Waiting it out- anyone else?

suchaglencoco

Is anyone else waiting to get started either with testing or for appointments or for timing?
I try to keep up with the current threads going on, but those seem to be mostly for those who are already into their protocol. (And know this ladies in those threads, I am silently lurking and cheering you all on!)
I didn't know if there is anyone else just kind of lurking and waiting for their time that may want to express some early on vents or ask a random question that may not fit anywhere else. Or if anyone would like to ask some gtky questions so when our time comes to start our protocols, we'll be a little more familiar with each other.

adirat

Hi @suchaglencoco! I am...we are waiting for the PGD lab to give us the go ahead to start ivf, hopefully in September. 

What are you waiting on?

suchaglencoco

adirat said:

Hi @suchaglencoco! I am...we are waiting for the PGD lab to give us the go ahead to start ivf, hopefully in September. 

What are you waiting on?

That is so exciting!!! Can I ask how many you had to send?

We're super far back and are waiting for our return patient consult next month. The wait is agonizing, but at least this time I know what o am in for.

adirat

@suchaglencoco None yet. We are doing PGD for a genetic condition, so the lab has to build a probe BEFORE we can start ivf. It is supposed to take 6-8 weeks, and 6 weeks will be the first week of September. Once they tell us they're ready, then I can start stims. I'm hoping it'll be done in time for us to start with my RE's mid September ivf cycle! I am pretty terrified to start ivf but also very eager to get it over with so it's a strange combination of feelings...

Waiting for the return patient consult must be so frustrating! How long has it been? 

suchaglencoco

@adirat, my fault. I completely read it as PGS. And honestly, I haven't heard/ read anything about PGD that I can recall. I will definitely look into soon so I can be more educated about it.

**TW children mentioned, loss mentioned 
We did the transfer for our twins in April 2015 and worked with our RE office until 11ish weeks pretty closely because of some sch issues and being higher risk.  
I am more nervous that I thought I'd be because our RE moved to a new job and all of the nurses and receptionists we worked with are all gone due to new management not being what they had hoped. We've worked with the current RE a few times and she was always the one that gave us bad news unfortunately. She was also the one who did our first transfer which ended in a mc. Even though we logically know none of it was her doing, my DH is still feeling a little trepidation working with her again.

mockingjay1

*TW* - I had a MC at 9.5 weeks */TW*, so I have to wait until my follow up appointment in October to have another SHG and start IUIs again. I've just been lurking here & TTGP feeling like I don't really belong anywhere while I wait. 

suchaglencoco

@dmo1371, so sorry for your loss.

I've been lurking between the 2 as well and kind of feel awkward posting in either at this point. I am kind of glad I'm not the only one hanging in the bushes, watching everyone else actively try while I twiddle my thumbs and wait. 

[Deleted User]

You guys, I waited and lurked for So. Long. Until I saw an Ivf thread open up where I "belonged," and finally joined the July/August thread... in like May probably, lol. I totally get it.  It can feel lonely sitting on the sidelines.

If anyone else has a timeline for FET in October, I started that up too, (but so far no bites).  I <b>know</b> we've got some other October transfer ladies, maybe in the donor egg thread, too?  But anywho.  I agree.  There is So. Much. Waiting. We just started ivf finally, but then we will be waiting for hysteroscopy at the end of September...... before finally moving onto October transfer.  We have been benched essentially a year leading up to this tho bc we got out azoo dx last Septemeber or October.... and this is how long it took us to start a treatment cycle.... sigh.
*autocorrect fails

adirat

@suchaglencoco @dmo1371 I know you would be more than welcome in the IF thread on TTGP, but I'm also happy to hang out with you here!

