MBF - Labor Day Edition

becausescience

ivfgotthistwice

my husbands extended family is extremely close and about 35 people. This year there have been 4 baby boys born (yay cousins)! We had a Labor Day BBQ on Saturday and announced we are expecting and they gave an unexpected response. "Oh another one" "I thought we were going to have a little break" "wow 5 babies in a year"  AND they all know our infertility struggles. Ugh. 

becausescience

@ivfgotthistwice WTAF!  

I'm so sorry that was the response you got.

justkeeptrying

@ivfgotthistwice, wow! That is actually terrible. Why are people so stupid?! I'm so sorry. Everyone should be so thrilled!!! Ugh that's terrible. 

DDRRT1982

@ivfgotthistwice that's really shitty.  People can be so insensitive.  

My bitchfest is that I have to find a new vehicle today.  This isnt really an easy task when you might have four still rear facing in March and you have champagne taste on a beer budget.  I really want something nicer, but my kids are getting more and more expensive with their education and activities that I really should just get something that is safe and dependable.  Adulting can be rough.

becausescience

My MBF is that my sister wants to move our family get together to her house so DH and my dad can help her H move their gun safe to their basement.

ShawnnaO

@ivfgotthistwice omg I would be fuming. I can't imagine how upsetting that was!

heatherdubrow

@ivfgotthistwice wtf?!? You win. Sorry they were so shitty.

bettyvonsomethingstein

Hey, @DDRRT1982, I don't know what kind of vehicle you're looking for, but I also have champagne taste on a beer budget, and the Honda leasing program allowed me to get a top of the line Odyssey for less than half of what we pay per month on our Pilot.  They apparently hold their value really well.

bettyvonsomethingstein

@ivfgotthistwice, why can't people just STFU with their opinions and celebrate with you?  I fear telling my own family for similar reasons.  I'm so sorry.

Cowboycorgi

@ivfgotthistwice, I am so sorry! What is wrong with people? 

@DDRRT1982, I completely understand your dilemma! We have spent so much money on IVF the last few years, that now I want to splurge on something nice for the family... but we really need to get a savings account replenished because it has been at zero for a very very long time. And now we have so many medical bills I don't much will go into it this year. Living paycheck to paycheck has been giving me some major anxiety. 

HappyMonkey817

@ivfgotthistwice omg, that is an incredibly shitty response. I'm so sorry

My bitch is that I'm just feeling so awful, in general. If I'm doing anything other than sitting or lying down, I'm miserable. Not exactly convenient when momming a toddler.

DDRRT1982

@bettyvonsomethingstein I have owned two odyssey's and they have by far been my favorite.  I traded in my touring for this POS NV that is being bought back. It's actually what I know I should buy.  I'll talk to my husband about that option.  Maybe I can get a new one with the body style change?  I was going to try to lower my payments, but maybe this is an option.

k318

@ivfgotthistwice that is terrible! So sorry they are being crappy

my MBF is myself- I feel like I am being lazy and not nearly as productive as I need to be. I became a SAHM a few months back and totally had unrealistic expectations (my house would always be spotless, meals always healthy and homemade, etc). I was doing pretty OK with it. Until I got pregnant. Between the surprise and general crumminess of being in the first trimester, I feel like I let a lot of it slip. House is a wreck, we have been ordering in/eating out a lot more than I would like to admit. Now it's back to school time and I'm trying to catch up and I'm beating myself up over it, even though I know that's a bad road to go down. I'm considering just hiring a cleaning service for a day and then trying to maintain from there. Give myself a little break? 

justkeeptrying

@k318, I am sooooo with you! I broke down this morning at the mess of my house. I'm also a SAHM. And between morning sickness, fatigue, and flat out laziness, my house has become a pig sty. I also can't stomach cooking most days, so we have been ordering in a LOT and it's really impacting our budget. I decided today will my turning point. DH is home and occupying DS so I am trying to get a lot of cleaning done. It's simple things like loading the dishwasher after every meal and not letting the dishes pile by the sink that I need to improve on! Today is the turning point!

