UO Thursday 9/21

breezybee

MJDsquared

I exclusively wear thongs and think they're way more comfortable than other underwear.

I do own other kinds which are pretty much used as period panties. (Also, I think I already used this UO here, but as the previous sentence suggests, I don't hate the word 'panties' like many people do.)

breezybee

Haha Same @MJDsquared. I think it's bizarre that people wear full butt underwear out of the house. I only wear that to sleep in!

breezybee

Follow up:
I HATE it when people use the term "time to put your big girl panties on..."

elcd458

Opposite here. Wouldn't wear a thong if you paid me.  I've always speculated it's an anatomy thing, though? Like, my ass is super high and wide and thongs as a result feel like they are going to split me in half.  Huge wide ass also makes for tight pants and I hate the feeling of the denim against my skin in that area *shudder* 

My UO this week is that I think bad weather is cool.  Hurricanes, tornadoes, whatever.  I'm into it and find it fascinating.  I don't like that people experience hardship after a weather event, but I definitely think I'll be that person that gets sucked into a funnel cloud one day because I looked too closely.  I get disappointed when they predict a thunderstorm for my area and we don't get one!

MJDsquared

@breezybee Agree on that term! Also, I don't know if anyone remembers this, but the 'modern day' version of that term a while ago was like, "Throw your hair in a messy bun, put on some gangsta rap and handle it!" and it was meme'd super hard everywhere and people thought it was hilarious and it makes me cringe so hard. Lol.

@elcd458 I LOVE thunderstorms! I used to love when the power would go out but now being an adult I have anxiety about food spoiling haha. But if the power doesn't go out for too long, I'm super into it!

peachy13

On the topic of undies, I hate wearing them to bed. I think everything should breathe at night. DH wears underwear and socks to bed which I find insane.

cait5413

@breezybee haha I am definitely a full-coverage underwear gal, but I often don't wear ANY undies to sleep in. 

Tennis11785

Oh I'm team thongs all the time. Although lately I've had a couple days where they have bugged my bum, so I've been trying to rotate. Although the likely reason is I need to buy then in a large size... 

elcd458

I thought of another one thanks to a ScaryMommy post I just saw on FB.  

My more controversial UO today is that I have recently discovered I have an objection/aversion to public BFing if you are doing it somewhere that's supposed to be quiet and you have a baby that's a loud AF eater.  TBH, I really don't care if people BF out in the open even though I wouldn't do it, and I'd say the majority of the time I never even notice when it's happening around me.  But twice lately I've been with someone somewhere suuuuper quiet (in a class) while feeding and their child loudly and violently gulped/choked/gasped for air about every 2 seconds and I had about 100 heart attacks thinking I needed to start CPR on the kiddo. Mom was unphased but I can't help but think that can't be normal?!!! 

FYI the ScaryMommy post was about a bride who enclosed a note in her wedding invitations that breastfeeding guests should excuse themselves to the ladies' room.  That's tacky as hell as a general rule (why not just say no kids invited?), but I couldn't help but think that if that gaspy gulpy baby-chokes-a-lot was making all that ruckus during my wedding vows, I'd be pissed.  

dkizz82

peachy13 said:

On the topic of undies, I hate wearing them to bed. I think everything should breathe at night. DH wears underwear and socks to bed which I find insane.

I sleep nude so I'm with ya on the no undies in bed. 

txmomma16

On the panty/underwear debate, I think I am somewhere in the middle. I wear thongs with tight pants to avoid lines, but I wear full butt underwear as @breezybee called them to be comfortable. 

As for sleeping - I usually only wear underwear to bed. 

@elcd458 I am fascinated by natural disasters, but I am also terrified. I live in the southern tip of tornado alley, and we get awful hail storms down here. About a year and a half ago we got a hail storm that destroyed my house to the tune of $60k in damage. I am fascinated watching hurricanes and tornadoes, but after everything I went through with the hail storm, I have a healthy respect for storm damage and a high level of empathy for those that have to rebuild when the damage is done. 