@suchaglencoco I carry an x-linked genetic condition that is not very serious in me (well, other than causing my premature ovarian insufficiency) but could become very serious in a fetus. (tw) I lost a baby girl in the second tri to this condition earlier this year (end tw) so we have decided to do IVF rather than take our chances and go through the same thing again. PGD = preimplantation genetic diagnosis, essentially checking the embryos for the condition and then only implanting healthy embryos. PGS checks for things like trisomies; PGD specifically checks for the gene where the condition occurs. That's why it's done in advance rather than after embryos are created as in PGS. Anyway. Sorry to hear the practice has had so much turnover. I get the trepidation -- having a good rapport with the staff is SO important for the emotional component of all this.

@dmo1371 I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your SHG goes well and you can move forward.

@businesswife I am HOPING we will be an October FET! But it's too soon to say since we haven't scheduled our IVF yet... cue me jumping the gun a little bit  

steph8986

Hi Gals! Thanks for starting this thread! Ive also been lurking! We are waiting to start our first (and hopefully only) IVF. The plan is November with likely a freeze all and FET in January. Our IVF consult is next week. Feels like this whole process has been a lot of hurry up and wait.  We started with my RE in February,  did some IUIs, then waited what seemed like forever for my surgery and FINALLY a diagnosis after 9 years of being in the unexplained category.  I had the choice between September and November IVF, and I picked November so we'd have a couple extra months to get finances in order and squeeze in a couple natural cycles in hopes that surgery maybe "fixed enough". Anyways now that we are getting excited about the IVF I'm wishing I would have picked September. I HATE waiting. I've waited a very long time already,  and I'm anxious to get started since we have to go this route.  Anyways,  consult next week, maybe that will make me feel like we are "doing" something. Here's to waiting Gals!

suchaglencoco

@BusinessWife, so glad you're off the waiting train! It's so exciting to finally start!

[Deleted User]

@suchaglencoco. Thank you!!!!!  It is really exciting. :D  Keeping everything crossed for a perfect outcome!  I think it would be pretty hard on DH if it didn't go well and we had to repeat prior to transfer....  :( 

suchaglencoco

@steph8986, "hurry up and wait" is the best way to describe this whole process! I always had to remind myself that it'll all come together as it was meant to in the end.
As for our first transfer, I didn't feel like we were "doing" anything until I got the box of medications in the mail. And then I thought we were doing too much as it was a bit overwhelming! 
Good luck at your consult. 


@BusinessWife, I'm glad you're also worried about your DH in all of this. It's a lot for the women to do, but it's also a lot for them to just sit by and watch when most men just want to fix it and can't. 

J1006

I'm waiting for my IVF consult at the end of September. DH and I thought we would postpone IVF until next summer due to my work schedule (I work in a school). I was just up front with my principal and assistant principal (she actually already knew we were doing IUIs). Both told me not to wait and not to hesitate to take time for appointments, etc.  I thought I was a patient person, turns out I'm not haha. 

adirat

@J1006 Welcome! It's so wonderful to hear that they were supportive. I hope the next month speeds by for you!

suchaglencoco

@J1006, welcome!  So glad they told you to move forward and not try to wait till next summer.  And so so so happy your principal and AP are so supportive. That will definitely make it all a lot easier. 

I suggest getting a notebook that you take with to your consult appointment. Between now and then if you think of any questions, however dumb you may think they are, write them down and then bring it to the appointment. That really helped us at some of our appointments. Most of the questions we had were definitely answered on their own, but it honestly helped my mind be more at ease before and after. 

steph8986

@J1006 Looks like we are on similar timelines from this year! Do you happen to know what your IF Diagnosis. Curious because you are the same age as me. Waiting does suck My consult is next week, but we won't be starting IVF until November, and then won't do a transfer until January. My goal at the start of the year was to get pregnant this year, and It's cruel punishment to my Type A-ness, to be having the transfer in January, haha.


Everyone: What are Questions you have for the consult? Mine are:
what my expected drug protocol will be (so i can estimate costs)
If we should even consider ICSI not having any MFI.
What she thinks and recommends as far as PGS testing (i'm leaning no)
If she recommends assisted hatching
and want to cover OHHS risks (i'm pretty sensitive to hormones, so I have a fear that I will get it) And any additional risks/preventatives with my blood clotting disorder. 

