When to announce the pregnancy?

thunderberry

I was wondering when you lovely ladies plan to make it public that you've got a bun in the oven? Are you telling some closer people now, or waiting to tell anyone, or sharing with the world right away?

As for us, we've already told our parents and siblings about the pregnancy, and some close friends. My logic is that these are people I'd want to support us if we had a miscarriage anyway so they might as well share in the joy too. Also I just suck at keeping my mouth shut. We aren't sure when to tell the broader world (ie make it facebook official, tell my work etc) so I'm curious what other people plan!

sparkymcgeee

I've told some people for the same reason. They support me when I have losses. I plan on announcing more broadly at the end-ish of October. I want to either do a Harry Potter reveal or some Halloween thing with pumpkins. 

yesthisiskim0401

I am "officially announcing" via our Christmas cards. I'm going to do a "this years top 10" and have the new baby be #10. 
My parents knew almost immediately. My BFF was the first person I told - she knew the second the line popped up. I've accidentally slipped and told two others. Not sure if DH has told anyone yet. We are telling close friends and family when the moment is right. 
I always wait until 12 weeks, at least. I'd much rather be out of the scary stages and know the pregnancy is viable. I've had to un-announce before and that was pretty terrible. 

firefliesandfjords

I always like to tell my closest friends right away. It's not for everybody, but for me personally, I like to have a close knit group of people I trust praying for baby. If I were to miscarry, I would know I had people to fall back on and support me. I tend to tell these friends before we even tell our families, because miscarriage is difficult for my parents and my husband's parents to discuss.

This pregnancy I'm telling my family around 8 weeks (if I can hold off) since I had a miscarriage in March and my sister JUST had a baby. I want to let my new nephew have the spotlight for awhile. We probably won't make it public until the beginning of second trimester just because of my miscarriage fears. However, with my first, everyone knew by six weeks because I was so sick, and we announced at 8 weeks with my second because he had a vanishing twin and I just felt better knowing we were being covered in prayer by everyone we knew.

It's so hard to keep quiet though, so I get your struggles it that. It's just SO exciting and hard not to share! Congratulations! 

sandbar517

A few of my close friends and three of my sisters know, but that's it.  MH said, "I don't want to tell anyone until we need them to babysit"   Ideally, I would like to wait at least until after my first appointment (Oct. 12th) to tell everyone else, but my husband's cousin is having her bachelorette party trip the weekend of Sept. 29th, so I have a feeling I'm going to have to tell people, otherwise they'll be very suspicious that I'm not drinking all weekend.  And I'm a big mouth so I'll probably have a hard time keeping it quiet anyway.

Jlr025

We told our parents and a couple close friends within the last week for the same reasons that others have mentioned, they'd be the ones to support us either way. We won't announce it officially until at least 12 weeks. I was thinking of doing it around Halloween. 

SLC1102

Immediate family knows now along with a few friends that happened to be around last weekend when we had a lot of drinking going on... and I wasn't   

The rest of our friends we'll probably tell in a few weeks after my first doctors appointment. 

If we do some kind of announcement (FB/IG etc) it won't be until 2nd trimester. 

ivyvines6

Our parents, a few close friends, and my siblings know now. (Also my bosses know, but they're really in the close friends category) We're planning on announcing during our wedding reception 11/5

rachelg777

We've only told my twin sister. I still feel nervous about letting even our parents know but we might do that after our first scan, which is next week. After that I might tell a couple close friends. MH is against a big reveal but I imagine we would let everyone else know a little ways into second tri.

kpc914

A few close friends and coworkers know. We told my aunt and uncle and their daughter. My aunt is like a second mom to me and has terminal cancer. Her health is rapidly declining and I wanted her to be able to share in our joy as long as she can.

Waiting until after 8 week scan to tell our parents. 