My UO is that I get frustrated by women that push for a natural birth no matter the reason. I have the utmost respect for those that give birth naturally, but I sometimes feel that those that go that route hold it up like a badge of honor over those that have medicated births, or c-sections. I medically have to have a c-section for my own health, and I still have gotten remarks from other mom's about how I'm missing out on the joy of birth, or somehow I'm not "giving birth" because my baby will come out of my belly through an incision. It's unfair. Particularly because it shouldn't matter that I have to have a c-section, I shouldn't have to deal with comments like that even if I chose a c-section. Giving birth is an intensely personal thing and I don't understand why one woman's ideal should be held up as the "right way" when the end goal is always the same: healthy mommy/healthy baby. 

MJDsquared

@txmomma16 Preach! I feel the exact same way. I don't have any medical reason that I'll for sure have a c-section at this point, but I've always known I wanted an epidural. I don't feel like that makes me any less than a woman who opts to go unmedicated. I feel like there are a lot of holier-than-thou views surrounding childbirth and parenting...some of which I've even seen on this site.

Also, no idea if this is a UO, but I know there are tons of reasons why women want an unmedicated birth and I get that. But if the reason a woman doesn't want an epidural is solely because she "doesn't want her baby to be born cracked out" I roll my eyes so hard. That's on the anti-vax level of ridiculous to me. Also, again, basically saying that any woman who does get an epidural is drugging out their baby.

mdcd44127

@txmomma16...


I will never understand how 9 months (more or less) of carrying a baby is somehow "negated" because of the way you deliver. I personally am all for drugs and medical intervention (there's my UO, I guess), but I would never judge someone who chooses natural/home/tub/forest floor/backseat of the car/strapped to a spaceship birth. Whatever works for you is what matters. And delivery is such a short period of time compared to the amount of time spent gestating & then raising the child, who really gives a shit how exactly the baby exited your body?!

ETA: @MJDsquared Yesss, I want to get myself two extra epidurals for each person who makes a dumb comment about the "baby being drugged out" by it. That's not how it works, people.

babytimeagain

Agree with all of you. No shame- bring on the epidurals! No shade on those who want to go pain med-free, but I have no desire to go through that myself. C-section or otherwise, there should be no guilt- what matters is a healthy baby and mother.

breezybee

Give me allllllllll the drugs

txmomma16

@MJDSquared I feel like the "doesn't want her baby to be born cracked out" crowd are probably the same people that have told me they could never have surgery "because the baby would be too drugged." Immediately after I tell them that I had emergency surgery at 19 weeks for an ovarian tumor that was 12 cm in diameter... 

Umm. No. You would. Because the alternative is 10 out of 10 level pain, probably leading to organ death, sepsis, and possibly death for you and your baby. I had surgery to save my baby and I. Both of us. I would do it again in a heartbeat because that's what is best for me AND my child. 

elcd458

YES.  I have an ovarian tumor/blob/UFO that wasn't successfully removed or biopsied a year ago, and am considering a semi-elective CS so I can accomplish two goals with one hospital bill.  MIL is completely scandalized.  There's a 1-2% chance I might find out I have ovarian cancer within 24 hours of childbirth but sure, lady, tell me more about your opinions on why CS, of which you have had none, are "awful."  My deductible and I bid you adieu. 

txmomma16

@elcd458 Ugh! Hugs. I found out yesterday that either my surgeon did not get all of the tumor, or I have another one growing. The initial tumor was thankfully non-cancerous, but the doctor said because of the recurrance, I will be losing my ovary. I already had to have a C, but this is one extra reason because they will now be pulling my entire ovary. 

Thankfully my MIL has been supportive of the C. It's my step-mom, and her entire family that are the ones side-eyeing my upcoming C. I have five cousins that have given birth within the last five years, and all of them had "glorious" unmediated natural births. And good for them. Honestly. That is what they wanted, and I'm glad it worked for them. My only birth plan is healthy baby, the best chance of that is with a C, and I don't understand why they would look down on that, but they do. 

Sorry, I just totally took over this thread with my own rants, but it's been really frustrating me that I am somehow "less" of a woman/mom because my health requires a different birth method. 

elcd458

@txmomma16  I totally understand! At my laparoscopy last year they ended up removing a corpus luteum cyst because I must've ovulated right before surgery, and didn't get ANY of the thing they were after (which is apparently encapsulated inside my ovary and therefore why they didn't see it even though it's very clear on the ultrasound).  So I'll probably be -1 ovary too eventually.  I mean, I know I can probably have a vaginal delivery and then go for a second laparoscopy a few months later, but that just sounds crappy.  Especially since a CS won't require general anesthesia which I apparently react poorly to (I like to fight nurses and pull my IV out and bleed on everyone, allegedly).  Meh.

failuretofly

My UO is I dont get why so many people get SO excited about the sex of my baby. +/- why they think 1 boy and 1 girl is 'the perfect family'. I've never been concerned with having "one of each" and am starting to get super fucking annoyed with people getting all jacked about this baby being a girl because DS is a boy. I still want another (or two) regardless of this baby's genitals, so why to randoms seem to care so much?

