We told our boys last night! We were both so nervous. My husband started by asking our 18 yr old when he finishes his first year of college, which happens to be a few weeks after the due date. Then told him he might be busy when he got back. They were in shock. The 16 yr old looked disgusted. Lol! Our 3 yr old is so cute though. He keeps asking when the baby is coming out so he can hold the baby, rock it and babysit.
We told our boys last night! We were both so nervous. My husband started by asking our 18 yr old when he finishes his first year of college, which happens to be a few weeks after the due date. Then told him he might be busy when he got back. They were in shock. The 16 yr old looked disgusted. Lol! Our 3 yr old is so cute though. He keeps asking when the baby is coming out so he can hold the baby, rock it and babysit.
This is exactly how is see it playing out here too. I don't expect the 15 going on 16yo to be thrilled
Maybe I missed some comments but any ideas on how to tell a friend or family member who is struggling with infertility that you're pregnant? I have a girlfriend who we aren't as close as we used to be but close enough she deserves to find out before a general Facebook announcement. I feel like face to face could be bad cause when I told her I was trying she said "you're kidding?? Your husband barely survived 2." So maybe I should text or do a phone call?
@kindbytealikat did you think of how to tell your sister in law? I wish I had a good idea for you
It's my sister, I mistyped the OG post, and not really. I'm going to announce next week after our U/S with a picture of DS reading a "new baby " book. I think I'm going to put a sign next to him saying April 2018. If she asking specifics I'll say early April. If she's ask specific date I'll tell her but I'll try to keep it vague and I think she'll understand why. I may also see what my mom thinks after we tell.
@lesliegolem I think face to face is always best. One of my friends when she got pregnant showed me extra sensitivity because she knew we had been trying for awhile, and that was helpful. I wouldn't make the evening revolve around telling her, but maybe pull her aside toward the end if an evening event. The only thing I would refrain from saying is making comments about how quickly you got pregnant or you wish you had gotten to spend more time trying. These are always hurtful to people with fertility problems, because it is a boast about the thing that they want the most.
I had a funny moment with my husband last night. He was telling a story about how the guys at work were kidding him about when we were going to have another kid and he said, "April." They were all really surprised. So I looked at him and said slowly, "Do your mom and dad know yet?" Him: "Um, no." Me: "So you told your coworkers before you told your mom. When you do tell her, leave that part out."
Me: 35, Hubbie: 33 Married DH: 2013 DD: Dec 2015 BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
@lesliegolem wondering the same thing... one of my cousins experienced a few losses recently and I don't know how to tell her. I think I might send a personal text? We never talk on the phone so it would be odd to call.
@fishsticks-n-custard that is hilarious. I actually told one of my co-workers but haven't told my mom yet! :x
Maybe I missed some comments but any ideas on how to tell a friend or family member who is struggling with infertility that you're pregnant? I have a girlfriend who we aren't as close as we used to be but close enough she deserves to find out before a general Facebook announcement. I feel like face to face could be bad cause when I told her I was trying she said "you're kidding?? Your husband barely survived 2." So maybe I should text or do a phone call?
I have a good friend who is dealing with infertility and during a conversation in the past she had mentioned that she much preferred a text so she could deal with it in her own way without offending the person sharing the news.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Married April 9, 2011
TTC since October 2011
Me 34, DH 40
IUI #5 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture Oct 24, 2014-->BFP!!! EDD July 17, 2015. Panorama=low risk...and it's a GIRL! DD born July 10, 2015 -------------------------------------------------------- Trying for baby #2! IUI #1 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture July 10, 2017-->BFP!!! EDD Apr 2, 2018. Panorama=low risk...and another GIRL!
As for telling someone with infertility issues, unless you are super close (like a sister or something). I would tell through phone call or text, that way they can help their emotions.
I know my struggle with infertility was shorter than most, but Dh's bff's wife and his brother's girlfriend both accidentally got pregnant with their 3rd children while we were trying. While I was thrilled for them, it hurt and it wasn't pretty.
Maybe I missed some comments but any ideas on how to tell a friend or family member who is struggling with infertility that you're pregnant? I have a girlfriend who we aren't as close as we used to be but close enough she deserves to find out before a general Facebook announcement. I feel like face to face could be bad cause when I told her I was trying she said "you're kidding?? Your husband barely survived 2." So maybe I should text or do a phone call?