Not doing a big FB reveal or anything, probably tell most extended family  and our siblings late Oct since I am in my cousin's wedding in Nov and I will be 15 weeks along. Other than that....I am sure the "official reveal" will be via my mom's annual xmas cards lol. Might send our own this year, not sure yet. 

artlea2013

I've asked my DH to follow the same rules this time that we did before, parents and siblings after the first appointment, still almost two weeks away, and then extended family after our first ultrasound, which is currently scheduled for 10/30! That seems like a long time, but I don't really mind, it means less annoying questions/comments. If we had a loss, we would just probably tell people after it was all finished up. We're going to a professional baseball game with our close friends at the end of the month, so they will likely figure it out then as I won't be imbibing with them.

As far as social media, once again the annoying questions and comments pushed me to only post something after our 20 week ultrasound last year which should be right before Christmas this time. Maybe a fun Christmas photo

TeacherMom2015

We're telling our families tomorrow (six weeks) and a couple close friends know.  I may have to tell my new job, just because I'm already sick and I don't want them to think I'm lazy lol.  I'll post on facebook around Halloween.

char245

We have told our immediate families and my two best friends. We will wait until after our first appointment to tell anyone else and most likely until 12 weeks for a big announcement 

bearwithme

We are telling a few close family members and I had to tell work so I could get a fetal badge for radiology.  

Otherwise we will wait until the genetic tests come back before we "go public" with the news. 

zizzabell523

We visited my family (400 miles away) this past weekend. At only 5 weeks, it's super early, but I won't see them in person again until Christmas, so I told my dad and a select few who I knew could keep the secret. Will tell a select few on the in-law side in a week or so. Will make a public announcement after my first appointment mid-September, hopefully I can hold off until October. With the way my nausea is going, it may be sooner than later, especially at work.

We had an early loss in 2013 and no one knew, so it was extremely hard for me to pretend everything was okay mentally and physically. If anything happens this time, I'd rather have a support system.

mileswithmyles

My BFF knows.  I told her almost immediately.  She is also expecting and she is one of the few people who knew we were TTC.  Also, we were with them all last weekend for Labor Day/her dad's 70th birthday and I knew she would think it was weird if I wasn't drinking at the party.  I am glad she knew because she was helpful with fake drinks, etc.  I think my running buddy might have an inkling after I ordered decaf coffee two weeks in a row at our post-run breakfast, but she hasn't said anything to me.  She's currently traveling for work for a long, long time so I may text her after my appointment.

I am going to tell my mom after my ultrasound on 9/18 assuming all is well.  I asked DH when he wants to tell his parents and he said May  .  They are currently on a really long cruise and won't be back until October, I don't know if we will wait to tell them in person or if we will try to talk to them while they are on their trip.  I will probably slowly tell other family members, like my brother and SIL, grandparents, etc. after our appointment.  I will also need to tell my aunt and uncle, because ironically, my OB refers all NT scans and anatomy scans to my uncle's perinatology practice, so I will be needed to make an appointment with him.

My plan is to tell work when I am close to 13 weeks.  We have a meeting on 10/23 and we always start with good news, so I will announce to them then.

mrsbacz

My parents and siblings know, we'll tell some additional close friends after our first appointment and ultrasound.

I plan on wearing this to work on Halloween to announce there. 

sparkymcgeee

@mrsbacz I want to get that shirt too but at the same time I might get something like this because I can wear it all year. It's not just a Halloween shirt. 

Poppy0419

I'm going to tell my parents today. They're very opinionated about my life so I'm honestly worried about it. I'm going to go get DD a big sister shirt and see how long I can ride that out. 

tincupchalice

We've told some people. Will go public afte first appt.  I made my boys Harry Potter "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good" shirts and then made a little six month size "mischief managed" shirt for them to hold.

