This is kind of weird and maybe sort of a confession, but I like having my feet tickled. I have ever since I was a little kid. It relaxes me. I'd rather have them tickled than rubbed or scratched most days. If I get desperate, I'll do it myself.
@SouthernMama15 that is strange! my feet are so ticklish that I have a hard time putting some shoes on! If you remember those Adidas sandals with the bumps on the sole, I wanted them so badly, but I couldnt handle them! Massage is the way to go for me!
Ill be back later with an UO, cant think of one right now!
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@littlebug2010, the weird thing is that I'm extremely ticklish so if someone does it without me asking, I'll nearly kick them in the face. But just a light tickle with the tips of someone's fingers or nails is so relaxing to me. I would like a foot massage right now, though. When my sciatica acts up, I get foot cramps. Prenatal massage tonight!
Lately certain people in DH family are irritating me to the point I am not answering their text messages. I have low tolerance of people's bs and drama.
Oh I can't stand feet tickling... to the point where if DH even accidentally touches the soles of my feet (say while getting comfortable in bed) my reflex is to flail and kick him.
My UO today is that I hate when people spoil others' news on social media. My friend had her kid yesterday (yay! and 9 hours of labor, no complications) and though I knew because she was messaging a few of us gals during the adventure, I would never say anything publicly. Later in the afternoon some man (I think an uncle) posted a congratulatory message on her Facebook page. Anybody could see it, but my friend and her husband hadn't made it public at that point. Way to spoil the news, Uncle. A few years back another friend gave birth, but it was a mutual friend who "announced" it on Facebook about how excited she was for her bestie, etc etc. It's not your news to share!!
I'm sure this will get a few side eyes but I think your spouse should come before your kids.
I love my DD so incredibly much and I already love her brother the same but my relationship with my husband is more important. Obviously babies need a lot of attention and love, and I would do anything for them. The priorities are different when you have a newborn (clearly baby needs things and spouses have to be patient), that's not what I'm referrring. But I want to model a functional marriage to my children. And I don't want my children to be my entire world, that when they grow up and leave, I have no relationship with DH, hobbies, or passions.
@aehogan90 yes yes yes yes yes yes agreeed x10000. Don't care if people side eye, it's possible and important. DH will always be more important than LO.
@DeansGirl14 I know there are a ton of photos floating around FB and Pinterest that Ive seen expecting parents post on their FB pages, basically saying "we have waited 9 long months to make our announcement, so please let us do it". I am planning to post something like it soon.
@SouthernMama15 a foot massage sounds amazing right now. My sciatic pain flared up last night and DH helped massage it out some, but I would much rather have a foot massage. I might schedule a last minute pedi before my due date, just to have the massage.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
@DeansGirl14 that's pretty crappy that their news got spoiled. We don't announce the name to anyone until they are at the hospital. So even if the birth is announced, they have zero info past that.
@mrsmatt1212 yeah I totally agree. In my previous BMB I believe there was a discussion on this subject and I was shocked that I was in a very small percentage that thought of it that way.
@aehogan90 I'm with you. It's hard to read/put into writing, but I too want our kids to see a loving, prioritized, healthy relationship between DH and I so that they know what to look for in their future spouse(s). DH is my best friend, and I want our kids to see that we are a team and a bond that isn't likely to be broken.
@DeansGirl14 we have already told the grandparents and aunts (the only people we plan to tell when we go into labor) that they are not the ones who get to announce anything. That even once baby arrives, and they come meet her-until we say ok, it is not their news to share.
My mom is on FB with everything and we were very clear!
We plan to do a bit of a mass text to friends with a baby pic to announce her arrival, and then let the families alert the rest of family right before we do the public post- so they don't have too much time to announce for us.
TW: 1 infant loss 8/17: Our daughter was born 8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass 2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old 4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@DeansGirl14 That exact situation happened to us. My mom sent my aunt a family photo of DH and I with the baby right after delivery and she posted it on Facebook with all the weight, stats and everything. I was too tired to care at the time, but now I'm a little annoyed by it. I know she was just excited, but it's not your news to share!
@aehogan90 Also totally with you on that. You can always tell those couples whose lives revolve 100% around the kids.. not saying that's a bad thing, but the marriage needs to be nurtured too. Kids observe how their parents interact with each other.
