FFFC 9/1

breezybee

My confession is that I'm too lazy to find a good GIF 

MJDsquared

I may have bribed DH with anal sex this week to get him to do something. I haven't held up my end of the bargain yet, but so far he is holding up his. (We've only done it like twice because I'm not a fan, but he is constantly trying to convince me to do it so I knew it'd be a motivator.)

Kirss

@MJDsquared I'm nosy what does he have to do? Tell him he can collect after December when you can have some liquid courage. 

Last weekend my sister stole my husband's Rx and I'm honestly not upset, because it means I never have to see/talk to her ever again. 

babytimeagain

My confession is that if I have to have my personal space invaded one more time by my boss and his freaking awful coffee stank breath one more time, I'm seriously going to lose it. So ready for the long weekend!

breezybee

Haha @MJDsquared that's how you get shit done!  Good job
@Kirss What an asshole. At least you don't have to deal with her anymore. 

AFM, today is my last day at one of my nanny jobs and I'm not sad AT ALL.  I've been with them for 8 years and feel like I should be bummed out...BUT IM SO FREAKING HAPPY TO BE DONE!!!
The mom is so neurotic and just completely out of touch with other people. For example, I do all of the families Christmas wrapping every year. Since I'm leaving and my girls will be here by Dec 9th, she said - in all seriousness - that she'd like to bring all of her wrapping to my house so I can still wrap all 50+ presents for her. After having a csection. And having newborn TWINS. Why TF would I want to do that?  She thinks I'd love it.  
The list of crazy things goes on and on. I love them and all, but I am so done. 
WOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!

Kirss

@breezybee she sounds like a nut job.
  
Also as for my sister, it's a giant relief for me, I hated extended an invite to her in hopes she wouldn't be able to make it. LOL the meme works in both scenarios. 

MJDsquared

@Kirss This is going to sound so ridiculous and silly, but... DH has pretty long hair right now, like at least to his shoulders. He wipes his hair on the shower walls when he's in there but then he LEAVES IT so it falls down when it dries and gets in the drain. I wipe my hair on the walls and then throw it away at the end of each shower. I'm the one who always unclogs the damn drain (though he's gonna have to take that up if it clogs when I'm super enormous/recovering from birthing his child). I've asked him so many times to throw it away, then the other night I go to shower and it's all over the walls and I got so mad and then the lightbulb went off. I told him we could do it if he'd just throw away his damn hair. This morning I checked the shower and it was ALL GONE. I was like, "You really did it!" and he just smirked at me. Lol.
How shitty of your sister. I'm glad you have an out, though. I'd like one of those from my father, but he's not an addict, just a narcissist.

@hellothere47 Ew, I hate having my space invaded and coffee breath. I always hated in high school when teachers would walk down the rows of desks and like stop and put their hand on your shoulder. I always tried to lean away to avoid it. But it was always worse when they leaned down to talk to you with their nasty breath.

@breezybee Yay for being done with your shitty boss!

failuretofly

I predict a shitstorm evolving from this FFFC, but here it is anyway:

If I were to go into labour and deliver this baby today (25+2) I would not resuscitate her. I would not allow her to be intubated and placed on a ventilator and have a million procedures done to maybe keep her alive. I would instead choose to cuddle her and spend every minute possible with her until she, most likely, dies. 

I am aware that if I am actually faced with this decision, my choice may change, but as of this moment, that is where I stand, and DH 100% agrees. 

tamaraaaa

I can't imagine the things my husband would had to do for some back door, but cleaning hair he should clean up anyway is NOT grounds for poking my butt.  You are an extremely god wife for that one!

I'm not sure what I would do in that situation right now.  This early I might agree, but then I think to myself it's possible to survive so I would be torn.  

I will confess this-I have zero connection to this baby.  I know he's in there, kicking me constantly, but I have no concept that this is actually happening and we are totally living in denial.  It feels weird to buy clothes.  If I lost the baby, I'm not sure how we would react because it doesn't feel like I have another kid besides my daughter.  I felt the exact same way with my daughter, and it never hit me (or my husband) until she was actually born.  No problems connecting, no PPD or anything, I just need to see and hold the baby before I can actually process it all.

failuretofly

@tamaraaaa I am the same way, was the same with DS. I actually didn't really 'love' him until he was probably ~2 weeks old. It just feels so abstract at this point!

tamaraaaa

I will also admit I love my kid 35275082525 times more now than when she was a baby.  They are so needy, and they do absolutely nothing to return the favor.  You feed them, rock them, clean up shit and in return they sit there like a lump...  And then shit again.  My toddler is fun, yells across the room she loves me and has genuine excitement to see me.  I can take her places and do fun things with her.  Even when she is being the most toddlery toddler ever, I still choose it every single day over baby days.  As a FTM, it was fun because you didn't know what was coming... Now that I know, I want to fast forward through the first year.  

oldersis

I freaking hate the newborn stage. I had 2 babies with reflux and food intolerances, and it was SO HARD. The 4th trimester is no joke and I felt like I really hit my mom stride with both kids at 3 months.

acgonzalez22

Add me to team hates newborn stage! 

rainbowdashh

My second was colicky and that wasn't fun, but even still I prefer newborns over toddlers. 3 year olds are kind of the worst. 

tamaraaaa

I feel like when my 3 year old is the worst, I at least have options.  I can take her places, find her things to do, call a friend to play with, lock her in her room and ignore her....  When a newborn is crying and you can't figure out why it's like NOPE.  DONE.  When she was 4 weeks old it was like clockwork-7pm was the witching hour and it was just an hour of screaming no matter what you did.  

