Anyone else still looking for a midwife and/or OB?!

kaceykp

Hi ladies! I'm 3wk +4days today and a FTM, yay! I'm so excited and grateful to God for this amazing blessing!! My edd by my Lmp calculation is may 24, 2018. 

We just relocated to a new city for work and Bam, I find out I'm pregnant! I'm just starting the search for a provider and trying o figure out what my insurance covers etc. Any of you ladies still searching for one? It's hard to do it at work during work hours and be discrete since none at works knows yet! Would love some buddies still navigating the appointment making stage if any of you are due at the end of the month Iike me :-).

Thank you!

Kacey

Poppy0419

I'm a foot dragger on making appointments as it is, but now I have to work on switching OBs after discovering mine has a 60% C Section rate. My insurance has an app where I can look up all providers they cover. But I'm in Mississippi and it's slim picking here. 

ivyvines6

I think I found the right one, but I haven't heard back from them. I'm going to call probably Thursday when more of our county will have power again. (Stupid Irma) Ugh I also desperately need to mail my wedding invitations

firefliesandfjords

I'm using the same OB as last time around, but I wasn't under her care until halfway through my last pregnancy. I did the first half in my small hometown with my primary doc, and then they moved me to her practice, which is in a nearby bigger city, because of my risks. I just decided to use her the entire time this go around, even though it means driving 90 miles for every appointment.

kaceykp

Hi poppy, ivy, and fireflies! Thanks for your response. That makes sense. DH and I are touring a midwifery birthing center this evening that I've been reading good things about. Any suggested questions for them? I was told by the insurance lady I spoke to on the phone that my plan may not cover a midwife but I don't know that I believe her... So I'm going to ask about that. I also want to ask if they have any hospital privileges in the surrounding hospitals because I want a hospital delivery. 

It's all exciting but tons of information! 

Poppy any leads on a new provider?
Ivy i hope you stay safe!! I'm praying for you all down there!
Fireflies when is your appt? It's a long drive but I'm happy you are with an OB you trust :-). Excited for you!!

yesthisiskim0401

Crowdsourcing FTW.
I picked my OB based on a friend opinion and experience. But I'm in a few community FB groups and see women asking for OB recommendations frequently (mostly in "mommy groups"). So my suggestion is joining a few local FB groups, perhaps some geared towards moms, and ask! I usually start with the place that has the most recommendations.

This is also how I found a pre-k for my kid lol. #someoneelsedidalltheresearch

ivyvines6

@kaceyp409 I somewhat know her already because she and my best friend's mom started the La Leche Legue where I live. I've met her through that, and I know a few people who have gone through her for their births.

Some things I plan to ask, just to be sure the bases are covered: What do you do in the case of an emergency that requires hospital transfer? How do you handle breech birth? When would you consider an induction? Do you have a pelvic floor physical therapist you recommend in case it becomes necessary? Have you worked with someone who has experienced birth trauma, and how do you handle that? I'm sure I'll have more questions as time goes on...

firefliesandfjords

@kaceyp409 I agree with all the questions @ivyvines6 mentioned. I would also ask about post-partum care, and what they specifically provide in regards to that.

My first nurse appointment is scheduled for the 29th, and I see my OB on November 3rd. I go in tomorrow for a third hCG draw, and there will probably be some tests scheduled between my nurse and first OB appt since I'm high risk.

justsuzie

Where I live I am right in between 3 hospitals (30 minutes in each direction).  I think I may want to go with the one that offers laughing gas for labor because I am terrified of the epidural.  I have weird anxiety about not being able to feel extremities and I think that would freak me out.  I haven't completely researched the laughing gas thing though, so if any of you stms know anything about this, please share. 

Poppy0419

I'm in between a rock and a hard place on finding a provider. I scheduled an appointment with my normal OB for now because I need to at least get in. I'm going to talk to her about what I've heard about the practice and what scares me. 

Yall the other hospital is apparently bad. I just want to go home to my old OB and my old hospital and I'm getting seriously emotional about this. I'm from freaking HOUSTON where I could have a MILLION different OBs or hospitals. 

char245

@justsuzie I've heard that in other countries laughing gas has been a pretty standard option for deliveries and the US is just starting to adopt it in some areas. The only experience I have with it was when I had a cavity filled, I'm not sure if it would be the same but I was not a fan. Everyone is different but in my experience the pain was still bad and I was just very out of it. I'd be interested to hear from someone on how it was during labor.

mrsbacz

I just found a new doctor about a month before we got pregnant. My doctor for my last pregnancy was ok, nothing special. It was her & her husband's practice but I only had her for visits. Well I wound up delivering with her husband, just met him that day, and he was an awful man. My son was stuck in my pelvis and I actually asked for a c-section and he told me no. I pushed for over 3 hours and he "helped" by shoving his hands in there to "widen" my pelvis, all the while telling me I'm too sensitive. I left with a broken pelvis, but a healthy baby. 