I'd love more input on questions to ask that I may not have even thought of!

mockingjay1

@adirat - I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the lab is all set up by mid September for your IVF cycle. 

@suchaglencoco - I'm sorry for your previous loss. That is so hard when the staff changes. I feel like I've built a good relationship with my RE, his nurses, the front desk staff, u/s techs, and the lab techs... I can't imagine having new staff.

@BusinessWife - I know you didn't really have any other choice, but you are amazing for waiting as long as you have. I've seen you answer questions and such on the boards but didn't know your story until recently. I really hope everything goes great for you the next couple months! 

@steph8986 - I'm glad you were able to get your diagnosis. I hope November comes quickly for you. I suck at waiting too! 

@J1006 - I'm so glad to see that you don't have to wait until next summer to start IVF! That's great your work is being so flexible. I hope your consult goes well!

suchaglencoco

@steph8986, I think that is a great start to a question list! I have an awful memory and have no clue what other questions we would have asked our first go around.
This time, since it's a repeat fet, I'll probably just ask if they think the protocol will be the same, if I have to repeat any testing, and what the time line is looking like.

@dmo1371, thank you. We honestly went and visited our favorite nurse before she left and we cried. And then when our original RE left, we went to visit her and we cried. We built up a relationship over those 14 months of using them that it's hard to imagine doing that again. Like I saw them way more often than I saw my family. And they still have 1 nurse that remained and I cannot stand her. I have great veins for drawing blood, a weird thing to say, but I've honestly gotten complimented on it by several people throughout my lifetime. This one nurse could never get the needle in for bloodwork and then told me "I'm sorry, but if I struggle the next time with your veins, I'll have to start taking blood from your wrists". Ummm, what?? We told our main nurse who was furious and told me to never allow her to take my blood from anywhere, but my veins and if I had to wait for another nurse to come off of a break or leave a procedure, to do so. So bizarre that she's the one that remained! 
How are you feeling since your loss? 

J1006

@suchaglencoco. Thanks for that suggestion!  I will definitely do that. Especially since I'm the type of person who thinks I don't have any questions and then I get home and have a million! 

@steph8986. We have an MFI diagnosis (low count, low motility, very low morphology), however, they are unsure if everything is okay with me. We did four IUIs with donor sperm and according to the doctor we were working with "it should have worked."  All of my testing as come back normal.   We will be doing IVF with ICSI.  

LadyMillil

Some other questions @steph8986

odds of success and MC? 
Fresh transfer or FET? do they have different success rates? If FET, when would that occur?
do you require any further testing?
Risks to you of the procedures/meds? 
Are you at risk of OHSS and if so, how will they minimize this risk or monitor you?
How many eggs are they expecting? If you have a low number of eggs retrieved do they recommend ICSI to increase fertilization? 
Risks to the baby?
What does the IVF fee cover? Ultrasounds/bloodwork/freezing/AH
Is there any money back guarantee or discount for paying in cash?

Regarding ICSI: my RE recommends doing half the eggs with ICSI if you've had no natural pregnancies regardless of diagnosis in case there is a fertilization issue. In addition, they automatically do ICSI if you have 5 or fewer eggs retrieved to maximize fertilization 

mockingjay1

@dmo1371, thank you. We honestly went and visited our favorite nurse before she left and we cried. And then when our original RE left, we went to visit her and we cried. We built up a relationship over those 14 months of using them that it's hard to imagine doing that again. Like I saw them way more often than I saw my family. And they still have 1 nurse that remained and I cannot stand her. I have great veins for drawing blood, a weird thing to say, but I've honestly gotten complimented on it by several people throughout my lifetime. This one nurse could never get the needle in for bloodwork and then told me "I'm sorry, but if I struggle the next time with your veins, I'll have to start taking blood from your wrists". Ummm, what?? We told our main nurse who was furious and told me to never allow her to take my blood from anywhere, but my veins and if I had to wait for another nurse to come off of a break or leave a procedure, to do so. So bizarre that she's the one that remained! 

