Aaaand I'm back (TW loss mentioned)

tosh24

Hi Ladies,

I'm feeling ready to jump back in on the monthly procedure/TWW threads so I thought I'd re-intro though I haven't been gone long. I got a late BFP with my 3rd IUI in June and a few weeks later in July, when I should have been about 7 weeks, the u/s could only detect a wonky looking sac and some fluid in my uterus. I stopped the progesterone and miscarried naturally. I've been doing much better with this loss than my previous one, but the current loss has brought up a lot of hurt and anger over my first miscarriage (I was 9w along and baby was perfect until I contracted parvovirus and developed a massive SCH). I think that one will hurt until the day I die. 

It looks as if I'm Oing right about now so DH and I are just trying naturally this cycle but realistically, after 5 years, I'm not holding my breath. My RE thinks I should try a couple more IUIs since technically, I did get pregnant, so that's what we'll be doing next cycle. I'm waiting on insurance to determine whether they're going to cover IVF so I'm keeping my FX that they agree so we can move forward with that if the IUIs don't work out. 

Glad to see a lot of ladies have moved on while I was away and FX for the rest of us.

Here's to climbing back on the treatment train...



(Edited because my gif wasn't working)

suchaglencoco

Tw- loss mentioned 


@tosh24, I am so sorry for your losses. We also suffered a loss after fertility treatments (ivf) and for some reason, it was also easier on us than our first loss was. I don't know if it's because we were already involved with a clinic so we knew we could "easily" start again and have more knowledge going into it or because we had already had suffered a loss and knew we'd be alright or what it was. For some reason, it was just easier, yet still incredibly heart breaking.

I'll cross my fingers that your insurance company will cover ivf if it comes to that for you.

Cowboycorgi

@tosh24

TW: 

I am so sorry to see you back, heartbreaking. I just found out that my massive SCH has taken 1 of my twins and will likely take the other soon, so I understand the feelings of grief and anger over losing a perfectly healthy baby. 

I think you are awesome jumping back in the saddle so soon. I'm sure you are physically and emotionally drained, but still fighting hard for that take home baby! Good luck

funkykey

@tosh24 - I'm so sorry. Sending you lots of good vibes and hoping that your treatment train is not going to be much longer!

tosh24

@suchaglencoco Thank you. I'm sorry that you're a loss mama too. I definitely think that already having an RE and being set up to jump right back in has helped. Also, not having the pregnancy progress as far and seeing a heartbeat and a wiggling baby like the first time probably made me a little less "attached" to this pregnancy specifically. I was happy to read on your re-intro that you were able to have your rainbow babies. I hope your upcoming FET appointment goes well and the first time is the charm  

@funkykey Thank you! Good luck with your upcoming FET. I hope you get off the treatment train at the next stop!

@Cowboycorgi I am so, so sad to read this. I am so sorry. The universe is completely unfair sometimes. I am sorry that you've lost one of your babies, and I am wishing with everything I have for a miracle that your other baby makes it through and your SCH stops growing and starts to shrink. I know sometimes it sucks to hear other people's optimism because the IF journey really forces us to be realistic and keep any shred of hope safely locked up lest it get out of control and cause more disappointment. But I have to believe that sometimes, sh*t just goes right and I'm really hoping that this is one of those times. 

suchaglencoco

@Cowboycorgi, that just breaks my heart. I'm so sorry for your loss and I'll pray the other twin can survive the sch. 


@tosh24, thank you. Our rainbow babies have definitely been worth the heartaches. 

Hopeful_mom

@tosh24 glad to see you're back in the saddle and wishing you the best of luck!!  Love the good wife, I miss that show!  I need to see the spin off they did on whatever that cbs app is called

cryssieaddis

I am so sorry for your loss! I know this is a difficult time! I wanted to ask if you are on a special fertility diet that can help better your chances? 

tosh24

KZ1126

@tosh24   Sorry about your loss  
This is the most perfect meme ever though!!! Love your positive attitude!

tosh24

@KZ1126 Thank you. I'm sorry that you are also dealing with multiple losses. 

suchaglencoco

@tosh24, how have you been doing?

tosh24

@suchaglencoco OK, I guess. CD 3 today so starting meds for my next cycle tonight. I hope this one is it because I don't think DH can hang on much longer. My protocol has been changed so I'm hoping I don't overstim and get cancelled. FX for just the right amount of good quality eggs

How have you been doing with the wait for your consult? 

suchaglencoco

I'll cross my fingers and toes for you! 
I know we get all of the dirty work with being the women, but our husbands sure get put through the wringer along with us. Some days I think it's harder for them to watch us do some of the shots and things than it is for us to do it.


Tw- children mentioned
I'm doing ok with the wait for now. I assume I'll need to redo a few tests, run some bloodwork, go through our potential protocol, and then wait some more. 
I'm actually getting more nervous about doing shots around the kids. They're too young to understand, but old enough to be curious and maybe making memories.