My new OB seems nice, and I will have an opportunity to meet everyone in the practice, even though only my doctor and one other do deliveries. I'm just not fond of the hospital they deliver at. I've read reviews that they take the babies from the room every time they need to vitals on baby or mom, and are in no rush to bring them back. DS never left my side in the hospital so I definitely don't like that. I'll just be very vocal about it and hopefully it works out.

thunderberry

I don't have things settled yet because the midwives associated with our hospital have a waiting list, so I won't hear if I made it in for a few weeks. As a back up I have an appointment with a family doctor who does obstetrics on October 10. I feel like in Canada we have less control over choosing who we want as the doctor? Although maybe I could have pushed more to find someone else.

holli0801

Yup! I LOVED my OB last time but we moved out of state. I wrote her and asked to her fly down, but no dice... 

i am strongly considering a birthing center. I have an OB here I got for annual exams, like her, she is nice... but I haven't gotten into the nitty gritty yet. I'm not thrilled with the two hospitals she delivers at so that is a big turn off...

but it don't worry! Plenty of people switch late in pregnancy, and that's okay! Take your time, find the right one... if you have trouble getting there in person bc of work, you can call and ask if there is an email you can send questions (hospitals especially will accommodate) so you could start there.. 

ps, I'm 3.5 weeks as well. Typically, your first appt isn't until 10-12 weeks anyway. You got a little time! 

cups4

justsuzie said:

Where I live I am right in between 3 hospitals (30 minutes in each direction).  I think I may want to go with the one that offers laughing gas for labor because I am terrified of the epidural.  I have weird anxiety about not being able to feel extremities and I think that would freak me out.  I haven't completely researched the laughing gas thing though, so if any of you stms know anything about this, please share. 

I had an epidural last pregnancy and could not only feel my legs but could move them too.  I wasn't up walking around, but was able to move them in the bed.  It's not a complete shut down of your lower half. Hope that helps!

sandbar517

^WSS  Also, I remember in nursing school learning about a pudendal block, which is when they basically just numb the area around the vulva, vagina and perineum.  I don't know how common they are, or how many OBs are willing to do them, but it's something to ask about, anyway.

gildah

@justsuzie My family lives in England and all my cousins had "gas and air" for their deliveries. It seems to be really safe! If you want to avoid an epidural you might want to look into hypno birthing. I know a lot of women who LOVED it. 

My beloved doctor is retiring in December:-( I'm planning on trying out a practice at the giant teaching hospital up the road from us. The practice has one OB and two midwives. I've had four natural births so far and really don't want unnecessary interventions. I'm hoping they won't mess with me too much despite having diabetes! My last kid was 9 days late, and my doctor at the time was so chill and just kept monitoring the pregnancy. Usually they won't let you get away with that with diabetes, even if your blood sugar is perfect. Oh well, in the end, all that matters is a healthy baby and healthy mama!

momo214

@justsuzie I am terrified of needles and the thought of one in my back gives me a panic attack. Like @gildah mentioned, hypnobirthing is an option. I read several books and found the techniques beneficial to birth without pain meds. 

ivyvines6

justsuzie said:

Where I live I am right in between 3 hospitals (30 minutes in each direction).  I think I may want to go with the one that offers laughing gas for labor because I am terrified of the epidural.  I have weird anxiety about not being able to feel extremities and I think that would freak me out.  I haven't completely researched the laughing gas thing though, so if any of you stms know anything about this, please share. 

Another mom from my previous bmb has had with her labor, and was one of the first to use it at the hospital she delivered in. She 100000% would recommend it to anybody asking They've used it in England at least since the 50's, and their maternal mortality rates are ridiculously better than ours.
Side note: You may find that you don't need pain medication as well! The only time I thought I could have used some was after I'd been pushing for over an hour. Actually at that point what I could have used was eating beforehand, not pushing in a stupid position, possibly a joint, and not being induced, but I'm not bitter about anything. :P

ivyvines6

I called the midwife earlier today and still haven't heard anything from them. Not sure if I should extend them some grace because of the hurricane, or look for someone else...

thedawkterswife

justsuzie said:

Where I live I am right in between 3 hospitals (30 minutes in each direction).  I think I may want to go with the one that offers laughing gas for labor because I am terrified of the epidural.  I have weird anxiety about not being able to feel extremities and I think that would freak me out.  I haven't completely researched the laughing gas thing though, so if any of you stms know anything about this, please share. 