How are you feeling since your loss? 

@suchaglencoco -  I'm feeling pretty good most days right now. There are plenty of moments of sadness (I was due in March and the March pregnancy announcements on fbook and IRL are rolling in), but overall I think I'm doing pretty well. I'm taking advantage of our couple months off by trying to lose 15-20lbs. I'm hoping to get the results of the testing we had done back this next week. We'll see how I'm doing after that. I think if it's an aneuploidy issue I'll have an easier time dealing with the loss. 

I'm so sorry that nurse is so bad. Sounds like she isn't very good at blood draws and isn't very friendly! I hope the rest of the staff is just as great as the old staff!

mrsjcrane

I think I've finally found a place that I fit here. I've been lurking but it seems like people are so much further in this process than I am. 
*TW - loss mentioned*
I'm 6 weeks out from a D&C after finding out I had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. This was my second miscarriage plus we tried for 16 months (2 rounds of femara) before getting pregnant. So I started working with a RE at the beginning of the month. I am still waiting on chromosome testing from my D&C but my other blood work just came back normal thank goodness (basic clotting stuff, AMH, thyroid testing). I had a sonohysterogram that showed a large polyp that will have to be removed before proceeding with TTC. I'm back on birth control until the surgery scheduled for October 10th, which feels like a million years away. I'm currently very frustrated with the waiting process plus birth control is really messing with my body. Im just ready to move forward but it sounds like that's a common issue around here! 

[Deleted User]

@mrsjcrane. Welcome!  Yeah, waiting to have a polyp removed is a pain, but it happens a lot, apparently. :/  So sorry for your loss.  I hope you get some answers soon, too. ❤

@dmo1371. Nice to meet you!  So sorry for your loss as well.  How long before you can expect to hear back on your test results?  Hope you find some peace, whatever the outcome may be... (((Hugs)))

suchaglencoco

@dmo1371, I'm so sorry the announcements are coming out now. It is definitely hard to see these on social media. I ended up blocking anyone who made announcements around that time. Too hard to watch their progress for me.
I think it's great you have an active plan for the time off to hopefully have the days go by faster. 

@mrsjcrane, welcome. I'm sorry for your losses and I'm sorry we have to meet this way, but I'm glad you have come out of lurking!
I'm also happy that you're seeing an RE and hope it'll help everything progress faster for you.
Do you have an action plan for after the surgery? 

**edited because TB ate half my post.

adirat

@mrsjcrane I'm sorry for your loss. I know just how horrible those announcements can be for your mental health. I wish I could tell you I have some tips, but I don't...I still struggle Good luck and I'm so hopeful the RE can help you move forward.

mrsjcrane

@suchaglencoco Not really sure of the action plan at this point unfortunately. If the chromosome testing from the d&c comes back abnormal, DH and I will have to have genetic testing done to make sure we don't any abnormalities. If that comes back normal, then I think will proceed with femara and monitored cycles (crossing my fingers that this is the way it goes). If abnormal, then I think we will need to go to IVF with PDG (I think that's what it is called). My RE said that we didn't absolutely have to go to that right away but the risk of miscarriage if we both carry an abnormal gene is high. I'm hoping the chromosome testing comes back soon so we can move forward with additional testing while I'm waiting for the surgery. Uggh, just so much waiting and its driving my type A personality crazy. Plus I've almost met my out of pocket max for my insurance company so I need to get the most I can done before the end of the year - luckily my insurance covers some fertility stuff.

