TTTC Checkin 10/03/2017

GoldenKeys

Hey all,

It's checkin time!  Congratulations to any BFP's and hugs to anybody who needs one.

@SoonToBeMommaHowe: Holy cow!!! I am so happy for you!  Congratulations :-D
@emmasemm:  congrats for being PUPO! FX for you
@amac2313:  Welcome to the checkin... it's a great group of women here.

How is everybody doing?

2017 BFP Hall Fame

BecauseLove dx: amenorrhea, PCOS  Rx: IVF
MandyBeeSLP: dx: low progesterone, borderline PCOS, vitamin D insufficiency Rx:  IUI with

letrozole
MountainLady: dx: Unexplained, Rx: Letrozole
kd0202: dx: Unexplained, LPD Rx: Clomid 50mg
pawcall: dx: MFI(morph) + testing Rx: unmedicated IUI
PoeMasque dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
MJDsquared : dx: PCOS Rx:Letrozole
greenange dx: anovulatory PCOS w/insulin resistance Rx: Metformin, Letrozole, trigger +

TI
mrswifeytoad:  dx: PCOS  Rx: metformin + Clomid
SunflowerMama428: dx: pcos, blocked fallopian tube Rx: clomid
vintageandrea90: dx:PCOS  Rx:Femara + trigger + TI

PAGING:

@Bababatty: dx:Low Motility  Rx: Letrozole + trigger + IUI
@ChristinaV2015: dx: blocked tubes, PCOS, endo + MFI  Rx: lap, OPKs + TI
@emgem819 dx: PCOS, Rx: provera, femara + Bravelle
@hoffmanr7: dx: unexplained Rx:  Clomid 100mg
@jmr1515: dx: Mild MFI/morph, fibroid  Rx: Surgery + TI
@mackenzie07 dx: PCOS and Endo  Rx: metformin, letrozole, ovidrel
@mandasand: dx: low AMH  Rx:IVF (Lupron, Menopur + Follistim)
@Mlight28: dx Unexplained Rx: Clomid
@MrsM00re87: dx: DOR PCOS, low morph Rx: Femara + TI
@Mythril: dx: PCOS (anovulatory) Rx:levothyroxine, metformin and femara + TI
@rachlee2010: dx: DOR Rx: IUI
@Samanthaarielxo dx: anovulation Rx: still in testing
@sarah0985: dx: PCOS, possible blocked tubes Rx: Lap
@seethosestars:  Dx: DOR + MFI and Rx: letrozole + IUI
@SM746830: dx: PCOS, blocked tubes Rx: Surgery, Clomid
@smokinangel: possible PCOS, MTHFR gene, slight MFI Rx: trying to regulate hormones

naturally
@starlitfae dx: MFI & balanced translocation, thyroid  Rx: ivf with pgd testing
@Labluver2 dx: testing
@laurad75 dx: possible DOR  Rx: IVF
@funkykey dx: unexplained, polyp Rx: Clomid + IUI + surgery
@Worldtravler0522 dx: PCOS/Unexplained Rx: IVF
@notamyrtle: dx: unexplained Rx: IUI + injects
@Kim41313: dx: MFI Rx: waiting for testing
@MountainLady: dx: Unexplained Rx: Letrozole + IUI / possible IVF
@Kate437: dx:anovulatory   Rx:Letrozole + trigger
@MooFish2364 fibroid + endo Rx: surgery + TI
@Tops: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: Metformin, testing
@SP128: in testing/unexplained
@msstephanielynn: dx:septate uterus, MTHFR  Rx: surgery
@eranvo27: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: metformin, progesterone
@brittlefebvre: in testing
@Charligirl28: dx: unexplained Rx: Clomid
@kristimh80: dx: unexplained Rx: Injectables + trigger + IUI
@SoonToBeMommaHowe: dx: Unexplained  Rx: naturally until IVF
@Brooke4131: dx: Secondary unexplained Rx: in testing
@fluffybookworm: dx: Anovulation + insulin resistance Rx: Metformin + prometrium +

