I don't have enough eggs. Can I get pregnant?

richie132

Hi everyone, I hope you're doing well. Previously, I was doing some modeling projects. But now, I'm completely out of it. Being a model means you just can't compromise on your figure (physical appearance). I'm 36 now, a married woman. I started modeling after my college. When I was 28, I married my husband after dating him for almost two years. He's a self-employed individual. After two years of our marriage,  he asked me to have our first baby. I was 30 at that time, doing some modeling projects. I was a stupid, and I said a big NO. He kept asking me for that. I just wanted to make a name for myself. I was not ready for a baby, it could've ruined my modeling career. I asked him to give me some time.

On 2015, I met with a car accident. I was out from the modeling for three months. After a successful health recovery, I decided to quit from modeling and make my husband's dream come true. We tried it but failed miserably. We tried it again, the same result, i.e. failure. We consulted our doctor. She asked us to do some tests. We did the same and got the reports. The report said I can't be pregnant. I can't produce as many eggs needed to be pregnant. So the thing is that I'm infertile, but my husband is perfectly fine. He can make babies. Our doctor has advised us to take some medical help. We've consulted a few fertility experts so far. According to them, we can try egg donation through IVF and surrogacy.

Considering my health condition (after that accident), my husband is not ready to take any chance. He doesn't want me to deliver a baby. Instead, he's interested in surrogacy. And I'm not mentally prepared to have a baby through surrogacy. I'm just confused as hell. No idea what I should do. How should I deal with this situation?

beth_brown12

Hi richie132, I am very sorry about your situation. I know the news can be very devastating. On the bright side, you still have many options. I suggest you consult a specialist, or visit a clinic. Alternatively you could speak to a counselor (I did the same) if it emotionally very stressing. Good luck to you, and I hope you guys find your happiness soon enough!

Hopeful_mom

richie132 HI welcome and sorry you find yourself here.  Is it from the accident that you can't carry a baby and use Donor Eggs.  I'm sure your dr are good and have gone through all the options with you as there are many in infertility land.  There's a thread on here called IVF with Donor Eggs and I think there are some woman that are looking to use a surrogate in there.  I know in a thread not our first ivf rodeo a woman is using a surrogate and has already started the process.  I just find sometimes reading through the process from others can help.
The way that you probably researched IF is the same way you will attack this next chapter in your life.  Best of luck to you!

mtpbadger maybe you can add some insight...

KLake42

So your husband was okay with you trying to get pregnant, until the issue of egg donation came up? 

Receiving an embryo transfer (which is what happens with a donor egg) is not much more stressful at all than getting pregnant through sex. I'm currently pregnant after an embryo transfer, after my wife provided the eggs. 

I'm just confused about why you being pregnant was okay with him, and then not okay. Using a surrogate does cause the costs to increase a great deal, unless you have a sister or close friend who is willing.

Hopeful_mom

KLake42  (TW)  OMG identical twins I totally missed that update, wow!!!  Thats awesome!  Wanted to say congrats I remember your journey, such great news!  All the best, hope you're feeling great!

sammymommy89

@richie132 I totally understand how you feel. But with all the advances in medicine, you have many chances to become a mother. I'd suggest you go to a full medical examination and consult a doctor with at least 10-year experience. He'll tell you if it's safe for you to get pregnant with DE. 

I've been there too and my doctor said it's dangerous if I will be the one carrying the child. He suggested us surrogacy. At first, it sounded like nonsense, as I couldn't imagine someone else giving birth to my child. But we've been digging in the topic for months and I must tell it has lots of pros. At least you will be sure a healthy and experienced woman will be carrying your baby. Ofc you should choose a clinic where only women who are already mothers can be surrogacies. And you can see the woman who'll be your donor, cuz in IVF with DE it's always impossible to know who's a donor, you'll only have a portfolio and description.

Anyways, I found a lot of + in surrogacy. But if you're planning to do it in the US it'll be much more expensive. I'm thinking to go abroad for the procedure. But if you still choose IVF you can ship frozen eggs from another country and it will be cheaper. Hope this helps you. I will be happy to share my own experience as I proceed with surrogacy
GL to you, I believe everything will be fine!

loui_helen

After reading your tragedy, I'm feeling very bad for you. I know you're going through a very difficult time in your life. This is very painful, and I can understand that. All I can say here, may God give you enough strength to overcome this painful situation. 