DDRRT1982

Don't worry, ladies!  This is only temporary and soon you guys will feel back to yourself.  Also, if you can swing the budget for someone to come in and clean right now, I highly recommend it.  Even if it's just once to get you back on track.  

mountain_girl

@k318 and @justkeeptrying this is me too! I'm not a SAHM, but I'm feeling so bad about not cleaning or cooking for so long...we moved last month and there is still so much organizing and unpacking to do, but when you're feeling sick and tired, the last thing you want to do is clean, cook, or organize   

isntthatspeshul

@ivfgotthistwice oh no they didn't... that's unreal, in so sorry. I come from a family of 5 girls so someone has basically been pregnant every year forever...it's like nothing special anymore 

ivfgotthistwice

Thanks everyone! @isntthatspeshul  yeah, I think that's what it is but it started with a baby born Jan, July, August, Sept and now me in March. Hopefully the excitement grows with my belly growing. 

mdfarmchick

@ivfgotthistwice I'm so sorry that they are a bunch of twats.

Here's mine... we bought our house two years ago in a neighborhood with really good resale value ((because we move a lot for MH's job)) and one of the huge selling points of this house is all of the GE Monogram appliances in the kitchen. The fridge was originally $15k before the market crashed and apparently some couple in the neighborhood went through foreclosed houses and stole a ton of the built in fridges and sold them on Craigslist for $8-10k before they got caught with 16 of them. so it's a big selling point for your house ((and an increase in list value)) if you still have the stupid fridge. It broke while we were still closing for the house so the sellers paid GE Monogram to come fix it. Well it stopped working sometime last night while we were sleeping and only partially works right now. So we just threw away a ton of freezer food and have no fridge on the holiday. 

fatstagnation

@mdfarmchick I'm sorry being without a fridge and having to deal with food going bad is a terrible way to spend any day, let alone Labor Day. 

My BF is my DH. I don't like to complain about him because I really do love him, but I am ready to kill him today. It started with him telling me to do something instead of just asking nicely. Then I go to put pans away, and there's other dishes there. We've specifically discussed that baking sheets don't go there! Multiple times! So why? just, why? And then, I bring down bedding to wash it (because we're spending Labor Day dealing with fleas. Hows does an indoor cat get fleas anyway?) and he asked what I'm going to do with the blanket his mom made. Me: wash it. Him: well...I guess just be careful. It's wool.
WTF? When she gave it to us I had him ask her what it was made out of and how we should wash it. (She speaks Italian, and I'm not that good for technical discussions, yet.) He told me to "just wash it normal." I said, so it's acrylic? Him: I guess, yeah. Now I don't know if he ever even asked her or just told me some whatever he made up at the time. Grrr. 

And obviously I'm hormonal and just more angry than I should be about everything, but I give up. I'm hanging on the Bump with you all for a little while. LOL Thanks for listening. 

cford08

@ivfgotthistwice I am so sorry girl, that was super rude and uncalled for. 

My MBF is slow ass co-workers. I should have to left work like 2 hours ago. But no, I have I to sit here and babysit grownups. Adulting is hard. Happy Labor Day ladies!

LiveNLove44

MBF I've felt crappy for the last few days again. I have felt pretty good since about 10 weeks, and now that I'm 14 weeks tomorrow, MS has reared its ugly head again. My aversions stepped up a bit, too, which is making things worse because I can only stomach a few things, and those things don't make me feel great. GO AWAY. Buck up, second trimester, and take charge!!

LiveNLove44

Okay, one more MBF...

EVERY YEAR, without fail, my MIL "stops by" and takes up valuable time on the night before school starts. EVERY. YEAR. For the last decade...for real. This year I knew it was going to happen, so I saved an errand to run when DH said, "Hey, my mom's going to stop by with a question about her computer and to see the kids for a bit." There's always something. SHE STOPS BY IN THE EVENING in the SINGLE hour between dinner and bath time. One: we are getting our own children ready for the long week. Two: I am finalizing plans to meet HUNDREDS of students tomorrow and set the stage for the school year. I'm busy. I'm mentally trying to not forget anything so as not to ruin some kid's first day back to school. Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, leave me alone today of all days in the year.

barrelocarol

@ivfgotthistwice Just wow...

