more wear from it)?
Do any of you have suggestions for somewhere to get an affordable dress for a baby shower? Nothing that I already have fits all that well, currently, but I don't want to spend an arm and a leg on a new dress that will likely only be worn once. Bonus if it could work as a nursing dress after (to get more wear from it)?
Old navy? They usually have multiple wear pieces and you can dress it up with an open cardigan or sweater
My weekend was pretty eventful! I went to my friend's baby shower on Saturday, which turned out to be pretty fun. I don't go to many showers, but this shower was very relaxed. It was a display shower, buffet (I helped myself to seconds, no shame), and there were multiple active (guess the baby product, guess mom's preferences for baby features) and no-active activities (decorate a onesie or bib, sign the guestbook, guess how many peanuts are in a jar).
On Sunday, went to a Renaissance Faire for my niece's birthday. I've never been, and it was a great time! Good weather, and I helped myself to a large turkey leg!
Jealous that you guys are setting up your nursery! We have ideas, and plan on putting it altogether after our shower.
@SarahFoley725 Thankfully he realizes he royally screwed up (even while still drunk which was a little amusing). He spent the day yesterday after he got home from work doing everything for me... and I didn't even have to ask him to do any of it. He cleaned, he made dinner, he even offered for me to go take a nap and he would wrangle the 2 year old (no easy feat especially around dinner time). I also told him if he ever does that again I am making him sleep outside and his response was that's fair
@lucylou214 someone suggested Pinkblush to me. I've looked and it's affordable and cute. Haven't ordered yet but I'm going to try it. Planning to get something I can wear for my shower and Christmas mass.
@lucylou214 Try Amazon, too. Sizing can be a pain sometimes, so I read reviews (esp the ones w pictures) and check return policy lol. Bought a couple inexpensive wrap dresses that will adjust as I grow (not necessarily maternity).
@lucylou214 Motherhood has sales a lot too, so you can get a dress for pretty cheap. Now they have $8+ styles. I also second Old Navy, they have sales a lot too.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
I tried to post in this thread yesterday when it was the actual weekend but calling our Internet connection spotty as of lately would be the understatement of the year. So maybe third time's the charm here?
@chucksmom15 congrats on clearing out the room that will be your nursery! We are waiting on a visit from my MIL this weekend to start on my son's new bedroom. I'm looking forward to having my MIL and her weird fiancé around about as much as I'm looking forward to building Mickey Mouse bookshelves, painting/adding wall decals and constructing a bed from scratch with my husband. have you settled on a theme for the nursery?
@SunflowerMama428 that sounds like an intense evening at work. I went to a wedding this weekend and as a pregnant guest, I didn't want to be there. I can't imagine having to work an event like that, especially surrounded by drunks who are THAT obnoxious. Ugh. I'm glad you finally made it home to get some rest.
@BrittaniLC Enjoy Vienna and Prague! Sounds like an amazing trip!
As for my weekend... it was WAY too busy for my liking. I wasn't always someone who liked to stay home but I've become more and more of a homebody who doesn't enjoy crowds, people, public outings, socializing etc. so having my entire weekend eaten up by a major occasion kind of bummed me out come this morning. I mentioned it on the weekend ticker change but... I attended a family wedding on Saturday evening. I have been dreading this event for weeks and while it did turn out to be a much more pleasant occasion than I anticipated, my sister said/did some things to sour the evening (she does this ALWAYS) and I'm so super over it. I think the primary problem I have with her is that we are truly in two very very different places in our lives. I got married in my mid twenties, we moved to the burbs, and now with a toddler and a baby on the way, I have a very different lifestyle then hers at the moment. When I was in my early 20's we were really close but then I got married and left Massachusetts and things changed. Now, if we talk, she usually says something mind blowingly selfish that infuriates me. Case in point: She's turning 30 at the end of December and two weeks ago she sent out evites to both DH and I to her 30th birthday party. It's going to be in a bar, in Boston, on the day before NYE. I will be about 36 weeks pregnant and not only was I told I MUST attend, but I also need to help her bf plan this AND pitch in toward the cost. Everything is a competition with her about how much better she is and I've been unwillingly playing since we were little which makes her even angrier. She's got some kind of complex or something, I don't even know anymore. She's built up her 30th into this 'milestone' for how much better she is at adulting then other people. She's really REALLY into the idea of status and who has better this or that etc. and I'm just completely over it now. She made a few comments at the wedding to me that I perceived to be digs maybe because of hormones or maybe not but I'm so mentally exhausted from the drama.I'm hoping for a better weekend next week...but my MIL and her idiot fiancé (soon to be husband number 4) are coming down for the weekend and I'm already feeling like I literally can't even. Hoping for a good/nice/relaxing week before the crazy starts all over again.