testing
@Asampson87: dx: unexplained + MFI  Rx: metformin + testing
@soehlerk: dx: Unexplained Rx: Femara + IUI
@hannahlce: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: metformin + letrozole
@emmasemm: dx: DOR & autoimmune Rx: IVF
@tinabell8: dx: unexplained, RPL Rx: baby aspirin, testing
@floridanursegirl: dx: unexplained anovulation Rx:Metformin, IUI+Femara+trigger
@mac627: dx: low amh, possible blocked tube  Rx: testing, Follistim, trigger, IUI
@aeb1116: dx: unexplained Rx: IUI
@Happyin14: dx: unexplained, RPL Rx: IVF
@amac2313: dx: unknown Rx: Clomid


NEWCOMERS:To be added to the Weekly Checkin, please answer the following:
1.  How long have you been TTC?
2.  What is your diagnosis?
3.  What is your current Rx plan?

QOTW: How do you decorate your house for the fall?

funkykey

I don't have a lot of news. My surgery went well, and now I'm waiting for my first FET!

QOTW: I'm not much of a decorator (...yet!) but I do like pulling out candles in the fall. I don't tend to burn scented candles in the summer, but on a crisp, dark fall night? Light me up!

Looking forward to everyone's updates! So much going on!

emmasemm

@funkykey glad to hear surgery went well!

AFM had strong cramps and heavy spotting last night, assume only the crinone is stopping full blown AF. Waiting for a call back from the clinic, but assuming they will make me go for beta on Friday still even though it's academic. Felling a bit angry right now (I move through sad fast) but trying to channel it into getting all my ideas and questions on the table for the follow up and confirm the November IVF #2 schedule asap, as I'm flying to China in 1.5 weeks for 2 weeks and want everything organized before then.

tops-2

Hey @GoldenKeys can my Rx please be updated to Metformin, Letrozole & TI?

@funkykey - congrats Glad to hear it went well and things are moving forward.

AFM: Started on Provera this afternoon after the blood test confirmed no remaining HCG. So I should be back on the letrozole in around 2 weeks I'm just so relieved to be back on the horse so to speak.

msstephanielynn

I don't have much news. Surgery went well. Hating every moment of having to wear pads Follow-up with OB on the 16th. They moved to a brand new office, so I'm excited to see what it looks like. I'll try to finalize our plan for baby aspirin & progesterone timing for November's cycle with OB, when I'll be unbenched.  Not going back to our RE unless it's a last resort. 

QOTW: We decorate our front porch mostly and just burn all the Autumn scented candles

@funkykey Glad things went well and that you are off the bench! CELEBRATE!! 

@emmasemm I'll keep my fingers crossed for you until Thursday. Safe (and fun?) travels to China in a few weeks. 

@tops-2 Congrats on being back in the game! 

MooFish2364

@funkykey I’m so glad your surgery went well!

@msstephanielynn I’m glad your surgery went well also!

@tops-2 I’m glad you’re back at it! 

My RE doesn’t want to put me on steroids (to help with my immune system killing everything) because of the risk of birth defects. Which I totally understand but I can’t have a baby with birth defects if I can’t even get KU. So we are still just TI until our next RE appointment in November. My RE was so convinced that I would just get pregnant and I wasn’t. It’s looking like my instincts were right. 

I kove decorating! I love fall scented candles and I have a lot of decorative pumpkins and lanterns. I also like to put decorative garland on my stairs. So far we haven’t put up any decorations because we just tore our carpet out of our main floor and are redoing it. So our house is a disaster. 

funkykey

@emmasemm - I'm sorry.  
I move through sad fast too. 
Here's to getting back on the horse!

Worldtravler0522

@funkykey I'm glad your surgery went well!  Congrats on being off the bench! 

@msstephanielynn glad your surgery went well too!  