You can always request for the dosage to be low enough in your epidural that you can still feel your legs. Also, if you go for a c/s (Which I hope doesn't happen for you, just providing info), you will have to get a spinal. Most anesthesiologists really don't want to do general unless it is a crash emergency. 

I didn't love my legs being numb but it didn't take too long to wear off and I was super distracted by my new squish to care too much. 

yesthisiskim0401

@klynneculpsmith here ya go

klynneculpsmith

Thanks @yesthisiskim0401

blovemama

Even though I liked my OB okay last time, I decided to switch to a practice that delivers at a hospital with a level III NICU and closer to my house. I was in the hopital for 2 weeks and baby in NICU for a week--it was a pain for everyone to make the 30 minute drive multiple times a day. I asked a few friends who delivered at the more convenient hospital and got a few different practice names. Then I asked my primary care doctor who she would go to out of the ones I'd narrowed it down to. After I made the appointment, I found out that my MIL is friends with the OBs mom. So she told her I would be coming in, which was kind of nice. I've seen her twice and I really like her. 

justsuzie

@char245  I've never done the laughing gas before. I heard it's better because you are mentally back to normal in like a minute after they stop it.  I am so sensitive to all pain medications.  Don't really know what we are going to do.  At least I have plenty of time to research and be horrified be different birth stories before I need to make a decision. 

char245

@justsuzie definitely plenty of time to figure it out! I'm sure in the end you will find exactly what's right for you! 

bumpemma

Hi,
This has basically been my obsession since we found out we were pregnant! As we were TTC I saw a midwife group who do home births for my annual pap, and at that stage we wanted a home birth and were approved with them just waiting to get pregnant. Fast forward to infertility treatments, 2 rounds IVF and finally pregnant we have no idea what we want. We thought maybe now we would do a midwife group at a hospital, but the one we toured last week I did not see myself giving birth there.
We're currently considering a birth center, but then we're thinking may as well home birth?
Loosely planning both our mothers will fly over and be here for the birth. Hubby and the mothers would feel safer if we were in hospital or the birth center.

Our RE will be our OB until week 8 when we can move to someone else, hence why I've been shopping as I'm trying to figure out what birth I want so we can choose, and I'm only 5 weeks!

We're interviewing some doula's and chatting to friends who are helping us with info, a great review of the birth centre but still have to decide what is best for baby and us...

justsuzie

I thought that if it's your first birth they HIGHLY recommend not doing a home birth?

ivyvines6

justsuzie said:

I thought that if it's your first birth they HIGHLY recommend not doing a home birth?

I've never heard that.

justsuzie

@ivyvines6 Maybe it is different with locations.  When I called birthing centers in CT they strongly recommended against it for FTMS. Don't know the reasoning behind it.

createmagic14

I just switched for similar reasons to @BritJonathan .  I liked my last OB practice, but they only deliver at the small town hospital that is not capable of dealing with preemies.  I had a (very healthy) preemie last time who spent 11 days in the NICU.   Because of that I choose to find a practice that delivers at a bigger hospital that has a level II special care nursery.   The level III NICU is at a hospital that is the most expensive tier on my insurance,  so I'm choosing not to go there. 

bumpemma

justsuzie said:

I thought that if it's your first birth they HIGHLY recommend not doing a home birth?

I read this as "fifth" birth

bumpemma

Most of my message was deleted... anyway they only accept you if you are lower risk - and that can change later on. Good idea I will ask more about first time moms giving birth, so far they have said they know to prepare that it may be a longer birth.. 

bumpemma

It might also depend on the practice, these 2 groups have certified nurse midwives, some with hospital experience 20+ years and some came from starting a birth centre in a hospital. Some small birth centres might like to make their job easier and reduce risk by not having first births? But it seems to go against their philosophy to not offer to FTMs since they are all about the experience not being in hospital. 

justsuzie

@bumpemma I'm also AMA so that might have been a reason they turned me away.  I'm jealous.  I really wanted a home birth or a birthing center. I spent SO MUCH time in the hospital the past few years for bad reasons that I am completely turned off from going.  I hope this works out for you!

bumpemma

justsuzie said:

@bumpemma I'm also AMA so that might have been a reason they turned me away.  I'm jealous.  I really wanted a home birth or a birthing center. I spent SO MUCH time in the hospital the past few years for bad reasons that I am completely turned off from going.  I hope this works out for you!

Oh I'm so sorry to hear xx
I hope instead maybe a midwife group as part of a hospital or something is available? That's our alternative too.