SIL had her baby Tues morning via scheduled c section. One of her and DHs aunts checked in on Facebook at 7:15 even after being told it would be noon or later before visitors were allowed. SIL told me the first thing she said when she came in the room was wanting to know when they were going to post on Facebook because she wanted to. She has no boundaries. When her son and dil had their first back in March they had to tell her to stop posting everything on Facebook. She was posting status updates of every doctor'sappointment and posting how dilated her dil was.
I think pet owners should be responsible for their pets, but in a home where there are pets, it's the parent's responsibility to supervise children around animals. Also, being aware that animals are animals. I'm not saying there aren't animals who are vicious or attack unprovoked, but if a toddler is pulling on an animal it shouldn't be a shock if they get nipped/scratched. Again, I recognize there are times where an animal is "at fault," but an animal doesn't know that your child "doesn't know better." It's important to protect children and animals, and recognize that children should be supervised with even the "sweetest" animal.
@erindippity something like what you just described happened to us a few weeks ago. We were at a large park in our neighborhood, and three little kids came running and the oldest asked if the siblings could pet our dog. Our dog is SUPER gentle and we have never had an issue with him, especially with small kids. In fact he loves kids so much, that he tries to go on the play ground equipment with them. Well these three small kids started to pet him, but the youngest started to go from gentle pets, to a strong hit, and my dog freaked out, moved quickly and growled. He didnt snap or even show his teeth, but we very quickly told the children they had to leave, and DH went and spoke to the parents. The parents of the kids were pissed at us! Our poor dog was shaking and crying cus he didnt know why he got hit, and so we left. I hate it when parents just let their kids do things like that, and then assume that the dog is at fault. Its so important to teach kids how to react around animals, and teach them that even the sweetest dog wont understand why you hit them and will react.
**TW Loss/pregnancy mentioned** Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 5/30/16 and MC on 7/6/16 BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17 BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19 BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19 BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2 Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage IVF started Feb 2020 retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal. Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Mommy to a super cute havanesse puppy and baby boy!
My in laws have an 11 year old miniature dachshund. He's a bit of a grumpy old man and tends to not like children, especially loud ones. When I had DS I went back to work for a while and he stayed with MIL 2 days a week. The first time we took him over there they started yelling at the dog not to come near the baby and tried to put him outside. DH and I told them not to yell when he was near the baby because that would create a negative association and he might really hurt him. We let him sniff him and watched closely. This dog was obsessed with me when I was pregnant and I think he knew that DS came from me. 2 years later he is great with DS because we let him get used to him and taught DS how to treat him.
@SouthernMama15 Congrats on your new... niece? Nephew? Either way, congrats! My "love it" is for that, not the FB obnoxiousness.
My mom and my sister asked me about social media sharing and I said DH and I would share first and have veto power over any picture they wanted to share. They thought we should notify the overseas family via e-mail first, before social media, but those people are also likely to accidentally spoil the news via a return public post. So, I told mom and sis that they can e-mail the family at basically the same time we update social media.
I'm actually going to turn off my "wall." I did that when we first got pregnant because we didn't want people posting stuff before I was ready for my colleagues to know (I have a lot of work friends as FB friends). I already have to approve anything I'm tagged in so between the two it should minimize any accidental spoilers.
Oh and regarding the spouse before child discussion, I agree- you have to nurture your relationship with your spouse! I, too, don't want to be an empty nester realizing I don't know the stranger I still share my home and finances with.
My parents have been married 40 years. They still give each other a hug and a kiss goodbye, even if one's just going to the grocery store.
Here's another one. I do not understand people who get super depressed when a celebrity dies. All these people in my Facebook feed are posting about how sad they are that the guy from Linkin Park died. There was a girl on my last BMB who got drunk and smoked weed she was so upset when Carrie Fisher died and this girl I used to work with drove from Georgia to Minneapolis for a Prince tribute. I mean I get bummed about celebs I like passing or getting divorced, etc, but some people act like their best friend died. It's crazy to me.
@SouthernMama15 Wait... A guy from NIN just died? Upon reading your post I did a quick Google and nothing's popping up. Their keyboardist died last year but the main dude, Trent Reznor, is not yet dead according to Google. More info? (I really like Trent Reznor.)
When celebrities die, DH and I share a renewed chuckle over this: ETA: that came across totally insensitive. It's terrible when anyone dies. It's just... shocking that Keith outlives so many people.
