How Do You Stay Sane? *TW*

Worldtravler0522

Removing text because I posted on the wrong board

tosh24

Might I suggest the Pregnant After a Loss board? You may get more of a welcome there as all of the ladies here are still TTC after a loss and some ladies have never been pregnant after a loss, so PGAL brain is not something all of us have experience with. 

I'm so sorry for your losses. Any loss is awful but loss coupled with IF adds a whole other set of emotions and anxieties to the mix. Have you looked into seeing a therapist who specializes in infertility and miscarriage? Might help to just talk/cry through things and put your anxieties out there. I'm in the process of looking for one right now. I figure at the very least, it can't hurt. I know therapists dealing with this subject matter also see patients who are pregnant after loss to help them through those emotions as well.

Please tell me not to stick my nose where it doesn't belong if you'd rather not share, but does your RE have any insight into what may be going on? I'm assuming you've done the whole RPL work up by now? Has a change in protocol from your previous FETs been suggested? IF is so hard because there is so much that's out of your control. When I was PGAL, I found that I just had to get to a place where I accepted that fact that I was controlling as much of my situation as I could but that I couldn't stop a loss from happening. Taking deep breaths, trying to retrain my automatic negative thought pattern (a therapist can help with this), and just living in the moment and not worrying about the "what ifs" because if they're going to happen, they're going to happen whether you worry about them or not. 

Worldtravler0522

I apologize for posting on the TTC board I guess I never really have considered myself graduated since I am still working on making it past the 8 week mark. I am so numbed because of the losses I have had that seeing the 2nd line doesn't really mean the same thing to me that it does to others so I misspoke.  I will have the admins remove the post.  I appreciate the advice though. 

justsuzie

@tosh24 best advice....you can only control so much. 

dpjennifer

Worldtravler0522 I missed your original post, but can gather some of what it may have said from other responses. It sounds like we may be in semi-similar boats, as I've had 4 losses as well and all early on. Those 2 lines on a test also don't mean the same thing to me as well. I won't truly consider myself 'there' until I see my betas doubling, and a heartbeat on the 7 week ultrasound. (neither of which I've ever seen). Although I'm benched for now, and am no success story, the only thing that keeps me going is that after I see those lines, I tell myself that "I am pregnant TODAY. No matter what happens tomorrow." Also, I'm on 'happy' pills and I see a therapist, which helps me greatly. If you don't have a therapist, I'd highly recommend it! Mine helps me stay sane through the TTCAL journey; through the depression, and the anxiety of it all.

Worldtravler0522

@dpjennifer thanks for the advice, I'm happy/sad to hear someone else feels the same way I do when you see the second line.  My therapist is a huge help too unfortunately I haven't seen her in almost a month because of other commitments but I go back again soon.  I hope you get your sticky baby soon!