Circumcision

andipandicWed121369

I got a bunch of info from my OBGYN about circumcising in the hopes that it would help me decide.  I am still torn.  I don't want to do an unnecessary surgery but it does say that he will have increased odds of cancer or giving a girl cervical cancer if he isn't circumcised.   Help me decide please? 

(I'm sorry if this is a repeat discussion.  I couldn't find anything so started the thread)

rainbowdashh

Increased odds of cancer and increased odds of giving a girl cervical cancer are new ones I've never heard.

As for us, we are not circumcising. I don't see a need so we just aren't. One of my friends didn't circumcise her son when her insurance said it was cosmetic and was going to cost $500 lol.

rainbowdashh

In the end though, it's a personal choice. There can be complications either way. I have a friend whose son had to have a second procedure done at four years old and another friend whose son ended up needing to be circumcised when he was two or three (can't remember his age at the time). 

eazybreezy225

Nope, not circumcising our son.
Most of those claims are laughable. The "increased" chances of cancer are still so incredibly minimal it's certainly not worth genital mutilation.
You're more likely to get cancer from processed foods too.

abcola

DH and I are Jewish so there isn't really a question of if we will circumcise. I do know that the American Pediatrics board does say that it is not a necessary procedure which is why many insurance companies don't cover it. I do know that Dr's say it helps hygiene and also can prevent the spread of HPV (that's the cervical cancer part) but anyone can spread HPV. Some fathers want their sons to be circumcised if they themselves were so maybe talk with DH about his thoughts. Back in the 70's everyone was because Dr's thought it was better, but nowadays more people opt out of it. I think these days it's a matter of preference. That being said we will be circumcising and I have no second thought about it. 

rainbowdashh

I agree that the reasons to do it just don't resonate with me. I think in a lot of places on the US it's becoming less and less common. 

wabash15

@andipandicWed121369 this is a super personal decision and I'm not sure we can help you decide. I would sit down with your DH and go over the research. See what is important to you and what isn't. 

kyrwyn

The papers I've read are pretty split on whether there's any benefit from circumcision to long-term health or hygiene. There's not enough compelling, clear evidence on either side for it to be a clear-cut choice for us either way -- at least based on science. We also don't have any religious reasons to circumcise our LO.  DH feels strongly that circumcision is akin to genital mutilation (which is an extreme stance to take in my book), and since his feelings are so very clear I am deferring to him. 

I don't have the supporting papers to share, but my general science notes (from having read them in the past) regarding circumcision & cancer or HPV/HIV/etc are:

• Penile cancer has a very low incidence in males without phimosis (the inability to retract the foreskin), and circumcision may be protective against penile cancer for males with phimosis.  
• Teaching our son about safe sex and STDs (STIs) will do more to influence his chances of contracting/transmitting HPV than circumcision.  
• Studies showing protective results against STI transmission are often from areas with extremely high disease incidence rates and diminished access to sanitation, sexual health education or barrier-based contraceptives.

TL;DR: You can find arguments for and against all over scholarly papers on PubMed -- but read the studies carefully. =\

andipandicWed121369

Thanks everyone.  DH and I definitely have talked about it, a lot.  We both are very much on the fence and I totally agree that we'll need to decide what's best for us.  It just really helps to hear how other people came to their decision!  

failuretofly

We had DS circumcised and would again should we have another son down the road. Being an RN and witnessing how traumatic older-age circumcision, phimosis and ballanitis (infection of the foreskin) can be plus the scientific split made it an easy decision for me. That's just my 2 cents!

That being said, for those of you who do not circ, please DO NOT attempt to retract your baby's foreskin! It does not become retractile until they are older and can get stuck!