AFM-  Just hanging out and waiting for the embryos to be biopsied on Monday.  TW? Since this is infant and pregnancy loss awareness month I decided I am going to post about my losses on FB.  Last year someone shared during October and it brought me so much comfort so my hope is I can help someone this year.  Also as dumb as it sounds I feel like by saying it out loud I take away the power it holds over me. I'm super nervous to do it but I feel like it's something I need to do.     

Question- I love Halloween but we aren't decorating as much this year. We have a small graveyard setup in the yard and a few things on the porch.  

tinabell8

@funkykey glad your surgery went well & hope time passes by fast for you!

@emmasemm ugh!!! i am so bummed to hear your news! I know we had the same beta day and I was hoping you were going to get great news. Any update on official AF?   I too, move past sad and get angry. It just isn't fair and taking progesterone is seriously a mental f*ck if you ask me. I'm hating being on it- I feel like I can't trust my own body. Sending you love and time to heal with good thoughts for the next round. hope you're holding up ok.

@tops-2 I am so glad you are getting back into the swing of things! I'm sure it's a massive relief for you. 

@msstephanielynn ugh i hate having to wear pads too. hope the flow stops soon! Wishing you good luck with the baby aspirin and progesterone in November. I stopped taking the aspirin this past month so we'll see if that made any difference!

@MooFish2364 hope the time passes quickly till your next RE appointment! 


AFM, I am trying my hardest not to POAS and wait till my beta on Friday morning. The last two months, I've gotten AF the night before or morning of my Beta tests so I feel like I need to just wait till Friday. I have no tests in the house, so that's helping, but I'm worried I may miss the call on Friday while I am teaching if I don't have a prep. This progesterone has my emotions really out of whack and I've been feeling really short-tempered and overall emotional, like I could cry at the drop of a dime. I keep reminding myself, the progesterone is making my boobs hurt and this morning I woke up with a swollen gland under my armpit that is driving me insane! Just been a week of mentally preparing myself for a BFN and rereading the "you aren't pregnant, calm down" thread on trying to get pregnant. haha it's really all too real. Thanks for letting me vent it out here, it's so nice to have this outlet.

QOTW: I have a great farmer's market nearby so I've just been decorating the house with little white and orange pumpkins that I pick up at the market. That and a fall candle and I'm set!

fluffybookworm

Heading to the re to go get my blood test to see if this cycle worked. Insurance only covers 1 more round so I'm hoping this worked. 
Still on prometrium but the side effects weren't as bad this month. 

QOTW: I normally don't decorate for fall because all of my little trinkets in my apartment are already fall themed, bronzes and woodland animals so I normally just start burning more candles and that's it. but now I have a bunch of stuff for my partylite shows so I have all that out on display. 

msstephanielynn

So many pending betas! Good luck @tinabell8  @fluffybookworm
@Worldtravler0522  that is a great way to think of it. Such a great thing  


Had a rough go in the last 24hrs. I'm going to *TW* this whole messy post. Also noted that this was copied from my post on TTCAL - too much to write again. 

*TW- child/birth/loss/pregnancy*


 
Yesterday afternoon, on my way home from the train, I drove by the hospital where I delivered my son (it's in my town and on the way) and looked up and saw the room that I gave birth in. The memories just flooded back to me, on how happy it was to be locked up in that room with a newborn, and how naive I was in that time, how easy it was for me to get pregnant on the first try and have a healthy baby. I'm scared for myself because the 3 following miscarriages have changed me. I'm worried that I'll never be able to enjoy that again - either being in the delivery room at all or being there, but just being so damn thankful and relieved that nothing bad happened again after years of worry. 