@dmo1371 I'm also trying to lose 20 pounds in my waiting period. It at least makes me feel like I'm doing something! Good luck to you!

suchaglencoco

@mrsjcrane, the unknown parts of the waiting game are the worst. Fingers crossed the tests come back normal. 

mockingjay1

@mrsjcrane - I'm sorry for your losses. Does the RE think the polyp could have anything to do with them? I hope you get some answers soon. The waiting is so hard.

@BusinessWife - nice to officially meet you too My RE said 2-3 weeks to get the results back (today is 3 weeks). The nurse called to tell me my hcg level is 3 so no more lab draws for a while. She said the results weren't back yet, so if I haven't heard anything by next week I'll call.

suchaglencoco

It's been a week since this thread has started, which means we're done with 1 week of waiting. How is everyone doing? 
Anyone have any updates?
Would anyone like to do daily or weekly GTKY questions?

mrsjcrane

Blah, still impatiently waiting on surgery. RE called and wanted me to start meformin. They said I'm insulin resistant and this will help with regulating hormones when we start trying again. Although I think the test was skewed because I ate a big peice of cake right before the blood work. I've heard good things about metformin with fertility anyways so I started taking it last night. 

@dmo1371 RE wasn't exactly sure if that's what caused the miscarriage but definitely said it's a problem moving forward! Here's to hoping the surgery is my big fix!

mockingjay1

@mrsjcrane - If the doctor called you insulin resistant I would guess they drew a hemoglobin a1c vs a one time blood glucose level. A hemoglobin a1c looks at your blood sugar levels over a few months time. My blood glucose levels are always normal when I get them checked so my family practice doc didn't want to order an ha1c. My RE did and it was higher than it should be so I am on metformin too. My PCOS is probably too severe for it to make me ovulate, but I'm hoping it will help with other PCOS symptoms and with weight loss. 

mrsjcrane

@dmo1371 My glucose was actually normal, especially after eating. I've always had normal a1c's (haven't had one in a year but required for my insurance company earlier - another one coming up soon). But apparently, my body over makes insulin and can't use it properly. I'm still having a hard time wrapping my mind around all of it (which is sad because I'm a nurse practitioner). Either way I need to cut carbs/sugar and lose weight! 

*TW* 
I finally got the results back from my chromosome testing from my miscarriage. It was a girl with trisomy 21 and inversion of chromosome 9. Likely just a fluke per my RE but definitely the cause of my miscarriage. 

Edited 3 times because this stupid thing kept eating half of my post!! 

adirat

@mrsjcrane I'm sorry for your loss. I hope knowing the reason brings you some small level of comfort/closure. 

@suchaglencoco Thanks for noting it's been a week -- the time feels interminable to me but hey a week's a week. 

Next week is when I can follow up about ivf scheduling so hopefully I will have an update then. (tw) I've been in a dark place the last day or two set off by receiving some mail from a formula company congratulating me on how near my due date is...like I needed that reminder about the baby I loved being gone. Sigh. (end tw) I hope you are all faring better and hope to read some happier updates from you ladies this week  

steph8986

Hello all! Waiting still sucks, though I had my Consult today and it went very well. We got all of our questions answered, talked out the best plan of action per my RE, signed consents, and got our schedule for Oct/Nov cycle. They drew like 8 vials of blood for all the STD testing that is required, and now I'm really not excited for all the bloodwork that will be required during the Stim period. We decided on ICSI due to slightly low morphology (but excellent everything else), and the fact that I've never been pregnant at any point. RE recommended ICSI. She said she didn't feel the need for us to do the PGS testing as I'm young yet. We will follow her recommendation for freezing all and going on Lupron following retrieval and doing FET in January. The only thing I was slightly bummed about was that she pretty strongly recommends only transferring 1 embryo for our first. I was kinda getting excited about prospective twins in my head, but her rationale is good, and DH sided with her because she mentioned the cost of daycare haha. Now I don't get to do much but keep doing the BD and hope that a spontaneous pregnancy happens before then. We'll order meds the beginning of October and start stims towards the end of Oct. Approximate Nov 9th retrieval.  More waiting...

