Pros VS Cons of Finding Out the Gender

berryfantasticfour

DH and I of course have different views on finding out the gender; I have had two babies prior with a different father, the first was a girl and I found out her gender but at 37 weeks she was stillborn, I then had a son and I didn't find out the gender and I thought it was the best experience.  DH really wants to find out the gender and I am torn.

harpseal135

We did not find out the sex of our child.  For us, we wanted it to be a surprise at the hospital. As we believe it's one of the few true (positive)  surprised in life.  For my DH it was the BEST experience to be able to announce to the room that we had a baby girl.  He said that meant so much to him and that it was one of the most proudest moments of his life, one he will cherish forever.  The joy he had when he called our parents he cried as he told them its a girl.  He said it was way better than finding out from an ultrasound screen.  

All our baby stuff was neutral from nursery to some clothing to car seat, etc. After she was born we got some girl stuff, but my friend who had a boy gave me some of her stuff, and yess DD wore boy onsies around the house.   

It is a personal preference, one that you need to decide together.   Personally, I side with you to wait  

JennyColada

The doctor can tell YH the sex without telling you, if you'd like to meet in the middle.

This is a very personal choice though. Personally, I think that I will need to know the sex in order to grow a greater emotional attachment to my fetus. Without that I think I'd have trouble creating that bond. 

harpseal135

JennyColada said:

The doctor can tell YH the sex without telling you, if you'd like to meet in the middle.

This is a very personal choice though. Personally, I think that I will need to know the sex in order to grow a greater emotional attachment to my fetus. Without that I think I'd have trouble creating that bond. 

-----stuck in box------

The issue with one finding out and the other not is that it will eventually slip by saying he/she or looking unintentionally at the boy choices vs. Girls, I really think this would be too hard to do.  Just my opinion. 

berryfantasticfour

3rescuepups said:

We did not find out the sex of our child.  For us, we wanted it to be a surprise at the hospital. As we believe it's one of the few true (positive)  surprised in life.  For my DH it was the BEST experience to be able to announce to the room that we had a baby girl.  He said that meant so much to him and that it was one of the most proudest moments of his life, one he will cherish forever.  The joy he had when he called our parents he cried as he told them its a girl.  He said it was way better than finding out from an ultrasound screen.  

All our baby stuff was neutral from nursery to some clothing to car seat, etc. After she was born we got some girl stuff, but my friend who had a boy gave me some of her stuff, and yess DD wore boy onsies around the house.   

It is a personal preference, one that you need to decide together.   Personally, I side with you to wait  

I presented this side of the option to him and his thinking about It! Fingers crossed, it just means more in my opinion!

eliz2791

I'm in the same situation. I don't want to know and he does. I think he really wants to have some sort of a gender reveal party because all of his friends have. I think having that surprise at the hospital is more special. That moment the doctor says, "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" is a better surprise. I have a friend waiting till birth and she's gotten a lot of slack from family and friends about not knowing what to buy for the shower. She's even had some people say they aren't going to the shower because they don't know what to gift. Which I just think is silly! She still has a registery. You can always buy gender specific gifts (onesies, bedding, blankets, etc) after the baby is born. The baby is what is important, not the gender. 

BrittaniLC

Something I like to mention, if you are a ftm and find the gender and tell people, you tend to get mostly gender specific clothes at your baby shower vs getting all of the things you NEED! Bottles, car seat, stroller, high chair, PNP, bottles, bath tub, swing, bouncy seat...you get what I mean. Tell those crazy people who "aren't going to get anything" to get items off your registery!

Also, sometimes you don't always get the "It's a boy/girl" announcement after deliver, especially if there were complications. We didn't get it with DD and was kind of disappointed, but we understood making sure baby was healthy was the top priority. Just want OP to hear all sides. 

lifeisbetteronthered

We didn't find out with our first, and it was a nice surprise.  We found out for our next two.

For our second I can't remember why we decided to find out but I was so glad we did.  He was born via a crash csection under general anesthestic so I was out and DH couldn't be in the room.  We both missed any announcements.

lovesclimbing

BrittaniLC said:

Something I like to mention, if you are a ftm and find the gender and tell people, you tend to get mostly gender specific clothes at your baby shower vs getting all of the things you NEED! Bottles, car seat, stroller, high chair, PNP, bottles, bath tub, swing, bouncy seat...you get what I mean. Tell those crazy people who "aren't going to get anything" to get items off your registery!

Also, sometimes you don't always get the "It's a boy/girl" announcement after deliver, especially if there were complications. We didn't get it with DD and was kind of disappointed, but we understood making sure baby was healthy was the top priority. Just want OP to hear all sides. 

I disagree. I think this probably entirely depends on you circle. I'm a FTM and we didn't find out, and at my shower, I primarily got gender neutral blankets, clothes, etc. I got almost nothing off my registry - the car seat and a high chair seat and that's it. No cloth diaper covers, no changing table, no bouncy seat, no Ergo, no wrap, no boppy pillow, no nursing cover, etc. And while some of those items are expensive, at least half of my registry items were on the less expensive >$40 side. 

So yea, I don't think what you get at your shower is dependent at all on whether you find out or not. 

magnolia305

I agree with @lovesclimbing, I found out the sex of DS.  I got almost everything off of my registry.  I feel like there are tons of gender neutral items out there and as long as you register for those things, you are in the clear.  

harpseal135

We are going to get a wide variety of experiences on this topic. We got almost everything off of our registry, not knowing the sex.

 I know people who refuse to buy off of registries, because they want to buy what they want and not be told what to buy.  It's just the way some people are.  So, I honestly knowing vs. Not knowing doesn't make a difference in buying habits of people.