Marley629

While we do choose to circumcise, I have never heard claims about increased risk of cancer as one of the reasons. That being said, it's an incredibly personal decision. I would say just weigh all the pros and cons, speak to the pediatrician about it and make an informed decision for what's best for you guys.  

dkizz82

This is such a personal decision. We said if we had a boy we would but luckily it's been 2 girls and I haven't really had to decide. These are also new to me. Never heard these risks. Good luck with your decision. I know it's difficult. 

oldersis

I was really torn about this, particularly because I have one of the breast cancer gene mutations (think Angelina Jolie), had breast cancer and fought really hard to keep all my lady parts. It felt hypocritical to decide on circumsion for my son. My husband was SUPER determined though. Eventually we decided to do it, but our debate was intense enough that my Jewish midwife went home and told her husband that after hearing us discuss it, she regrets circumciaing her boys.

elev2017

I'm Jewish and we will be raising our twins Jewish, so we plan to have our son circumcized; however, I do feel somewhat conflicted about it. 

ameliabedelia-2

I don't want to do it, but DH is super adamant we have it done.  I think I will let him make the decision since it's his son and it obviously matters to him so much....but I am not happy about it. 

cait5413

If we had a boy, I'd let DH make the call. 

elcd458

I just wanted to toss in the conversation that in some rare cases you may have to delay the procedure and/or choose to have circumcision done for medical reasons when you weren't planning on it, so just be aware that you could encounter something unforeseen.  A friend's DS was born with penoscrotal webbing which required what was essentially a circ as a medical necessity, but had to do it when he was ~6 mos old under sedation.  

In general, you can delay a decision for your child if you aren't ready at the hospital, but again it would require sedation and be a little more risky/painful later on (and more expensive due to anesthesia and specialist charges due to seeing pediatric urology).  At the hospital it's a 5 minute procedure, baby cries for a split second, gets Tylenol, has a good snuggle and a snooze, all is well. 

whiska

I'm just going to say H and I are on opposite sides on this one, and I sympathize with others here where you and your SO have differing opinions.  Still lots to talk about for us!  

Mandayno

I too agree that it's a very personal decision. Being in the medical field I too have seen some patients that have had to have it done at a later age due to problems, one in particular was 16 years old, and it was a lot more difficult at the older age. With that said though, there are probably equally happy men with and without it! This too is a decision that I left up to DH, since he is more of an expert in the penile area. 

SierraGood

I also letting my hubby take lead on this topic cause I don't have a penis and I feel like he's would understand it better. But also my cousin wasn't circumcised and tried to clip his foreskin with a pair of scissors when he was 3 because he didn't like the way it looked ..... 

Piccola1988

We are absolutely circumcising.  It was barely a discussion for us.  If it alleviates even small risks then we're happy to do it.

ETA:  It is of course a very personal choice and I'm not advocating either way - that's just how we feel.

blueskies17

This is definitely a personal choice and no right or wrong decision IMO. I am for circumcision, but would leave it up to my husband if he disagreed since he's the one with the same equipment. He is Jewish so we are definitely getting our LO circumcised. 

collectiveliving

Definitely a very personal decision.

We're Jewish, and team green, and if it's a boy, we definitely will definitely not circumcise.

We have other Jewish friends with boys who also haven't circumcised- the oldest I know of are in their teens, and very actively involved in our local Jewish community.

FakeFinn

I live in a country where circumcision at birth isn't the norm, so I thought I'd share. Here circumcision isn't offered by hospitals after birth. Circumcision only happens when medically necessary (unless you are Jewish). I live in The Netherlands, we practise good hygiene and a lower risk of certain types of cancer (this is the first time I'm hearing about it) isn't brought up as a reason to circumcise. I know the debate on your side of the pond can be quite heated, but here it's really a non-issue. 

Good luck deciding!

wabash15

So as @elcd458 the decision may not be so simple.... I was in the non-circumcision camp but DH really wanted DS circumcised. Since it was so important to him and he's the guy I left the final word up to him. At the time of the circumcision the ped was uncomfortable with the conformation of DS's penis (it had a very slight curve) and did not want to do the procedure then. We were scheduled a week later with a pediatric urologist to have it done as an outpatient procedure. I had a conflict with the appointment and had to reschedule. By the time we were able to get another appointment with the urologist DS was 1 month old and too old to have it done as an office procedure but too young to risk the general anesthesia to have it done surgically. The urologist recommended we wait till he was ~12 months old to schedule the procedure. DH and I discussed it and decided it was not worth an anesthetic and formal surgery so we never did the procedure. If this one is a boy we will not circumcise. 