Piccola1988

YES to so much of this!  

Definitely agree on the thongs!  Full underwear always gives me giant wedgies so I refuse to wear them...and don't even get me started on boy shorts.

I absolutely 100% want an epidural and intend to deliver my baby however will get him out most safely, whether that's vaginally or via c-section.  I have zero patience for anybody on a high horse about "natural" delivery.  I know someone like this - she's due in November and it drives me bonkers when she insists on a natural birth.  She was appalled to hear that a friend of mine was scheduled for a c-section because her baby was breach.  Um ok...  

skc040512

Shout out to the no shame medicated birth supporters. Literally the only reason I didn't have to go for an emergency c section with DD is because I got an epidural. Long story short, my water broke and I never went into labor, so I was induced. I was around 21 hours after my water broke when I told the nurse I needed an epidural to sleep so I could hopefully push later (I was still only 4cm). Even if I had to go into a CS, I'd need the drugs then, too so why not? Literally 30 minutes after I got the epidural, I was fully dialated and pushing. Pushed for 12 minutes and there she was!
TL;DR - some women, especially those who have to be induced, need an epidural to relax their bodies enough to actually fully dialate.

wabash15

@txmomma16 I am so sorry people are "mom shaming" you already. With my twins I was hoping for an unmedicated birth but due to positioning and size we had a scheduled C-section. It was still a glorious moment/experience. It really does come down to wanting a healthy mom and baby.  I'm sorry your mass is returning. you are such a trooper. 

as for the underwear debate I wear both, though at this point more coverage is a bit more comfortable. I also used to sleep in the buff but when pregnant with the twins the boobs got so large they needed support at night too, so now its a nursing top and underwear. 

whiska

I also think about the moms who really wanted to go unmedicated, or maybe medicated vaginal, but for a thousand possible reasons they didn't get the birth they wanted and had to go another route.  What is this attitude about ranking methods of birth saying to those women?  Some might already be feeling some disappointment/guilt/shame around their experience so how about we don't pile on as a society??

My UO is that I've seen a lot of baby clothes lately that say things like "history maker" or "going to change the world" and I really can't help but roll my eyes.  There's a high likelihood that almost all kids will be pretty average and lead pretty average lives as adults.  Our generation is blamed for being special snowflakes and wanting participation trophies for everything, when it was our parents who couldn't deal with the insecurity of a less-than-perfect child; I can't help but think this push for "empowerment" is just a rehash of this mistake by our parents...  Not to mention there's gads of research that just telling kids that they're special is actually pretty defeating.

ngarciabyu

In the undies department I'm either in bikini cut or boy shorts. Just what I'm most comfortable with.

and I agree with the medicated birth thing. I had DS1 unmedicated and DS2 medicated. Yeah I'll take an epidural any day. i actually quiver at the thought of not having one again. My birth plan is pretty simple. Get baby here safe, and give me an epidural when I ask lol. so really it doesn't bother me when people frown on medicated births, both my boys came out healthy and screaming, only I was more coherent after the medicated birth. And for me, that's what I prefer.

failuretofly

Okay after scrolling through Facebook I've got another one. 
I think the mom who chose her pregnancy over chemo chose wrong. 
She has FIVE OTHER CHILDREN who are now motherless and the baby didn't even survive. 
Here's the story:
https://glbn.ca/zS4VuT

casace

@failuretofly I read another article saying she basically got a death sentence diagnosis and a few days later found out she was pregnant. I had the same immediate thought you had until I read that part. Who knows what the circumstances really were. But it's sad either way. 

MJDsquared

@failuretofly I had the same reaction when I saw the article. If she was for sure going to die no matter what like @casace said I can see why she'd make the choice she did, but since chemo was an option I just assumed there was a chance of survival.

casace

@MJDsquared it says experimental chemo meaning she was probably given an option of okay you're going to die in 6 months but we can try this but it's still experimental so we have no idea if it's just going to make you completely miserable the last few months you have instead of enjoying it with your family. Its crappyx Just wish all news stations reported the same accurate facts. Like the article I read made it sound like she had no hope as opposed to this one made it into a decision based on religious beliefs, not what doctors told her. 