While I 99% agree with your UO, if Billy Corgan were to die I think I would literally shed tears. That's the only public figure whose death I could be legit affected by.
@erindippity DD got scratched by my cat because she wouldn't stop pulling his tail. She was told and told and one day the cat just swatted her. She learned. DH was all mad at the cat like DD hadn't spent a week deserving it.. She hasn't been mean to him since though. Now the cat sleeps at the end of her bed and they are best buddies.
My kids come first. We take time for our marriage and DH is still a huge priority in my life but my kids will always come first. I get what you're all saying and respect it but there is no reason you can't make your marriage a priority and still put your kids as your top prioroty.
My opinion is I don't understand why there is so much pressure to be "pre-pregnancy" anything this late in the game (and so soon after birth). I'm happy miss.unicorn can still wear her jeans but in groups like this it just comes off as bragging to me. Not that you lucky ladies should have to hide your hard work or genetic gift but I feel like being smaller has been brought up a bunch this week. There is no premium on being bigger or smaller at this stage, you don't get a better baby because you're into fitness. Some aspects of labor may be easier for those who were able to continue exercise this late but you're insane if you think having a baby is comparable to anything you've done athletically.
I'm not sad Chester died just a little bummed. Their early music was a big part of my adolescence so it's kinda a bummer. His 6 kids and wife are probably struggling and that kinda bums me out too.
@Nxy I totally get being sad and having empathy for the family, I don't get sinking into a hole or acting like it was someone you were close to. Like that one Facebook friend most of us have that post oh, someone I haven't spoken to in 20 years died, but I'm so sad. Please everyone pray for me. Attention seeking.
@SouthernMama15 I get that. It happens all the time in our tiny* town. Oh so and so's sister died let's all act like we were bff's and be super selfish about someone else passing away. My Mom is always letting me know people I didn't know at all have died so I always seem like a dick when I'm like uhh... so? That sucks.
I'm not one to get more than a little bummed or sad when some celebrities pass away. So many people use celebrity deaths as just another way that they can garner attention for themselves on social media.
But I swear I might sit shiva and weep for days when JK Rowling passes away.
Together: January 2002 Married: May 2008 Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
@Nxy that is so my in laws. FIL is a preacher and someone DH hasn't seen since he was 2 will die and they expect him to know who it is. They used to tell us we needed to go to the funeral home but they've stopped because they know we're not going to go.
Oh Man @caity024 and @mrsmatt1212, I LOVE hot wings. I ordered some the other night and when I asked for 10 they thought I said 10 pounds. Not going to lie--- I probably could have done some damage with the 10 pounds---
@caity024 I'm exactly the same way!! I find wings to be way too messy, and WAY too much work for not a lot of meat! I do love me some boneless wings though!
This is funny, I don't like anything on the bone and have never cared to try wings. DH got pizza and wings tonight and the wings smelled so good I had to eat one. Definitely not something I'd make a whole meal of, though.
Re: UO 7/20
Ill be back later with an UO, cant think of one right now!
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
My UO today is that I hate when people spoil others' news on social media. My friend had her kid yesterday (yay! and 9 hours of labor, no complications) and though I knew because she was messaging a few of us gals during the adventure, I would never say anything publicly. Later in the afternoon some man (I think an uncle) posted a congratulatory message on her Facebook page. Anybody could see it, but my friend and her husband hadn't made it public at that point. Way to spoil the news, Uncle.
A few years back another friend gave birth, but it was a mutual friend who "announced" it on Facebook about how excited she was for her bestie, etc etc. It's not your news to share!!
I love my DD so incredibly much and I already love her brother the same but my relationship with my husband is more important. Obviously babies need a lot of attention and love, and I would do anything for them. The priorities are different when you have a newborn (clearly baby needs things and spouses have to be patient), that's not what I'm referrring. But I want to model a functional marriage to my children. And I don't want my children to be my entire world, that when they grow up and leave, I have no relationship with DH, hobbies, or passions.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
@SouthernMama15 a foot massage sounds amazing right now. My sciatic pain flared up last night and DH helped massage it out some, but I would much rather have a foot massage. I might schedule a last minute pedi before my due date, just to have the massage.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
@mrsmatt1212 yeah I totally agree. In my previous BMB I believe there was a discussion on this subject and I was shocked that I was in a very small percentage that thought of it that way.