I'll just never be the same again. I cried most of last night and while talking about it to my Hubs he asked when we would be done trying because it's coming up on a year since we started TTC. I said I wasn't sure that there was a time, but more rather when/ how many miscarriages we go on to have. I'm just not sure how many times I can continue to put myself through this emotionally. And he said that he's not sure how long either because I've changed and he hates to see me go through all of this. So while I am so excited to get off the bench, it's this looming fear coming over me of what if this surgery didn't fix it, what if that wasn't the issue and I'm going to go through this again. Nothing seems easy from this point forward even if I do get that BFP. I just feel broken and of course none other than a beautiful 9 month pregnant chooses my row for the hour train ride into the city this morning. My seat was already ticketed so I was stuck just adding insult to injury.

fluffybookworm

Got my results. Negative. 
FI is upset he doesn't get how all the numbers were good and then nothing. I only have 1 cycle left that insurance will cover.
But I keep reminding him that once we move we are gonna apply to adopt from fostercare so one way or another we are gonna be parents. 

funkykey

@Worldtravler0522 - did you end up posting? I think that's very brave. 

@fluffybookworm - I'm sorry! God, IF is the WORST. What were your SA results? I know you were dealing with anovulation, but I can't remember how your SA results came back.

@msstephanielynn - I'm so sorry. Dealing with all the trauma of IF and recurrent losses is one of the hardest parts. I wonder sometimes how I will ever be able to do things like join a baby group or talk to other pregnant women - sometimes I feel so jealous and angry, and sometimes I'm so sad. I wonder how long it will take before I'm not angry or jealous - I wonder when I will be able to be happy for others when they conceive easily.

Anyway, sending you lots of good vibes, and hoping you are having a better day today. I am really really hopeful that your surgery has fixed everything, but I also think it's normal to be scared, after having been through so much. xo

Worldtravler0522

@funkykey I’m doing it tomorrow. I have a huge meeting today at work with people I’m friends with on FB so I wanted to wait till this was done. I’m so nervous to do it but I’m eager to do it too. 

soehlerk

@msstephanielynn Your story breaks my heart.  I am so sorry you have to go through this.
@fluffybookworm FX for this last cycle.  It's incredibly hard to feel like you're at the end of the road--even though the FTA option is out there, it still definitely feels like a loss.

AFM, this week has been the first spot of solidly good news in a really long time.  The Femara (max dose) was the very last oral medication option on the table--if it didn't work, I had to go on to injectable meds, which terrify me.  When I never got a positive OPK, I got incredibly depressed.  But then they tested my progesterone on Monday, and not only did I ovulate, but my progesterone was at a 9.9--up from a 3.4 last cycle.  #amazeballs

So while I'm stoked that we actually found something that works, I'm a little bummed b/c I've had some light bleeding today.  But I'm not getting too down about it b/c 1) we only DTD once during the FW, so we can't be too surprised that it didn't hit the mark and 2) next cycle we're doing the Femara + an ultrasound to nail down ovulation + an IUI.  I hate hoping...but man, I feel like we have reason to hope.

QOTW: I actually was just bugging my DH about this today--I have a collection of obnoxiously cheap Fall decor (fake leaf garlands, leaf window clings, etc), and DH rearranged the garage, and now I can't find it anywhere.  So this weekend we'll try to track that down.  But my obnoxious Fall decor is nothing compared to Christmas.  We've got fake snowflakes coming out the yingyang. 

SoonToBeMommaHowe

@msstephanielynn I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. I think it's nearly impossible for this process not to change you. IF and pregnancy loss is soooo emotionally draining. Lots of hugs for you  

@fluffybookworm so sorry about your BFN

@soehlerk yay for much better progesterone! Hopefully that one BD was all you needed!

AFM I CD32, but besides boobs being a little sore I have no symptoms and my resting heart rate has been level for over a week. AF should be here this weekend so I guess until the. we'll just keep praying for a miracle. (And enjoying the little miracle we just received....eeek)

*Thank you @GoldenKeys!

