WTF Wednesday 9/13

babybro218

Sorry to jump the gun on this, but my WTF came before 8am today...  A gossipy co-worker (we actually nicknamed her "Scoops") approached me in the hallway, put her hands on my shoulders, and asked me if I was making my mother a grandmother.  My whole plan to ask, "Why?  Do I look fat?" went out the window.  I tried walking away, but she held me in place.  Without making eye-contact, I told her that if I was, I would tell her when I was ready to tell people.  WTF??  I understand that people may just be excited for me,  but why can't they respect my privacy???  Grrrr.....

precious88

@babybro218 I just got a flashback of Martha Huber from Desperate Housewives.

What a crazy! She needs to butt out of your life and take her dirty gossiping hands off you.

corcola

@babybro218 that is definitely a WTF moment. Sometimes my best comebacks go out the window because I get so caught off guard by someone. She shouldn't have cornered you like that or been holding you in place. You handled it well though, despite her aggressiveness. 

clc515

@babybro218 First of all, I don't like it when people I don't know/like feel like it's okay to touch me. Then to throw on that comment on top of that? Well done for not smacking her!

winnie1122

@babybro218 Ugh that annoys me. If people ask me before I'm ready to tell I have no problem lying. I just tell them no or ask why they think I'm pregnant so they back off. Not that I'm generally cool with lying but when it's none of their business and there's no other way out, that's what I do. Once I do tell people I just say 'sorry but I wasn't ready to tell when you asked'. I don't like being pushed to tell before I'm ready! Good for you being nice about it though!

magnolia305

@babybro218 Even though your comeback went out the window--I am proud of you for being a bit snarky towards your crappy coworker.  I always back down and end up just telling them I am, in fact, expecting.  So bonus points for you! 

My WTF goes to my MIL (go figure)--she showed up last night during DH's birthday dinner to drop off cloth diapers for potty training my son.  First, don't just stop by.  Second, we don't do cloth diapers--why would I start now?  And if I wanted to--that a decision for my family--not her.    

I will add--that I am interested in cloth diapers for DS2--but bc MIL dropped them off and made me mad, I wouldn't even look at them and told her to return them.  I realize that I was being a brat--but I didn't care in the moment.  

mayapple44

@babybro218 ughh! Co-workers can be the worst! I had a similar experience my coworker said "i noticed your face was breaking out really bad, are you pregnant again?" There has to be a better way to deal with these bitches.

@magnolia305 girl! Your mil sounds like a trip! Have you tried to have a sitdown chat about setting boundaries? I feel like it would be worth the drama in the long run, especially since you are neighbors.

My WTF, is to my insurance company that denied my NT scan claim and sent me a bill for $1800. I guess there is an appeal process, let the game begin.

eggplantface

babybro218 said:

Sorry to jump the gun on this, but my WTF came before 8am today...  A gossipy co-worker (we actually nicknamed her "Scoops") approached me in the hallway, put her hands on my shoulders, and asked me if I was making my mother a grandmother.  My whole plan to ask, "Why?  Do I look fat?" went out the window.  I tried walking away, but she held me in place.  Without making eye-contact, I told her that if I was, I would tell her when I was ready to tell people.  WTF??  I understand that people may just be excited for me,  but why can't they respect my privacy???  Grrrr.....

What is with people's desire to "out" the pregnant lady? If you suspect someone is pregnant, then cool, go on suspecting until she says something. Why do you have to prove you know?

rainafire77

My job is going to kill me mentally. I do a lot of analysis and working in existing spreadsheets as well as doing a lot of work by email so I don't always have piles of data entry work on my desk. Because of this, my two co-workers assume I don't do anything. They are constantly complaining about how busy they are ("Look at all my piles" while pointedly looking at my clear desk) and interrupting me to do things for them like answer the phone or handle a walk in because they're soooooo busy. When I've said "I'm sorry I have a deadline" they just roll their eyes. I've said "Look I have a lot of work to do too it's just not data entry" they roll their eyes. Brought it up to my boss who blamed my "pregnancy over sensitivity" for it. At this point, I'm hoping theu have someone fully trained on my job when I go on maternity leave because I'm going to be looking elsewhere once I'm done. This is just ridiculous to put up with daily. 

jennifer_m21

I overheard someone in the office say that there were donuts in the staff lounge. I go to the lounge 30 min later, and all of the donuts were gone! *sigh*

eggplantface

@rainafire77 Your boss's response is an HR complaint waiting to happen!

rainafire77

@eggplantface Oh I know it is. This whole place is overly familiar & like "a family" so you get a lot of "family" responses that you wouldn't get elsewhere 

alwayssomethingnew

My WTF is these ridiculous symptoms that go away for a few days and then come back.  WTF nausea!  If my body saw fit to get rid of you (mostly), you are not allowed back!

alwayssomethingnew

@rainafire77 Do you have a white board or bulletin board?  A few times, when absolutely swamped, I have transferred my pages long to do list to some place everyone can see.  And then cross it off but leave it up to show what I've been accomplishing.  Possibly too subtle for some people, but others get it.

babybro218

@jennifer_m21 someone owes you a donut....