ngarciabyu

Agree with everyone that said it is a personal decision. I did NOT want to circ my two sons. Our kids generation isn't like ours, or the one before us where every guy in the locker room is going to be circ'd. So really the social aspect of it didn't appeal to me. And really the medical reason for and against were not compelling to me to want to do it. BUT, like some of the ladies on here, my DH was like absolutely, 100%, our boys are getting circumcised. So I respected his decision even though I wasn't the most comfortable with it. I don't regret it, I just wouldn't have done it if the decision was 100% mine to make. 

Amber_Waves

DH and I both started out rather neutral on the subject and after doing some research we independently concluded that we would prefer not to circumcise our son (if we have a son #teamgreen).  DH is circumcised, a fact that I find rather surprising size he was very ill as an newborn...I can't believe his doctors/parents performed elective cosmetic surgery on a baby who was struggling to survive!

One thing that weighed on me while deciding is that my child's sexual pleasure may be compromised by the removal of his foreskin.  That's a big one for me. Only the best orgasms for my boy.  Ha.  Another big one is that while it is a personal decision, I think that the person who should make the decision is my son, not me; while the decision is temporarily in my hands, one answer gives him options, and the other doesn't.

darkfyre

So for everyone using the argument that they may need it later when it is more traumatic I give you this. In the last 5 yrs I've known 2 adult friends that needed their tonsils removed due to chronic infection. This is very traumatic surgery as an adult, the possibility of life threatening complications are much higher than in kids. Does this mean my 5 yo should have his out? Ummm...no. And even if we wanted to no surgeon would do it on ethical grounds. Think about it.

elcd458

Has anyone been to https://thecircumcisiondecision.com ?
Good unbiased resource for all points being made here.  I think they have a book or guide of some sort for sale but most of the info is on the site. 

@darkfyre I hope my previous anecdote was not misunderstood. I was only trying to convey that there is a small chance that someone on here's DS will be born with an anatomical issue that will cause a circumcision to be absolutely medically necessary when you weren't anticipating having it done at all, and one should be aware of that possibility (and that it may need to be done ASAP, perhaps under care of a urology specialist instead of at the hospital, in order to avoid surgery under general anaesthesia after around 6 months old).  

It probably goes without saying but I would like to remind everyone that there are huge differences in male vs. female circumcision and to please not make decisions regarding male circumcision based on information you receive about female circumcision as this is a total apples to oranges comparison. There are reasons, after all, why one is illegal and one is not.  The notion that removal of the foreskin decreases sexual pleasure for males is largely based on myth and one main published study of flawed design: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.livescience.com/27769-does-circumcision-reduce-sexual-pleasure.html
Whereas female genital mutilation is essentially for the very purpose of decreasing sexual satisfaction and wielding control over female sexual experiences in cultures that have oppressive views towards females.  

Overall I think there is enough information out there where any of us, no matter our decision, should be able to stand 100% confident in the choice we make for our children.  Hell, the whole reason it's controversial is because there is just as much evidence (or lack thereof) that it is definitely positive as there is the opposite. Whatever you decide you can find valid support for that choice and really shouldn't lose sleep over it.

darkfyre

@elcd458 it wasn't yours specifically. This is a very common argument and yours was phrased better than many. I just think 'just in case' is a terrible reason to perform permanent surgical alterations to another human. In my opinion bodily autonomy is a human right regardless of age.

casace

We got my son circumcised at the hospital right after birth and plan on doing it with this one. My husband is and to me it was a given. His sons from his previous marriage aren't which I guess was her decision. To me I defer that one more to my husband since he actually has a penis. But honestly what really made me go for it was the amount of times my I heard my husband yell to the youngest step son "did you pull your skin back? Did you clean your wiener?". I couldn't imagine listening to that ever again. It was way too much for me...but that was my first intro to having boys (grew up in a house of all girls) so in retrospect maybe it was just a little too overwhelming