Why doesn't your husband want you to get pregnant? Aren't you healthy enough to carry a baby by your own and deliver it? Your husband is little bit worried about you, I can understand that. He truly loves you, he cares for you. But he's showing interest only towards surrogacy, this would make no sense here if you're perfectly fine (healthy). Since you don't have enough eggs, an egg donor is the only one who can help you here. Egg donor will give you the eggs by which you can get pregnant. And if you're not healthy enough, in that condition, too, you need an egg donor. She'll donate her eggs, and then you need a surrogate mother who'll carry this process forward. And after nine months, you can have a baby. I would suggest you to consult your doctor and ask him/her if you can get pregnant via egg donation. If he/she asks you not to get pregnant because you're weak, then I think surrogacy can help you. You should read about IVF in detail since it's the most important thing in your case. The IVF cost may vary country to country.

Best of luck!

richie132

Thanks for the replies people, I really appreciate it. My gynaecologist says it's perfectly fine if I can get pregnant through donor's eggs. I would face no such issues. She advised me to take my husband for a counselling. That idea really helped us, and now my husband has no problem if I use donor's eggs. 

But I've heard a lot about IVF failures. Is it true? What if my very first IVF fails? Will surrogacy, then, be the last option for us?

cseley321

The way IVF works is they harvest eggs (donor eggs in your case). They will use your husband's sperm to fertilize as many as possible and see which ones make it through okay (from 3-5 days usually). After that they will transfer 1 or 2 into you and freeze the rest. If the fresh transfer doesn't work, the next step is a frozen embryo transfer  (FET) where they defrost one of the frozen embryos and transfer it to you. So basically to answer your question, after the first fresh transfer, you start doing frozen transfers. You get as many tries as you have embryos, so if you have 9 embryos, you would have 9 chances.

ETA - ivf success rates can vary depending on the condition you are suffering from. We all have different reasons for seeking IVF, so it's difficult to say what your chance of success is. But if your ONLY problem is you are a low producer of eggs, then I would think you have a good chance of being successful with IVF. 

dragonette505

Oh no!!! This has got to be biotex again!!!!
how do I know:
1. She's a model
2. She didn't want to ruin her figure
3. She was in a car accident
4. Her husband doesn't want her to carry babies
5. Her docs have told her she's infertile
i have to check and see if she also has the infertile cousin/sister 
 Classic biotex!!! It's always the same script!!!

FloridaStanley

dragonette505 said:

Oh no!!! This has got to be biotex again!!!!
how do I know:
1. She's a model
2. She didn't want to ruin her figure
3. She was in a car accident
4. Her husband doesn't want her to carry babies
5. Her docs have told her she's infertile
i have to check and see if she also has the infertile cousin/sister 
 Classic biotex!!! It's always the same script!!!

I don't know who that is but the whole OP was making my spidey senses go off. Seems trolly. 

adirat

@dragonette505 You forgot "posters whose English is bad in identical ways talk to each other with bizarre encouragement"

dragonette505

adirat said:

@dragonette505 You forgot "posters whose English is bad in identical ways talk to each other with bizarre encouragement"

Yas! I was boarding a flight so forgive the oversight! I legit meant to add: terrible translations from whatever original language it was written in.
im still convinced it's a man writing these!

cseley321

Yeah I think I am done resonding to these one off threads when it's kind of trolly. I like to give the benefit of the doubt, but it's just a tad creepy

tinjp78

@dragonette505 I don't know abt biotex but I feel they've created a game for me to play while waiting for my FET in October... 'spot the fake post' ... lol

dragonette505

@Crystal321 well we do get some legit one offs.... and since it's not the dailies, I think it's totes ok for us to pop on and encourage them to join us in our ivf, fet, AMH and de threads! But I'm starting to get the pattern of these surrogate scam site posters. It makes me mad when they come on here and take advantage of us.
@tinjp78 yep! I now try to read these posts and see if I detect any "biotex" in them!

FloridaStanley

tinjp78 said:

@dragonette505 I don't know abt biotex but I feel they've created a game for me to play while waiting for my FET in October... 'spot the fake post' ... lol

@tinjp78 oh that's a fun game!! 

cseley321

I just don't understand their end game by posting here and asking questions like this. Are they hoping to drive people towards using surrogacy?

dragonette505

@Crystal321 You know, I'm not 100% sure. I guess they figure theres got to be ladies who will need them so they just come on here and bomb us or something. Maybe also they think some of us are vain and don't want to carry our own babies (and thus lose our model bodies?)

adirat

@crystal321 @dragonette505 I think it must be one of those behavioral science ideas -- if you bombard someone with the name enough, then that name recognition comes to the front of people's attention if they need to turn to that side of things. Personally though I think it's despicable because it has emotionally hurt ladies here on the IF board, and I frankly can't believe the Admins let it go on.

dragonette505

@adirat Agreed!! It feels like wrong that they would let them continue to post. Maybe its just really hard to police?

tinjp78

A bit of good news though, I saw one post closed down yesterday because it went 'off topic', lol admin should have said it was 'a spam post'... oh well one thread down so it's good.

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