@rainafire77, I'm with @eggplantface.  That was NOT ok.

@magnolia305 your MIL sounds like a piece of work.  Can your DH run interference for you?  DH and I had to have a talk about our mothers and he's volunteered to be the one to talk to them about boundaries since they don't seem to be taking me seriously.

I ended up in two meetings today with Scoops and she wouldn't make eye contact with me at all.  I'm considering it a success.  Of course, I did think of the perfect response about 7 hours later...  I should have told her that I already made my mother a grandmother when I got my dog...  I'll have to save that one for the next nosey co-worker.

Starynightsky24

DS told me that his teacher hit him. 

 After long conversations with his teachers and the director and watching the video... he was totally lying. Why would he lie like that?! Come to find out that he had been telling lies about the other kids in the class for a while and they had already written me a note about it and had not sent it home yet. Sadly it doesn't shock me. He has been telling stories since a family friend's daughter told lies about him a few weeks back. 

Anyone have advice on how to teach him how terrible lying is? We talk about it, but he has quite the imagination. 

winnie1122

@Starynightsky24 Aw man that's tough, I'm not to that point in parenting yet (DS is 1) but I teach and this kind of stuff happens a lot. I don't have much advice but I do know I really had an issue with lying when I was around 6-7 and my parents definitely made it out to be the worst thing I could possibly do. I remember how much trouble I got in for it (no matter how small the lie) and I kicked the habit pretty quick I'm told. Not that I never lied again of course, but it was rare. I remember the lies were dealt with severely but also that my parents really honored honesty by lessening punishment for things I was honest about (yes it was me who broke the lamp, not my brother) and by being sure to point out how much they appreciated that I told the truth when I did. I don't remember much about that age, but I remember that!! Definitely also point out all the possible consequences of the lie that ends up hurting other people, sometimes I think kids are very shortsighted and don't understand how their actions affect people they didn't mean to hurt. 

Starynightsky24

@winnie1122 thank you! I taught 4 year olds for three years and have been on the teacher side of similar things which stinks! 

I have been doing those things, but he's definitely still in that egocentric stage of life. It's hard! I tried role reversal to explain the empathy part but he just thought it was a fun game. I'm losing my patience lol. 

jessilee15

Starynightsky24 said:

@winnie1122 thank you! I taught 4 year olds for three years and have been on the teacher side of similar things which stinks! 

I have been doing those things, but he's definitely still in that egocentric stage of life. It's hard! I tried role reversal to explain the empathy part but he just thought it was a fun game. I'm losing my patience lol. 

Yeah...my oldest just turned 4. And he seems to have no grasp on the truth. And empathy is foreign. But when I've tried to get him to think about people's feelings, he starts sobbing. It's like he can't find a medium. No advice - just commiseration!

winnie1122

@Starynightsky24 Hang in there mama! I'm sure he will get it eventually, I am definitely nervous about that stage of parenting so hats off to you in the trenches! 

Starynightsky24

Thank you @jessilee15 it's good to hear I'm not alone at least. He loves imaginative play, but I never thought it would lead to this!

and thank you @winnie1122

every age definitely has its pros and cons, I guess I may off to do some research.

hms1219

My WTF is a day late but it's my mom.  We usually get along great, but lately she's grinding  on my nerves.  It's been a heck of a week and DH has been out of town so it's been me taking care of everything.  Today mom wanted to go shopping so we took the boys and hit the stores.  When they started to act up, I corrected them and turn around to see mom laughing and telling them they are silly and it's okay.  So they started acting worse (playing in the clothing racks etc). In the car when I called her on it, she said Grandma was the same way to her.  She did get quiet when I asked if she liked it, but no apology and she did it again as soon as we got home.  

Im trying to raise boys that behave in public and it is the opposite of helpful when the bad behavior is rewarded or I'm undermined. 

babybro218

@hms1219 I think you handled your mom really well. I'm sorry you didn't get an apology. Her silence after your question speaks volumes, though.

hms1219

@babybro218  thanks.  It's a delicate line to walk with her because she helps me a lot when DH is out of town and I have an extra shift at work.  I'm trying to set boundaries for the boys and now her simultaneously.