December 2017 Moms

Naming baby after someone else

I've run into a issue with the name we've picked for our son.. 
Originally we had picked my brothers name for our sons middle name. However, my brother is in town for a visit and is making me seriously question our choice. I haven't seen this particular sibling in over 6 years and he is completely different from who he was last time we were around each other.
I like the way the name sounds and flows, but do I risk going through with it and possibly regret it later?
Then there's the question of, naming a child after someone else, are you wishing that child takes on the qualities of the person? Or hoping to emulate the morals or traits of the person?

Re: Naming baby after someone else

  • I'm naming this LO after DH's grandfather (who passed away) and my father's name will be LO middle name. That one is a family name that has been passed down for generations. I think it would be hard to do it with a living relative that I don't see that much because I would be worried about this same situation you have. If you love the name, maybe you can just keep it because you like it. 
  • You dont have to lose the name just because its a sibling or family member. If you like it and enjoy it then i would keep it. You dont have to make it known that its after a person unless you want to. You can simply say you like the flow better than any other name. Also, just because people have the same name does not mean they will be alike or you hope they will be alike. So, if you love it then i would keep it :-)
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  • My two cents:
    I tend to think that using family names can be a very tricky thing. My cousin used a family name, Ames, as her son's first name. What she doesn't know and no one is going to tell her, is that Grandma Ames wasn't a good person AND never recognized this cousin as kin because she was conceived out of wedlock. So, my cousin has named her son after a family member that was not only generally a bad person, was was specifically nasty about/to my cousin (which my
    cousin was too young to remember & was shielded from). We also recently found out that Ames isn't really a family name... my great-great-grandfather changed his name in the 1880s from a very Jewish name to Ames.  I tend to think that unless you really know the history and the person, it's better to start the kid off fresh, to be their own person.
    I also don't care at all about middle name flow; our kid(s) will all have my last name as their middle name & DH's last name as their last name, so long as first & last flow, I am happy. 
  • We named DD after my husband's grandmother who had passed away a few years ago. Everyone loved her and it felt like an honor to be able to use her name. Her middle name is my mom's name. I like the idea of naming after loved ones, but I would do it only if the loved one in question is a great person worthy of the honor!!! Otherwise, the situation like @Amber_Waves described could be awkward...

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  • @Amber_Waves your sweet cousin, oh man.
    DD is named after my Grandma who passed, her middle name is DH's Grandma's name who just recently passed. Gram loved that DD's MN was hers. DS will have the same first name as DH. Now it is what it is, I think we have a strong relationship, but knowing that the divorce rate is rather high I always wonder if it's a good idea. 
    @eazybreezy225 As for naming them after your brother, if you like the name you like the name. Is it an uncommon name, where it'd definitely be known it was after your brother? 
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  • We are struggling with this too.  DH's fam is HUGE into family names, but they don't really seem to care if it's a relative they knew particularly well-- just want to be able to say it's a family name.  So, I don't really understand their motivation.  All the female relatives we are closer to have either really boring/common names or their names are so weird we'd never consider it.  I'd say though if your brothers name isn't terribly unique, you can still use it for DS, @eazybreezy225, since people probably wouldn't automatically assume it was after your bro if it is more common. 
  • If you're having second thoughts about it right now, I'd have another name as a backup just in case. You never know how you'll feel in 8-10 weeks. 

    My mil is digging and coming up with weird justifications as to why we're naming DD2 what we've picked. She's come up with "oh, her middle name starts with the same letter as her grandmas' first name and middle name, and her uncle on her daddy's side started with the same letter". No. that's not even close. Lol. 

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