I admire your hope of their excitement. You've got more faith than I do. I'm sorry you heard that response. Not ok and your sweet baby is precious, regardless of what they said, will say or will do. 

kiki75

@becausescience Are we talking a full-size big ol' safe? If so, hard pass. Movers are really not that expensive when you consider the value of having people with the tools and skills to do it safely (and if not it's their bodies and they're paying for any damage to the house). Your dad and YH don't need to put themselves at risk when there are perfectly good options. No way. I'm pretty sure YH's doctor recommended against that.

HappyMonkey817

I'm one day late. Sorry. 

Tomorrow is my NT scan and blood work, and I'm nervous. My bitch is that I'm not so nervous about the results, but I'm very nervous about how much it's going to cost and what's going to be covered by insurance. That's seriously messed up! Our health care system is so awful. It's disgusting that I can't get clear answers.

fatstagnation

@HappyMonkey817 This healthcare system is a mess. and our insurance sucks. We got a bill for our first ultrasound at the fertility clinic and insurance didn't cover it! They billed it as in-network, applied their contracted discount, and then said we have to pay for it and it applies to our deductible. what?! Nice prenatal coverage. 

crossfitbabybump

@ivfgotthistwice - what in the actual... wtf? Wow girl so sorry that's how they responded. NOT COOL! We're happy for you!!! Grow little one, grow!!

ladybugsamom

HappyMonkey817 said:

I'm one day late. Sorry. 

Tomorrow is my NT scan and blood work, and I'm nervous. My bitch is that I'm not so nervous about the results, but I'm very nervous about how much it's going to cost and what's going to be covered by insurance. That's seriously messed up! Our health care system is so awful. It's disgusting that I can't get clear answers.

@HappyMonkey817  Mine is tomorrow, too. I'm being co-managed by an OB and an MFM and I seriously cringe every time another appointment is scheduled because of what my out-of-pocket expense will be.  I'm a health insurance broker and even I have issues/complaints about my coverage.  The state of our country's healthcare system is really sad and unfortunate.  I don't see it getting better anytime soon.  Having a good savings plan in place so you can "self-insure" to a degree is really the only viable option for a lot of people.

Good luck with everything!

ladybugsamom

fatstagnation said:

@HappyMonkey817 This healthcare system is a mess. and our insurance sucks. We got a bill for our first ultrasound at the fertility clinic and insurance didn't cover it! They billed it as in-network, applied their contracted discount, and then said we have to pay for it and it applies to our deductible. what?! Nice prenatal coverage. 

@fatstagnation  I don't know if this is the case for you, but I was told that almost all ultrasounds fall outside the global maternity charge and can be billed separately.  Deductible will apply to it as a regular radiology/imaging service - not maternity.

fatstagnation

@ladybugsamom that's exactly what it looks like it is coded as on the bill. bummer. I really wanted the assurance of another ultrasound but at $350 each,  it's probably smarter to save that for when baby's actually here. 

I feel like I need to go get a job, but I can barely drag my ass to the grocery store. ha!

ladybugsamom

fatstagnation said:

@ladybugsamom that's exactly what it looks like it is coded as on the bill. bummer. I really wanted the assurance of another ultrasound but at $350 each,  it's probably smarter to save that for when baby's actually here. 

I feel like I need to go get a job, but I can barely drag my ass to the grocery store. ha!

@fatstagnation Haha!  And forget about putting the groceries AWAY!

If your OB takes a quick peek at the baby during your regular check ups, then those ultrasounds are included.  The anatomy scan may also be included (but don't quote me on that).  But if you go to an outside facility or are seen by a different ultrasound tech during your visit, those are the ones that will be separate.  It's such a pain to keep track of.