@amb929 your sister sounds delightful. I have no patients for selfishness. No the world does not revolve around you. I love her to death but she can also be very self centered and all about status. I have had to tell her multiple times over the last several months that she is acting like a bitch, and no one else ( not even family) is obligated to drop thousands of dollars just because you expect a certain standard.
If it was me I would tell your sister that your OB said no travel at 36 weeks. Sorry not sorry
@GoogleMD she truly IS a delight *insert eye roll emoji* (God I wish that was an option on here) I wish I could tell her that...but she's a nurse and she's gonna call BS on no traveling an hour by car lol She's such a lunatic she's convinced her once divorced boyfriend of less than a year is going to propose any day now..and I can't wait to be a part of the train wreck... *so many more eye roll emojis* She's also already demanding that my kids be a part of the wedding (she doesn't even have a ring yet) so this of course sends the anxiety through the roof unncessarily and I've already commissioned my friend who watched my son this weekend to come to the wedding with us so she can take the kids back to the hotel because I won't be allowed to leave at an acceptable hour. Thats gonna be the deal. My friend gets an invite or we don't go. lol I already have plans to decline Maid of Honor duties and I'm sure that's gonna go over SO well...but at least that way DH and I can sit together and we'll have someone to commiserate with while we watch the world burn.
Just to further clarify how egocentric she is...a couple weeks ago, she called my son "kinda an a*hole" because he said he didn't like her. He tells me and my husband he doesn't like us all the time. He also claims not to like breakfast. And the potty. And cookies. He's two.You're the GD adult, what purpose does calling a two year old names serve?
An update/poetic justice on selfish sister: she just called me to complain that her car got broken into last night. The "thieves" stole a GPS system circa 2009 that she doesn't even use and an oxygen mask. She claims she locked the door but the windows weren't smashed and theres no damage to the car at all... so I'm guessing she left it unlocked, parked on the streets of Boston. Karma is a thing apparently...and mood improved.
@amb929 your sister sounds like mine in the sense that everything is status to her. She got an RN degree and I’m a bar manager in a major city and make the same as her without the student debt. Although I start school in the fall of 2018 for a degree in physical therapy and I’m quiet excited about it but so to her, her life choices were better. I tell her that my kids are cuter. Lol please tell me you are not doing this birthday thing 8 months pregnant. She is insane for assuming that.
@amb929 I think at some point you have to realize that the status of that relationship is toxic to your emotional health and set some hard boundaries. They're uncomfortable to put in place in the beginning, but I've found that everyone is happier once they're followed.
@SunflowerMama428 DH is in a doctoral physical therapy degree program right now. He loves it. Good luck!
@amb929 just say no!! She'll pitch a fit when you tell her you aren't going but she sounds like she is so wrapped up in herself she'll forget in 5 minutes. I wouldn't pitch in and plan it either. So rude to tell someone to plan you a party!!!
@amb929 don't put yourself through the stress of the party! She may be an RN, but she isn't your OB, and it is quite common for people to be put on restrictions, at 36 weeks. Especially with that kind of stress and activity level she is expecting. Also no one should have to pay for a 30 year olds birthday party except the 30 year old itself or significant other. Maybe play along until like 32 weeks and then be all like, "oh, sorry i can't go. Dr's orders. " unless yoy just want to tell her no. That would be way to much for me to handle.
@amb929 I would absolutely not accept any of that crap. Tell her no. You and your family are more important than her party. That’s just crazy. I have three sisters and I am close to all of them- they all know better than to pull that crap on me.
When it comes down to it, what matters in life is people (I.e. your kids). Not parties and different lifestyles. No way would I want to do that really at all… Much less at 36 weeks pregnant. Lol.