Guillerma

Normally we aren't very good about waiting - mostly because my friends and family figure out pretty quickly when I'm not drinking. This time around, I want the two siblings to be the first to know, but I want to wait to tell them until after my first ultrasound at 8 weeks. Because of that, we're working harder to keep it a secret from everyone else. DH brought me cans of Corona with water in them at our last weekend barbecue! After my first appointment I want to come up with a fun way to tell the siblings, and then let them announce to family. They are going to be so excited.

mrsbacz

@sparkymcgeee I'll definitely be rocking my outfit as pajamas after so it won't go to waste haha

Kaysquared2

We told our parents and siblings at just over 4 weeks, my closes friends at 5 and I’ll tell my boss tomorrow (almost 6 weeks) then we’ll tell everyone else and Facebook at 12ish weeks.  I wanted to tell my closest family and friends in case something happened.  I have to tell Work because I work as a physical therapist assistant in an outpatient pediatric setting part time but this weekend I am working inpatient so they’re are certain patients I won’t be able to see (chemo, radiation, shingles etc).  

momo214

My last pregnancy we didn't tell anyone including until about a month after my BFP. Parents were first then friends and coworkers. The delay was due to it being our first and we don't live in the same town as family so announced it to them when we were person. This time we will see family the week after my first doctor appt on 9/15 so if all is well we will announce from there. I plan to have my daughter (age 3) do the announcement. Friends will be next and then my work team. My family are GREAT gossipers so I know they will spread the news throughout my extended family. 

ladystinson

right now, only DH and I (and you ladies!) know. I had my first round of betas yesterday, going tomorrow for the second. once we know that we're doubling then we'll start telling parent's and his best friend/my sister.

We work in the same office so we'll announce jointly on Halloween, we always have a costume contest so it's expected to see lots of people dressed crazily, I'm going to buy/make a shirt that has a very low pumpkin picture and just wear it around to see how long it takes people to figure it out lol

our boys we're not telling until I start showing, unless something happens where we need to before hand, they're too young for us to be comfortable telling them now with my history. not sure how we'll tell them yet, but I'd like to tell them that we're team pink or blue (if we find out.... still undecided on that because I didn't with DS but DH did with DSS. I feel like he needs the experience of rocking team green the whole 9 months, but I really want to know! lol)

jessnoel89

We told our besties. My best friend married hubby's best friend so we called them immediately. They've been through loss with us before and they knew we were trying for another one. I'll probably tell my parents in the next day or two. Normally I'd wait but we live with them and my morning sickness is out of control so they've probably already figured it out. Not sure when I'll share with the world. We told early the past two times but I think we'll hold off for a bit this time around.

glitzandglitter

Right now only DH and my BFF know. I do plan on telling a few of my close friends and close family members as I would need them if something happened. I am not sure when yet. I won't be telling my boys until we see the heartbeat. Work will depend on how MS goes

brandnewmomma

My husband and I chose to tell our immediate family right away, as well as some close friends and prayer partners in the TTC journey. We made the decision to tell early because no matter what happens, we wanted these same people as our support base.

I also had to tell my co-workers early since my pregnancy symptoms were blaringly obvious. They guessed anyway! I work in a small area and they have all been super supportive and helpful when I need help. It has been a blessing to tell the group we chose.

We will make it "Facebook Official" & tell the rest of our friends and extended family after our 1st US and heartbeat appointment at 9 weeks. The only person who has been less than excited is my MIL (but she is always a hard person for us to deal with on a regular basis) Otherwise, we have gotten tons of congratulations & support. 

The key thing to remember, regardless of what society says, the time to choose to announce a pregnancy is highly personal and the decision is up to the couple. There is no right or wrong time to announce.

BTW, a big happy congratulations to each one on this thread!!!!! 

ccvslp

My best friend, two close coworkers, sister, and our school nurse know now.

TW  I was glad I had told our nurse at school as she was very helpful and reassuring this morning when I had a little bit of spotting and started to panic.  She checked back in on me later, too, she is a sweetheart.  No more has appeared since this morning but the whole experience woke me up enough that I'm feeling more cautious now about telling people.  End TW

My parents are coming to visit us in a couple of weekends and I think we will tell them then even though it will be before my first appointment.  My 9/26 appointment is called a "confirmatory" and then the next one is at 12 weeks; I'm not sure if there's an u/s before 12 weeks but that will likely dictate when I feel comfortable telling MH family.