I have to agree with @holly321@StephieMK here. As someone who personally struggled for 17 months with lots of failed treatment, I think it is better to be able to process that kind of information in private. I clearly remember the day my friend told me about her accidental pregnancy on a CD1 for me after months and months of trying. Of course I was thrilled for them but I was also devastated for myself that day. It was over the phone and I was incredibly grateful to be able to hang up and cry. If she is open about her IF, I might also ask how she is doing that day before giving your good news.
Thanks ladies I really appreciate all the advice! This has been really on my mind. When I got pregnant with my 2nd she had a hard time so really wasn't sure how to handle it this time. We got pregnant the 1st time together so think that makes it harder.
@lesliegolem After our TW -- loss, and the months in between while we were trying and struggling, yes Facebook annoucements definitely hurt but I have to say the in-person announcements were even harder. I did much better with text or phone calls because it allowed me not to worry about my facial expression and feel what I needed to feel before I could be happy for the person.
We told my parents and mil my fil is remarried and We are telling them after our first us. I had a miscarriage in Feb and didnt tell anybody and felt really alone. Then i read an article about celebrating every minute you have and if the unfortunate happens you have a great support group. That doesn't mean I am telling everyone but parents and best friend.
Lots of cute stories on sharing the news here! I'm over here googling if it's safe to wear spanks and trying to hide it as long as possible. Tw With my my first pregnancy I told the world and fb after our first ultrasound at 7 weeks, then miscarried and had to share that news with fb and the world. End tw
With my second pregnancy I decided any future mcs were not going to be public knowledge. Nobody else cared and it just made things awkward and uncomfortable for a long time so we kept it a secret until after the anatomy scan (21 weeks) for everyone except my best friend and dh. Then we told family and announced on fb.
Tw With my third pregnancy we were operating under the same philosophy as #2, wait as long as possible. I miscarried at 6 weeks and even kept that a secret until 7 months later when i made a vague reference to it on fb.
my fourth pregnancy I was pretty convinced odds were stacked against me (more losses than babies) so I never posted to fb until 3 days after he was born and again told my bff right away and held off for everyone else until anatomy scan. End tw
This is is pregnancy number 5. I'm hoping to wait for the anatomy scan again, but I know I may show sooner or not make it that far. I've also had confounding variable that SIL announced they're expecting their first in April so I will be extra cautious not to steal any attention from her time.
Re: Announcing to family
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
Married DH: 2013
DD: Dec 2015
BFP 8/14/17 --> Due 4/27/2018
@fishsticks-n-custard that is hilarious. I actually told one of my co-workers but haven't told my mom yet! :x
Married April 9, 2011
TTC since October 2011
Me 34, DH 40
IUI #5 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture Oct 24, 2014-->BFP!!! EDD July 17, 2015. Panorama=low risk...and it's a GIRL!
DD born July 10, 2015
--------------------------------------------------------
Trying for baby #2!
IUI #1 w/ Tamoxifen+Ovidrel+Acupuncture July 10, 2017-->BFP!!! EDD Apr 2, 2018. Panorama=low risk...and another GIRL!
I know my struggle with infertility was shorter than most, but Dh's bff's wife and his brother's girlfriend both accidentally got pregnant with their 3rd children while we were trying. While I was thrilled for them, it hurt and it wasn't pretty.
Tw
With my my first pregnancy I told the world and fb after our first ultrasound at 7 weeks, then miscarried and had to share that news with fb and the world. End tw
With my second pregnancy I decided any future mcs were not going to be public knowledge. Nobody else cared and it just made things awkward and uncomfortable for a long time so we kept it a secret until after the anatomy scan (21 weeks) for everyone except my best friend and dh. Then we told family and announced on fb.
Tw With my third pregnancy we were operating under the same philosophy as #2, wait as long as possible. I miscarried at 6 weeks and even kept that a secret until 7 months later when i made a vague reference to it on fb.
my fourth pregnancy I was pretty convinced odds were stacked against me (more losses than babies) so I never posted to fb until 3 days after he was born and again told my bff right away and held off for everyone else until anatomy scan. End tw
This is is pregnancy number 5. I'm hoping to wait for the anatomy scan again, but I know I may show sooner or not make it that far. I've also had confounding variable that SIL announced they're expecting their first in April so I will be extra cautious not to steal any attention from her time.