@amb929 She sounds like a peach! Tell her if she’s such an adult she should pay for her own party, that’s what adults do, after all. And pregnant women can decide for themselves where we travel!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@lucylou214 It may be too late but I just remembered Zulily. I've had good luck getting the maternity stuff shipped fast (I guess they realize people buying maternity need it sooner rather than later) and size-wise it's been fitting as-described. They also have PinkBlush stuff sometimes.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
Thank you ladies all for the support and allowing me to vent! My selfish sister has always been a huge problem for me and typically I just kind of sit down and take it. Theres a very long and complicated history between us that dates back to high school. Its too complicated to really get into everything but...the short version...I had major surgery my senior year of high school, nearly dying in the process, and unfortunately that surgery took on Christmas (which also happens to be my sister's birthday). Since that time, there have been a series of other events, none of which involve me, but other family members, that have 'overshadowed' major events in my sister's life. Rather than understanding that stuff like this is out of anyone's control...she takes these as personal slights. So me being 'too pregnant' or having a baby sometime around her Christmas birthday is yet another way that the world has 'wronged her.' It makes very little sense to an emotional stable person...but it is how it is. I've had countless conversations with my mother about her behavior and usually... my mom comes to her defense justifying her actions for whatever reason. A few weeks ago, my sister interviewed for a job and it was within the hospital she presently works at... she received a courtesy follow up from the hiring manager to tell her she wasn't being given the position and offer her some feedback and tips for the future. She basically reacted like the entitled millennial that she is and got super upset with 'how she was treated' then went home at 8am after a night shift, and downed two bottles of wine. I get that she was upset and maybe okay if you work nights and are on an opposite schedule as everyone else...have a glass and wallow in it a bit. Instead, she drank two bottles...called my mom in HYSTERICS and had herself a massive pity party. My mom happened to me at my house because it was my birthday. She tried to tell my sister for over an hour that she couldn't talk because we were out celebrating. Instead my sister carried on with her nonsense for an hour and never even acknowledged my birthday. I've been dealing with this bullshit for so long that it honestly wasn't a huge big deal...BUT then of course, my mom defends how she behaved and I pretty much LOST IT on her. I'm the type of person that bottles feelings up until they explode and I know it's a bad thing to do...but if I didn't... I'd probably have punched my sister in the face by now. It's been like 30 years of straight drama and now that I have my own family, I'm starting to adopt a better approach to her. I'll sometimes actually tell her how I feel...and she doesn't want to hear it and kind of gets upset with me and I'm at the point now where I just have no fucks left to give... So as far as the birthday party is concerned, I consulted my husband and we came up with a plan. 1. She isn't getting a gift cause she's 30 and that's how it is when you're an adult. I haven't received a birthday present from her in I can't even remember how long so why am I going to do for you? 2. I am NOT contributing financially to this birthday party. It's not my party to throw, it's not my problem. 3. We have already scheduled three weekends one in November, one in December and god willing if I make it to mid-January...one in January for my son to spend at my moms in preparation for the time he'll be with her while I'm hospitalized. That week is one of them...so we are going to make an appearance at the party. Staying no more than an hour or two...and then going to do something else in Boston that WE want to do...because it'll be one of the last chances my husband and I will get for a date night so we're taking advantage of that and she will NOT bully me into staying in a bar with her stupid drunk friends. I also will not be transporting her anyway when she and her boyfriend are too drunk to function at the end of the night. Put on your big girl pants and call an Uber. I know she's going to be upset, angry, disappointed, all the things..but maybe this will be good preparation for her to learn that the world DOESN'T revolve around her and also it will prepare her for when I say absolutely NOT to a role in her wedding to this loser at some undetermined point in the semi-nearish future. I appreciate all of the advice I received on my post, I think that maybe hearing that my feelings are not actually unwarranted helped me to not bottle this time and talk out my feelings with someone to develop a plan. I seriously feel like a crazy person when it comes to her because my mom comes to her defense CONSTANTLY. And now I can see that this is pretty unnecessary and she IS in the wrong. So thank you ladies so much for your thoughts and helpful advice
Good for you @amb929!!! I think your plan is great. Your well being and your baby are more important than her birthday! Enjoy your date night with your husband!!
