Intro.. loss after infertility mentioned

lexidawg

It's with a super heavy heart that I join you all. After 14 months of fertility treatments that included 4 cancelled IVF cycles due to no response and 4 IUI's with BFN's, my husband and I took a break and got miraculously pregnant on vacation.  At 7 weeks, we found out that it was a blighted ovum and my hcg was dropping.  I went forward with a D&C on August 11th and have just felt lost since.  

I know we still dream of our take home baby, but with Premature Ovarian Failure, being 40 and a blighted ovum likely caused by bad eggs, I have no clue what our next steps will be.  I just don't have it in me to continue treatments.  It's not how I got pregnant anyway.

I find that I am still very much in a state of grief and mourning.  I don't know when that will change.  I know we will TTC on our own when we get clearance, but it is so very hard to have hope at this point.

I am so sorry that you are all here on this board. I wouldn't wish loss on my worst enemy.

Mack2342

I'm so sorry for your loss.   I'm 42 and currently waiting to do IUI with injections.  This process is extremely hard and then when you add age factor you feel so pressured or at least I do.  It's hard though to think about the next step though when you are still grieving.  Give yourself some time to process.  Again I'm so sorry you are here 

ELeighMay

I am so very sorry for your loss. 

vlagrl29

I'm sorry for your loss 

sprkls8506

I'm sorry for your loss

robyn2201

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it sounds cliche but time really does help with the grief. There will be bad days and then good. And hopefully more good days then bad as time goes on. 

dpjennifer

So sorry for your loss. MC is awful, and it's even worse when you think about all the struggles you took to even get PG.  
Virtual hug

tosh24

I'm so sorry for your loss. It took DH and I 4.5 years to get pregnant with our first loss (and I ended up getting pregnant naturally too) so I know how the high of a "miracle" can then make the hole created by the loss just seem that much harder to climb out of. I am in a similar position to you right now, but for me it's DH that doesn't want to continue with treatments.

Give yourself time to grieve. Time will pass and the pain will not be as acute, but for me personally, I don't like to think that time heals. Time passes and you have to learn how to live with the loss and move on, but I know I will always feel it in some way and that's OK.

Wishing you peace. 

vlagrl29

4.5 years @tosh24 - wow!  I understand why you want treatments now as I wouldn't want to wait that long again.

GeekBeagle

So sorry for your loss.

j2415

Hi, I’m so sorry for your loss. Before I got pregnant, I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. It took me 2 years to get pregnant through infertility treatments. I took countless Clomid, had fertility shots and surgery. It was not an easy journey but thankfully I got pregnant. I will be praying for you that you will have your heart’s desire to have a child. I hope you will be comforted everyday as your grieve. Update us please. Thank you for sharing.

j2415

@Mack2342

Hoping for the success of your IUI. It also took me 2 years to get pregnant and had to go through a lot of treatments. I will be praying for you.

Mack2342

Thanks @j2415

pumpkinpancake

So sorry for your loss and that you find yourself here. I know it is so hard when you've been struggling to get pregnant, but I hope your stay here is short. 

cseley321

So sorry for your loss. I know the infertility struggle, and as others mentioned it will take some time to grieve and heal, but don't lose all hope. Sorry again for your loss.