5.5.16 | 8.14.17 | 1.30.19
My mom is on FB with everything and we were very clear!
We plan to do a bit of a mass text to friends with a baby pic to announce her arrival, and then let the families alert the rest of family right before we do the public post- so they don't have too much time to announce for us.
1 infant loss
8/17: Our daughter was born
8/18: Our daughter kicked open heart surgery ass
2/19: We lost our son to Prader-Willi/Paradoxical Vocal Cord/ Noonans at 6wks old
4/26/2020: EDD for baby #3!!!
@aehogan90 Also totally with you on that. You can always tell those couples whose lives revolve 100% around the kids.. not saying that's a bad thing, but the marriage needs to be nurtured too. Kids observe how their parents interact with each other.
Married: 7/21/12
BFP: 12/4/16 Due 8/8/17 -- Its a boy! Born 8/14/17
BFP: 5/19/19 and MC on 5/27/19
BFP: 6/24/19, MC on 7/24/19
BFP: 10/24, no heartbeat on 11/27, D&C 12/2
Officially diagnosed with Secondary infertility and recurrent miscarriage
IVF started Feb 2020
retrieval and PGT testing: 18 retrieved, 17 mature, 16 fertilized, 9 to blast, 8 PGT normal.
Transfer #1: June 14, 2020
Congrats on your new... niece? Nephew? Either way, congrats! My "love it" is for that, not the FB obnoxiousness.
My mom and my sister asked me about social media sharing and I said DH and I would share first and have veto power over any picture they wanted to share. They thought we should notify the overseas family via e-mail first, before social media, but those people are also likely to accidentally spoil the news via a return public post. So, I told mom and sis that they can e-mail the family at basically the same time we update social media.
I'm actually going to turn off my "wall." I did that when we first got pregnant because we didn't want people posting stuff before I was ready for my colleagues to know (I have a lot of work friends as FB friends). I already have to approve anything I'm tagged in so between the two it should minimize any accidental spoilers.
My parents have been married 40 years. They still give each other a hug and a kiss goodbye, even if one's just going to the grocery store.
I have mine set up that I have to approve tags from when I got pregnant with DS.
Eta: Linkin Park not NIN.
Wait... A guy from NIN just died? Upon reading your post I did a quick Google and nothing's popping up. Their keyboardist died last year but the main dude, Trent Reznor, is not yet dead according to Google. More info? (I really like Trent Reznor.)
When celebrities die, DH and I share a renewed chuckle over this:
ETA: that came across totally insensitive. It's terrible when anyone dies. It's just... shocking that Keith outlives so many people.
While I 99% agree with your UO, if Billy Corgan were to die I think I would literally shed tears. That's the only public figure whose death I could be legit affected by.
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017
My kids come first. We take time for our marriage and DH is still a huge priority in my life but my kids will always come first. I get what you're all saying and respect it but there is no reason you can't make your marriage a priority and still put your kids as your top prioroty.
My opinion is I don't understand why there is so much pressure to be "pre-pregnancy" anything this late in the game (and so soon after birth). I'm happy miss.unicorn can still wear her jeans but in groups like this it just comes off as bragging to me. Not that you lucky ladies should have to hide your hard work or genetic gift but I feel like being smaller has been brought up a bunch this week. There is no premium on being bigger or smaller at this stage, you don't get a better baby because you're into fitness. Some aspects of labor may be easier for those who were able to continue exercise this late but you're insane if you think having a baby is comparable to anything you've done athletically.
I'm not sad Chester died just a little bummed. Their early music was a big part of my adolescence so it's kinda a bummer. His 6 kids and wife are probably struggling and that kinda bums me out too.
And preach about the jeans and fitness!
But I swear I might sit shiva and weep for days when JK Rowling passes away.
Together: January 2002
Married: May 2008
Baby: August 2017
Clearly we like to rush along at lightning speed...
I'm exactly the same way!! I find wings to be way too messy, and WAY too much work for not a lot of meat! I do love me some boneless wings though!
You should see the container I bought last weekend and how much is already missing
***TW in Siggy***
Me: 34 / DH: 33
Married: Nov 2011
TTC #1: Jan 2013, BFP Sept 2013, DD: June 2014
TTC #2: Aug 2016, BFP Nov 2016, DS: August 2017