Good plan @amb929 ! I think its a great start to laying some healthy boundaries between you and her. I wouldn't worry about your mom's position much, she's too close to be objective anyway. Just keep doing whats best for you and your little family!
@amb929 Complaining about a sibling to a shared parent will usually have the parent defending the "bad" sibling because the parent might be thinking that the sibling's problems are a result of bad parenting, so they don't want to admit that there's anything wrong. Meaning, I understand why your mom would defend her because she's kind of defending herself. Case in point: My brother is overall a good person but he's really, really uncommunicative with my parents: never answers their phone calls or returns voicemails, never answers texts or emails, etc. The only way to get in touch with him is through his wife and it's really frustrating my parents. My mom complains about it to me and every time she says "I don't understand how he turned out like this" with this worried voice and I know she's thinking it's somehow her and my dad's fault. But it's 100% not, he's just a dick. So your mom might not be the sympathetic ear you want. But we can be!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface I think we have the same brother. I mean, I love my brother and he's one of my favorite people, but he's IMPOSSIBLE to communicate with. My parents hate it and ask me about him all of the time and it makes me crazy.
@eggplantface I think we have the same brother. I mean, I love my brother and he's one of my favorite people, but he's IMPOSSIBLE to communicate with. My parents hate it and ask me about him all of the time and it makes me crazy.
+1 in the brother who doesn't communicate well. And I'm the one who hears about it bc he never picks up the phone! I finally just started telling my mom that is an issue between them and I'm done talking about it.
Joining the "brother doesn't communicate" bandwagon. My mom does the same thing @chucksmom15--always yells at me bc brother doesn't show up for stuff or doesn't get in contact with her. I am also the one who always has to tell him about stuff....I am not sure when that role reversal between my mom and I happened, but I am not ok with it!
@amb929 Sounds like a good plan for you and your husband! Also a great point @eggplantface made. My baby brother is the one my mom constantly enables and defends, even though she keeps asking me and my older brother to help him grow up. Um we can't for as long as you're enabling him (i.e. pays his bills), but then she gets upset when we point out she needs to take a stand w/ us.
What is up with our brothers?? I thought it was because my mom doesn't know how or when to end a conversation so he just avoided her altogether to not have hour-long conversations, but I see a trend here!
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
I feel like there's always ONE in the family (w/ more than 1 kid) that causes more drama. Even most of my friends have that one sibling they just want to roll their eyes at lol.
My mom totally defends my little sister like this! @eggplantface your reasoning actually makes sense!! I never thought of it that way! My sister is 26 going on 16. She is super immature and just a witch to everyone! And then wonders why people get mad or frustrated with her! And of course my parents (mainly my mom) defend her and give her money even though she has a job and chooses to party. If you can afford smokes and alcohol then you can support yourself at 26! She also never answers her phone but gets mad that we aren't sitting around waiting for her to call or text!
Re: Weekend chatter
@ahoneycutt12 I am so sorry I would be LIVID. DH was a little tipsy after a brewery visit today and that was annoying enough for me.
In personal news we saw 4 houses today and we may be offering on one! Waiting for a few reports from work they had done to come in before deciding though.
DD born 04/28/2002
Married DH 03/25/2017
1st MMC 08/13/2016 2nd MMC 02/14/2017
BFP 06/16/17 Rainbow DS Born 02/05/2018
My weekend was pretty eventful! I went to my friend's baby shower on Saturday, which turned out to be pretty fun. I don't go to many showers, but this shower was very relaxed. It was a display shower, buffet (I helped myself to seconds, no shame), and there were multiple active (guess the baby product, guess mom's preferences for baby features) and no-active activities (decorate a onesie or bib, sign the guestbook, guess how many peanuts are in a jar).
On Sunday, went to a Renaissance Faire for my niece's birthday. I've never been, and it was a great time! Good weather, and I helped myself to a large turkey leg!
Jealous that you guys are setting up your nursery! We have ideas, and plan on putting it altogether after our shower.
@BrittaniLC - have a great time on vacation!
@lucylou214 someone suggested Pinkblush to me. I've looked and it's affordable and cute. Haven't ordered yet but I'm going to try it. Planning to get something I can wear for my shower and Christmas mass.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
@chucksmom15 congrats on clearing out the room that will be your nursery! We are waiting on a visit from my MIL this weekend to start on my son's new bedroom. I'm looking forward to having my MIL and her weird fiancé around about as much as I'm looking forward to building Mickey Mouse bookshelves, painting/adding wall decals and constructing a bed from scratch with my husband.
