In-laws

Kmed2

We are due in mid November and my partner's family is very nearby while all of my family lives out of state. My in laws JUST booked a vacation to Cancun for two weeks at the beginning of December. We will be in charge of checking on their house and hosting their dog at our house while they're away. Normally I wouldn't mind one bit but with a newborn and cold weather starting to creep in, I can't help but feel that the timing will make things a little overwhelming.  I also have this nagging yet terrible thought in the back of my mind that because our baby isn't biologically linked (my wife and I used a donor and I'm carrying) they are less excited and/or don't feel a connection to our baby. I'm sure that once the baby is here, they will love him/her to pieces but I still feel a little shafted. When my SIL told them she was pregnant, they cancelled a trip to cuba with their friends that was going to happen a full 2 months before she was due. Now that her baby is here, they both blocked off from work so they can spend time bonding with the new baby and help out daily. Shortly after we have ours, we'll be on our own with a new baby and a dog, watering their plants lol. I know my hormones make me more sensitive and I'm probably reading too far into this..but I just feel a little hurt that they don't seem to care as much about our little one or how we'll be doing with the shift into parenthood. What do you guys think? Am I making mountains out of molehills??

Thanks for reading!

MaximumEffort

I'm sorry you are feeling hurt. My response is a bit blunt because i cannkt stand inconsiderate people. I have my own little issues with my parwbrs when it comes to treating me and my sister differently.
 Tell them you can't be doing all that work with a newborn. It is not your responsibility as an adult to look after your in-laws/her parents house and dog while you have your own life changing responsibility.
 My own parents are going out of town this week and while I'm only pregnant both DH and I work full-time and we have a kid. Mom found someone to water her plants and they will be boarding the dog. We did keep the dog right after we got married but it is old and makes messes and we have two of our own. 
There is nothing wrong looking out for your own sanity for when you have a newborn. Simply tell them that you dont think it will be a good fit to host their dog at your house as you don't know how it will react to a baby and you don't feel that you will be able to give it the attention it needs and that you dont think it feasible for you to be driving to their house. You will be tired, your wife will be tired.  If you really feel up to it tell them that you feel a little put aside that they instead of helping with the adjustment of a new life are asking for you to help them take a vacation.  

kwaldy

I think it's important to be upfront. (I should also take my own advice here). If it's not feasible for you to take care of their dog while trying to recover from delivery and bond with your new baby, you need to speak up. Otherwise you'll be resentful of them for a long time. It's important that you take care of yourself, even if their feelings might get hurt. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask them to either have someone else take care of the dog or board it, and have someone else check on the house. 

Karrotelle

I totally can understand why you feel the way you do. It seems strange to me that they would be willing to fly out of the country when you will have a new baby and could use their support, especially when they did it for the other sibling.

Secondly, I can speak from experience here as a 3rd/4th time Mom, you will NOT be up for that shit! Caring for someone else's dog and house is annoying and frustrating on a good day. With a newborn? Forget that shit. Seriously. You both will be exhausted and the last thing you need is MORE to deal with on your plates. I would be informing them that no, you will not be doing this for them and they need to hire someone. 

Best case scenario, you have a 4 week old when they leave, worst case scenario, you don't even have your baby yet! You could go overdue. You could have your baby the day they leave, or a few days before and be in the hospital wth your partner. Do you really want to have to worry about their dog and house at that time? Hells no! You and your partner want that time to bond with your baby and survive. Seriously.