Mandayno

Alright so in the panties department, I have to have a thong if its tight pants but I have to have my regular cottons for comfort on a normal basis. I can't sleep completely naked, it just does NOT feel comfortable. DH always trys to get me to, but I think he has ulterior motives! 

I am also all for giving me all the drugs for delivery. Bless those that don't need it, but lord as soon as I can have that epidural, drill it in there! 

Ok, so here is my super controversial UO....Along the lines of the chemo mom, my UO is that I support those who choose Death with Dignity or the Right to Die. I am in no way, shape, or form supporting general suicide; but I am talking about those patients who are so terminal and have such a decrease in life function that they are no longer able to be themselves. Such as the case with Brittany Maynard a few years back who had brain cancer. She knew she was so terminal, and she wanted to be able to choose death before she basically became a vegetable. I feel that people should have the right to choose in those SEVERE cases, who want to maintain their dignity. I have seen so many patients on each end of the spectrum of these diseases, that it is disheartening to know where the end of their lives end up. I think they should be able to have some form of control over their lives. I do feel there is a lot that needs to go into this first such as ensuring that they are completely educated about their prognosis, their disease, and all their options first.


Edited because I can't spell as usual!

MJDsquared

@mandayno 100% agree on death with dignity. One of my brother's best friends from college was really good friends with Brittany Maynard and it was super emotional when she posted pictures from her wedding and stuff. Reading the comment sections on articles about her was awful. People can be really hateful and judgmental.

Mandayno

@MJDsquared I am sorry for this friend's loss. Of course I in no form knew her, but I can't imagine the emotions that all of her friends and family went through. She seemed like a really amazing, strong woman! On a bright side, I do think that her death brought a lot of light and attention to the subject. I was very proud of her for strength through all of it! 

failuretofly

@Mandayno oh man. Don't even get me started. I am totally with you! I've seen the aftermath of some people have been denied this option and trying to figure out ways to accomplish it on their own. It can be SO SO sad. 

casace

@Mandayno i am 100% with you on the panty choice, epidural and on the mom! 

txmomma16

@mandayno I am totally with you on Death with Dignity. It is definitely a UO where I live in TX, but the Brittany Maynard story definitely opened up the discussion for people that had previously been adamant that they were completely against it. Her strength in her final months with sharing her story was incredible. 

ameliabedelia-2

@failuretofly, the cancer she was diagnosed with is terminal (like within months, not years). The chemo was more about potentially extending her life, not saving it. They're also a very religious family which played a role in their decision. I think this is one of those decisions you probably couldn't understand unless you were going through it. I only have one child, but had I been diagnosed with something while pregnant with this one, I don't know if I could have terminated just on the grounds that I might get a few extra months with her. 

failuretofly

@ameliabedelia-2 ya I read a different story about her this morning, and I didn't realize she had glioblastoma which is basically fatal in all cases, i dont think anyone survives it. And it looks like they attempted surgery multiple times. Just goes to show that the media will manipulate any story to make it sound as dramatic and controversial as possible. 

maddilatti

+1 for death with dignity. 

My my older cousin battled breast cancer last year and it matastasized into an extremely rare form of cancer that attacked her nerve endings, essentially causing her to be paralyzed and unable to speak or communicate. Keep in mind this woman had a fully functioning, and HIGHLY intelligent brain. (She served as a member of the Cherokee Tribal Council for 8 years previous to this diagnosis. it would be equivalent to senators for the Cherokee tribe.) So basically she was in immeasurable amounts of pain, completely helpless, and literally laying in a decaying state all while having a fully functioning mind just waiting to die. If she soiled herself, she knew, and had to wait to have someone notice to change her. I can't imagine what that would be like. And you cannot say what you would do in that situation until you have lived it or saw it with your own eyes, because I guarantee no one would want their family member to live like that. 

Mandayno

@maddilatti I am so sorry about your cousin! It's unimagined what she went through!!! It's stories like that why I am a true believer in death with dignity. When someone can completely understand that their body is failing them, but of good sounds judgement to make that choice for themselves. My heart just goes out to all of them and their families!!