@SunflowerMama428 that sounds like an intense evening at work. I went to a wedding this weekend and as a pregnant guest, I didn't want to be there. I can't imagine having to work an event like that, especially surrounded by drunks who are THAT obnoxious. Ugh. I'm glad you finally made it home to get some rest.
@BrittaniLC Enjoy Vienna and Prague! Sounds like an amazing trip!
As for my weekend... it was WAY too busy for my liking. I wasn't always someone who liked to stay home but I've become more and more of a homebody who doesn't enjoy crowds, people, public outings, socializing etc. so having my entire weekend eaten up by a major occasion kind of bummed me out come this morning.
I mentioned it on the weekend ticker change but... I attended a family wedding on Saturday evening. I have been dreading this event for weeks and while it did turn out to be a much more pleasant occasion than I anticipated, my sister said/did some things to sour the evening (she does this ALWAYS) and I'm so super over it.
I think the primary problem I have with her is that we are truly in two very very different places in our lives. I got married in my mid twenties, we moved to the burbs, and now with a toddler and a baby on the way, I have a very different lifestyle then hers at the moment. When I was in my early 20's we were really close but then I got married and left Massachusetts and things changed. Now, if we talk, she usually says something mind blowingly selfish that infuriates me. Case in point: She's turning 30 at the end of December and two weeks ago she sent out evites to both DH and I to her 30th birthday party. It's going to be in a bar, in Boston, on the day before NYE. I will be about 36 weeks pregnant and not only was I told I MUST attend, but I also need to help her bf plan this AND pitch in toward the cost. Everything is a competition with her about how much better she is and I've been unwillingly playing since we were little which makes her even angrier. She's got some kind of complex or something, I don't even know anymore. She's built up her 30th into this 'milestone' for how much better she is at adulting then other people. She's really REALLY into the idea of status and who has better this or that etc. and I'm just completely over it now. She made a few comments at the wedding to me that I perceived to be digs maybe because of hormones or maybe not but I'm so mentally exhausted from the drama.I'm hoping for a better weekend next week...but my MIL and her idiot fiancé (soon to be husband number 4) are coming down for the weekend and I'm already feeling like I literally can't even.
If it was me I would tell your sister that your OB said no travel at 36 weeks. Sorry not sorry
She's such a lunatic she's convinced her once divorced boyfriend of less than a year is going to propose any day now..and I can't wait to be a part of the train wreck... *so many more eye roll emojis* She's also already demanding that my kids be a part of the wedding (she doesn't even have a ring yet) so this of course sends the anxiety through the roof unncessarily and I've already commissioned my friend who watched my son this weekend to come to the wedding with us so she can take the kids back to the hotel because I won't be allowed to leave at an acceptable hour. Thats gonna be the deal. My friend gets an invite or we don't go. lol I already have plans to decline Maid of Honor duties and I'm sure that's gonna go over SO well...but at least that way DH and I can sit together and we'll have someone to commiserate with while we watch the world burn.
Just to further clarify how egocentric she is...a couple weeks ago, she called my son "kinda an a*hole" because he said he didn't like her. He tells me and my husband he doesn't like us all the time. He also claims not to like breakfast. And the potty. And cookies. He's two.You're the GD adult, what purpose does calling a two year old names serve?
An update/poetic justice on selfish sister: she just called me to complain that her car got broken into last night. The "thieves" stole a GPS system circa 2009 that she doesn't even use and an oxygen mask. She claims she locked the door but the windows weren't smashed and theres no damage to the car at all... so I'm guessing she left it unlocked, parked on the streets of Boston. Karma is a thing apparently...and mood improved.