FloridaStanley

Heyyyy waiting here too.
Currently 7dpo, if I don't get pregnant this cycle then I get femara next, just with TI. My RE wants to try that for a few cycles before jumping to IUI. I was feeling a bit left out without being able to participate in the IUI/IVF threads. So this is nice  

suchaglencoco

@mrsjcrane I am glad your test results came back so you have a little most knowledge, but I know it doesn’t really seem to help with the sting of the loss.

@adirat a week is a week! Time seems to go so slow that I like to remind myself sometimes how much time has actually passed so I keep from getting frustrated. Luckily my days now seem to go quicker than they did the last time, but not by much.

I am sorry about the formula company sending you things. It definitely is an extra kick in the jaw that you don’t need.

@steph8986 so glad your consult went well! Honestly, the bloodwork will be second nature in a few weeks, but I always get so frustrated when they have to test us for xyz. I get that they want us to be healthy and take all precautions, but it’s obnoxious that our timeline can be pushed back for something minor when other people with more severe health issues can accidentally get pregnant and not even keep the baby. Just frustrating how it all pans out in the end. I ended up getting pushed back a month or so because my MMR vaccine had worn off so I needed to have it redone and then wait the 30 day period before starting any treatments.

I think freezing is a good idea. It gives the body time to rest and to go back to normal a bit. As for the one vs two dilemma, I am totally on your side about that! Both times I had them transfer 2 and the first time was against the RE’s recommendations because they thought both would take. My feeling was “hey man, this is a lot of work and a lot of money so the more the merrier!”

AND SO EXCITING that you have a potential retrieval date! Now you can start an official countdown!

@floridastanley welcome to the waiting room! I am sorry you are here, but at least we have one more person to commiserate with!

suchaglencoco

A little GTKY question-
What do you do when you're down that helps perk you back up?  If you had more money, would you do something else to perk you back up?


Honestly, I shop. I don't do it on purpose, it just happens. I'll wander around stores and pick out stuff for random people that I wish I could buy to brighten their day had I had the finances to do so. Sometimes I buy myself some things and go a little over budget. The last time we were trying, I was so down in the dumps that DH took me to a dog rescue event. He then was 100% surprised when we can home with a puppy. He couldn't believe I'd made that rash of a decision and didn't think I'd actually do it when he said "it's up to you". He was actually mad at me for a month or 2, but now he is such a sweetheart and fun dog that we can't imagine life without him.
And now I also try to hit the gym when I am really frustrated or down. I didn't think I'd turn into one of "those people", but I totally am. It's one of those kickboxing gyms so I really get to hit stuff until I feel better. I am hoping my meds don't take away my ability to do that. 

**edited because TB keeps eating my posts

steph8986

@suchaglencoco I am also a gym person. It was tough in the Spring when doing some medicated IUI's and then had to take almost a month off after surgery, but It really helps get those endorphin's going to help combat any depression. I'm an all or nothing gal. I either give into the despair and lie in bed for a day eating junk and watching shows (usually day 1 of my period), or I go all out for distraction and hit the gym, train my dogs, clean my house, work on misc projects until I pass out from exhaustion. There really isn't an in between haha.

[Deleted User]

@suchaglencoco i have to be careful with the shopping and wanting to buy things - for others too! Not just myself.  TBH, I have coped with a lot of our IF struggle over the past two years by buying cloth diapers. Lol. I have my whole stash ready to go and only just had our first retrieval today.  Crazy, right?

mrsjcrane

@BusinessWife Not crazy! I considered buying a little pair of baby toms that I really wanted as like a symbol of hope. ***********TW*********However, I wasn't sure if it would just worsen my depression after our loss as it was the pair of shoes I was thinking of using with our pregnancy announcement that never happened. I might still buy them though. *end TW* 
how did the retrevial go?