Bribery always works with mine too, and I am not above using that every opportunity needed.  Thankfully, she is well behaved in public and I never considered the epic toddler meltdowns out and about until we were with a friend and it happened with her daughter.  My kid was like  and if she did that out, I would probably lose my mind.




Kidding on the locking her in her room and ignoring her BTW.  Kinda.  

breezybee

I really am not a fan of babies. And I'm getting 2 of them lol.  All they do is squirm and jerk around and poop and eat and cry. And they have gross cradle cap and all sorts of weird shit going on. They're scary. I can't wait for my kids to be like 1.5-3. That's the cutest and most fun age range, IMO. They love you and are starting to talk and then REALLY talking and they're just so sweet. 
But babies man. Ugh no. 

rainbowdashh

That same colicky baby is now a very stubborn and opinionated 3 year old. She tries my patience in ways I didn't even know were possible. 

It's a good thing I think she's cute lol

ameliabedelia-2

I had a hard time connecting with my daughter when she was really young. I loved her but it wasn't like it is now, where I am just obsessed with her. Three is a hard age, but I love it. She's hysterical and loves me so much. She's my best buddy

whiska

FFFC: I cannot see my lady bits anymore and wondering how H will respond when I tell him I need a hand with upkeep  

elcd458

Y'all are cracking me up. As a FTM I honestly don't know if newborndom or toddlerhood sounds more terrifying.  It just seems unfair that baby animals can already walk and eat and stuff and baby humans are (cute) helpless lumps.

Weirdly enough, I am actually most excited for the school-age phase.  They've grown out of their cuteness by then and are usually awkward and always sweaty for some reason, but I can't wait to see my child start to learn academically and be of an age where they can really develop actual interests and skills and have meaningful conversation.

cait5413

@MJDsquared you need to get him to agree to clean the drain too! You'll need it when baby is about 3 months old and all your hair falls out.

blueskies17

I love babies and I am terrified of toddlerhood. Toddlers can be real assholes sometimes.   

Mandayno

@MJDsquared I laughed a lot when I read this! Hey you do what you got to do! Mine would probably do about anything just for sex! He would probably pass out if I bribed him for the back door! 

eazybreezy225

I absolutely adore having a newborn... the coos, that newborn smell at the top of their heads, their tiny little fingers and toes, tiny little clothes, cuddles and snuggles.
They grow up so quickly, the newborn stage is a blink of an eye compared to a person's life span... I'm going to cherish every moment. The good and all the poopy, crying horribly bad parts.
Before I know it, I'll be old and gray, and I'll be looking back on these moments. I'll only be able to re-live them through old pictures and old home movies and my faded memory.
So, I'll enjoy every second of it and soak it up while I can.

katiegeminimoon

My fffc is I'm afraid I'm going to have an ugly baby and not know it. Parents with ugly babies always think they are the cutest baby in the whole world and everyone else is like "ummm yeah sure". DH and I are not goofy looking or anything and were both cute kids, so let's hope she is (actually) cute too! 

elcd458

@ktcakes87  I know how you feel!  I have been saying this for so long that I have a couple girlfriends who I made swear to me they'd tell me if my kiddo was funny looking. I doubt they'll keep their promise, fingers crossed they won't have to 

jlemons-2

@ktcakes87 my best friend and I just have an agreement, tell me if my baby is ugly!

whiska

@ktcakes87 Haha My sister said the same, "I wonder if moms know when their baby isn't that cute?" Her first daughter came out looking like a perfect porcelain doll, but my nephew was so fat and swollen and squished she was like, "Yes I knew! He was not cute!" However that kid - by 9 months he was so beautiful and as a toddler people would actually come up to us on playgrounds and say, "I just can't believe how cute he is!" So you know, they're always growing and changing on us

eazybreezy225

whiska said:

FFFC: I cannot see my lady bits anymore and wondering how H will respond when I tell him I need a hand with upkeep  

I use Nair.. works pretty well!

disneyfan0511

I think you know when your baby isn't 'cute' - DD1 was born swollen and looked like a grumpy old man. But it didn't really bother me as much as I thought it would, and the moment I held her the love I had was all that really mattered. She grew out of it pretty fast and is a beautiful 6 year old. My DD2 came out looking like the Gerber baby and I had comments all the time how beautiful and perfect she was when she was a newbie, I didn't get those comments with DD1.  

tamaraaaa

I thought my daughter was so cute and now looking back I'm like.... what the heck?!  The baldness really doesn't help any kids on the cuteness scale.

cait5413

DD was pretty swollen when born, but I didn't really realize til a few days later when the swelling went down. She definitely got cuter