@SunflowerMama428 DH is in a doctoral physical therapy degree program right now. He loves it. Good luck!
older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7
When it comes down to it, what matters in life is people (I.e. your kids). Not parties and different lifestyles. No way would I want to do that really at all… Much less at 36 weeks pregnant. Lol.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
Thank you ladies all for the support and allowing me to vent! My selfish sister has always been a huge problem for me and typically I just kind of sit down and take it. Theres a very long and complicated history between us that dates back to high school. Its too complicated to really get into everything but...the short version...I had major surgery my senior year of high school, nearly dying in the process, and unfortunately that surgery took on Christmas (which also happens to be my sister's birthday). Since that time, there have been a series of other events, none of which involve me, but other family members, that have 'overshadowed' major events in my sister's life. Rather than understanding that stuff like this is out of anyone's control...she takes these as personal slights. So me being 'too pregnant' or having a baby sometime around her Christmas birthday is yet another way that the world has 'wronged her.' It makes very little sense to an emotional stable person...but it is how it is. I've had countless conversations with my mother about her behavior and usually... my mom comes to her defense justifying her actions for whatever reason. A few weeks ago, my sister interviewed for a job and it was within the hospital she presently works at... she received a courtesy follow up from the hiring manager to tell her she wasn't being given the position and offer her some feedback and tips for the future. She basically reacted like the entitled millennial that she is and got super upset with 'how she was treated' then went home at 8am after a night shift, and downed two bottles of wine. I get that she was upset and maybe okay if you work nights and are on an opposite schedule as everyone else...have a glass and wallow in it a bit. Instead, she drank two bottles...called my mom in HYSTERICS and had herself a massive pity party. My mom happened to me at my house because it was my birthday. She tried to tell my sister for over an hour that she couldn't talk because we were out celebrating. Instead my sister carried on with her nonsense for an hour and never even acknowledged my birthday. I've been dealing with this bullshit for so long that it honestly wasn't a huge big deal...BUT then of course, my mom defends how she behaved and I pretty much LOST IT on her. I'm the type of person that bottles feelings up until they explode and I know it's a bad thing to do...but if I didn't... I'd probably have punched my sister in the face by now. It's been like 30 years of straight drama and now that I have my own family, I'm starting to adopt a better approach to her. I'll sometimes actually tell her how I feel...and she doesn't want to hear it and kind of gets upset with me and I'm at the point now where I just have no fucks left to give...
So as far as the birthday party is concerned, I consulted my husband and we came up with a plan. 1. She isn't getting a gift cause she's 30 and that's how it is when you're an adult. I haven't received a birthday present from her in I can't even remember how long so why am I going to do for you? 2. I am NOT contributing financially to this birthday party. It's not my party to throw, it's not my problem. 3. We have already scheduled three weekends one in November, one in December and god willing if I make it to mid-January...one in January for my son to spend at my moms in preparation for the time he'll be with her while I'm hospitalized. That week is one of them...so we are going to make an appearance at the party. Staying no more than an hour or two...and then going to do something else in Boston that WE want to do...because it'll be one of the last chances my husband and I will get for a date night so we're taking advantage of that and she will NOT bully me into staying in a bar with her stupid drunk friends. I also will not be transporting her anyway when she and her boyfriend are too drunk to function at the end of the night. Put on your big girl pants and call an Uber. I know she's going to be upset, angry, disappointed, all the things..but maybe this will be good preparation for her to learn that the world DOESN'T revolve around her and also it will prepare her for when I say absolutely NOT to a role in her wedding to this loser at some undetermined point in the semi-nearish future. I appreciate all of the advice I received on my post, I think that maybe hearing that my feelings are not actually unwarranted helped me to not bottle this time and talk out my feelings with someone to develop a plan. I seriously feel like a crazy person when it comes to her because my mom comes to her defense CONSTANTLY. And now I can see that this is pretty unnecessary and she IS in the wrong. So thank you ladies so much for your thoughts and helpful advice
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
Also a great point @eggplantface made. My baby brother is the one my mom constantly enables and defends, even though she keeps asking me and my older brother to help him grow up. Um we can't for as long as you're enabling him (i.e. pays his bills), but then she gets upset when we point out she needs to take a stand w/ us.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
DD angel baby 10/16
Rainbow Due 02/20/18
My sister is 26 going on 16. She is super immature and just a witch to everyone! And then wonders why people get mad or frustrated with her! And of course my parents (mainly my mom) defend her and give her money even though she has a job and chooses to party. If you can afford smokes and alcohol then you can support yourself at 26!
She also never answers her phone but gets mad that we aren't sitting around waiting for her to call or text!