Getting married next month

mirandaritchie

Hi Everyone!

My fiance and I just found out we are about 4weeks pregnant. This is my 2nd pregnancy  (had a miscarriage in 2010). I told him we should start trying early as it normally takes a few months of trying and naturally we conceived right away.

 Our wedding is next month on October 14. What is everyone's thoughts of us announcing the pregnancy at the wedding? Both of our families don't live in the same city as we do so I think it'll be wonderful to share the news with everyone at the same time and having a photographer and videographer there to capture the moment but my fiance is hesitant. 

Thanks for any advice and congrats to all

sandbar517

I don't think any of us can answer that question better than you can.  Will your parents or close family members/friends be disappointed that they didn't know first?  What is making your fiance hesitant?  Overall, I don't think it's a terrible idea, as your wedding day is a day to celebrate the love you two have for each other and the two of you becoming a family.  But if your fiance isn't comfortable with it, it's probably not a good idea. 

If you're going to stick around and be a part of our community, which I hope you do, please read the **Read this first** post at the top of the page, introduce yourself, and please change your screen name so tagging you and remembering you is a lot easier.  Congratulations and welcome!

mirandaritchie

Thabks @sandbar517. Im pretty new to these boards. I think he's mostly scared of letting everyone know before we hit 12 weeks in case something goes wrong. We will be about 8 weeks at the time of the wedding. I also should have clarified that we will tell immediate family in person before we have a big announcement

Ceridwen77

mirandaritchie said:

Thabks @sandbar517. Im pretty new to these boards. I think he's mostly scared of letting everyone know before we hit 12 weeks in case something goes wrong. We will be about 8 weeks at the time of the wedding. I also should have clarified that we will tell immediate family in person before we have a big announcement

If that is your fiance's biggest concern, maybe you could schedule your first US with your OB before your wedding.  The heart beat can typically be detected around 6-7 weeks in an US, and once a heartbeat is seen, it drastically reduces the chance of miscarriage.

If your OB is not flexible, you could always pay for one at a boutique place.  

sandbar517

There aren't any specific threads dedicated to when we're all planning on telling people, but it's obviously a topic that comes up a lot.  Again, it's a very personal decision.  Some people do feel better waiting until later in the pregnancy, but other people feel like telling the same people you would lean on if something does happen to go wrong is the better way to go.  Join in some of the daily threads, there's a lot of good discussion and advice given there!

Pearlvirus

I lived this, almost exactly in 2013, lol.... Our wedding is in a month, what if we just stop preventing, I'm sure it will take a while to actually work... nope, pregnant immediately! I was only 6 weeks at our wedding and I didn't say anything to anyone. Though I'm not sure I could have faked feeling good by 8 weeks. I personally liked the separation. Let the celebration be purely a wedding and not turn into an impromptu baby shower. And what if you announce and lose the baby, do you want that hanging over your wedding forever?

tincupchalice

Most boutique places won't do a super early ultrasound.

In any case, I personally have no problem announcing early.  However, I think in this situation, I would still want my wedding day to be all about me and my spouse, not the baby.  Let's face it, very soon nothing will ever be just about you two again, so I would personally enjoy it while it lasts.

kpc914

I'm with @tincupchalice I like the idea of having the wedding be just about you two. And honestly, how special for you two to have your own little secret during the day? That being said, if you decide that sharing on your wedding day is more your style, you go for it!

christycalifornia

I don't have any other advice than what's been given, I just wanted to say congratulations on your wedding and your baby! That's a lot of exciting changes all at once! I get wanting to tell people, I was SO ANXIOUS to tell everyone the first time around! Whatever you decide I hope your day is special and wonderful. 

suchaglencoco

It's a very personal decision that you 2 will have to go back and forth on until the big day. If you aren't sure if you want everyone to know before the end of first trimester, then there's your answer.
Personally, we only tell immediate family after our first u/s and then everyone else after 12 weeks. I am very comfortable *tw* discussing our losses with others, but always want to have time privately to process without everyone I know being aware. *end tw*
I do want to say be very careful with boutique places. They can be great and get amazing photos and videos, but they are not doctors so if something doesn't look right to them it can cause a lot of emotional anguish and stress until you see your OB that may be unnecessary. I have heard great things about some boutique places, but there are always exceptions.

Good luck with your wedding!

Ceridwen77

tincupchalice said:

Most boutique places won't do a super early ultrasound.

Interesting! I know nothing about boutique ultrasound places, but saw in the pinned ultrasound thread that someone got an early one at a boutique. 

heelsidehero

My cousin was in a similar situation. They weren't ready to tell everyone at the wedding (close family new) so they took some private photos of them in their wedding attire showcasing the baby (pre-bump).  Her husband holding her belly, kissing it, etc. They turned out great.

tincupchalice

Ceridwen77 said: 

tincupchalice said:

Most boutique places won't do a super early ultrasound.

Interesting! I know nothing about boutique ultrasound places, but saw in the pinned ultrasound thread that someone got an early one at a boutique. 

I'm sure some will but all the ones I've ever seen require you to be under a Dr care and have already had a ultrasound through your Dr to confirm pregnancy.