QOTW: I LOVE decorating but ever since we moved into our big house last year my decoration collection has been insufficient for the space. BUT when you're saving for IVF the decorations budget gets axed, lol. So we have centerpieces on the tables and island and our mantle is decked out but that's about it. 

hoffmanr7

So I didn't think I would be back again this week but I just couldn't stay away.  The first 1+ month off of trying seemed heavenly.  But now we are 1 month away from our IVF consult and I am finding myself becoming very antsy and impatient.  I blame puppies.....which sounds weird but allow me to clarify. 

A coworker's miniature schnauzers had puppies......and I wanted one sooooooo bad.  Then one of my resident's daughters bought one of the puppies and is always bringing it in and it has the SWEETEST little face ever.  My heart just melts every time she brings her in.  So then I have puppy urges, which turns into baby urges......which leaves me restless and wanting to bang my head on my desk.  There is just no escape.

@funkykey I'm glad your surgery went well
@msstephanielynn I'm glad your surgery went well but sorry you had a rough day.  I agree, I don't think you can go through what you did without it changing you *hugs*
@Worldtravler0522 Good for you!  I think that's so brave to share your story on Facebook!!  I've contemplated it every time Infertility Awareness week comes around but I always punk out.  I've always bee pretty open about our IF problems but posting it on facebook just seems different.
@SoonToBeMommaHowe Congrats! I'm so happy for you

QOTW: I love decorating for fall! I don't have as much as I would like, but my decorating usually consists of leaf garland in the house, and then we put our pumpkins from the garden out front with some dried corn stalks....then October hits and out comes the Halloween decorations

Worldtravler0522

@hoffmanr7 thanks!  I'm not brave enough to post about our infertility yet but one day I plan to share because I think it's important more people speak up so we don't all feel so alone.  

hoffmanr7

@Worldtravler0522 I feel the same way....I always think to myself "Once I'm pregnant, once something finally works....then I will post on facebook about our IF struggle." I think it's the thought of people talking about it/me to other people just freaks me out right now

Worldtravler0522

@hoffmanr7 I completely understand!  I hate the idea of the pity... I shared my story on FB about an hour ago and it was scary but freeing too.  I incredibly proud of myself as lame as that might sound but it's so hard for me to share so publicly.  

soehlerk

@Worldtravler0522 props to you, friend.  I am incredibly encouraged when someone posts about infertility (or other personal struggles).  I try to make a point to message them directly to thank them for their honesty--here's hoping someone does the same for you!

funkykey

@Worldtravler0522 - whooo-hooo!! I don't think it's lame, I think you've been brave!

I saw something in the news the other day - a woman on FB posted about her ovarian cancer symptoms and treatment, and as a result of her post 5 other women caught their cancers and were treated! So huge!

You really never know who will be affected! You might not know it for some time, but chances are you have made at least 1-2 other people feel less alone.

msstephanielynn

@fluffybookworm Sorry for the negative  

@funkykey Thanks. Thankfully feeling better emotionally today. I wonder the same thing. When can I go back to being happy and excited instead of sad and jealous?

@soehlerk Glad things are going well for you! It’s a fresh of breath air when I read good things on this board! Hoping that will be the trick next cycle!

@soontobemommahowe Fingers crossed for you! Do you normally have a longer cycle (+28 days?)

@hoffman7 Sorry that you’re having a rough day. I’m a total dog lover, so can’t you have both? ;-)  I feel the same way about posting about the IF after success. But in reality at that point, I probably won’t want to talk about it, because it will be years of struggle and worry that have come to an end.

@worldtravler0522 I seriously give you all the props for doing that! I’d be interested in reading what you wrote if you’re open to share? 

Worldtravler0522

*TW*

@msstephanielynn sure!  I posted the picture (sorry it is enormous) below along with a small blurb I included below too.