I won't put it out to anyone else until 12w.

lincbeesmom

We will most likely tell everyone after our first ultrasound in mid october. I'll be around 11-12 weeks. We announced at 9 weeks with DS. 

BertieMeetsGertie

DH and I are struggling with this a bit. We have a wedding this weekend, and I'll only be 5 weeks. However, the groom was our best man and I don't think they would buy the excuse of "I'm not drinking because I'm on antibiotics" routine. I don't plan to tell our parents until at least after the first ultrasound. 

sparkymcgeee

BertieMeetsGertie said:

DH and I are struggling with this a bit. We have a wedding this weekend, and I'll only be 5 weeks. However, the groom was our best man and I don't think they would buy the excuse of "I'm not drinking because I'm on antibiotics" routine. I don't plan to tell our parents until at least after the first ultrasound. 

"I'm the DD. DH is such a fun killer." Or ask for gin and tonic without the gin and it still looks like a drink. There are ways....

rachelg777

I've been doing "vodka tonic" with only tonic. I'm sure it's suspicious though since I usually would have a beer. I have a wedding next weekend, I'm hoping to still sneak by with some fake drinking.

dinonugget

I told my graveyard partner/good friend pretty quickly and DH told his bff right away. We told my parents last night and will tell my mil and sister in the next week. We'll probably tell everyone else after our first u/s at 10 weeks. I think a few coworkers suspect but they haven't said anything. I'm getting big brother and big brother again shirts for the boys to take pictures in at Disneyland with our "Baby Lastname" Mickey ears that we used to announce DS2.

mileswithmyles

@dinonugget we were contemplating announcing that way as well!  So cute!

dinonugget

@mileswithmyles this is what we did last time. We have annual passes and go constantly so it was fitting. 

mileswithmyles

@dinonugget I love it!  We've had passes the last few years and that's kind of what sparked the idea. 

ivyvines6

dinonugget said:

@mileswithmyles this is what we did last time. We have annual passes and go constantly so it was fitting. 

We have annual passes too! Definitely stealing those picture ideas Last pregnancy I took a picture of the blue baby Mickey ears on my bump

heelsidehero

I'm still debating. My sister is having a c-section next Thursday. She wants me to tell our mom before she has her baby because she thinks it will take away from her glory and her baby being the baby. I actually thought it would be better to wait a bit so she can have the baby for a while. Now I'm just not even excited to share the news because she made me feel like I'm taking something away from her instead of being happy for me (even though she says she is).  

Will tell the in-laws next time we see them in person. As of now, the plan isn't until mid-October but they likely won't be able to be away from DS that long. (They moved a few hours up north so we don't see them as often).

As for friends, we will tell a select few and wait until after the us/genetics test/12-14 wks (Or more realistically until I can't hide it anymore). 

ccvslp

@BertieMeetsGertie I have a wedding this weekend at 5w, too!  I'm undecided to what my "tactic" will be; it's at an orchard so I'm not sure if it will be beer or wine only or mixed drinks, too.  I've literally thought about putting some cran or white grape juice in the car to use as a fake out in a wine glass if beer/wine only or I'll just drink cranberry and pretend it's vodka cran otherwise.  I'm avoiding the tonic water and lime strategy because I know SO many people who have been "found out" that way, including one of my bridesmaids at my own wedding.   I wouldn't typically be drinking gin and tonics or plain vodka sodas so I'm trying to get tricky... 

rachelg777

@ccvslp I can't believe people call people out for that! I mean at least if they are pretending clearly they aren't ready to announce yet so mind your own business. I mean it's different if it's a sister or a maybe a best friend but idk! Good luck being sneaky! I admit I did pour out a beer and fill it with water when I had a friend over for drinks the day I got my BFP. Definitely wasn't ready to say anything and we had already had drinks planned...