Last year around this time I was experiencing the unimaginable for the second time.  It sadly would not be my last, but that miscarriage was different because a friend’s story popped up on my news feed and it made me feel not so alone during a time that can feel incredibly isolating.  I was in awe of her ability to share so freely about her loss and pain she was experiencing, and a year ago I couldn’t imagine being so honest and open like she was.  One year later I want to share with the world that I have experienced losses over the past 12 months that have shaped me and changed me, but they will not break me. For anyone out there reading this that is or has experienced the agony of a miscarriage, just know that you are not alone, and even though you may not feel like it now, I swear it will get better.

tinabell8

@Worldtravler0522 that was an awesome post and you should feel proud of yourself for posting! It still amazes me how many women are dealing this this and it's so important to have support through all the trauma that comes along with infertility and problems with infertility. @msstephanielynn your story is all too real and broke my heart. I often feel like I'm never going to experience joy and that all of the joy that so many women get to have has been robbed from me and my husband. It really sucks and wish it got easier, but there are times we just need to have those breakdowns. 
@fluffybookworm I am so sorry about you BFN.

I wish I could respond to everyone's threads right now but today sucks and I'm hoping to disconnect a bit. I caved and took a HPT last night and my beta test this morning confirmed negative. So with progesterone, and monitoring with ultrasounds & blood work we are at a stand still. My RE said we will try IUI next month, but really didn't tell me much about the whole process except that we will use Letrozole, so going to email her a load of questions. My husband is usually super positive when things go wrong, but I think this has really hit him now that we're at a year and that's making me feel even worse. This is a hard road to walk. 

Worldtravler0522

@tinabell8 thanks, I'm very glad I did it and about a third of the people that responded actually shared a story about their loss.  I'm sorry to hear about your BFN.    

emmasemm

@Worldtravler0522 very brave post on FB and hope you got positive responses to it

@tinabell8 @fluffybookworm sorry for your BFNs - it's so tough to get them each time

@msstephanielynn @hoffman7 so sorry you are having rough times, please take care of yourselves 

AFM CD4 and getting ready for the follow up with the RE on Thursday to agree on protocol for IVF#2 in November
Otherwise trying to relax, spend time with DH and come down from the rollercoaster of the last weeks

msstephanielynn

@worldtravler0522 That is beautiful! So comforting to know that people responded to you. Thank you for sharing

@tinabell8 All I can hope for is that my mentality changes once the BFP comes around.

@emmasemm Thanks. Enjoy the little break, November will be here before we know it  

mac627

@GoldenKeys can you please change me to unexplained? I’m done testing now. Apparently the low AMH doesn’t match my ultrasound so after testing it 3 times they’re done. And the most recent HSG revealed my tubes are actually not blocked so yay! 

@Worldtravler0522 that’s so awesome that you felt comfortable enough to post! I know whenever I see anything online about IF it makes me feel better about my own situation - knowing others are going through this too. I’m just too private to share that on social media. I’ve only told a handful of people! But I really admire you for saying something!

AFM I just had my beta for IUI #2 and got back a BFN. I’m so disappointed. Everything was going really well so I was feeling really positive, which of course makes the negative worse. Now I just have to wait for AF to start the next cycle. We’ll be doing another round of IUI and then I don’t know what to do! We’re going to start looking into IVF I think. Not excited about it. 

soehlerk

@mac627 So sorry about your BFN.  I'm going in for IUI #2 next week; it must be incredibly frustrating to see your options dwindling.  FX for IUI #3!

mac627

@soehlerk thanks good luck to you too!

amac2313

I'm late on this one but didn't see one for this week yet! 

We were out of town last week on vacation with my whole family. It was so nice to get away, but also very stressful because that was when I would find out if AF was coming or if we were finally going to get our BFP after a round of Clomid.

Round 1 (50mg) of Clomid didn't work. I got in touch with my dr before we left and got the next round so I would have it at the right time. So tomorrow is the last day of taking it and we will see what happens!

QOTW: How do you decorate your house for the fall? I just do a little decorating for fall. A few fake flowers in vases (with candy corn to hide the fake stems, cheap & easy!) and a couple little signs from the dollar section at Target. We do thanksgiving at our house so I like to have some stuff around to make it more festive